Mamas of TV Free Children Rollcall - Page 8

[MamiBeth]

Originally Posted by numomnalaska

I think all of the bad rap from TV stems from parents who let their children sit in front of it whenever they want all day long. In that sense, the TV has become a babysitter for many children. That's where the damage to their mind comes in. It's not good for their brain development, we all should know that.

But on occassion we enjoy watching our dd get to watch a developmentally appropriate program that she is enjoying.

Everything in Moderation

Please read the studies about the damage that can be done to a child's brain by watching t.v. or videos before the age of two. This is permanent programming of your child's brain and how it operates - (Your child cannot be reprogrammed). I was allowing my little girl to watch Baby Einstein videos until I learned better. I believe that t.v. in moderation is a total waste of time, just as I believe poison in moderation will still poison you.

[NatureMama3]

A friend and I saw an interesting revelation in this (Plato, The Cave ). What do you all think? What does it bring to mind?

Imagine a dark, subterranean prison in which humans are bound by their necks to a single place from infancy. Elaborate steps are taken by unseen forces to supply and manipulate the content of the prisoner’s visual experience. This is so effective that the prisoners do not recognize their imprisonment and are satisfied to live their lives in this way. Moreover, the cumulative effects of this imprisonment are so thorough that if freed, the prisoners would be virtually helpless. They could not stand up on their own, their eyes would be overloaded initially with sensory information, and even their minds would refuse to accept what the senses eventually presented them. It is not unreasonable to expect that some prisoners would wish to remain imprisoned even after their minds grasped the horror of their condition. But if a prisoner was dragged out and compelled to understand the relationship between the prison and outside, matters would be different. In time the prisoner would come to have genuine knowledge superior to the succession of representations that made up the whole of experience before. This freed prisoner would understand those representations as imperfect—like pale copies of the full reality now grasped in the mind. Yet if returned to the prison, the freed prisoner would be the object of ridicule, disbelief, and hostility.

and this:

Imagine human beings living in an underground, cavelike dwelling, with an entrance a long way up, which is both open to the light and as wide as the cave itself. They’ve been there since childhood, fixed in the same place, with their necks and legs fettered, able to see only in front of them, because their bonds prevent them from turning their heads around. Light is provided by a fire burning far above and behind them. Also behind them, but on higher ground, there is a path stretching between them and the fire. Imagine that along this path a low wall has been built, like the screen in front of puppeteers above which they show their puppets . . . Then also imagine that there are people along the wall, carrying all kinds of artifacts that project above it—statues of people and other animals, made out of stone, wood, and every material. And, as you’d expect, some of the carriers are talking, and some are silent. (514a1-515a3)

[mystic~mama]

Hi mamas,
when I first read this thread, I was on the side of moderation in all things including tv...I have changed the way I feel about it thanks in part to this thread (thanks ). Its been about 2 weeks...I havent really been keeping track...we have been too busy doing fun stuff like reading, crafts and playing to miss tv. I'm so happy that we have gone tv free again, it is really a wonderful thing

~rainysmama

[numomnalaska]

Sorry for stepping out of my bounds and putting many of you mama's on the defensive side. I wasn't writing to debate TV watching, only to give my opinion. Which is why these forums are here in the first place. Thank goodness we are all here checking in on others opinions from time to time.

Thanks for all of the advice for what is "appropriate" for my little family. I better stick to lurking.

[MamaAllNatural]

Wow, very interesting indeed NatureMamaOR.

That's so wonderful to hear rainy's mama!

[asherah]

We got rid of the TV shortly after ds was born... at first we thought we would get another one once he turned 3.. but he is 2 1/2 and we have no plans to get one. We don't miss it one bit.. and I WORK in TV news, so go figure it.
I got rid of it because of the potential neurological effects on ds, as well as wanting to shield him from advertising, and distorted images of people and cultures.

I do see value in nature programs, great movies and documentaries, but not until he is much much older. He can get all he needs from books and music and being out in the world with us right now.

We do use the computer in front of ds. But the computer isn't the TV. We do not play computer or video games. I don't have an issue with ds seeing me post messages or do research. I don't think that has the same effect on his brain at all.

We have a portable dvd player for watching movies when ds is in bed. And no, I don't see myself as a hypocrite. I am an adult. I drink wine and have sex. Ds doesn't because he is 2 1/2. I don't think I need to stop drinking wine or having sex because I have a kid. I still get to be an adult.. I don't have to live like a 2 1/2 year old to raise one.

[Butter]

asherah, you said you work in TV news. Do you find it (the news) to be manipulative? Since I haven't had TV when I hear a news cast I am shocked at just how manipulative it seems to be.

As for being weird or different, so what? My kids are different for having co-slept until 4 1/2 and almost 3 and still being welcome in our bed any time (which is usually 3 am for the 3 year old). My kids are different for extended nursing. My son is different for being intact. My kids are different for homeschooling. The point is there will always be things they are different for. TV is but one of them.

[ShannonCC]

Heather (newmomalaska) you don't have to lurk at MDC, just check which forum you are in before you post. This is the tribe forum. That means that these threads are for people who want to hang out with others who have the same opinions on a certain issue (or the same life experience, etc). Which doesn't mean that the posters never want to debate the issue of tv, but it *does* mean they want a safe place to come every now and then where they don't *have* to debate it because everyone is of the same mind. So this wasn't the place to post that you think tv is fine. You can't expect to say that here that and not have people tell you they think you are wrong. No one was rude but it's just not the place to debate the issue. It would be like going to the breastfeeding forum and saying that in your opinion, formula is ok in moderation

I watched as much tv as I wanted as a kid and I was very unpopular and picked on in school. Not to say it won't ever be an issue but being a tv junkie didn't make me fit in so . . . :LOL So far we're fine here. I guess it helps that her best friend doesn't watch a lot (mom doesn't allow it on M-F and they watch minimally on the weekends). And we also homeschool and I think that makes a difference. We do have friends who watch mega amounts (and are great kids and we love the family!). But also, I don't mind if my dd sees tv at other people's houses every now and then. But if that's ALL they do at someone's house we just plan playdates somewhere else where tv is not available. Playgrounds, parks, etc.

[MamaAllNatural]

Originally Posted by asherah

I am an adult. I drink wine and have sex. Ds doesn't because he is 2 1/2. I don't think I need to stop drinking wine or having sex because I have a kid. I still get to be an adult.. I don't have to live like a 2 1/2 year old to raise one.

This is how I see it too Asherah.

[Periwinkle]

Ashera

My thoughts exactly. (Plus, try and make me give up HGTV and TLC! nooo nooooooo nooooooooo!) I do admit to enjoying TV (within reason) but doesn't make it okay for dd and ds. (or me but that's another thread!)

[VBMama]

Joining on page 8, a bit late, but we're another tv-free family here.

I grew up with tv, but was always more interested in reading than spending lots of time watching tv. Dh was TV-free from about age 8 onwards. I watched a moderate amount as a young single adult, mostly the usual pop culture stuff. When I moved in with dh six years ago, we had a tv but never chose to watch as we spent most of our non-work hours playing volleyball (my mantra - I will not be a nursing mama forever, I *will* play volleyball again someday) and the remainder working in the garden. Then our renter quit paying for the cable we were mooching. Since we lived in a rural mountain area with no reception we no longer had the option to watch even if we wanted. We haven't had a tv in our home for the last five years, with the exception of the three months we lived with my parents while househunting.

I could go on & on why I don't think tv is good for me or my baby. Suffice it to say, I believe tv is a corporate medium for delivering advertising & blatantly & subtly promotes a consumerist mindset that makes people feel dissatisfied with aspects of their lives that would be better if only they spent money on [...].

Dh & I haven't figured out how we will handle computer screen time when ds is older (at least past 3). Dh is a serious computer geek, and I like my internet. I have been mulling the interesting comments here on "do as I say, not as I do." Thanks for the discussion!

[Butter]

Well, as of 3:30 this afternoon, we no longer have a TV. Someone from church came and picked the TV and DVD player up. She is going to give it to her daughter and her fiance (who are starving students and otherwise would not have a TV or DVD player). Part of me feels bad for contributing to someone else watching TV, but at least it's not in the landfill...

[Emmama]

I am sooo glad I found you guys!

I read this thread a week or so ago and it inspired me. I HATED the way that dd would just glaze over in the few shows she would watch on the TV. It got to the point that she would BEG me to turn it on all the time! Thought to get rid of cable did not even occur to me .......until I read this.

So, I called cable and got rid of it! It has not been all that long, but I like it a lot better. Dd is already changing and is more interested in playing and creating than wating to turn on the tube. Thank you so much ladies! You have saved my child.

[NatureMama3]

YAY Butter and YAY Emmama!

[Butter]

Congratulations, Emmama! It is truly amazing how being TV-free really changes kids for the better (or perhaps it's really watching TV that changes them for the worse).

[farmer mama]

Hurray for Butter and Emmama!

[UrbanPlanter]

Yay Butter and Emmama!

[bunnybartlett]

I am late coming in to this conversation,

but I have just finished reading all your posts.I have been thinking about this subject for months now.

My dd watches waaay too much television.She didn't watch any till maybe the age of eighteen months.It all began as a video a day so I could shower.We now watch a regular amount of childrens programming daily,although I managed to keep it off better in the summer months when we could go to the park and swimming etc.Now winter is coming and even in the last few yucky weather days we have had I can see what a monster I have created.

Tv is the only way I can have a phone conversation or get any housework done.She doesn't know how to amuse herself when the tv is off.If I am playing with her she is fine but I have to get some stuff done,,,kwim??

I really want to wean her from this addiction.I am a failure as I never intended this to happen...it was my crutch in parenting.How can I encourage her to play independantly??Will I have to really keep her busy initially and then she will "never be bored" as you ladies describe??

Any creative ideas you use when you simpy cannot play with them??Please let me know how it went when you all pulled the plug...


Help!!!!
Linda

[BinahYeteirah]

bs"d

Hi! We have a TV-free household. We don't have a TV or VCR, and have no plans to acquire them. We do have a DVD player in our computer, but I have recently put my foot down about even movie watching. I am not totally against the occasional (carefully-selected) movie for older members of the family, but I knew if I opened the gates to movies, I couldn't stop them from coming. Dh makes plans to go to a relative's house to view movies when he feels he *must* watch them. While I too occasionally enjoy certain movies, I hate the way I am sucked into watching whatever dh puts on, even if it disgusts me (violence, stupid Hollywood action flicks, etc.). I am so glad dh has agreed to this arrangement! I can really feel trapped by my compulsion to view these types of media, and am relieved to be free of the temptation. Thank you, dh! It is extra relieving after living in a furnished apartment in Japan (with a TV, of course), where the TV was on far too much. I considered it a "cultural experience" , so I'm afraid I allowed dd to see it much more than I intended.

[spsmom]

getting closer to my goal

Originally Posted by spsmom

i am a hypocrite. i have always believed in tv free kids. ds does not watch programming or videos. and really, he could care less. he is more interested in the remote because it makes things happen on the screen!

so here is my problem. i have found myself in a depressed rut whre i have convinced myself that there is nothing else to do. so as ds and i are home during the day, the tv is on. i am watching crap. remember, no cable, so it's not even educational stuff, it's crap like people's court and oprah. i am so ashamed to even admit this to anyone!

we live in a place where there are no families that i would even consider striking up a relationship with. (we are in so cal where hosue prices are so high we had no choice but to buy here). so, no friends close by, no money to fix up our huge yard so there is no palce for ds to play (he is 18mo, btw) and not a lot money to get memberships to museums and zoos, etc.

i have met with some semi-local moms and they meet for play dates, but the timing has been off because of naps for ds.

noticing a trend, i am making excuses for everything.

help! i need some motivation to get creative. any advice would be greatly appreciated. i am really stuck and i can't get myself to shut the damn thing off!

this was my original post from a couple of weeks ago. no, i had mentioned we don't even have cable, but i find myself vegging anyway. i kid you no that day my dh upgraded our cable! it's like i am swimming up stream sometimes.

you all have inspired me. i know it is going to be a long road but i have kept the tv off as much as possible during the day this week. we do have music stations that i have been putting on in the background which is really fun becuase we can listen to swing, show tunes, kid songs, classical, etc...

fortunately, it is my dh and i that have the problem not ds. he just likes pressing the buttons! so i am only having to take it away from myself rather than the both of us! now i just have to keep working on dh to jump on board. he just doesn't see it as a problem since ds doesn't watch it when it is on! (eyes rolling here!)

thanks again! i'll keep you posted.