Homeschool groups, older children, and teens

[luv my 2 sweeties]

An issue has come up in our homeschool group, and someone in the group pointed out that it seems to be an issue in other groups she's familiar with as well. The ages of the children in the group tend heavily toward the young, even the very young. We have many toddlers and preschoolers, and a decent number of elementary age children, but then it drops off dramatically. The group has existed for some time, and plenty of new people keep joining, but they seem to fade out as their kids pass age 9 or so. We have been doing some planing both for the coming year and for the longer-term future, and there seems to be a desire to make the group more interesting to families with older kids, but since we have so few it's hard to start the kinds of interest clubs, classes, or events that might attract them. Teens seem to be losing contact with eachother in the HS groups and seeking out high school or some other type of social group interaction.

It seems to be a sort of chicken and egg problem. Perhaps more teens would attract more teens, but how do you start? For my own family, we're far from the teen years, but I would like to see some peer groups for the kids based on interests (book clubs, science fair teams, etc.) However, my kids aren't old enough for it yet, so right now, I'm only into the social get-togethers (which is really all the group does at this point.) It makes it hard for me to lobby for the creation of these types of groups if I'm not going to participate. Still, I'd love to see them in place for existing families with kids over age 6, new families, and my family in a few years. Kind of a dilema...

I'm curious to know if anyone here belongs to a group that has navigated some of these issues and might have some insight for our group. We will be meeting formally a week from tomorrow to discuss our vision and our plans. (We've been discussing informally by email and at park days for a few weeks already.) Thanks!

[annethcz]

I have no experience with this, as my oldest child is the same age as yours

But here's a link to our local teen homeschooling support group, perhaps it will give you an idea as to what is out there. The group is very large and active.
http://www.ouryeah.org/

[UnschoolnMa]

We started an unschooling group earlier this year and we are just starting to get a few older kids (thank Goddess!) My kids are 13 and almost 11 so it's a relief to have some kids their age. I honestly do not know exactly how to go about fixing it. We try to make our activities fun and do-able for all ages but I think if we got enough teens then we'd have some things just for them. I have no terrific advice, but I do understand where you are coming from. Perhaps you could use the library meeting room for a teen movie night and book club and maybe go from there?

[moominmamma]

My eldest is 10.5, and I can tell you a little about the natural evolution of her interests that might explain the phenomenon of the "disappearing teens" in your support group. When she was 4 and 6 and 8, she was in a 'sampling' phase of her exploration of outside activities. Homeschool gymnastics? Sure, she'd try that! Homeschool swim? Why not. Field trip to the salmon spawning grounds, to a gold mine, to the power plant? Yeah, she was up for that. Homeschool park day? Yeah, okay. She had time and anything seemed worth a look-see.

Now, though, she's got a lot of 'delving' interests on the go. She's very heavily into music, so she's got piano lessons, workshops and recitals, violin lessons, group classes, orchestra and performances. She's also involved in a volunteer gardening project, and that ties her up another half day a week. On top of this, she has her daily responsibilities at home, and deepening friendships with two long-term friends whom she gets together with at least once or twice a week.

So when a homeschool musical theatre activity comes up, she's liable to say no. She's already committed to a number of things that involve a lot of travelling and a lot of time and the idea of adding another whole layer of committments isn't appealing. Her balance is about right as it is. If there's a homeschool park day, she's likely to prefer to do her regular Friday with Annie instead. There are some things she's still keen to 'sample' but they're fewer in the last year or two.

So I wonder if it's not so much that homeschooled teens are finding the home-ed support group activities lacking as that they're simply too busy and committed to other things to have the time and energy for generic activities.

Miranda

[UnschoolnMa]

Moominmama,

THanks for your insight there! That is definately something for us to consider, and an issue I hadnt thought really. In that respect I think it's a good plan to offer activities that are brief and "light" (fun hang out times, games, etc) so that there isn't a ton of commitment involved. That way tweens and teens who are already involved in things, but who still want to participate with a group can.

[anythingelse]

for our family part of it is that parenting differences in families become a big divider as kids turn teens
there are some families I would love to do stuff with their younger kids with my younger ones
but their older kids my older ds would not want to hang out with & I would not want them with my 7 & 10 yr old

for example clothing choices, swearing, smoking, and personal freedoms- there can be a huge dif in a conservative family teen that has been sheltered through elem years and a teen from a more liberal family and also kids choose academic paths at that time, big life choices- teens on a college path may have less free time
many older homeschoolers do volunteer work or have pt jobs that keep them busy

[UnschoolnMa]

Vannas Mom wrote:
for example clothing choices, swearing, smoking, and personal freedoms- there can be a huge dif in a conservative family teen that has been sheltered through elem years and a teen from a more liberal family and also kids choose academic paths at that time, big life choices- teens on a college path may have less free time
many older homeschoolers do volunteer work or have pt jobs that keep them busy
=====================================
Very true! My kids would be the ones from the more liberal family, and we do see some of that in the IRL unschool group we've started. My kids can swear (though they are respectful and do not around most other people, esp people we do not yet know well) and we dress differently than the other fams we've met. So far so good though. When people join the group they are encouraged to keep an open mind about families that are of a different lifestyle than themselves and basically be respectful of each other.

THe part time jobs and college thing is probably a big reason, esp for the older teens. My 13 yr old is just dying to get a job lol.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Thanks for all the responses so far! (Keep 'em coming!)


Moominmama, your post was enlightening. I think there's surely something like that going on. But then why are so many opting for high school? I'm actually not sure how many *are*, but it's an impression many people seem to have. I think many of us are concerned that a percieved lack of social opportunities might lead kids to make a more limiting *educational* choice. Does that make sense? Thanks for your perspective on this. It's something to think about and ask around about. I think I'll have a chat with our baby sitter about this. She's a homeschooled teen (her family belongs to a different group, though.)

Vanna's mom, I hadn't thought about the social/behavioral differences. I don't know if that's a problem in our group or not. I haven't been around long enough. I'll bring it up though, to see if it has been an issue in the past.

Thanks again everyone. I'd love to hear more if anyone else has experience to share.

[anythingelse]

we have park day today and my 16 yr old will be at community college. He has not been able to do the field trip stuff either this year so far cause it conflicts with his schedule. i was thinking more on this and maybe would try to involve teens more in the planning of events, try to do exit polls/surveys for people leaving your group so they can say why they left, maybe make more family things rather then for specific age groups I would offer a 'sorry to see you go' letter with a form to fill out and a SASE to return it with if you have a large group, a smaller one maybe a personal phone call to sort out why people disappear

mebe another factor is that as parents homeschool for a a few years they may not need the support and the interaction of a hs group that parents of younger children desire when they begin to homeschool

[atypicalandrea]

But then why are so many opting for high school?

A *lot* of families seem to be leaving the choice of high shcool up to the child, or automatically hs until high school age, because it is quite daunting in the "I never got algebra, how am I gonna teach it?". Sadly, for some folks it just seem "easier" in the high schools years just to send 'em on.

I think (given that i have hs teens) that a loose, imformal flop-type of group would be just the thing. To hang out, maybe sans parents (except one or two chaperones or monitors) and sans younger siblings. I would also second the whole idea about how many of them are involved in a lot of other things. Then also, there are a small segment of jaded teens who never want to do or join anything. Sigh.

[mama_kass]

Just getting kids involved in their community is a good idea. It doesn't have to be a hs group. Organizations, churches, clubs, ect. are all great for children of all ages.