Fighting me all the time ... my 3 y/o

[Melda]

Oh ........ my perfect 3 y/o son is DRIVING ME UP A WALL!

This child fights me with everything i ask of him. No matter what it is. If i say dinner is ready he wont eat. IF i say lets go get in the car he says NO. If I say time to color he wants to paint. If i say lets go play trucks he wants to go fishing . When i say lets go home (from fishing) he wants to stay fishing. I always give him a time or a limit for example 5 more minutes of painting or 3 more times casting your fishing pole Etc.. Etc...

No matter what it is he wants the opposite of what I am asking and it is really driving me nutty. If i dont let him do what he is asking it is a full fledge crying screaming and kicking fit. Please tell me i am not alone here. I *try* my hardest never to give in to him when he is throwing the fit but at the same time I know it is important for him to become himself so when he says he wants to do X (ie..fishing instead of playing trucks) do I let him do it if it is not going to hurt anything? He always crys when he does not get his way btw and this alone drives me nutty. I let him cry comforting him when possible ie: driving down the road is not a good time although i talk to him kindly about things most of the time trying to calm him. I have been trying my hardest to use gentle discipline approach on most things but it is just not working (or it does not appear to be working) ... PLease mamas and papas... any suggestions would be appreciated ...

[Mommiska]

Yeah - it's the age. My three year old is very similar. She SCREAMS at us if she doesnt' get her own way, and often it is because she's asking me to do something unreasonable.

For example, the other day, I was walking downstairs with her, holding ds is one arm and some clothes in the other. She wanted me to walk ds down the stairs (he's 1 and not walking on his own yet...not safe to try to walk him down the stairs period).

I explained that it wasn't safe for ds to walk down the stairs, and dd threw a FIT. Huge. Lasted about 10-15 minutes.

At the moment, I just wait it out and then give her acceptable ways to tell me when she doesn't like something. I remember my oldest dd doing the same thing at this age, and she did grow out of it after a month or two, so here's hoping...!

I pick my battles with her. If she wants to do something, I let her do it, as long as it doesn't hurt/inconvenience/etc. other people.

Sorry I'm not much help other than to sympathise. Sounds like you are handling things well. Hang in there!