Cesarean Support Circle-October 2004 - Page 6

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by bwylde

Wow, congratulations!!! It will be good to have you around again

Thanks! I believe I am finding good balance in my life right now. So my name OnTheFence is even more fitting. I have really come to accept my balance and dont feel ashamed of it or guilty for it. I think there are a lot of us out there, and I feel most at home at Mothering with my pregnacy, baby experiences.
My plan is not to stress over this pregnancy. I am not going to take progesterone this time (I dont think I need it this time like I did with Jack) I believe if I was going to loose a pregnancy for that issue it would have happened by now. Because of the uterine deformity my first trimester will be iffy but, I dont feel all urgent and stressed like I did the last time. Very relaxed. I probably will have an ultrasound to date the pregnancy since I really am unsure when it happened. Since I do want to plan the csection I need a good forcast on that.

[its_our_family]

OTF--I've missed you!! Congrats on the pg!

[Henry's_Mamma]

Kim ... welcome back and congratulations!!!

[Ms.Doula]

yeah,
OTF, havent seen ya in a while
CONGRATS!!

(and, cause Im nosey like that; WHY are you automaticly scheduling another c-sec.?) Sorry, If you dont mind my asking, of course.

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by Ms.Doula

yeah,
OTF, havent seen ya in a while
CONGRATS!!

(and, cause Im nosey like that; WHY are you automaticly scheduling another c-sec.?) Sorry, If you dont mind my asking, of course.

Several reasons.
Emotionally this is what I know. At this point with no 3(bio) on the way, having had a wonderful experience the last time, I see no reason not to do it. My new OB, did offer me a trial of labor, if I wanted one. Since I feel that I having a VBAC is pretty slim, I do not want to labor and then be cut because I feel this is far riskier.
Physical reasons are simple, I have a malformed uterus and its been cut on twice. The likely hood of this baby being transverse or in some weird stuck position is very likely. My last baby was head down for 7 weeks and stayed in that one spot. His shoulder presented against the cervix and they had trouble getting him out during the csection. Once my babies get in position and get to a certian size the physically cant move in the uterus.
Ten years ago I would have loved to been having babies at home or just natural, it just is not something is going to happen for me. With my prenatal history and uterus I am not a candidate for homebirth, and after lots of research I know that my rupture rate is much higher than the average girl with a csection.
From my research I beleive that planning a repeat is far safer for maternal fetal outcome than after laboring first. I do not want to have a csection on a weekend or in the middle of the night. I dont want to risk prolapse cord with ruptured membranes.
I do know that with this pregnancy I am scheduling this one two days before my due date (due date is on a weekend). I really doubt I will go into labor before then.

[MommytoTwo]

I tried for a VBAC and had a c/s. What did I do to prepare for the possibility of a c/s? The only thing I could do was to do everything possible to have a VBAC. I read every book about VBACs and natural birth that I could. I posted and lurked on many VBAC boards online. I read and bookmarked dozens of websites. I joined ICAN and learned everything I could about c-sections, VBAC, inductions, labor, etc. I hired a doula at $500. I interviewed doctors and midwives, switched hospitals twice, went 2 weeks overdue in a climate where a day overdue is "unneccesary"...

I thought - no- I KNEW if I had to have a c/s I would go crazy and so I had to know that if it happened, that it happened for a valid medical reason. ANd it did. Thats the only reason I can even begin to be ok with it. I am still, and will forever be bitter and sad about the FIRST one that caused all this. That was the unneccesary one, the one that was so bad. The second one I knew what I wanted- baby in my arms ASAP- and was VERY vocal about it and I got it. I was treated with respect as a mother, not just a vessel that a baby was extracted from. Try to identify what you want out of your vbac- what it is you need emotionally, and try to make a plan to get that from a c/s birth. For me it was having the baby immediately and not being separated. So I made that my top priority and I was ok.

[mandalamama]

i'm freaking out ... we had to wean from breastfeeding suddenly last week due to medication issues on my part. it feels like "adding insult to injury" on top of the c-birth the cesarean happened once, it's something i can grieve over and heal from. the bottlefeeding happens 8 or more times a day, and every time i am hurting so badly!! nursing her was the best times of every day, i will cherish those 3.5 weeks forever. when my husband is home, or someone else is visiting, i have to let them give her the bottle (the smell of my milk bothers Willow, she gets so frustrated) and i have to leave the room and cry my guts out. when i feed her, i try to make it as much like nursing as possible, a quiet and gentle time, and i am choking back tears and trying not to let my emotions upset her. it's just a constant reminder of my failure and a constant grieving process. i feel selfish for saying this, but i needed the BFing to heal from the c-birth, i needed to know my body could do something right. so now i have two big losses to deal with, and i'm not doing it very well. i'm crying all the time, my dr. put me on Effexor to head off PPD. i have to put Willow down (safely!) and leave the room to cry really hard, i even end up throwing and breaking things in frustration.

anyone else also lose breastfeeding?

[tammylc]

MellyBelly - lots of doctors know squat about breastfeeding and will tell you you have to wean, "just to be on the safe side." According to Kellymom.com, Effexor can be used in breastfeeding moms. Or are you referring to another medication issue? Anyway, Kellymom has a good list of medication safety - please check it out! Maybe there's still a chance you can breastfeed!

http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/index.html

[whimsy]

I agree about getting a second opinion regarding meds and breastfeeding. What has your ped said? I have a very pro-bf ped and she says there are only a few meds that warrant weaning. I think they are like chemo type drugs.

It's her opinion that the little bit of most meds that cross into breastmilk are still better than formula.

On the other hand, I did lose nursing with my twins. They were preemies and in different hospitals 100 miles apart. I was very upset. It made me all the more adamant that I nurse Brody. That's how I found our new ped. I searched for the most pro BF doctor in the area.

Blessings to you......

[chantald]

Hello

Hello
I was wondering if I could join our group??

I hadmy first c-section in April of 2001. My son was a transverse arrest. After 29 hours of labor I ended up with a c-section. Long story short.. My water broke, I was told to come right to the hospital, dutifuly went.. was induced (not allowed to wait for labor to start on its own..), left alone to labor with DH (all the nurses were busy).. struggled through 6 hours of intense back labor.. got an epidural.. pushed for 3 hours and was told to have a c-section.
It was a crushing crushing blow.. and coupled with a baby in the NICU for dehydration, bfing difficulties and 9 weeks of thrush..started a downward spiral of depression and anger..
With my second pregnancy I vowed that I would not have this happen again.. I chose a new practice..with a MW, hired a doula and read and educated myself as much as one could humanly do..i think.. Having a second c-section never entered my brain.. But guess what.. it happened last month..
It was a much different experience.. much more positive..My birth story for my second child is here
http://www.ovusoft.com/forum Tell Someone, then Birth Stories, then Sophia Edith's birth (sorry a direct link doesn't work..)

But I am still coping with feeling saddened by my second C.. and striving to stay positive...Hearing of others who have had bigger babies vaginally makes keeping positive hard...Some days are harder than others..

So.. that is the abridged version of my story.. Thanks for listening..

Chantal

[eilonwy]

wow chantal, that's quite a story! and quite a briuse on her forehead, too!

[MommytoTwo]

Did breastfeeding help you?

I really think that if I had not been able to BF DD for some reason that I would just go crazy. I wanted that VBAC so bad, and I feel like breastfeeding her is .. I dont know... something natural and physical I can do for her, something very "motherly" I am doing, even though I didnt get those things with her birth since I am getting them now it really has saved me. Does that make sense?

[srmina]

Originally Posted by mellybean

i'm freaking out ... we had to wean from breastfeeding suddenly last week due to medication issues on my part. it feels like "adding insult to injury" on top of the c-birth

anyone else also lose breastfeeding?

I don't know how long you plan on being on the med, but you could pump for now (get a double pump, preferably a hospital grade pump which rents for $50/month) and then resume breastfeeding later on.

I was never able to breastfeed my dd because she was extremely sick at birth and still (at 16mo) is 90% tubefed. But I did pump for her for 13 months, which was extremely fulfilling (albeit somewhat time consuming) for me. And she is the healthiest tubefed kid most doctors have ever seen!

[chantald]

Hello
I know that with my first c/s I needed to BF my DS.. I felt so badly about his birth that I didn't want to "fail" in that area too.. We had such difficulties for 9 weeks.. thrush that would not go away.. DS had a dairy protien allergy.. gas.. I was so close to giving up so many times.. But I am a very stubborn person.. and we prevailed..
This time.. I was so certain I would have a VBAC and certain I would be crushed if I didn't get one.. but neither thing happened.. I had a repeat C, but it was a much more affirming birth.. and I wasn't crushed.. just saddened.. I think that BFing helped again too.. to reaffirm that my body does work just fine and we just had rotten luck.. But I also think that if you can't or don't want to bf.. that it is ok too.. you can bond and love your baby too..
Meli: the loss of bfing must be so hard for you. I am sorry to hear about that and wanted to tell you so. Allow yourself to grieve.. but try not to blame yourself. For me, forgivng myself was the first step in healing.. and I had a hard time doing that.. but once I started to do that, that also helped me be a better mommy to my DS..


Chantal

[calla lily]

Hi all. I'm just now getting around to reading this. I had my 2nd c/s 4 1/2 months ago. The first was unplanned and unwanted and I'm still not sure if it was really needed. The second was a planned vbac, but dd was transverse up till the end, so I agreed to the c/s. Anyway I'm wondering if it is normal to still be sore 4 1/2 months pp. My incision site feels fine but my belly above that and below my belly button is still numb and sore, at the same time if that's possible. And there are a couple spots near my belly button that have been sore since the c/s. I can't really tell if it's my skin or below my skin that hurts. It's not too painful and doesn't really stop me from doing anything, but it's bugging me. I don't remember being sore for this long after my first. I asked my dr about it when I went in for my pp checkup at 8 weeks pp, and he had no idea. I've been working out, which doesnt' seem to be doing any good, and doing pilates and I wonder if maybe I should stop with the stomach exersices. And I don't understand why I'm sore up near my belly button.

[chantald]

Hi
Sorry.. I don't know about your lingering pain. I don't recall that from cs #1 and its been only 6 weeks since cs #2. The numbness I remember, that took years to go away

Chantal