Cesarean Support Circle-October 2004 - Page 3

[mandalamama]

one unexpected side effect of c-birth for me ... i can't read birth stories i used to love reading them especially here, but now i just start crying and crying. jealousy, grief, anger, whatever ... it just hurts too much

i'm Buddhist and there's a teaching, "turning poison into medicine" so i always try to do that with every situation. the first time i touched my scar in the hospital, i wept, i felt sad about it but also i could feel how special it is that Willow came from it. so some day i'm going to get a tattoo over the scar, a little spiral right in the center, to remind me that i now have two "birth canals."

peace,
meli

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by mellybean

i'm Buddhist and there's a teaching, "turning poison into medicine" so i always try to do that with every situation. the first time i touched my scar in the hospital, i wept, i felt sad about it but also i could feel how special it is that Willow came from it. so some day i'm going to get a tattoo over the scar, a little spiral right in the center, to remind me that i now have two "birth canals."

That's so beautiful!

T I don't think I'll ever get a tattoo anywhere near my scar-- I'm much too fat, and then there's that pesky problem of being terrified of tattoo allergies... :LOL I still think it's a really neat idea, though. My sister has a scar on her forearm from a fungal infection she had, and she had it covered with a tattoo.

[whimsy]

i felt sad about it but also i could feel how special it is that Willow came from it

I love that!!! Something for us all to keep in mind!

[its_our_family]

I like the thought of he scar being special because that is where my babies came from.

I had the same idea for a tat but unfortunately you can't get it tatted on because most likely the ink won't take So, I'm going to settle for around it.

[its_our_family]

Colleen-- We have babies with almost the same bdays!! Tracy was born 4/26/02 and Bryce was born 1/29/04!!

nuchal x4 that is scary! You totally didn't giv up. You pushed for 2 hours. You do what you feel is best and be confident in that!

[TCMoulton]

I didn't look at my scar for several weeks - it just scared me!

Megan - what a coincidence with the birthdays! Were your babies both "trouble makers" with their births requiring c-sections or just one?

Thankfully I have babies with extremely long cords otherwise Katie wouldn't be here today - and she has not suffered any from extremely traumatic birth - at 2 she was 36 inches tall!

Even after I tell people about her birth, I sometimes get the feeling as if they don't understand why that led me to be so open to a c-section with Maddie...after Katie's birth where my parents, MIL, and SIL saw her in the nursery before I did more than 4 hours later I knew that I would move heaven abd earth to make sure that I would be the first to hold my second little miracle, even if I did have to wait 45 minutes to do it!

Colleen

[its_our_family]

Tracy was a failed induction...I was ignorant and the ob c/b happy.

Bryce was a planned c/b after not knowing whether he wanted to be had down or head up face down or face up. I dilated to almost 2 and then closed up within a week... I said, screw it!

[TCMoulton]

Oh not fun at all - nothing better than stubborn babies!

Katie was 16 hours of labor, 2 failed epidurals, one successful epidural, 2 + hours of pushing, and one BIG push with the much appreciated assistance of the forceps, but I can be proud and say no tear and episiotomy, Dr. never even brought it up!

Maddie was 2 hours of labor, arrive at the hospital dialated to 8, 1 hour later, dialated to 10 with bulging waters, water breaks, back to 8, successful epi, push like mad for 2 hours with NO progress since she was hanging from my ribs by her toes, ending in a relatively easy c/s with a not so bad recovery!

Did I fail to mention that both had mec staining of their water...but how I do love my troublemaking little ladies!

All I want to know is if my "C/S flap" will ever leave my stomach!

[its_our_family]

Will the flap leave...don't count on it i hear they stay forever!! I'm having mine removed

Tracy I only dilated to 4 (might have been 3). I had 16 hours of no meds but the pit. I didn't dialte farther than I was when I walked in the door. The pit did nothing but stress out my uterus "border on uterine rupture" is what the ob said. Tracy was a champ. Never had a decel! With Bryce I dilated to almost 2 then to nothing. The day he was born I was barely effaced and about 1cm. I scheduled the c/b 4 days before it happened. I was with a mw practice and a bc and I left them at 34 weeks because I HATED them.

My ob was absolutely awesome! She was in her 60s too. She was in the paper when Bryce was 2 weeks old. Everyone was horrifed she was in there. I didn't think it was a big deal. Her, her wife and daughter were holding a sign about gay marriage. I think shes awesome!! She had had a mastectomy too. I didn't realize this until she was in the OR. She wears her "fakes" to the office. She was also an ob in Africa for 4 years and planned on going back when she retired. Her goal was to reduce the number of maternal deaths by bringing her expertise and hopefully some grant money to open clinics... Man she was awesome! I'd go back to her in a heartbeat.

[TCMoulton]

What an amazing OB! It makes a world of difference if the Dr is someone that you not only respect as a Dr but that you like as a person! My OB practice has 5 docs - 2 of which are women and I truly lucked out with both of my births and had the female docs on call! Personally I felt more comfortable with the women when it came to the later stages of pregnancy and delivery - I was comforted by the fact that they both had recently given birth and could basically say "been there done that". Your doc sounds like she has a world of experience, seen a little bit of everything, which is an awesome quality in a doc - she fought her own battle with cancer and, I would imagine, would better understand a mama's need to feel in control of her pregnancy and birth, whether it be c/s or natural. Sure makes it easier to consider doing it all over again when you have a doc you love to take the trip with you!

[its_our_family]

I found my ob through my friend Debbie. She had 2 kids withthis practice already. It was an all woen practice. One woman I coulndt stand. One was kinda eh. One was alraught. The other was the one I loved. The one I couldn't stand had no knowledge about vbac at all. SHe kept saying we would induce at 41weeks becaue pit never killed anyone I gave her a piece of my mind and told her if she needed to do some research on vbac before spouting off at the mouth!

I think the reason the ob I loved liked me was because I was very informed. I'm a firm believer in that if you know what you are talking about and can back it up you get respect from drs. If not then at least you know who o stay away from!

With her I was vbac and she told me at any point I could call her and set up my repeat date if I chose. Or I could wait till 42 weeks. I could change my mind in labor. If at any point I was uncomfortable with my decision she would do her best to make me feel better or change the situation. She was awesome!

[whimsy]

Mellybean's post really got me thinking.......

The idea of honoring my scar has changed the way I view my body and my c/s experience.

Something else that really helped was when the girls got old enough for me to tell them about their birth. Of course, I didn't want them to hear negative things about their birth. I did tell them I was sad that a c/s was necessary, but then go right on with the story. Hearing them cry, seeing their faces, wondering if I'd ever be able to tell them apart, how their daddy stayed with them when I couldn't, how he beamed as he was telling me about them, how it seemed half the town was there to welcome them into the world, how my big burly DH turned as gentle as a butterfly taking care of "his 3 girls" (me and the twins), when I finally got to hold them (they were preemies and had to stay in nursery) etc.

They still like to talk about how they are so special to daddy because he got to hold them first. (I try not to let them know how sad I was about that)

Anyway.....it was really healing for me to present the story to them in a positive light. I had spent so much time focusing on the negative parts of it, I overlooked the positive parts.

So, here's a challenge.....how 'bout if we write up our beautiful c/s birth stories to share? I had to really look to see some of the positive things, but I wanted them to have a beautiful story to tell about their birth.

Anyone? Anyone?

[its_our_family]

I can do that. If you read my birth story about Bryce you will see the positive. I felt so much different about his birth.

Tracy's birth is the one that positives can be difficult. So many things were surrounding the circumstances of his birth that it can be hard. It is also hard because I believe it was my lack of patience that led to his birth. But after Bryce's finally weeks in utero I wonder if it would have been any different an outcome...

I'll findmy birth story link fromBryce...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=120755

Now I'll get Tracy's
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ad.php?t=89346

While I said Tracy's was a wonderufl experience I don't thinkit was quite that wonderful > it hink the day I wrote his story I was feeling positive. I wasn't scared about the c/b. I knew we would be fine. I mourned the loss of my lost birth. I still mourn it...

[eilonwy]

My c-birth story is fairly positive, I think. As I've said before, I think that BooBah's birth (emergency section) really helped me to get over the trauma of BeanBean's birth (horrific vaginal). The stress of his birth was so much more difficult to deal with than it needed to be because people kept saying "you're so lucky you didn't have a c-section," or "if it was really that bad, you'd have had a c-section," and such things. I always knew that BeanBean should have been a c-section and that it would have been less stressful for me and him if I had had one. Now that I have, I know that I was correct.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason; one month after BeanBean was born, I learned why we had had the birth experience that we did. Even though I understand, I still resent all the pain and misery surrounding his birth. It wasn't a problem of me not trusting my body (because if I had gone on instinct alone I'd have demanded a section) it was the issue of me feeling like perhaps my doctor, who had already had some babies, might have a good idea of what was going on. She didn't; she was just a jerk. I wanted everything to be different with BooBah, so I got a male doctor. He was smart, relaxed, and thoughtful; he was never condescending or rude (which my first dr. was, frequently). When I told him that I wanted to hold and nurse BooBah until the cord stopped pulsing, he wrote it into my chart; when I said that I wanted to hold off on the Hep B and that I wanted to be the first to bathe her, he said "no problem." Everything was looking great, right up until she turned around, "broke" her amniotic sac and prolapsed her cord.

The surgeon who did the c-section was a man who didn't like to do them. He told me, "Just today, we did heroic things so that two other women could have vaginal deliveries, but I know when to hold 'em and I know when to fold 'em, and I think that a c-section would be the safest thing to do in your case, and that we should do it as soon as possible." The whole experience was surreal, but it was really great overall.

[its_our_family]

In a weird way my last c/b gave me confidence to have a vbac. I just wasn't conident in the idea of it when I was pg with Bryce, I liked the sound of it but that was it. Now if I were to have another I KNOW I could do it.

I found out that Cincinnati, where I ahd Tracy, has the highet c/b rate in the country.... makes sense why my ob had the attitude he did.

[srmina]

Can somebody answer my silly questions?

With my first child, my c/s was done emergently under general. She went to the NICU; I went to the surgical floor. I saw her for about 5 min. on the way to the surgical floor and then had to wait about 24 hrs. until I could get out of bed to see her again (hard recovery from general; catheterized for 2 days, no oral intake for 2 days).

What I want to know is about after the c/s. Since this time I will be awake, I want to be able to hold the baby ASAP, nurse ASAP, be in a room with the baby, etc. How long did the ladies here have to wait before being able to do these things?

I guess since I was not able to hold my dd for two weeks and have never been able to nurse her (she can't suck but got 13.5mo of expressed breastmilk), I just really long for that early bonding experience. Did people find they were able to start this process as early as they wanted? Thanks.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by srmina

What I want to know is about after the c/s. Since this time I will be awake, I want to be able to hold the baby ASAP, nurse ASAP, be in a room with the baby, etc. How long did the ladies here have to wait before being able to do these things?

I wasn't able to hold BeanBean when he was born, either; I had a siezure during his delivery, he went to NICU and I was on mag sulfate and didn't get to see him until he was 22 hours old. It was likewise very important to me that I get to hold BooBah as soon as possible.

I had a spinal for her birth, and I was completely wiped afterwards. I got to see her right away, but I couldn't move my arms (they were straight out to my sides, felt kind of funny) or sit up to hold her. I went to PACU for an hour after she was born and slept the whole time; Mike went with BooBah to the nursery. On the way to my room, I got to hold her briefly, and then once I was there the nurses helped me get situated while Mike brought the BooBah to me.

She was able to room in with me as long as Mike spent the night too, (because I'd had surgery, so I couldn't get up with her right away) so he did and BooBah spent her first night attached to my boob. It was a totally different experience from her brother, who had a hard time latching on initially, and I didn't get to nurse him for two days, and even then it was in the NICU and not in my own room where I controlled the temperature and the lights.

I wouldn't be surprised if every hospital was different, but let them know in your birth plan that you want to hold and nurse the baby ASAP.

[whimsy]

My sister had a c/s a little over a year ago. Our OB was/is great about the bonding thing (his wife had 1 horrible vag birth followed by 5 c/s)

The procedure in our local hospital is that the baby can stay with you the whole time (except for when they weigh & measure - just as a vag birth would) except if the health of the baby or mom prohibit it. You recover in your room vs. the surgery recovery like when I had mine.

I plan to get more information as I get closer to due date. It's still up in the air which way this birth will go.

[TCMoulton]

After my January c/s, my baby girl was brought to me about 30 minutes after her birth in my recovery room and my entire family was allowed in to meet her!

[mountain mom]

I had an emergency c/s with dd (after prostagladin gel induction and pushing for 5 1/2 hours).

The surgeon was very awesome. He allowed my dh and my doula to come in to the surgical suite with us, my doula even took photos of my dd's birth. Admittedly they took some time to look at but I really appreciate them now.

My dd never left me after the birth. She came to recovery with me and when we were both stable (she much faster than I) they took a large piece of cloth and tied her to my chest.

We then were admitted into a room in the hospital and a very detailed and kind nurse stayed with us for 3 hours to help us with the nursing. This was at 1 in the morning and I was just whipped, but if it wasn't for that nurse I would more than likely have relented and supplemented, not knowing the slippery slope I was already on.

It took me about 2 1/2 years to become enpowered by dd's birth and not try to 'what if' my way out of my feelings.

She is now almost three, and we are still co-sleeping, breastfeeding and I carry her when I can (in a backpack).

I wanted to tell my story to let all the mom's reading this who are having a c-birth, that it can be a gentle birth, your baby can stay with you, just make your needs known!

I would have loved to have had a homebirth, a non-intervention birth but I did not. The road to heal from that was long, but it has to be walked.

to you all.