Originally Posted by Mamabeakley
Anger can be very scary.
You have a right to be safe and feel safe, and so does your son.
yes and yes
i don't want isaac to be scared. i don't get scared of him but i get MAD when he is out of control (when he has a freakout). he's like a child having a tantrum. stomping around being mean. i can't do or say anything right. i have to go to another part of the house or just get away from him at that point.
i had a couple of counseling sessions a year and a half ago and i talked about dh a lot. the counselor told me a few ways to talk to him about his anger. i think he would have anger problems without
the alcohol. it is just really aggravated by it. you're lucky your dh is mellow mamabeakly
i've also had the 'should i stay or should i go' talk with myself a few times. and i decide to stay and try to lay boundaries. some of them have worked.
i know he won't ever quit drinking or smoking pot for us. it will be when HE wants to. in our last big discussions a month ago (which were some of the deepest discussions we'd ever had i think) i told him i just don't want alcohol to be a PROBLEM. i don't want him to get to the point of needing treatment and needing to go 100% sober. i don't want to be a tee-totaler. i just want to see some moderation.
his dad drank a lot with his mom and they got a divorce. he remarried, didn't drink and, lo and behold, he is still married to that wife. i sort of pointed this out and asked him if he thought his parents might have stayed together if his dad had gotten a grip on it earlier. because he didn't pull that crap with the new wife. it was kind of my 'lets not repeat the pattern' hint.
so i don't know. no one is perfect. its like this personal growth thing happening for both of us over time. as long as we're both still moving forward i think its worth it
and MAN already at 4 months ds idolizes his dad. he lights up with smiles when dh gets home. i don't get near as many. i'd hate for anything to ruin that for him!!