|i think its too much of a burden for kids.|
Even if your kids don't see it, they'll know something is amiss. Trust me- you can't keep a secret that big and expect your kids not to feel that something just isn't the same about their family. Kids are little frogs, they soak up all the environmental gunk around them and it changes them forever.
Both of my bio/step parents are addicts as are my brother and all of my aunts/uncles except one. My cousins are continuing the legacy.
My family blames the fact that my dad has raped/molested most of the adult members of my family (including me) on his addiction and they enable his presence in the family. I have chosen not to any longer and severed ties with him a year ago. It was and is excruciating but he is now addicted to his recovery and living the NA culture... it is sick and sad and I wish that narcotic recovery was enough to heal him but it's not.
I'm great, I do have a lot of issues but I am intentionally inviting it all so I can heal. I'm not scared of pain, I know it's temporary and I'll be better for it on the other side. I can't let the choices of my family hold me back from living any longer.
DH is not an addict (nor does he have much of it in his family, more eating disorders ) and he knows that it would be a deal breaker for me if that ever happened. It's harsh, but I couldn't raise my kids in the home of a practicing addict. I wouldn't divorce him but we'd definitely be living in separate homes until he figured his $hit out.
I write about my own recovery from my family, my parents abuse of drugs and of me here. - It's not a drag to read, I don't think.