I am so sad

[heartmama]

I often lurk and sometimes post on a support board for parents of children with heart defects. I've been on the board for almost six years, since ds was a baby. Two children died this past week and I just read about it. I feel stunned. One little boy was 5, and I recognized his mother's name as one that has been on the board for several years. His condition had worsened and he had a transpant and it did not go well. She wrote that he asked for his hockey stick and Buzz lightyear doll to hold when he passed away, and said goodbye to all his family. I can't stop crying. When I read things like this, it takes all the air out of me. I want to take back any moment I was irritable or impatient with ds. I want to stand very still and focus on him, and never look away.

I guess I feel better writing this. It is all just so fragile and fleeting. I'm not an atheist, but at moments like these I doubt anyone could really run a show that had such sadness as this.

Heartmama

[lisamarie]

I don't even know where to begin, but I'm SO, so sorry. It is so difficult to go through a death, let alone a death of a child. It makes the questions even more difficult. My heart goes out to you and your friend. I cannot imagine the loss that she is going through. I am so thankful though that we can all come here and write and share our stories of deep loss and extreme sadness and grief. We can cry and support one another. Life, like you said, is very fragile and going through something like this, we can see that with such open eyes.

Please know in your heart that I am thinking of you and your friend and hugging you tightly.

Much Love~

Lisa

[heartmama]

Thank you Lisamarie. I did not know her personally, but it still has an effect, you know? I feel both very lucky and also angry. Ds is doing great yet reading what I did was terrifying.

You are right, it is good to be able to vent here. Writing this down is therapy in it's own way.

(((Hugs)))

Heartmama

[Arduinna]

Oh Hearmama, I'm so sorry. I wish I had some wisdom to share, but I don't.

((hugs)) to you.

[Irishmommy]

((((Heartmama))))

[JessicaS]

How very sad. I dont think you would have to know the person very well for it to affect you. On another board I go to a woman just recently had a child after many years of TTC and a few miscarriages...everyone on the board was celebrating wiht her not just those that were in the specific area she posts at.

But what a tragic thing to have to go through...I am so sad for the woman...

((((((heartmama))))))))))))))