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A pet issue... kind of sad  

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
My children begged and pleaded for hamsters after we moved and, since we were uprooting them from daily contact with animals (our collective family has a ranch), we agreed to it as long as they were taken care of well.

And the hamsters have been coddled and much loved, maybe just a little aggressively. The kids kept the cages clean and made sure they got their exercise on the little wheel.

But yesterday, I was in the kitchen canning while the children were doing their lessons in the next room. They were very quiet... a little too quiet. I heard a couple giggles, but that was it.

That's when I heard a lot of water running in the bathroom. I pounded on the door and when DD finally opened it, the sink was practically overflowing and DS was standing there holding one of the hamsters underwater!

"We're blessing Mr. Fluffy!" they said enthusiastically. I'd gotten there just in time to make sure Mr. Fluffy survived his christening, but barely. The poor little thing was shivering and coughing out water.

When I asked them why they did it, they explained that they were working on trying to raise the dead, like Jesus, and that "It didn't work on Snuffles because he hadn't been blessed."

I went running into the playroom and found Snuffles dead on the floor. They put him in their little catapult (they're very into medieval history right now) and catapulted him against the wall.

I'm just in shock. My children have never been mean to animals before and I don't think they meant to kill the hamster on purpose. At least the first one. I don't know how they ever got it into their head that they can raise the dead.

I can't even begin to think of a punishment dire enough for this. They went to bed without supper and lost TV but I just don't think they understand that dead means dead.

Blessings,

Blackbird
post #2 of 20
I'm so sorry.

I would give the hamster away or not let them near it. They don't understand the concept that animals are not toys, and it is our job as parent and pet owner to protect the animal.

I don't know if not understanding death is the primary problem (though you have a great oportunity to address it now); rather the primary issue seems to be not understanding that you can't "play" with pets (catapulting them, baptizing them, hugging them as you would a stuffed animal). Pets live their lives alongside ours; they aren't our entertainment. I'd work on that lesson, but I'd make sure the hampster didn't suffer as they learn it.

Good luck.
post #3 of 20
Yeah, I think that the only responsible answer is to get rid of the other hampster -- to a good home, of course. It is the perfect consequence because, as the pp said, they have demonstrated that they do not understand how to properly treat a pet. Other than that, I would let it go. You can't "punish" understanding and compassion into children, they need to learn it on their own.
post #4 of 20
I also don't think "punishment" is in order. It's too late to do anything about it now, except to make absolutely sure something like that never happens again. At this point, I'd say the only way to ensure it doesn't happen is to make sure it doesn't have a chance to happen. Your children are not responsible enough to be allowed to handle animals without adult supervision. I'm not saying they are mean or cruel, just not ready for that sort of responsibility yet. So, *if* your hamster survives his dunking (they are quite susceptible to upper respiratory infections, so keep him extra warm and dry for the next few days), make sure they can't get him out of his cage without you there watching over the situation. If the hamster dies, you have another chance to talk about the finality of death with your children. You may also want to address their (mis-)understanding of the religious stories they have been told. Just sit down and talk to them. Kids are really so much smarter than most adults give them credit for, it usually isn't their fault when they don't understand something.
post #5 of 20
IMO~ You can't punish the children. Putting them to bed without food is not even close of an option in my house. 7 and 4 is too young to be left unsupervised with a small pet . I also wanted to address the things they were doing from thier P.O.V They do not have the concept of understanding that it would kill a hamster if you catapoulted it against the wall, I mean they did it a hundred times with G.I.Joe and nothing happened right? And after all Mr Fluffy likes to go on rides like his big wheel right? They felt badly that th efirst one died,(although they dodn't (and prolly wouldn't) get that it did in fact die forever)and tried to make sure that it was not going to happen to the other one by blessing it. I mean, they were just doing as they have been utaught. They just don'T understand thatonly Jesus can do these things. It's like trying to explain to them as they are climbing up the fridge that YES, dear you can get hurt, now come off of there.

I think what you need to do here is go very very easy on them here and explain in truth what happened and move on. Go gently and lovingly.
post #6 of 20
Thread Starter 
Good point about leaving them alone. They weren't supposed to have them out of the cage without adult supervision, either.

We had a long talk about it at bedtime and they seemed to understand. We put Mr. Fluffy in his cage in our room so we could watch over him all night. He was wheezing very loudly all night -- my Soulmate said he never expected to see a hamster in our bedroom! -- but seems okay now.

This morning, the kids had an unusual request and it was a weird teachable moment, even in our house.

They wanted to dissect Snuffles.

I was kind of grossed out but then I remembered Yoko Ono and how she used to bring me dead birds in her mouth and I'd bury them and try to dig them up later so I could see the bones. I could totally understand how they were curious about this.

We were a lot more careful than I was with Yoko Ono's dead birds. I insisted on rubber gloves and I ripped up some cloth for face masks. Then I got the paring knife, cutting board and some quilting pins and we had a little biology lesson!

The kids were fascinated and I have to admit I was too. It wasn't as bloody as I thought it would be, either. And did you know that after rigor mortis, the body goes limp again? We moved its legs and looked at how the muscles moved and identified the heart and lungs. And also decided the reason why we didn't have baby hamsters was because we had two males, not a male and a female as we were supposed to.

I really had to laugh when my Soulmate called just as we finished and asked what we were having for dinner!

We gave Snuffles a decent burial in the backyard. I thought it was kind of sweet that we got a teachable moment out of our tragedy. Is that weird? Child-directed learning leads you down some interesting paths!

DS tried to talk me into letting him stay up for CSI tonight. I declined.

Blessings,

Blackbird
post #7 of 20
I don't think I would have let my kids dissect a pet after they catapolted him against a wall.....but to each his own....

My two year old once threw a hamster ball like a ball with the pet hamster in the ball....you can't take your eyes off of pets with kids for one second. We had lots of tears and it was very very sad. We didn't punish her, she didn't know...We had a funeral and a burial. I just couldn't dissect a pet ever though under any circumstances....it would be too sad.
post #8 of 20
I would suggest that if you are going to keep the other hamster, it be kept in an area that is frequently traffiked. That way, they can't sneak the hamster out without permission.
post #9 of 20
Small animals should never be kept in children's rooms. Pets should be for the whole family. Sure there are people who will love the pet more than others, or be more enthusiastic about the pet, but children under 8 or 9 really shouldn't be the primary caretakers (affection givers, etc) without adult supervision. Pet care is an area that parents need to lead by example, and not leave for a child to figure out.

Interesting take on dissecting the hamster. I suppose something good and educational has come out of the whole thing, but I think it would have been educational to show the kids how to lovingly say goodbye to a pet--a part of the family--without cutting it up. To each his own. I wouldn't dream of dissecting our dog when we had to put her to sleep. I don't think a hamster is much different. It was a pet, a living being who was supposed to be part of the family. We don't dissect family.

I would give the surviving hamster to a good home unless you're going to keep him somewhere in common living space.
post #10 of 20
:

I personally would have tried to place an emphasis on the idea of respect for living things...I don't think that the dissection (especially at their request!) of a family pet that they killed teaches respect for animals. I agree that they should not be punished for this unfortunate accident but I definitely don't think they should have been rewarded with a science lesson. It sort of lessens the seriousness of the incident, IMO.
I think I would avoid all "experimentation" w/ regards to animals from now on...I mean that's kind of what started this mess to begin with.
post #11 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Junebug
:

I personally would have tried to place an emphasis on the idea of respect for living things...I don't think that the dissection (especially at their request!) of a family pet that they killed teaches respect for animals. I agree that they should not be punished for this unfortunate accident but I definitely don't think they should have been rewarded with a science lesson. It sort of lessens the seriousness of the incident, IMO.
I think I would avoid all "experimentation" w/ regards to animals from now on...I mean that's kind of what started this mess to begin with.
I agree. It seems like too much of a reward for what they did,... not to mention cutting up what's supposed to be a respected family pet. It's just not something I would ever think of doing... not to say you're wrong- it's just not something I would've allowed. I love my pets way too much to cut into them- even after they have passed!
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Junebug
:

I personally would have tried to place an emphasis on the idea of respect for living things...I don't think that the dissection (especially at their request!) of a family pet that they killed teaches respect for animals. I agree that they should not be punished for this unfortunate accident but I definitely don't think they should have been rewarded with a science lesson. It sort of lessens the seriousness of the incident, IMO.
I think I would avoid all "experimentation" w/ regards to animals from now on...I mean that's kind of what started this mess to begin with.
ITA...

IMHO, I still feel uncomfortable about these activities with the family pets.... .
The catapult thing REALLY bothers me

ITA with finding any other pets in the home another home for now.
I can understand your anguish over this
post #13 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by polka123
ITA...

IMHO, I still feel uncomfortable about these activities with the family pets.... .
The catapult thing REALLY bothers me

ITA with finding any other pets in the home another home for now.
I can understand your anguish over this
Blackbird....I agree with everyone who has said that your children should not have pets b/c they are not responsible enough...and neither are you. You discected your pet! you are one sick person. Descection of a pet never ever would have entereed my mind. Ever! how could you!
You are the ring leader in this crazy family. Children who abuse animals grow up abusing people. And right now they learned from you (the grand pooba of hamster abuse) that it is okay to kill an animal.
Your claim to a biology lesson is false...this was a lesson in how to further disrespect life. You might be fooling some people all the time but you cant fool me. You are a sicko. and you should never ever be allowed to own a pet again.
And I think that a 7 year old and a 4 year old know right from wrong, as damn well so should you.

You kept saying "I don't know where they got these ideas from..." You know damn well where they got them from...they got them from you. Your teachings of christening and Jesus raising the dead and history obviously are seriuosly lacking and ineffective if they turn around and do this.

and I don't care if I get banned from useing the D word. B/c there are times when such words are needed. And this is one of those times. You are a sick person and if using the D word gets your attention then good, b/c right now I don't think that you realize the HUGE GROSS mistakes you commiting.

LIfe is sacred in all of its forms not just b/c you feel that a hampster is a lesser animal therefore you get to have your fun with its dead or living body.You make me sick. There is no excuse for the things that you have done.

And the title of your thread "kinda sad" is off the mark this is really sad... a sad reflection on you.
post #14 of 20
Ok so your saying your children killed hamster by catapulting him against a wall right? This is disturbing SICK and NOT NORMAL! Your children killed an innocent animal then tried to freaking drown another. You need to talk to someone about this type of behavior and fix it. What next the neighbors cat? This is ANIMAL ABUSE and you followed it up by dissecting the family pet. For crying out loud this is right along with the kids who attached firecrakers to puppies tails and killed them last year. First the catupult needs to be taken away , second the hamster Mr. Fluffy needs a new home for heavens sake I'll take it to ensure it lives, third your kids need a serious lesson on how to treat animals. As for a punishment it sounded fair. They needed a good wake-up call and some time to think about what they kid. I'm not trying to be harsh but they sould be in serious trouble and for a while. JMO.
post #15 of 20
This thread is really old. I don't even think the OP is on mothering anymore . . .
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamawanabe
This thread is really old. I don't even think the OP is on mothering anymore . . .
wow. it sure is old...didn't see that.
post #17 of 20
: ok I promise not to respond to any more old threads.....
post #18 of 20
Aww man! I was just getting fired up :
post #19 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bestbirths
: ok I promise not to respond to any more old threads.....
Yeah! You suck! :LOL j/k
post #20 of 20
I'm with everyone else. I am glad this is an old thread (thanks for pointing that out mammawannabe, I missed the date on the OP). I was just getting really disturbed by it. Somehow, not sure how it being old makes me feel a bit better. We have hamsters. I really found the OP so distrurbing.

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