When you & your partner disagree on HS'g ...

[merpk]

Is there anyone here that's dealt with this?

DH is currently a high school science teacher at one of NYC's "elite" science public schools. He really enjoys it, and the kids enjoy him ... the gifts and cards he gets are something we really treasure.

Anyway, point being that since he is way over-educated compared to me (his PhD to my ... well, not even close, let's put it that way) and I'm not a "teacher" ... as in certified, I guess (though occasionably certifiable ) ... so he worries about HS'g, that I'm not adequately prepared for it.

Mind you, this is the same man who went crazy one night after discovering that one of his colleagues in this "elite" science high schools was unaware that AIDS can be transmitted sexually. So much for elite, right? And yes, that was a certified teacher. So what's so great about the certification?

Back to the topic, though, have any of you handled this situation successfully, and turned DH around?

- Amy

[breathingmom]

amy, I had to convert my "intellectial" husband (who has three college degrees including a Master's). I armed myself with as much factual information as I could find. "Facts" seem to speak his language.

I found that the more I read and the more confident I became that homeschooling was the best choice for our kids, the more he responded favorably. I think the real turning point was when I talked him in to going to a curriculm fair. While we were there he saw a man that he knew professionally that he did not know was homeschooling his kids. I think he realized at that point that a lot of "normal" families homeschool.

With your husband being a teacher it may be a tougher battle. Does he have more objections other then feeling that you are not qualified?

BTW, there have been studies that show that even if the parents do not have above a high school educations that the kids still do better academically then kids in public school!! (I'm sorry but I don't have the source of that study, I wonder if anyone else here does).

I would also recommend reading "Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense" by David Guterson. He was a high school teacher and a father of a homeschooling family at the time that he wrote the book. It may deal with some of the issues that your husband would have to face by having one foot in the public school and the other foot in homeschooling.

Hope this has helped. I wish you lots of luck! Please let us know how it goes?
~Jill

[Linda in Arizona]

Gutterson's book is great! I would also recommend having him read a few things written by John Taylor Gatto, who was New York's teacher of the year. I'd start with Dumbing Us Down.

As far as you being prepared, stick with discussing Kindergarten and may be first grade. He should believe that you can handle those, and everything else is far down the road.

[hydrangea]

I agree with both those recommendations. Gatto will blow your mind!

But I was actually going to recommend he read John Holt. John Holt is credited by many as the founder of modern homeschooling. He was a teacher and an educational critic. His writing really breaks down what the problems are with the educational system and why many children learn better at home, whatever the educational level of the parent.

[merpk]

hydrangea, I just took Holt's "How Kids Learn" out of the library and have placed it strategically so that maybe he'll see it here and there. I'm reading it in skim-fashion, probably a mistake, but it's been so highly recommended I gotta read it the only way I can at this point in life ...

And Gatto is next ...

The one point we have in HS'g favor is when we did go through this the first 3 years of DS#1's life, we agreed that pre-school was acceptable (little ones learning socialization) and that elementary school (academics already) was not where we'd go. So the pre-school experience has been a mixed bag, and the socialization has been up and down, with DS coming home with more than a few ideas we wish he'd never have gotten, and already a broken heart (another thread long ago) ...

- Amy

[khrisday]

You don't have to be a PHD to homeschool- I mean come on, your hub may have the degree, but could he teach the kids how to manage a home (a skill everybody needs)? Once the kids have learned to read and use the library, you don't have to be so much of a "teacher" anymore, anyway. Once kids can read and know how to follow their interests, you will be come a facilitator and chauffeur LOL

[ekblad9]

It took me a while ( and alot of tears) to convince my dh that it was best. Finally he agreed. I don't know if he is entirely behind me on it but he isn't fighting me either. I had to leave alot of books and magazines laying around too. I tend to be very unschooling but dh requires that I show him "proof" of what the kids did that day. That can be frustrating but I do it. It's better than sending them someplace where I don't want them to be.

Good luck!

PS - My dad has is doctorite in Education and was a public school superintendant for over 30 years. He is 100% behind homeschooling. If I can convince him, anyone can be convinced!

[merpk]

ekblad, your dad & my mother are on the same wavelength. When we first started talking about HS'g I was petrified of telling my mother. She's an early childhood educator all the way, armed with master's degrees and decades of experience, and after she left the classroom she was an inspector and license-grantor of NYS daycare centers, and it was really her life. (She's the only "babysitter" we use, too ... and you can't pay for childcare like she provides) ...

ANYWAY, point being, when I tentatively forced the words out of my mouth "we're considering homeschooling," she almost jumped out of her seat, and hugged me, and was on the verge of tears of joy. And then immediately proceeded to start bringing me books on homeschooling, Web-site addresses ... to say she's supportive is beyond understatement.

So DH is a doubter and mom is a cheerleader ... talk about being in the middle ...

- Amy

[ekblad9]

YES! My dad gave me tons of websites too! My brother is also a teacher and has been nothing but supportive. It's really amazing. I didn't even tell my family that we were doing it until we had already started! I was pleasantly surprised by the support that I got!

[breathingmom]

My mom is a retired school teacher of 30 years. Luckily my brother started homeschooling first and paved the way for us. My mom is totally supportive and has even been really wonderful on days when I felt like giving up!

Amy, it sounds like your mom is wonderful! I'm glad you have her on your side!

edited to add: Wow elkblad6!! What a great story about your dad!!!

~Jill