Interesting discussion
I hadn't heard of 123 Magic until I opened this thread. I have used a counting technique with DS (1yo), though I'm not sure how it fits in with 123 Magic per se. I don't use it in a threatening way at all. There is no negative consequence for DS if he doesn't do whatever on 3, and he knows that. After reading this thread and some of the linked thread though, I'm wondering if I may be being manipulative in using counting. Here's an example of how I might count with DS. I'd love feedback on it!
If I need DS to come to me for a diaper change or something, I'll say, "Eben, will you please come to mama so I can change your pants?" Often times, he comes, but I wouldn't say that's the norm, being that he just turned 1. If he doesn't, I usually ask one more time, and if he doesn't respond then, I'll say (genuinely nicely, not in an exasperated way), "Eb, I'd appreciate if you came to me. Do you can come by yourself, or do you need my help? Try to come to mama by the count of three." Then I'll start slowly counting. 9 out of 10 times, he will come over to me, I think because not needing my help instills a sense of accomplishment in him. When he comes, I tell him thank you. When he doesn't, I say, "OK, I'll will help you," and I go to him and pick him up and carry him to the changing table (not punitively or huffy, I just matter-of-factly go and get him to speed up the process of changing him into a clean dipe). On one hand, I've loved that this works because he is enticed to respond independently without any threats and without a build-up of frustration on either of our parts. On the other hand, I wonder if it isn't manipulative because I'm using the counting to prompt him to do something *I* want him to do in an amount of time that's convenient for *me*. What do you think?
As for using 123 Magic in older children as a corrective measure, I'm not sure how I feel. I obviously haven't seen the video to gain a wholly accurate perception of it, but from what I've read here I don't think I agree with the part about not offering an explanation of the wrongdoing. To implement a correction without offering an explanation is too authoritarian for my comfort level.
My gut says that when DS is older, I'll shy away from regularly using 123 as a threatening type of corrective discipline, but I absolutely believe it is a viable option when other methods don't get the job done. I am sure there will be times when my son is beyond the point of being responsive to reason, and I'd much rather use a 123 type of thing than get frustrated and possibly lose my cool and yell.
That's just my "off the cuff" .$.02.
~Keely
) are disrespectful to the child. why is that? i'm not disrespecting my child, i'm giving him a warning (another strong word, yes!) and the chance to do the right thing. he's two, i cannot communicate with him like with an adult. why is that a bad thing in the ap-world 
