Stickers and Charts.My, er, uh, confession.

[MamaSoleil]

I've never used this approach..until this week.
I'm trying to bribe my dd into sleeping in her own bed.
I'm ashamed. I used to love sleeping with her, I still do, but it means that dh doesn't sleep with us, it also means that ds gets kicked a lot, then he wakes up crying, then she wakes up, and we're all so tired the next day.
She's 51/2yrs old. I promised her I'd buy her ANYTHING if she got 10 stickers...It's been a week, and she has two so far.

Whew. I feel so much lighter for confessing. I never thought I would stoop to bribery!

[mamaduck]

Well, considering the fact that I have bruises up and down both my thighs from being kicked over the last few months, and *nothing* I do or say is having any effect on the situation, and I'm so tired that I could cry..... I guess I don't think what you are doing is all that bad! Stickers and bribes sound much better than some of the ideas that have floated through my head in desperate hours.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

You know, it's not a first choice I would make either but I think it's an okay choice.

I don't mess with sleep (I've got severe reactions to sleep deprivation) and this, like Mamaduck mentioned, is a LOT gentler than what I'd be thinking if I needed some sleep.

I have a friend who did this same exact thing and it did help. It's not like the child slept in her bed alone from that day onward but it did help get everyone over a hump where it's becoming a more reliable thing.

Let us know how it goes!

[mclisa]

I've talked with a psychologist about the whole sticker chart thing and he was in support of them as long as the reward was appropriate. The reward shouldn't be buying something no matter the cost involved. It should be a reward in time. Child and mom are going to spend 20 minutes together playing a board game (no siblings allowed to interrupt or come along), 20 minutes at the park, 20 minutes reading together. Something special just for the 2 of you. The reward should be extra attention not something monetary.

[mamaduck]

Originally Posted by mclisa

It should be a reward in time. Child and mom are going to spend 20 minutes together playing a board game (no siblings allowed to interrupt or come along), 20 minutes at the park, 20 minutes reading together. Something special just for the 2 of you. The reward should be extra attention not something monetary.

But isn't a child entitled to time whether s/he is good or not? I would not want my child to grow up believing that I spend time with him because he earns it. I spend time with him because I love him, period.

[TiredX2]

I probably would have agreed 100% with the psychologist five years ago.

But, after reading "The Five Love Languages of Children" it seems.... unfair. . That said...

Consider yourself to be getting off cheap! :LOL DD got a desk, new sheets, quilt, AND we painted & decorated her room so she would/could spend more time there.

Honetsly, though, 2 times in a week doesn't sound like you are progressing too quickly. Something that really helped us was DH moving DD after she was asleep (with her previous permission). Once she was 5 she was usally sleeping through, so moving her before DH went to bed meant she stayed in her own bed from 11pm until 5-7am.

Good luck!

Kay