I peirced my DDs ears yesterday.... - Page 8

[mamawanabe]

delete double post, sorry

[mamawanabe]

Originally Posted by bobica

\ I know that there are really strong opinions here & appreciate a good debate any day, but the venom and anger about this seems out of proportion to the issue.

I'm wondering why. Maybe because for many of us this seems such a clear-cut issue that it is easy and nice to get on a high horse for once (so many parenting issues are anything but clear-cut)?

Just weird. Santa threads are another that turn mean quickly, all out of proportion with the issue at hand . . .

[Sofiamomma]

I agree that opinions are just fine and if yours makes me think about mine, then that's a good thing. It's the vitriol we could do without. That just brings my bile up and then I can certainly not think.

Congratulations on your little princess, Spicey Momma!

Burritomama, I'm with Frances Hodgson Burrett (sp?) on the princess thing. Every little girl is one.

[BusyMommy]

Santa threads are another that turn mean quickly,

Yeah, isn't it funny. I mean, sorta, in a way
D*mn, where's that AP checklist? I think we fall off at Christmas time.

[Seasons]

Princess discussion deleted and moved to its own thread per Burritomama.

[burritomama]

PSSST: princess discussion now continuing in its own thread in Parenting Issues.

Carry on.

[party_of_seven]

Well, I took the advice here and read up on the whole piercing gun/ mall kiosk thing and all I can say is :Puke

I hope that everyone else will read up on it as well. My oldest had hers pierced at her request about 2 months ago...at the mall. :Puke I never thought much about it. I have had mine done there twice with never a problem. None of my friends or family has ever had a problem either, but none of my kids will ever be pierced by "the gun" :Puke

My 3yo is dying for hers to be done, but I already told her that she needs to wait until she is older so she can be better understand what's involved. When its time we will be going to a licensed piercing studio and having it done with a disposable piercing needle. (yes, its legal in my state for parents to consent for children to be pierced at a tattoo/piercing studio...I already checked that out!)

Yikes people...do some reading!

"Ban the gun!!!"

:Puke

[girlndocs]

Originally Posted by meowee

sometime they fill with puss even though not infected. Like a pimple. I would have to open them up myself with a needle but she doesn't want me to. Probably she'll want to when she's older.

Meowee, look up my last post and click the link for "hypertrophic scarring". This is not something it's wise to just basically ignore. You need to have, at the very least, a licensed, experienced, *proper* piercer take a look at it, and if you really must leave the hole there, you need to replace the stud with some good-quality piercing jewelry so the scarring can heal up properly.

I agree with Wemoon that this is a PERFECT example of why it's not wise to pierce tiny ones for your own pleasure.

[annh]

Ok being new here, and really not considering myself "crunchy" at all. ( I dont even think i know what that means, LOL)
My daughter will be 3 very soon and all the baby girls in my family have always had their ears done as a baby. My daughter did not and she will not until she can go and get it done herself.
I do not want her having her ears done so that when she is 14 she can just skip the ears and go straight to the belly button or tongue. I want her to feel the pain of having her ears done (while i hope it hurts horribly, lol) and REMEMBER IT so that she will not think of getting anything else done.

Just my freaky way of looking at it i guess, :LOL

[Rainbow]

WRT Culture- I was raised to beleive that peircing my daughter's ear was the only thing to do, by the time she is 3 months old at the latest.

Culture is an interesting thing. I embrace my varied culture. But don't "shame on me" for not embracing something I find morally wrong about my culture. Circumcision is a cultural tradition, and many stand up against the continuing of it, even in the name of culture. I don't find ear piercing as damaging or as permanent. I'm not removing part of her body- I realize it isn't a perfect analogy. But IMO culture is no excuse *IF* you believe it is morally wrong.
That said, I won't push my morals on you- I just really disliked the "shame on you" comment if I decide to state that I find it morally wrong. *I* do not think culture is a valid reason to continue doing something I find wrong. No shame on me for that, none at all.

[wasabi]

I got my ears pierced for my 8th birthday. I did take care of them reasonably well for a while but then I guess I forgot because at one point the skin started growing over one of my earrings. Fortunately there were no long lasting side effects. My ears do tend to be tender especially after wearing certain kinds of earrings and really I rarely wear them. I do still have holes though despite going years without anything in them. My DH had one hole pierced when he was in a very young teen and we tried it out one day after years of him not wearing anything in it and were able to get a stud in no problem so for many people it is permanent. My younger sister was allowed to have hers pierced when she was about six. I don't know if she and my mom had agreed that she'd take care of them but she did not. They became infected numberous times and eventually they took them out and they did close up. She did eventually have them repierced.

For my DD I will not be piercing her ears until she can ask for it and I feel she is responsible enough to care for them. I can't put an age to it at this point but I know that two is not it. I'm just not going to make any changes to her body or cause her pain with no purpose.

[Calm]

I had a question here in the first few pages that I guess is lost now in the novel of a response. I think it is harsh to pierce belly buttons, noses or ears on a child, BUT...

ITA that opinions need not be so harsh. Another thing is that when you give an opinion, particularly when it is asked for - IT IS NOT JUDGEMENT OF A PERSON UNLESS IT IS STATED. To say "I think that is disgusting" for example is NOT saying "I think YOU are disgusting". I would like to know where this term judgement is coming from, it is thrown around a lot. It may be judgement of an action, yes. But until one is free of judgement, one cannot call out someone else for judgement.

Just stick to the point.

[nikirj]

You do know that infection can happen even if the ears are properly cared for, right? I've noticed some of you saying 'she didn't take care of it, it got infected...' and things of that nature, but this isn't necessarily all there is to it. I got second holes put in when I was 18 (an attempt to remedy the ugly way the childhood ones 'grew in') and cared for them 'religiously' and 100% properly, but they became horridly infected, draining large amounts of fluid and so sore that I couldn't even move my head without them throbbing like mad. I actually had to take medication for it - and even as a teenager, I was aware that you don't want to take medication you can avoid, so it was the only medication I took in a 4-year span (from 16-20). It was horrid. I can't imagine visiting that on a child for nothing better than aesthetics. Remember, I cared for them properly - so this doesn't insure proper healing. Eventually I lasted it out. I still have those holes and although they did remedy the imbalanced look to my ears, I simply choose not to wear earrings at all now (even though both sets of holes are quite visible).

[girlndocs]

I was at WIC today & there was a tiny baby there with its ears pierced, and the thought occurred to me:

When someone places a hole in a newborn-sized earlobe, how can they be sure it will end up in the "right" place on an adult-sized earlobe?

Nikirj, is that the kind of thing you were talking about with your own piercings?

[mountain]

Originally Posted by wemoon

Hey MOUNTAIN.... You naughty girl, your judging again Can we go through the whole ordeal again... oh wait just check out my sig!

Whew...what a relief that it's already out there! Now will you follow me around the boards, posting right after every thread I post on? Just so people don't think I'm judgemental for judging the judgementalism of the judgtificationalistic judgement. I would hate to be misinterpreted, or worse yet, judged.

I love that Bible thing people try to throw at you, where let he who is without sin, whatever...it's always the last resort when your logic is not thought out. It says, "no one say anything that I don't like" --which is, of course, the beginning of saying "I refuse to consider other opinions---you're judgemental"

Poetmama, if you're still seething out there somewhere,
someday, I hope that you will find your peace.

I'm off to bleach my infants hair blonde. Sure the chemicals burn her, but they'll go away. Maybe I'll nurse her while I do it. Yeah, that's it. She looks like such a princess that way.

...stirring the pot....cackle cackle cackle

[wemoon]

: I'll follow you and judge you on every post, k?

See, I just don't get this thread really. The OP asked for opinions, and all of us participating gave opinions. Why would one ask for opinions if they really arn't wanted? honestly see no venom and anger here. I see people that have a hard core belief system to why or why they wouldn't do this. It isn't as simple as like painting your kids' fingernails, it is a permanent body alteration (even if they do close in, there are still scars, I have 3 scars in my ears, one on my lip and two on my belly button. If I took out my nose piercing there would be a scar later on). It is a known fact that shoving needles through a persons body causes pain. People have strong feelings about pain.

So either people need to grow their skin a little thicker and join in on the debate, or keep their thin skin and just walk away. Simple as that.

[annakiss]

Please let us keep the venom and hostility out of our posts. This is a heated issue. Respecting one another's opinions is essential to getting one's point across.

[Sofiamomma]

No, it's not that simple. There other options beyond getting thick skin or walking away. I'll throw another one out there besides the "judge not, lest ye be judged", or "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." It's all a little skewed anyway, but what about "You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar?"

I'm not sure why you are not seeing venom or anger, but it is blatantly here and I think that there better ways of expressing opinions and relating to each other.

I don't get my girls' ears pierced as babies, but I chose not to go into that, because this mom had already done it, obviously was of two minds about it, and was asking if other "crunchy" moms had their dds ears pierced. I chose to answer that. She has plenty of time to decide what she will do next time. She doesn't even have another girl at this point. If you'd like her to reconsider what she will do next time I think you'd get a lot further with "I" statements and facts, kwim? (and of course many people have done just that, I'm just talking to the ones who've been rather rude and mean)

[kaimama]

I have two dds, I did not and would not have their ears pierced until they asked for it and understood the consequences. My oldest started asking at about 7 and for her 8th birthday I took her to get them pierced and we made a date out of it. I hope she'll look back on it fondly when she's older, it was a big deal for me.

[Britishmum]

Like some others, I see strong feelings here but do not interpret it as venom.

What interests me is what would happen if someone posted on gentle discipline and talked of inflicting pain on their child via spanking, maybe because culturally they think it right.

Actually, I know what would happen, it would be against the mdc rules. I've seen posts where poeple are reminded of this and told to refrain from doing so.

If putting a needle in your child's body causes pain, I cannot help but see a contradiction when told that here we should not judge the act of piercing an infant as being wrong, but should instead appreciate and respect other people's point of view.

If we are to appreciate the point of view that sticking needles in children for cosmetic purposes is valid, then surely so is spanking? Or is it OK to just spank a child once, to make them 'mind' you? Or actually, twice, equal to once for each ear?

I am honestly asking this question from sheer confusion about mdc values. I do not see how anyone can expect to come here and get support for hurting a child. There seems to be an enormous double standard here.