I peirced my DDs ears yesterday.... - Page 2

[Spicey Momma]

it isn't permanent......

I had no idea this was such a touchy subject. Next time I do something mainstream to my kids I am keeping my mouth shut :X

[Fleurette]

Haven't done it, but almost wish I'd had when she was an itty bitty baby. Would have been easier to care for and in my cultural background it's expected and most baby girls get their ears pierced and then wear the gold earrings their nonnas give them. Dd has the earrings her nonnna gave her, but at almost 2.5 years, no holes yet. I might do them soon, but I haven't decided. It's just been a royal pain to get somewhere to get them done.

[mermommy]

The responses here have nothing to do with it beaing " mainstream" and everything to do with it being a body modification that the child did not ask for and could not stop you from making. I know plenty of " mainstream" parents who would be just as appalled by your decision.

[NiteNicole]

I have serious issues with the idea of decorating a little girl by poking holes in her and filling them with symbols of wealth. I can't undertand how people who will argue to the death for no circ will then happily punch holes in their daughters. And I think it's wrong to decorate another person's body BY PIERCING HOLES IN THEM without their informed concent.

In my family, children can have piercings when they are old enough to pay for (and I don't mean at some place in the mall) and care for their own piercings.

[Ceinwen]

This is one of those things that I don't feel very strongly about. I haven't had my dd's ears done (she's 21 months) and will wait until she asks. But if she's three and she asks - that's fine with me.

I think there's alot worse things people do to/with their children than getting their ears pierced. It's not exactly a "life altering decision". JMHO.

[elephantheart]

I have 3 little girls, soon to be four. I cringe when I see little babies getting their ears pierced. All the screaming and crying. Torture for beauty? Not a lesson I want my daughters to come away with. It's one thing to choose it for yourself, to be able to weigh the consequences and decide if it's worth it for you. It's another thing to have no say in the matter, and to not even be old enough to care about their being there or enjoy the benefits of "beauty" as an older girl could do. My oldest daughter is 4 and has asked a few times to wear earrings. When I tell her she can have them but that piercing involves pain, she decides to wait until she's a bit older. I want my daughter to know I respect her enough to allow her to make a decision like this that is in no way necessary.
I agree that it's sad enough when a child has to go through something they can't understand for medical reasons. For pure aesthetics, I would not do it.

[scrapadoozer]

I would not be comfortable with piercing my daughter's ears for the simple reason that they are her ears and I think she should decide what she wants to do with them.

[Heavenly]

"it isn't permanent" Uh yeah it is. You poked holes in your daughters baby earlobes just because you think it looks cute. Honestly I say shame on people who do that. It IS permanent. I had mine done very young and now I hate earrings. I haven't worn them for 5.5 years and they are still very visible. You can see the hole scars and IMO it looks dumb, like I forgot to wear my earrings or something. Plus they still get infected sometimes for no reason. Why should I (or any girl/woman) have to walk around with scars on our ears so our mothers can ooh and aah over us. Geesh, buy a pretty dress or something. And also you asked opinions, if you wanted pats on the back then you should have said so.

[Sandrine]

I wanted to get dd1 ear pierce but her ears didn't fall so that the gun would fit. That said now at 22mths, i'm too worried that she'll play with them. I'm gonna wait until she is old enough to decide or maybe do a ritual for when she becomes a woman. Make it a whole day of fun for us. Shopping, get her ears pieced, a fanxy lunch, etc...

Now with dd2, I'm going to wait too. I dont find it fair that she could get her ears done and not dd1. I may do with her the same as with dd1 and make it a ritual of womanhood.

My mom and sil are both not understanding why I'm not doing it. They would have done it as soon as they could have. Even if the child was 1yr or older.

[Evergreen]

I'm sorry if you're feeling attacked. I know that isn't what you bargained for when you posted.

I am glad your daughter hasn't tried to pull them out, and hopefully she will leave them alone. Mine wouldn't have kept her hands off of them at that age.

I can't justify the pain, plus I don't think little children look cute with earings. Not that they make the child look ugly, but it is a similar feeling as when I see little girls in full faces of makeup.

[Spicey Momma]

Honestly I didn't know everyone here would be so cold about it. When it comes down to it, she is my duaghter, I love, and only want the best for her. I would never do anything that would really hurt her. I remember having my ears peirced, and it wasn't bad.

I feel like everyone is looking down at me for doing this. DD is fine, and is hasn't cried or pulled at her ears once. She doesn't mind me cleaning them either. I have more trouble combing her hair in the morning than I did peircing her ears!

I have really come to love MDC has a community and have learned lots here. Before coming here I was pretty mainstream. However noone has the right to judge me. Noone has the right to say I have hurt my child, when I did not.

The only pain I have from this experience is the anxiety this thread has caused

[fayking]

i think children should have piercings when they are able to consent and look after them. (about 10 or so) i had my ears pierced when i was eight and i didnt turn them enough, the butterfly back of one of the studs grew over and i had to have it cut out at the ER. it was a frightening experience.
i now have a fair few piercings...nose,stretched ears, lip but i had these done at a proffesional piercing shop not at a mall. you should never have your body pierced with a gun only a needle. a gun shoots blunt metal thru your body which can cause lasting damage.
piercings need to be cared for properly and do leave lasting marks...

[Heavenly]

"The only pain I have from this experience is the anxiety this thread has caused" We weren't talking about YOUR pain. I'm glad your daughter isn't having a problem with them. My point is its not YOUR decision to make. Its her body.

[mmace]

My oldest had her ears pierced three months before her fourth birthday. She was about to be the flower girl in my friends wedding, and she wanted pierced ears in the worst way. She had been asking for them for probably six months at that point. I told her over and over again that it would hurt to have them done, but she was adament about wanting them. She has loved them ever since, and we have never had any problem with them.

At the end of this month she will be turning eleven (where did the years go?!) and the only thing she has asked for is to have her ears pierced a second time. So, we are going to make a big day out of it. She turns eleven on the 30th (a Saturday) and we will go to lunch, do a little shopping, and get her ears pierced. Just the two of us.

[party_of_seven]

Spicey, I'm sorry that you feel attacked, but you did ask for opinions.

I am opposed to it for the same reasons that all of the other posters listed. My 6 year old decided that she wanted her ears pierced about 2 months ago. I fully informed her about what it would entail...even exactly what the procedure would be like. I told her that it would hurt, but it wouldn't last long. I also told her what the aftercare involved. She wavered for a little while, and it took her a few weeks to finally decide that she really wanted it. I took her to the mall and helped her pick a nice starter set. She sat in the chair like a really big kid and took it like a champ(but you could tell it hurt her a little) there were no tears involved, and I didn't hold her down. I even gave her the chance at the last minute to change her mind but she insisted on doing it. She was SO proud of herself. I took her out to dinner when we were done. It was really nice. She managed all of the aftercare herself, and she even saved her allowance and bought herself a pair of $25 ear rings.


IMHO, I think that letting the child make an informed decision is many times better than holding them down and forcing it on them. My mom forced me to have mine pierced twice, and I rarely wear any ear rings now...it was not a nice experience.

I'm sure my dd will look back and remember the wonderful time we had when I took her to get her ears pierced.

My 3yo dd is dying to have her's done, but I won't let her yet. She cannot comprehend that it will hurt a little, and I'm not "restraining" my child for an unnecessary procedure like that. :

Always listen to your heart!!!

[Anguschick1]

Note to would-be-piercing mamas:

The guns that they use at the mall CANNOT BE STERILIZED! That in and of itself would be enough to convince me not to pierce (if I did make the decision to alter my child's body w/out discussing it w/them first.) Go to a reputable piercer who will use sterilized/1 use needles & supplies.

I would allow my children to get their ears pierced as a rite of passage around 13-14 or start of menarche for any daughters.

[waterproofmascara]

Geesh... they're just earrings.
In the larger scheme of things, does it really matter if the mom pierced the ears without the permission of a toddler? I mean, if the daughter grows up to hate her mom simply because she pierced her ears without written permission, then that family has more serious problems than just ear piercing.
And are earrings really life altering for a toddler? Because in 2 months, my two year old is getting hers done as a 3rd birthday present that she asked for. Maybe I should record her asking me to have them pierced for future proof that I did it with her permission.

[stayinghome]

Natasha- Oh please don't feel bad about the posts. I agree that you brought it up by starting the post. But like I said before, she is your daughter and you made the choice that you feel comfortable with. I formula fed my first born and I'm sure if I started a post about that I'd get some differing viewpoints. You are entitled to your own opinion here, even if it does differ from a lot of views here.

[Sofiamomma]

{{{{{{{{{{{Spicey Momma}}}}}}}}}}}

Hey, don't worry about it. You are right, she's your daughter and you have to do what is right for you and your family. You did ask how people felt and they are telling you. Don't take it personally. People are opionnated. Some of them are just a little more, um, "colorful", not to mention *forceful* in expressing them. Personally, I would find it inappropriate to say things like appalling and shameful, even if it is something I feel strongly about, such as breastfeeding, natural childbirth, or circumcision. I used to say things like "genital mutilation", but it just puts people off. It doesn't convince anybody of the validity of my position, kwim? I think it is important to remember we can never be 100% sure where the other person is coming from. No judgement until walking a mile in there shoes, etc. Not that I always remember to do that. :

Anyway, you wanted to know if other crunchy moms had had their dd's ears pierced. Yes, I have. She was about three and a half and it was to celebrate her weaning from the breast. It was something she wanted to do, she understood there would be pain involved and that they would need to be cared for. She did great, just winced a little, no tears. It is a good memory for her. A rite of passage. I still help her care for them and she has always done just fine with them. I had mine done at age five. I went with my mom, who's own parents had forbidden it, and she wanted me to have them if I wanted them. I don't wear them much anymore, mostly due to motherhood, but I like having the option.

[kate-astrophe]

My dd (24 months) is fascinated with earrings. She's always trying to put mine on and she puts tiny stickers on her ears when she gets the chance. She's a very girly girl. So, I don't expect to hold off on ear peircing for very long. I know she'll love having them.

I want her to be able understand a few things first: one, that it will hurt. and two, that they will need special care for a little while. I plan on doing this care myself. One of the reasons I wouldn't mind her being on the young side when she gets her ears peirced is so I can make sure they get the care they need and they heal properly. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the care to her until she is much much older, like nine or ten. And I don't think she'll like waiting that long.

ETA:


(((spiceymomma))) Don't let 'em get you down. Equating ear pericing with circumcision is ridiculous. You are not mutilating your daughter at anywhere near that level. Ear peircing doesn't remove any tissue, doesn't impede any function, just adds a place to put some decoration if you should so choose. I don't know about you, but I have to restrain my child just to change her diaper sometimes. Does that make diaper changing wrong? No, but I bet there's some people on this site who would argue that it does.

Choosing not to peirce your daughter's (or son's) ears because of ethical reasons is fine. I'm glad you've come to that conclusion. But really, the level of condescension and judgement onthis thread is uncalled for. It's just ear peircing! Body modification has been a part of human culture for eons! Compared to some of the things that tribal cultures do this is NOTHING!

I like the idea of using ear peircing as a weaning gift. That's probably what I'll do with dd, because it will fall in about the same time-frame.

-Kate