Originally Posted by Diane~Alena
I guess what I am trying to say, trying and failing, every example I use gets attacked missing the point behind it. I have three girls all have peircings, my husband and I have them and so do all our freinds and all the kids growing up with my girls. I did it for my girls because I found it beautiful. My girls didn't cry nor did the peircings get infected. I know if they chose later to take them out they can. I however and pretty sure that my kids will follow it up with more just like the rest of us, they are already voicing that desire. I don't feel my children need these earings to be accepted but they are part of our little culture and I want my children to be part of that. I do not like hearing the example of this being like circumcising a boy. My daughters ear lobes are not cut off, this doesn't effect her sexual enjoyment later in life(please god don't freak out and quote what you read about sex and circumstion I beg you to see what I mean by this example). I again speak of diversity and ask that other respect the actions of other mothers. We all make different choices for different reasons. I respect that this isn't for some mothers and I have read and try to respect their reasons as to why I only ask for the same in return.
I will just say Amen to all of your posts and thank you for keeping up the pro-postings while i took a day off.
you underdstand and act upon something that is absoultely built-in to your parental instincts, and i mean instincts, not learned behavior. you said it yourself, all cultures want beautify their babies, the essence of culture is tribal self-idenification from birth
-- parents are the decision makers of the child and there is nothing wrong with making choices for your child until he is grown up. sure many moms wait until their child can ask which is sometimes as early as 4 or 5, but can you tell me that child is capable of complete informed consent and adult decision making? no, they just want to wear jewelry. it's okay not to like jewelry, it's okay for not be girly, but adorning our families with jewelry has been part of us for thousands of years, it separates us from the animal kingdom.
if a child grows up to reject and idea a parent has "imposed" upon thenm thn that is an importnat part of maturity indeed to choose your own way, whether it be religion (please how many people do you know rejected the religion they were raised with?-TONS) or way of dress or earrings. we have swung so far to the other way about don't "body integrity" and freedom of choice, that we hardly give anything for our children to turn away from. you are also right about, when we choose to not vax we chose to subject our child to the possibility of getting a illness, if it's their body there choice, i don't wait to see if my child wants to breastfeed and co-sleep until they get older.....others may no see those as the same the decisions because they involve health and ear piercing is "un-neccessary" but again we feel the need to make purely spiritual, faith or beauty based decisions in the midst of these logical, medical ones, to have control of our bodies and of pain--and a baby is part of the family unit until it's grows up and can make thier own informed desicions for themselves and their own children . IT'S ANCIENT, not scary.
Diane~Alena--have you ever read any Joseph Campbell? You'd like him!
ps i'd like to add that one of the reasons it think the its-her-choice thing overblown is that i challenge you to find a support group for adult women that were pierced at birth without consent! circ on the other hand....now that is a therapy issue.
pss BUT it is also a beautiful thing to have ear piercing to be a rite of passage when she is older and have mom or grandma bring her in on a birthday or other milstone. it is so importnat to create rituals like those, and that is one reason i beleive the body mod industry has had so much success, it has provided a context and opportunity for people to create altering rituals from themselves in a culture that lacks clear rites of passage. my DH pierces moms and daughters all the time (navels, noses and ear cartilage...) when the daughter is 14 or so. so that's okay too. but i also think it's okay to pierce babies ears, i just want to people to know that it's importnat to create a ritual for your family. i can say for sure if you felt bad about doing it and did it anyway it would boogie the whole procedure and really be terrible for the child. when we did our daughters ears in our bedroom over looking the moutains, while rocking and singing and smiling, it was sacred and beautiful, and they knew the difference. babies are intelligent and sensitive, and receptive and they absolutely know that our intent was pure and the pain was different (in the case of our 2nd) from the iv morphine, blood tranfusion and blood draws that she was subjected to in the NICU. LOVE surrounded it, and babies can feel that. A situation is what you impose in it, if you feel badly about it then don't do it b/c it will be bad.
where is that soapbox icon?