I peirced my DDs ears yesterday.... - Page 4

[Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by Poetmama

To charge that circumsision is akin to ear piercing is ridiculous. Once my ds's foreskin is gone, it's gone forever. If my dd chooses to take her earings out, she just never has to put them back in if she doesn't want them.

The end result isn't the point, IMO. It's the unnecessary assault to the child's body and unnecessary risk-taking that goes with it. It sends a message from an early age that their body is not their own and that socially affirmed ornamentation is more important than their own bodily integrity.

I'm not saying that early ear-piercing is going to ruin a little girl, but it's just one more message that her body is not her own. The world is rife with them - why deliver such an unnecessary one yourself? I know. Culture. In my opinion, that's just not a good enough reason.

I don't judge those whose cultures are different than mine (i.e.: circumcision). I am no more or less superior because my customs are different than yours. I am just different and that is what makes this a wonderful world.

I'm sure that there are many positive differences between us and I agree that those do, indeed, make the world a more interesting and colorful place. Doing things to your child's body that can't positively be undone and have no purpose aside from decoration is not a positive difference. There's nothing wonderful about it. Sorry, just can't agree with you there.

[Mamm2]

If I ever have a daughter, I would not pierce her ears as a baby/toddler. IMHO, it is an unncessary procedure that carries risks. It is purely minor cosmetic surgery. Besides, as babies, I would be worried it could become a choking hazard.


My mom had my ears pierced and I hate earringings. I wish she would have given me the opportunity to choose.

I would wait until after she is 7 years old. I would make it a reward for something, and make it a special day.

[iris0110]

I had my ears peirced at five. My grandma and great Aunt took me shopping and decided to get it done. I wanted earing like theirs. Then my brother and I were restling and one got pulled out and healed shut so I had to have it done again. I didn't mind and no body made me do it. I used to love wearing different earings every day. When I went to my first day of highschool my parents took me to get my cartlidge peirced. I had wanted it done so badly. It took three years for them to heal properly, but I love them. I have had a tone of body peircings in my life too, started when i was 15. I also have a bunch of tattoos. My mom asks what I will do when ds asks to get peircings. I said I will take him to have them done if he is old enough to take care of them. If he asked for his ears peirced I would do it now because they are easier to care for, but tatts have to wait until he is 18 because you can't just get rid of them.

I don't see any problem with peircing a babies ears if that is what you want to do. My mom said she didn't do mine because she was worried about infection when I was tiny. I probably wouldn't do it, but if it is something cultural or what ever I would say go for it. It really isn't permanent. If I decided today that I wanted to take my earing out, even after all these years, I could and they would be pretty much gone. There is a big difference between ear peircings and circumcision. But that is just this Mammas opinion.

eta: I like the idea of ear peircings being a comeing of age thing as well. So personally I will probably wait until that time and do it as a special ritual. Like if I have a daughter I will wait till her first menses and take her to get her ears peirced and give her special moonstone earings. Kwim? But that is just my personal thing and I could change my mind at any time. LOL

[girlndocs]

With all the people happily repeating that it "really isn't permanent" I wanted to restate that um, yes, every piercing carries some risk of complications with permanent results, and although you can do some things to minimize the risk of those complications, you can't guarantee they're prevented, or predict who they'll happen to.

I certainly wouldn't want to take the risk of my baby's ears developing keloids, hypertrophic scarring, rejection, allergy, nickel reaction, abscess, furuncle, or a torn lobe.

[Poetmama]

I'm tired; the kids have had me going all day. I will try to get to each point, but will probably have to type more tomorrow...

I tend to think that this is a rather minimal choice that I make regarding my dd in the larger context of all the choices in her life with me. I think that the choices I make in raising her to be strong and loved are far more earth shattering than if she has two studs. I've chosen her religion, I've chosen her clothing, and I’ve chosen what she eats for dinner. Her life is going to be a lot of choices that I as a parent will make. I choose not to let her cry herself to sleep, I've chosen to let her breastfeed as long as she wants, and I’ve chosen to put her in cloth diapers. Hopefully these choices will make her a better person. But the choice to stud her ears is very small in the long run.

I understand that the hole in my dd's ear is going to be there forever, I also know as someone who doesn't wear my jewelry 24-7, the hole is minimal.

I can also say with experience, as someone who has had holes in her ears as long as I can remember, I have never believed my body wasn't my own. I've never connected the two since my parents didn't raise me to think that way. The two studs in my ears that my parents chose to give me didn't equate bondage and being subservient with me. They were just some jewelry. I also received a ring at two that I still have. My dd was about six weeks old when I bought her a bracelet. Really, I don't see this as a way of keeping her down or sending her the message that she is a "little woman." I don't plan on teaching her that her adornments (or lack there of) are what make her a worthy person.

I'm tired now. Goodnight.

[Aura_Kitten]

Just as if I had had boys and didn't feel I had the right to circumsise them without their consent, I do not feel i have the right to pierce my girls' ears without their consent.

i was going to say this exact same thing.

i left my son intact; i feel i should afford my daughter the same respect.

sure, she would look some degree of cute, but she's already quite lovely ~ she's already beautiful in fact, and perfect just the way she was born.

and ultimately, she is not my doll. she is not a toy. she is a little thinking, feeling person, and just because she cannot communicate as efficiently as an adult does not mean i shouldn't afford her as much respect as one.

[Twindividual]

I didn't read all of the replies so maybe this has already been brought up but as an adult (30 years old) I so wish I never had my ears pierced. My mom let me do it at age 8. It hurt and now I have these ugly holes in my ears! I would love to have "virgin ears" perfect and unadulterated. When I see an adult woman with natural ears it looks beautiful to me.

Anna

[Lady Madonna]

I first had my ears pierced when I was 5. I didn't take care of the piercings and they became infected, so we removed the earrings and let the holes close. They were re-done when I was 7, then I had second piercings in both ears at 13, a third in my left ear at 18, and a cartilidge piercing in my left ear at 29. Now, I usually only wear earrings in the first piercings. Because I was stupid, I had the cartilige piercing done with a gun at the mall (!) and it never healed right, so I can't wear anything there.

That said, I will not pierce my daughter's ears until she is old enough to understand the choice and take care of them. It's her body, so it's her choice, and one I don't think I have any right to make for her. And I will never, ever let anyone do a piercing on her with one of those guns. And if I had to hold her still to have it done, it wouldn't be happening, period.

[Aura_Kitten]

oh yeah, one more thing... if anybody is getting pierced in this home, it's going to be me! (( i've been wanting to re-do my piercings that closed up while i was pregnant, and get some new ones, for months!! ))

[darsmama]

This must be a truly, HOT HOT HOT topic.

My two cents:
I will not be getting Darlene's ears pierced because of a girl I knew in school. I wanted my ears pierced soooo bad (I was 10), and she was the only other girl in my class w/o pierced ears. The subject came up one day and I asked her how come she didn't have her ears pierced. She didn't want them! I couldn't believe it. She said "My ears are perfect the way they are. I think earrings would be ugly on me."
I got my ears pierced at 11 (followed by a few other piercings through the teen years) and I never have regretted making the choice. I always, always wanted pierced ears (from the time I was 3 is as early as I can remember) but my mom wouldn't let me get them.
I got to make the choice, and my school friend she got to make a choice. Now as a mom, I get to make a choice with when to pierce my daughters ears. I'm going to wait-just in case she is like my school friend and is that 'odd ball' who dosen't WANT pierced ears.
I would never look at another mother though, and tell her she can't make that choice for HER OWN child.

IMO: I think alot of other Mama's came off way too harsh on Spiceymama. WAY TOO HARSH.
If you wouldn't take that tone with a complete stranger on the street who asked you about your opinion, why would you do it online?
Disagreeing and telling someone that their actions were whacked compared to what you chose is fine, its a free world.
BUT: There is a real person on the other end of the pc..I really wish people would keep that in mind. It seems like the 'love' and 'concern' you show for children, would extend up unto the parent who, ALSO is a person with feelings and thoughts... Sorry, hope I didn't make anyone mad.

[Justice2]

My daughter was 7 when she got her ears pierced. I would not have done it as a baby, despite EVERYONE telling me that I should do it.

My dh and I sat in Wal-Mart one day and watched a woman force her screaming 2 yro get her ears done. My soul cried at what that tiny little girl was going through. When they were through, the mom took the little girl to another part of the store. Well, a few minutes later, she came back and the little girl started screaming all over again as soon as they got near the ear piercing seat. That was a completely needless trama. It was my opinion that the clerk who did the piercing should have just told the parents no. That poor little girl.

I think with my next dd (if we are so blessed) that I will wait until she starts her first period. Sorta like a rite of passage.

[Spicey Momma]

Originally Posted by KatienDwayne

I would never look at another mother though, and tell her she can't make that choice for HER OWN child.

IMO: I think alot of other Mama's came off way too harsh on Spiceymama. WAY TOO HARSH.
If you wouldn't take that tone with a complete stranger on the street who asked you about your opinion, why would you do it online?
Disagreeing and telling someone that their actions were whacked compared to what you chose is fine, its a free world.
BUT: There is a real person on the other end of the pc..I really wish people would keep that in mind. It seems like the 'love' and 'concern' you show for children, would extend up unto the parent who, ALSO is a person with feelings and thoughts... Sorry, hope I didn't make anyone mad.

I have been quiet on this thread for awhile. Sitting here reading and my eyes out. I can't believe some of you are so cruel. So judgemental. I am not perfect, but I truely believe "LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN, CAST THE FIRST STONE".

I really though MDC was a loving, "natural" community. Everyone here has been so helpful in the past. But when there's a "HOT" issue noone cares about the momma's feelings on the other end. It's like everyone here is calling me abusive and saying that I have taken away my daughters rights to make her own choices, mutalating her body. That isn't the case at all. But you refuse to see that. Ear peircing is in NO WAY equal to circumcision. AND BTW - to throw a little gasoline on the fire - MY SON IS CIRC'D!!!!! That was done for RELIGOUS reseans, ones that my husband and I both agree upon, and are NONE of your business. So let's no turn this into a circ thread .

[Spicey Momma]

I also wanted to add, thank you to the mommas that haven't been harsh. Thanks to the mommas that have stood up for me. Thanks to the mommas that have said "it's no big deal".

[wemoon]

SpiceyMomma, I'm just wondering when you started this thread, what were you looking for? You did ask for opinions, and as far as I can tell only a couple posters overstepped the line and did attack your character. There is a report button in the lower left side of the screen where you can report a post to a moderator.

Those that are giving their opinions based on their expirences are in no way attacking you. You asked for opinions, and even made mention to the fact that you are not sure if you did the right thing. You have been here for awhile, it seems like one who has been around the boards would realize that causing any pain to our children, no matter what the end result is, is not going to be accepted.

If you feel strongly in you decision to do this, then debate back about it.

[MPJJJ]

Spicy Momma, I don't agree with you at all. You put your little girl through totally unnecessary pain. Did you ever even think about the risks? My Mom pierced my ears when I was a baby, and I got them caught in my blankets one night. Fortunately she rescued me before they tore my earlobe in half. And for some reason, even though I haven't worn them in years, my holes get infected constantly. I am forever having to squeeze very painful pimples out of my lobes, no matter what I use to clean them and prevent infection. I wish, wish, wish my Mom had never pierced my ears. It was NOT her decision to make. What's worse is that as it happened, I peed all down my dad's back. (I was sitting on his shoulders.) Imagine the painful shock that would make a potty trained girl lose control and pee. How horrible. I will never understand why "caring" and "compassionate" mothers choose to put their unsuspecting babies through the pain and risks involved in a cosmetic procedure. They make stickons and clipons for a REASON!!!! Why the hell dont these people use them if they want to make their DDs "cuter"?

[whimsy]

I had my ears pierced at age 4 (with a needle, thread, and special red thread from Mexico)

DH pierced Caitlin & Lauren's ears when they were about 2.5

Will probably pierce this new little girls when she is pretty young.

I loved growing up with my pierced ears. It made me feel like I was part of the tribe of women in my family. I remember when I was allowed to get my first pair of hoops (graduating from studs), my first pair that "dangled" etc. Special milestones in my life were usually marked by a special pair. It was something just for the women in our family. Except for when my mom was out of the picture for my high school graduation. My dad went out and bought me birthstone earrings. I have only had them out a few times in the last 15 years. When I am stressed you will see me rubbing the stones for comfort.

Lauren is much like me and loves to wear earrings. Caitlin rarely wears them, but is happy that they are pierced so she can if she wants.

[matts_mamamama]

I don't have a daughter, but if I'm blessed enough to have one, my dh and I will decide if and when it is right to have her ears pierced. Since I think that the best parenting is what's best for us and our family, that will be the end of the discussion. I'm sorry to see so many people so judgemental; I mean, for heavens sake, you could compare cutting toenails or hair to ear piercing if you wanted to get so technical! My son never gave me permission to cut his fingernails (which, btw, isn't that cosmetic too?) but I feel no guilt for that! I've said before and I'll say it again - to each her own. Spicey - you made a decision based on your daughter and your own beliefs - don't let anyone make you feel regret for something you feel is right for your family.

[wemoon]

Except that fingernails or hair does not cause pain when cut.... And for that matter my DD at the age of 5 has never had a hair cut. Finger nails could be a safety concern, like scratching themselves.

[fayking]

[QUOTE=matts_mamamama] I mean, for heavens sake, you could compare cutting toenails or hair to ear piercing if you wanted to get so technical! My son never gave me permission to cut his fingernails (which, btw, isn't that cosmetic too?) but I feel no guilt for that! QUOTE]

come on! unless you went wappy with the cutting you cant compare cutting nails with ear piercing...you can damage your childs ears by piercing, simple as that especially if you use a gun...
http://encyc.bmezine.com/?Ear_Piercing_Guns

[party_of_seven]

No, you can't compare it to cutting hair or nails....those things are done for HYGINE and they don't carry the risks of infection etc that ear piercing AND circumcision do. Not to mention that cutting hair and nails are painless and they grow back! Sheesh!