Weekly Chat Thread, Oct 10 - Oct 16

[Desdamona]

Because I have 2 minutes of free time I decided to start this week's thread.

Still feeling errpy. A little queasy here and there. I really think it's more to do with my blood sugar than anything. When I eat a little I am usually okay. When I drink a glass of OJ things are fine and dandy but not long afterwards I feel yucky again. Definitely going to bring this up with my MW this week.

My first appt is on Thrusday. Contemplating on trying to hear the HB with the doppler, but I think I am going to wait until the second appt and hopefully with the whole family in tow we will be able to hear it all together. Still have to talk to my MW about my wishes for this birth (low key attendance, blending into the background, limiting the number of people in attendance...ect...). I hope that she "hears" me and gives me some reassuring feedback. This MW is great because of her WIDE scope of normal that she handles at home, but her bedside manner is lacking. My other viable option is wonderful for emotional support but her protocol is very narrow and I would have been risked out and transferred 3 times over (BIG baby, VBAC past 41wks, mec. present).

So 6 years ago today, just about this time, I was being induced after my water had broken with Donovan. After the long slippery slope of interventions had been run I eventually wound up with a c/sect on October 11, 1998. This birthday as well as last year's didn't "hurt" as much. Mainly because my faith in birth and my ability as a woman had been restored after Gabriel was born at home. I cannot believe my little guy will be 6 tomorrow. WOW! :, Donovan!

Hope those who have been feeling sick are starting to come out of the fog.

[hockeymama]

This is the first time i've posted to a weekly chat mostly because i've been feeling so tired and cruddy i can't stay awake for very long in the pm, I'm usually asleep right after Logan at 7:30. Still tired but the nausea seems to be subsiding finally. We're leaving for a much needed vacation to florida in the morning then when we get back it'll be 10 days till moving day. the house is a pit, i hate living out of boxes and i never realized how much junk we havr accumulated over the last 7 years!

ok, now that i've ranted fully i wish everyone a wonderful week! next monday is our 1st ultrasound. i think i'll be less stressed once i hear a heartbeat and know all is going well.

[hollyhobbie]

11 weeks tomorrow

hey there! i think i missed last weeks thread. i had a crappy weekend b/c i started to spot a bit ofcourse when i was visiting my parents! jeepers. couldnt have happened at a worst time. i was freaking out and my parents are useless when it comes to these things and my dtr (20 months) decided to get clingy right then and there! would not even let me go to the bathroom without screaming!! and she is not like that normally.

anyway, i think that i may have a subchrionic hemorrage like i did with boo. it does not seem like i am miscarrying. and like on that other thread, i swear i have felt movement already!! but ya know, i was really fearing that i was losing this one too and it makes me crazy. like am i too old?? should i try again etc etc. i know getting ahead of myself but these things rush through your head!

so today i am taking it easy and attempting to make a half-hearted thanksgiving dinner. (it is thanksgiving up here!) i am more of a vegetarian cook so i hope i can figure this all out. hope everyone else is doing better than me right now.

[coleslaw]

8 weeks

hollyhobbie, How scary! I hope you are right. I'll cross my fingers for you!

I'm so nauseous. Ugh! I feel awful!! Constantly fighting the urge to throw up. Can't brush my teeth. Can't even watch dd brush her teeth. And becasue of my m/c everyone is excited to hear this and I get no sympathy. (OK, I know it's good too, but just a little "Oh, poor thing" would be nice. )
And I'm a little overwhelmed as we are going to Disney World on Saturday and I'm afraid I won't be able to keep up. Hopefully, dd won't notice. That's all I care about.

OK, OK enough whining from me. Have a good week everyone!

[nym]

I feel like crud sometimes, but others are okay. I am making a big turkey dinner today and I can't wait. I have been craving turkey since we picked the lurkeylurkey (as DS calls him) up at the farm!

I haven't had an spotting, anything really. Infact, if I didn't feel like crud and yawn my face off I would think I wasn't pregnant at all. I definately don't feel it!

[peace_lily_mama]

Hey Desa, have you talked to the midwife about her bedside manner. Maybe there is a way you could bring it up - like constructive criticism or a special request...??? And a very happy Bday to Donovan!


Brigit

[hubris]

*

[Desdamona]

About the midwive's manner-ism.......

Originally Posted by peace_lily_mama

Hey Desa, have you talked to the midwife about her bedside manner. Maybe there is a way you could bring it up - like constructive criticism or a special request...??? And a very happy Bday to Donovan!

Brigit

I did tell her about 2wks after gabriel was born that I felt it was crazy, hectic, almost circus like at Gabriel's birth. There were 4 people in the MW's troupe. She really didn't acknowledge my feelings and I wan't able to persue it because at that moment a friend of mine who was 6 months pregnant, using this MW, walked into the office. We were sitting in the common room at her office. I didn't want my experience to overshadow my friend's perspective on this MW. Although I did have a good heart to heart with my friend and made sure she understood the importance of letting the MW know her wishes.
Which she did and there was only the mw and her backup MW in attendance. Very different atmosphere than my birth.

It really comes back to the fact that this MW handles such a HUGE range of things at home. A friend's PP hemmorage. Me coming to her at 39wks with no documentable prenatal care (I had a lay mw bail on me). VBAC past 41wks. BIG baby. Another friend's baby was posterior she pushed for 7 hours before he was born... Although I think there could have been more done to turn the baby... but he was born star gazing. She even attend twins at home.

The other MW's are more bound to the protocol that the back up OB's lay out. I am resolute though if my gut feeling is that she cannot/will not be as supportive as I feel I need her to be to persue 1 of 2 options. Call the other MW that I think would be wonderful but has a very narrow protocol and plead my case or go at it alone until I am pushing before anyone is called.

Thanks for hearing me out. And thank you for the birthday wishes for Donovan. Unfortunately, the boy has a stomach bug and has been puking since 6am.

[annakiss]

7w0d

Jess, I really feel that it's not just what someone's willing to let you do when it comes to an OB/midwife choice, but it's also about what kind of labor support they will provide. Every doc I've ever heard of isn't really there for labor, only shows up for the end or if they're really needed, whereas midwives (not all of course, but the main point of having a midwife is supposed to be) stay with you during labor and help support or guide you. At my last birth my midwives (my mom and a friend) really didn't do that much labor support because I had my husband and a friend doing that, but in many cases midwives ar ethe best support for that. A midwife will suggest changing position, will remind you to drink or eat and remind you to urinate during labor - all things that in my first labor I totally forgot to do (disclaimer - I'm not saying they should tell you what to do, but midwives have the experience to recognize when a laboring woman will need a change of position to make her feel more comfortable, or when there's a good time to pee and drink more liquids). In the hospital you're going to be depending on nurses for this, not a doc. Not that there's anything wrong with that at all. Just pointing out where I see the differences. Of course, a doc's philosophy is still really important and there are docs out there with better bedside manner and more patience than some midwives. I just see the amount of care as a factor of difference.

Desa, good luck figuring out the midwife thing. Your risk factors don't sound like a big deal at all to me. I don't see why you'd be turned away. My mom just assisted at a forth homebirth the other night with shoulder dystocia after a horrendously long labor. This woman had had shoulder dystocia before as well, so they were expecting that.

I am... better this morning. We'll see how long that lasts. I haven't done anything at all for three days because I threw up 2x on Saturday. It was awful! My husband is so annoyed with me. He's trying to be understanding that I'm busy making a baby here, but mostly he's just grumpy. He's in his first semester of a PhD program, so I can see that he's feeling stressed. He's got a conference in a couple of weeks too that he's having to fix his paper for and just a tremendous amount of superbly boring reading. His MA was more tailored to his field and less about theory so therefore far more interesting and I think it was maybe slightly less demanding, but the boring factor is really counting the most, I think. At any rate, he's busy, I'm ill, and Alex is suffering. Watching lots of television. ugh. I want to feel better, really I do. In other news, I think I can feel my uterus above my pubic bone.

[peace_lily_mama]

Okay, sorry I started to reply to this thread and then had to go, so I'm going to try again!
Bridget, this is my first time responding to a weekly chat thread, too! Have fun on your vacation, and good luck with the move. I know how crappy that can be! I feel as though we've been living out of a box for a year now. We moved into two separate rental homes that both turned out being uninhabitable (is that a word?) So we had to move in with inlaws, and have moved about 5-6 times in 1 yr. ITS CRAZY, and we are just now getting settled in! So, I just wanted to let you know that i Know how ya feel, and it sucks! (but, at least its just 1 move, right?) and, at least its now, and not right after or like week 39!!!

ooh, hollyhobbie - that IS scary, but I am glad you feel like you aren't m/c. to you - and I'm also sending sticky vibes your way!

coleslaw, here is your much needed "OH, you poor thing!!! ALong with some Hope that nausea susbsides soon! and have a good time at DW, you lucky dog!

Nym - and all others celebrating Thanksgiving this time of year, have a wonderful holiday!

Jess - I am so glad that this PG is going better than the last so far! and I am like WAY impressed with your providers! WTG!!!
Desa - good luck with your choices, and give that boy some big for us! Poor thing!

Annakiss - to you, too, girl! My DH is also very grumpy, too, and highly annoyed with me and my emotional state. Too much TV/movie watching going on in our house, too! That will pass soon!

As for me, I am SO happy because I am pretty sure I'm going to get this nanny job I have been wanting. The lady interviewed me too late (after she had already chosen someone for the job) and that sitter isn't working out, so she wants to talk to me about it! WHOOHOO! I am so happy because since I am unemployed, and DH just got a hernia and had been waiting a week or two to start work, I really need this job. Its such good hours - noon to 5, M-F. One 3 y/o, and the lady is SO nice and funny. I'm really excited to start working for her and I hope that she will invite me to sit long-term.
Other than that, things are still stressful around here because of all the financial issues regarding our lack of jobs the past couple of weeks, but I am optimistic. I am feeling pretty good, although I also have moments of slight nausea - but nothing to complain about . It usually goes away once I eat something. I really don't feel that PG - except that I"m a little more tired and I can't eat very much at a time at all.
Caleb j. is doing great, I'm pretty sure he's about to get his molars, and he's been taking naps the past couple of days, which is a warm welcome from the 15 minute to no naps that he usually takes. He's also gotten over his little stage of eating every hour at night, and is back to waking up just once or twice.
Thanks for listening!

[slightly crunchy]

10 weeks

Hi all,

I'm on reading today but no energy to type anything. Shopping online maternity sales, although should be napping with ds, feel too queasy.

Just wanted to say hello!

[hollyhobbie]

would have been 11 weeks today

yup, i was wrong and i miscarried last night at 3 am. i guess it is true that every miscarriage is different just like every birth. i am afraid to go on and try again but i think i will try one more time before i give up. i am not hurting or anything which is a relief b/c last time i was in pain and bleeding for a week!! this physically feels like a relief even though mentally it is much worse. thanks for listening and your support. enjoy your pregnancies!! count your blessings!!

[schatz]

to you hollyhobbie - I'm so sorry that this one didn't stick.

regarding spotting -- I had a weird thing happen this morning (could be tmi coming so watch out). I had a pretty tough bowel movement (let's just say I didn't get enough fiber over the weekend) and afterward had some very bright red blood. I think I stressed my cervix or something (it was definitely vaginal not rectal bleeding). I haven't had any more spotting all day and no cramping so I think it was just related to the bm. Needless to say, I had chili with lots of beans for lunch and will eat a big salad tonight! Too scary.

Also, I'm not feeling too nauseous any more. I started feeling better on Saturday which is weird because I had major nausea with dd until 16 weeks (I'm at 9.5 wks now). I'm hoping that this pregnancy is just easier and the lack of ms is not a bad sign. (I feel for ya coleslaw -- my teeth got pretty scary last time).

Gotta scoot - have a great week all!

[Desdamona]

Originally Posted by annakiss

Desa, good luck figuring out the midwife thing. Your risk factors don't sound like a big deal at all to me. I don't see why you'd be turned away. My mom just assisted at a forth homebirth the other night with shoulder dystocia after a horrendously long labor. This woman had had shoulder dystocia before as well, so they were expecting that.

I don't see any risk factors myself. My body worked perfectly. I birthed a 10+lb baby with a nuchal arm. *BUT* LI is a very unfriendly place to be transported to a hospital during/after a homebirth. MW's are treated like 2nd class citizens. Some are treated with open hostility. I had a RN, whom I was talking to after a client's birth, "Don't let me see you here after your homebirth goes wrong. (I was 6 months PG) I've seen to many moms/babies crash to even entertain the notion of birth without an OR down the hall". Of course this woman was scared of the birth process as a whole but 2 other RN's who were present were nodding in agreement. This is the hospital that I would transport to in the case of an emergency. Scary.

I don't think that the MW's see these big red flag either... But if they want to keep their backup OB's, which they HAVE to in order to practice, they HAVE to stick the protocol the OB sees fit. And like I was saying with the MW who is emotionally supportive her protocol for VBAC birth before 41wks, estimated fetal weight of less than 9lbs, birth within 18hrs of SROM... These are the ones I remember when I talked to them 2½yrs ago.

Sorry to have hijacked this thread. I'm glad you are feeling better, Anna. I hope it continues.

[coleslaw]

hollyhobbie, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please take good care of yourself and PM if you need to talk.

[slightly crunchy]

Hollyhobbie, I'm so so sorry about your miscarriage.

[annakiss]

Hollyhobbie, I am so sorry for your loss.

schatz - here's hoping the spotting was bm related and does not continue (sounds like you're right on about it). :

Claire - good luck getting that job! : I know all about being in transition too, though ours was not nearly as bad as yours. We only moved 2x this summer. btw, could you reduce your signature size to two lines of text? Thanks.

Desa, that does sound like a scary hospital. I hope you are able to work something out with the midwife you do have.

Keri - your dd is too funny!

Kim,

Not feeling better. Feeling better quickly turned to feeling much worse. Threw up 2x on Saturday. Have done absolutely nothing since. Will continue with that course of treatment.

[_jenn]

holliehobby. i am so sorry...

has anyone seen ascw? i remember chatting to her when we all just found out.

i am dealing with a uti right now so thats my latest pg woe...nothing to major. other than that i feel pretty good. my moodiness is alittle less.

anyways i am going to chatch up on the thread now. my internet has been down for 4 days UGH. ( im at my moms catching my mdc fix)

i will post personals after i catch up
ttyl jenn

[Velvet005]

Hollyhobbie: I am so sorry for your loss. Treat yourself well.

schatz- I had the same thing happen to me when I was about 5 or 6 weeks. I had a bm and had to strain and then I had some spotting with no cramoing afterwards that went away. It really freaked me out when it happened.

peacelilymama- good luck on getting the nanny job. I hope everything works out for you.

anna- I am glad you were feeling better for a little while and I am sorry you feel yucky again. I am also sorry about your dh's irritation. I've detected a little annoyance from my dh too.

kim- I hope you feel better soon too.

As for me, I got a call from the dr this morning telling me I have a UTI. They said it was common and prescribed some antibiotics but I am still nervous about taking them. The name of the antibiotic is Macrobid.

[dolfinluvr]

HollyHobbie... to you...please take care, and definitely try again!!

I am feeling better, except I seem to have acquired a very sensitive gag reflex! Toothpaste, water, the mear thought of some foods, etc. will make me gag and almost barf! I also feel like I can not get enough sleep...even when dh takes the nightfeeding(s) with dd, I am still getting up every 2-3hrs. to pee anyway. (sigh)

Had 2nd OB visit last week and heard hb at a whopping 158bpm! I just LOVE hearing that sound!

And I only gained 2#'s this month, which is a vast improvement from when I would go in and have gained 7# with Ava. I am really trying hard to watch what I am eating and now that I am not so nauseas I should really try to start walking. Just my days are so full already with work, and Ava once I get home. And now that our days are getting colder and it turns dark so much faster it's hard to go walking at night....ok, so I'm grabbing for excuses now!