First Appt. Tomorrow - Nervous

[doulanichole]

After 3 children, you would think I would be used to this by now! I am not at all nervous about them stealing my blood (which I hate by the way), but am about the appt. after last month's early m/c. I am still feeling pretty good, but am tired and occassionally nauseous...just not sure that my symptoms are strong enough. Just needed to share my anxiety with someone!

[kathywiehl]

Hi Nichole,

I can totally understand what you are going through. I had a m/c at 7 weeks about 2 years ago and immediately after that, I got pregnant again and decided to hold off on the first appointment until I was past the 12 week mark. I mean, what are they possibly going to do during the early appointments that is so important? Take a medical history? Maybe prescribe vitamins, take a bp? To me, none of that is necessary and if you feel more comfortable cancelling the appointment and waiting til a later time, then go for it. Even when I asked the midwife, she said there really is no reason to have a prenatal before 12 weeks unless the above things are needed. Kwim?

[doulanichole]

Thanks, Kathy!
I totally agree that it really doesn't make a difference. Guess I am just looking for some unrealisitic reassurance that all will be fine. Pretty dumb, huh? I honestly do know better, but I almost feel as if I go tomorrow, it will all seem more real.

[kathywiehl]

Hey! I just noticed that you are a doula- are you planning on going to an OB? Most of the doula's I know are using midwives and having homebirths- makes sense. I'm in B'ham, AL where midwives are not legally allowed to deliver babies at home or anywhere for that matter. I'm still trying to weigh my options as my last birth was in PA with a CNM in a hospital with no interventions. The hospitals here are so horrible when it comes to that stuff, that most who know better don't even bother with an OB and just stick with one of the very few midwives around or they travel outside the state. I see that you are in GA- are you by any chance close enough to know any midwives within 2-3 hours of Birmingham? It takes me about 2.5 hours to get to Atlanta airport, so I was thinking that if I could find a good midwife somewhere in that area, within a 2-3 hour drive, I might consider talking to someone out that way.

Anyway, I totally know what you mean about going tomorrow to make it seem more real. I'm going to see an OB in a few weeks and I want them to do an u/s so that I can see for myself and know that I'm not having another miscarriage.

Good luck tomorrow and please come back and let us know how it goes!

[Meli65]

I hadn't thought about going to see the midwife making me nervous -- I had an early m/c too, before I could even make an appointment. Things feel a little different this time around,although that might be because I am consciously trying to think positive, whereas before I never believed that *I* would have a miscarriage.

I think I need to see a regular doc to wean off Prozac, though. Should I get prescription prenatals, or just go to the health food store? Hope this isn't too OT....

[kathywiehl]

Originally Posted by Meli65

Things feel a little different this time around,although that might be because I am consciously trying to think positive, whereas before I never believed that *I* would have a miscarriage.

I know what you mean, it's like there is a point in your life where you see a pos. preg. test and it's assumed that in 9 months you'll have a healthy baby. Then when you suffer through a m/c, you know that isn't always necessarily true and you end up worrying and hoping and praying every day of subsequent pregnancies. It sucks to not be naive anymore, doesn't it? I really wish I could go back to thinking the way I did before- that a pos. hpt = baby.

Also about your prenatals, you can buy them at the store. I get mine by prescription because I need chewables. When I became pg with my first 10 years ago, I developed this inability to swallow pills. Weird since before then, I could have easily swallowed one of those huge prenatal vitamins.

I'd also talk to the midwife about weaning off Prozac before you bother with a doctor. My midwife back in PA could have easily helped with something like that- she was a CNM with a great relationship with her backup doctor, and she probably just would have called him to find out what was needed to be done.

[mclisa]

Originally Posted by Meli65

I think I need to see a regular doc to wean off Prozac, though. Should I get prescription prenatals, or just go to the health food store? Hope this isn't too OT....

Are you taking folic acid? You need 1 mg here in the early part of development and most people don't get enough in their diet. You should at least be taking folic acid if you aren't taking a prenatal vitamin.

Nichole: good luck at your appointment! I go for mine in a few weeks and am hoping to sneak in an u/s around then. I want a peak at this little one and know that it is going to be OK.

[Awaken]

Originally Posted by kathywiehl

I know what you mean, it's like there is a point in your life where you see a pos. preg. test and it's assumed that in 9 months you'll have a healthy baby. I really wish I could go back to thinking the way I did before- that a pos. hpt = baby.

kwym. I has always been like this even though I hae not had a m/c. Just because I see a positive pregancy test I am not convinced that means I am actually going to have a baby in 9 mos! Even with my last pregnancy (which was fine) I felt this way the whole time, and with this one- I really don't have any pregnancy symptoms, so it's kind of hard to have that kind of 'faith' when a hpt is the only evidence- you know??

So I made my appt at 10 weeks- now would have been too soon, and I didn't feel like waiting a whole 12 weeks. Can they hear the heartbeat by 10 weeks? I forget. That will make it so much more real to me.

As far as prenatals, I have always just taken a regular multivit. with adequate folate and iron. The mw has never even mentioned prescription to me!

Nichole, let us know how things go! Sending good thoughts your way.

Mary

[aja-belly]

i so know what you mean. i am nervous too. i have had so much bloodwork to make sure my hcg levels are doubling well and to check my progesterone. everything looks great, but i really wanna see that baby on ultrasound on the 25th! after that i know i'll feel better.

aja

[IntoTheRoseGarden]

I am feeling the same way! Before my m/c, I was debating whether to get a u/s at all with future pregnancies; now I am thinking of asking for an early one, just to make sure everything is going ok. I haven't made an appointment with anyone (I'm still deciding between a homebirth mw and an ob) but I'm very anxious for my first visit. I love the observation that no longer = baby; that is exactly how I am feeling. It really seems to be taking away a lot of the excitement of early pg. Last time I was a wreck because it was totally unplanned, and I didn't tell the father or my parents until 13 weeks. This time I am a mess with worry. Maybe next time I will be able to relax and enjoy it!

Nichole, let us know how your appointment goes!

[mclisa]

How did the appointment go, Nichole?

Michelle

[doulanichole]

Update

Thanks for all of the well wishes! The appt. went well in that I actually told the mw (CNM in an ob practice) that my last baby was born at home on purpose. I have worked with her several times and really trust her so I felt confident in telling her (in a state where it is also not legal and not illegal, like AL). She was so cool with it and asked questions about how it all worked. She also did an internal exam and said I only felt about 4 weeks (should be about 5), but I know that she could easily be off on that one. She scheduled an u/s for the 20th and hopefully that will help calm my nerves.

I plan to have a homebirth and have dual care with my ob/mw practice since ins. pays for all of the ob/mw visits. I like having an established relationship with a practice and especially one that I have had a great working relationship with for years. I get all of my bloodwork which I will need for the hb, but ins. pays for it.

I am a doula and it is probably about 50% or less here for the ones who choose hb. I will check on AL info for you and post asap!

Thanks to all for checking on me and offering reassurance!

[mclisa]

Sounds like it went well!
It is going to be interesting to hear about everyone's different experiences leading up to the labor and delivery of their new baby.

[Karennnnn]

mclisa--I know I've seen your name before, weren't we on the March 2005 due date list?
Congrats by the way
Karen

[noodle4u]

Originally Posted by Mary6912

So I made my appt at 10 weeks- now would have been too soon, and I didn't feel like waiting a whole 12 weeks. Can they hear the heartbeat by 10 weeks? I forget. That will make it so much more real to me.



Mary

12wks is usually when you can hear the heartbeat, but the mw was saying to me that sometimes you get lucky and can hear one at 10.
My first appt. I will be 9.5wks and Im hoping to har the heartbeat.
It will make it all seem more real.

[Awaken]

Originally Posted by noodle4u

12wks is usually when you can hear the heartbeat, but the mw was saying to me that sometimes you get lucky and can hear one at 10.
My first appt. I will be 9.5wks and Im hoping to har the heartbeat.
It will make it all seem more real.

Well I hope I get lucky then, and get to hear it at 10 weeks! Too bad my dh can't come with me for that appointment. I sure hope you get to hear it at 9.5 weeks I am really hanging onto that --- I think after that we might consider telling people.