A New Thread For Mamas Who Are Doing Child Led Weaning - Page 2

[UrbanPlanter]

I'm still here!

My issue of the moment: preschool. I'm certain that no other child is a breastfeeding child at this school. I feel like I have to hide our nursing relationship. I worry that we would be admonished for trying to nurse at school - or that they would say something like it is detrimental to DS' growing independence, or say something that would make DS feel in secure about it.

[chickabiddy]

Hi.

I lurk more than I post (see my join date and post count).

And I'm not completely sure that I belong in a child-led weaning thread -- I *will* continue to nurse as long as my daughter wants, but have recently (she's 2 years 7 months) started limiting nursing in public and offering distractions at home when I'm just totally touched out.

But I wanted to introduce myself anyhow.

[UrbanPlanter]

nak

T chickabiddy, my ds was due on your dd's bday! (but born 2 wks later)

[padomi]

Hi all, dd is 27 months now and still nursing like she's 2 months! I still love it - the only draw back is I'd like to get pg and I seem to be having a hard time with that - wacky cycles - I'm assuming due to nursing b/c my cycles were like clockwork before and I got pg in 2 months w/ dd. Other than that I love nursing her and I love that she loves nursing: "I love your boobies, mommy."

Our first negative comment came this weekend - it was the first time someone ever said anything negative about it, and I cried my eyes out. I guess it happens to everyone eventually.

Nursing her really came in handy this week b/c she had a stomach virus - she's now on day 8 of vomiting and diarrhea. Won't eat or drink anything - not even water - except she's nursing constantly. The doctor said she was lucky to be nursing still b/c otherwise she'd likely be dehydrated by now. Nursing also helps when she doesn't feel good - a comfort to her.

Anyway, that's us. The rate we're going, I'll probably still be nursing her when she's 5...she shows no signs of slowing down!

[StillForest]

Hi All,

Finally feel ready to join this thread. DD is turning 3 in a week and somehow I finally feel as though we might be doing EBF. It just has never felt "extended" per se. I still can't imagine weaning, though she has been very slowly cutting back on her nursing the past year. We're doing CLW and it just feels so right and respectful for our relationship. So glad to see this thread!

[mother_sunshine]

I just wanted to pop in real quick and say how glad I am to see this thread going strong.

And to those Mamas who are having a hard time right now. Tandem or not, we all have our hard times. Those hard times do end....and then we look back and say "I miss those times". Try to see the goodness in it and live the moment. It's so wonderful to be smothered by our children's love. Our time with them is so short.

I think whatever our definition of CLW, it seems to me that we all belong here. Everyone can benefit from one another's support and experiences. It's nice to see so much tolerance.

I'm a has-been :LOL. Dd has been weaned for a few months now, but I love coming here to offer support and share my experience. Breastfeeding was such an incredibly special part of our lives.

[Mom4tot]

It is great to "see" you here, Mother Sunshine

[MamaAllNatural]

Originally Posted by mother_sunshine

I'm a has-been

:LOL Don't go anywhere! We need your experience. You've been through the entire process. You have a lot to offer us. It's so wonderful to have you here. Thanks for sticking around.

[mother_sunshine]

Good to see you too Joan.

Thanks MamaAllNatural.

I try to be the person that I wish I had when I was going through the process. Plus I like the friendship and feel-good atmosphere here.

I think you guys will have to kick me out before I go anywhere. :LOL

[mama_at_home]

Hi there! It is really late here but I just wanted to jump in to say hello really quickly. I find it funny that on all the other boards I visit, I am the odd ball for nursing a 16 month old, but here I feel like I am just a beginner! :LOL Looking forward to chatting and learning more. I frequently lurk on mothering, but it is so big and overwhelming that I rarely post. When I get some time, I will make a cute siggie like all of you.

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I intend to let my son wean himself, though I'm having doubts at the moment. Last night I had BooBah in the sling, and when I asked him to wait for Mike to finish doing laundry so he could hold her, you'd have thought the world ended. He screamed, threw himself on the ground, crying "I want nursies! Mamma, nurse your baby boy! Nurse a little boy! Maaaammmaaaa!!! NUUUUURRRRSSSIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!" and on and on like that for a good half an hour, until Mike finished the laundry and came in to hold him while I put the baby back to sleep. It was absolutely awful. I don't think I can handle much more of it. He just doesn't understand that when he wakes his sister up, it will take me much longer to get to him than it would if he was just quiet for a few minutes. I'm totally losing it! :

He's back to getting most of his nutrition from me; his sister is, of course, recieving all of her nutrition from me. I'm physically exhausted, taking a vitamin doesn't seem to help, and if I didn't NAK I'd spend a grand total of 15 minutes a day online. Doing all this nursing, you'd think I'd at least be losing weight, but no, I appear to have gained five pounds since my daughter's birth. UGH. I'm absolutely disgusted with myself, and that doesn't help the nursing (or anything else).

I feel horribly guilty when I think about weaning my BeanBean, but I do think about it, and often. I don't think I should-- after all, when he's nursing he's quiet, he's my sweet little baby again... but when he's not nursing, sometimes he's just too much for me. He'd rather have me stay in bed all day just waiting for him to nurse than anything else, and I can't live like that. I don't get out enough as it is! I feel like my entire life revolves around when he needs to nurse. It's just really getting to be too much for me. Sometimes I just wish he'd leave me alone. :

I vaguely recall the first year of tandem nursing. It was rough. But you must be so happy when your son is content and quiet for a moment even if it's because his mouth is full of boob. Hehe. If he wasn't still a nursling, he still wouldn't understand that you couldn't drop what you were doing to get him what he needed. It's just one of those things that they do. heh. He'll eventually get it. Don't feel bad. And please eat more. It must be hard to find the time to eat with taking care of the baby and all that nursing babies you're doing. I found that keeping a stash of Luna bars handy was extremely helpful. Your metabolism is quick to go into preservation mode in the interest of producing breastmilk so eating is SO very important at this stage. Hang in there. It will get better. And there are going to be those days when your nurslings hold hands while they nurse on your lap and you'll want to cry with joy at the sweetness of your happy family.

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by fraya

kavamamakava:

I haven't read Mothering your Nursing Toddler. A friend (who suddenly weaned her 2 y.o. daughter one day) loaned me the book but I haven't had the urge to read it. ...

I guess to me, weaning begins when we introduce solid foods. Does that mean that anybody who introduces solid foods isn't CLW? I view child-led weaning as being a choice where the child decides when to terminate his/her nursing relationship entirely (and not necessarily determining each of the components of the relationship). To me, to say that placing limits on the child's nursing is not child-led weaning is inconsistent with, say, having another child. The baby needs to nurse, so is nursing the baby (first, let's say--so the older child waits until after the newborn has finished nursing ... and I know tandem is possible, but sometimes, nursing a newborn is tough and the newborn nursling's nursing issues might make it impossible to simply latch two on at the same time) imposing a limit on the older child's nursing relationship? Then anybody who has another child before the older one weans (and delays the older child's nursing, even once, in order to nurse the newborn) is not child-led weaning. To me, that isn't reconcilable.

...

This got a bit off-topic. I'd just hate for you to be feeling like you didn't give your child what you wanted to give him, simply because you got pregnant or occasionally asked him to wait for you to fulfill a need of yours before you fulfilled a need (or desire) of his.

Thank you for this post I feel comfortable and at peace with our nursing relationship, I was just exploring the term as I'm not intimate with the pure definition of CLW. I, too, feel it's important for me to make my own personal space and needs clear within the nursing relationship. I just wasn't sure if that fit into the CLW definition. hehe.

I really enjoyed reading Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. I sort of chuckled, though, when I read things like offering snacks and drinks rather than a nursing session or "don't offer, don't refuse" or asking the nursling to wait until you were finished a task were all weaning tactics. Not for my nursling. He just nursed extra later on if he needed it when he skipped a nursing session. I never night weaned because, well, I dunno, maybe I'm too lazy or too tired at night to be resolute about dealing with a child who wants to nurse? My daughter amazed me the other night when she woke up for the 3rd time to nurse (she's been night nursing after months of not doing so because of being sick) and I was so tired that I asked her if she could wait until morning and she said OK! I almost woke up all the way. I couldn't believe how easy it was. That she would respect my need to sleep if I asked. That's a really neat part of extended breastfeeding.

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by AdrianneWe

I'm still here!

My issue of the moment: preschool. I'm certain that no other child is a breastfeeding child at this school. I feel like I have to hide our nursing relationship. I worry that we would be admonished for trying to nurse at school - or that they would say something like it is detrimental to DS' growing independence, or say something that would make DS feel in secure about it.

I'm such a brat. I'm the one who makes a point to nurse in those types of situations. You should have seen me tandem nursing in the ball pit at the Family Fun Center. LOL.

[Evergreen]

:LOL

Me too!

DP and I even made a bet as to when Dylan would wean. He said 2.5, but has bumped it up to 3.5 recently! I said 5,so we will just have to wait and see!

I limit her nursing when I am touched out, and I *tried* to nightwean her, but it didn't work, so I am back where I started, and loving it!

[Potty Diva]

We did child-led weaning and will definitely do it again.

Kailey weaned about 4 weeks ago, at age 41 months. Much longer than I would have dreamed, and although I love our new huggley relationship, I do miss nursing.

Congrats to all who are still on their nursing journey!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by EvergreenDP

and I even made a bet as to when Dylan would wean. He said 2.5, but has bumped it up to 3.5 recently! I said 5,so we will just have to wait and see!

My bet for BeanBean was 4.5. Mike says he'll be at least 6. I told him that I put my foot down at puberty; I will not nurse a pubescent child.

[Peppamint]

I'm here but it's a crazy week and ds wants to be attached to my boob 24/7. <deep breaths>

[UrbanPlanter]

Originally Posted by kavamamakava

I'm such a brat. I'm the one who makes a point to nurse in those types of situations. You should have seen me tandem nursing in the ball pit at the Family Fun Center. LOL.

Yeah, but... I have to "live" with the kids/parents/teachers until next June. I worry about us being ostracized somehow...

[Mom4tot]

Adrianne, I think you are right to be concerned about that. I am sorry I didn't respond to your preschool thread. By the time I saw it, you were doing better and I didn't have as much to share. We did a traditional Montessori preschool for a year when dd was 4. We eventually decided it wasn't for us and now we homeschool. I could relate to many of the feelings you expressed

One of my closest friends and co LLL leader was going also. We often joked about what the teachers would think if they knew the girls were "still" nursing.

I feel for you. I know you don't like having to compromise your beliefs to fit into this "system", but you are accurate in your assessment that there may be reprucussions shuld you nurse. I do feel however, if your little guy really needed to nurse, you should. Then deal with it later. Ellie and I nursed before school and after. Now, my perspective is different, but I am just trying to say that I understand your feelings.

[UrbanPlanter]

Thanks, Joan! Your post made me feel much better!