A New Thread For Mamas Who Are Doing Child Led Weaning - Page 3

[Elphaba]

Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm in this camp, too. I don't post a whole lot these days, but I am reading, and have been reading, this thread in both its incarnations.
Our nursling just turned 3 on Saturday and nurses quite a lot these days. She sometimes asks to nurse and before I can even respond, has left the room and is on to some other activity. I guess she's .
She still nurses at night, too. I had a friend tell me that her 7-month-old still wanted to nurse at night and I laughed at her. It had been a trial around the 2-year mark, but whatever was causing me to get riled up has passed. Maybe it's because my meds have been upped. Anyway, she is finally sleeping longer stretches at night and I am so grateful! I find it really gratifying to still be nursing her at 3. She is so enthusiastic about it, I can't imagine an abrupt or unilateral weaning. With all the changes she has endured this year, I am glad we still have nursing as a constant. I can't say I wouldn't be a little happy if she weaned next year, but I think her daddy's deployment will delay that day for a while yet.
I'm thinking she'll be one of those who weans between 5 and 6. I don't even want to envision my IL's reactions to that scenario!

[Mama2Girls+1]

Yay! A thread I can join!

I am nursing my 13 month old. And I know she wont be letting up for a long time. Which I love!! Im suprised I have made it this far. My 1st dd only nursed 3 months, I just couldnt do it. But I was determined to nurse my 2nd as long as I can. I was only going to a year but loved it so much.

Sydney does great, she nurses 7-8 times during the day and 2-3 times a night. I was tandem nursing for a few weeks but my 3rd dd got sick and was in the hospital for 3 weeks. She likes her preemie nipple more and wont nurse anymore. Which Im fine with, we still try but she shows no intrest. At least Im still getting the joy of nursing my 13 month old!

[chickabiddy]

kavamamakava: I sort of chuckled, though, when I read things like offering snacks and drinks rather than a nursing session or "don't offer, don't refuse" or asking the nursling to wait until you were finished a task were all weaning tactics.

There are (rare) times when I just don't want to nurse and will offer a juicebox instead -- but I'm not trying to not nurse ever again, I'm just trying to not nurse that very moment (wow, that's a poorly constructed sentence). And "don't offer, don't refuse" is a joke around here: I don't think I've *offered* to nurse for a long time but that certainly hasn't stopped my daughter from asking!

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by AdrianneWe

Yeah, but... I have to "live" with the kids/parents/teachers until next June. I worry about us being ostracized somehow...

Sorry

[steph]

I just wanted to pipe up and join the group too. I'm still nursing dd at 40 mos. I've been really struggling with night nursing, as she nurses between 3-8 times a night - and I wake up every time. And to make it more challenging for the two weeks between ovulation and AF, my boobs hurt alot when she nurses. At times I want to night wean, and then other times I just just can't handle the thought of having to endure her being miserable for a week or whatever it would take.

Interestingly, this month has been particularly challenging, and I actually bought her a pacifier at the suggestion of a friend (and the pleading of dd, who has been facinated by them when she's seen them with other kids). I almost immediately regretted it as I was afraid it would lead to yet another thing to wean from instead of just me. When I suggested we forgo the paci, dd threw a fit, and so we came to an agreement that she can use it first thing in the morning, until breakfast, then at night after dinner, before bed. While she hates to part with them, she kisses them goodby. Interstingly, she really doesn't nurse much in the morning anymore since the paci., when before she was a ravenous nurser after waking up. And, she's not nursing as much when we sleep - maybe 3-4 times. And, this may be coinsidental or not, she's started saying she can take a nap by herself on the bed, without having to nurse down now, and she does.

So, who knows where this will lead? I've enjoyed our nursing realtionship - except for the sore boobs and lack of sleep. I honestly can't see it extending beyond 4 y.o., but then again, I've been known to stretch my limits beyond what I thought possible before....

Congrats to all you mamas who are nursing your "older" babes!!!

[TiredX2]

[Angierae]

Last night was so challenging for me! BabyD is teething and nursed all evening until she finally let me pop her off at OlderD's bedtime. OlderD always nurses to sleep, but since she turned 3 it hasn't worked as well. She now needs to mentally make the decision to allow sleep to happen. For some mysterious reason she couldn't do that last night and she nursed off and on for 3 hours before finally caving. She would go 45 min and look about to fall alseep so I'd keep going. Then she'd fly off, open her eyes, and yell "playtime," waking up BabyD in the process who then needed to be nursed back. BY midnight I was just repeating "no, no, no" every time OlderD aksed to nurse. Thankfully DH stepped in and walked OlderD around singing to her, which relaxed both she and I and when they came back to bed she nursed for 2 min and fell asleep. Sweet DH even worked from home today to help me through my frazzled state. Now we are heading up to bed again and I am trying to stay optimistic. She hasn't nursed all day, so maybe last night was a fluke. It seems like things go smoothly for a month or so and then we have a crazy few days where I question everything, then it falls back into place like nothing ever happened.

To keep me feeling good about myself, here is a story...Today I was walking with both girls and stopped to talk to a woman with a baby the same age. She was smoking and had her 4mo asleep in the stroller with a bottle of formula propped up. OlderD pointed to the bottle and said, "I like those funny things! They have silly lids!" as she pointed at the silicon nipple. She thought it was a sippy cup. Just thought that was cute and it cheered me up.

Thanks for listening ladies!

[NatureMama3]

s to all those having stressful times!

What has everone's experience been with family members?

We've had mixed reactions in our family, but overall they've not harassed us at all. Mostly just ignorance (what is baby getting out of it? will they EVER wean?). My Mom (who nursed my sister and I, but for less than 18 months) actually told me she was proud of me recently. (I know I shouldn't look for validation from others, but it DID feel good)

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by NatureMamaOR

s to all those having stressful times!

What has everone's experience been with family members?

We've had mixed reactions in our family, but overall they've not harassed us at all. Mostly just ignorance (what is baby getting out of it? will they EVER wean?). My Mom (who nursed my sister and I, but for less than 18 months) actually told me she was proud of me recently. (I know I shouldn't look for validation from others, but it DID feel good)

Everyone just assumes my kiddos are still nursing in my family. I think MIL might have made a comment to her son about our oldest still nursing but I'm not sure. I don't really care what her opinion on breastfeeding is. heh.

[LittleLegos]

Hi everyone!

Great thread. I'm nursing a big boy (4.5yrs), who actually looks even older than he is! Last week on the playground he really, really needed to nurse. I did tell him it wasn't a great time, but he kept asking, so we did. The families there we'll see until June too... I wonder if any other kids there are still nursing. I'm really glad I listened to him because later that night he threw up, just once. I think he was fighting something and hooray again for nursing!

We are tandem nursing too and have good and bad days with that. One amazing thing happened recently. Ds was sick with intense stomach pain and didn't eat and barely drank for days. He was interested in nursing, but not too much. I had been checking in with his dr the whole time, but finally we took him in. Anyway, I finally was encouraging him to nurse whenever he wanted to help him get better and a whole day he nursed on one side and dd on the other. I was concerned about dd getting enough, but do have a lot of trust in the whole supply and demand thing. My body adjusted just fine and everyone was happy. Our amazing bodies.

Look forward to getting to know everyone!

[mother_sunshine]

Originally Posted by NatureMamaOR

What has everone's experience been with family members?

I didn't really talk about it with anyone in the family except my Mom. I recently told her that dd weaned and she was happy (and surprised) for us. She was mostly happy because I shared it with her. Natural parenting is so foreign to her, I think she appreciates learning about it. She didn't think dd would wean on her own. We're proof that it does happen! The subject of tandem nursing came up and she was shocked that mothers can nurse two at a time (I think she almost fainted at the thought of triandem nursing:LOL).

We live pretty far from everyone so when we have visited family it was just something we did without worrying about what others thought. Plus I have always been the "black sheep" in my family so I don't think anyone was ever surprised.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by NatureMamaOR

What has everone's experience been with family members?

My mother thinks that a four year old who nurses is manipulating their mother. When I pointed out that three of her five children and one of her two grandchildren over the age of three have been intense, long-term thumbsuckers, she stopped talking. I've told her that I will nurse my children until they stop, and that they all stop eventually. If they haven't stopped by the time they're ten years old, I may well rethink my position, but we'll cross that bridge when we (don't) come to it. BeanBean is not currently a thumbsucker or a pacifier addict, and I'm very confident that the only reason for that is nursing. BooBah may well be a thumbsucker despite the nursing; she needs to be sucking *constantly*, more than my poor, sore little nipples can provide for her. She'll suck on anything at all, and can most often be found with several fingers or a thumb in her mouth.

I told my MIL that they all stop eventually. For now, she's very impressed with the way that nursing immediately calms BeanBean when he's feeling sick, tired, or troubled. Any injury can be instantly healed by a few minutes at the breast, any slight to his dignity quickly forgotten with a few drops of mamma milk. She sees it, I believe, the same way I do: as an invaluable tool to gentle parenting. I'm not sure how that will change as he gets older, but I'm not terribly concerned about it.

My husband had never really thought about breastfeeding one way or the other until I told him that I was going to be nursing for a minimum of two years. Now when we talk about nursing, he says he thinks BeanBean will nurse until he's six years old. He refuses to think about concieving a third child until we're both confident that BooBah is physically able to handle enough solid food to get her by, even though he'd originally hoped to be finished having children before he's 40 and that will alter our timetable. So we're all good.

[Peppamint]

My family is all supportive. They were a bit... um, I dunno maybe surprised when my dd was still nursing after 1yo but mostly only because you rarely see anyone NIP around here, even newsborns or small infants. I explained the benefits etc and said she'll nurse til she weans. She ended up weaning prematurely at almost 21mo due to my 2nd pregnancy and short separations because I was working p/t. Their main concern was that she would continue to be so attached to me that she wouldn't want anyone else. Well, let's just say that's not a concern. She is very loving and responsive to all our family and we get tons of compliments on how happy and well adjusted our kids are. I've turned my mom, MIL, dh, and grandmas into lactivists!

So needless to say, nobody even blinks at ds nursing at "only" 17mo.

[Cranberry]

Originally Posted by AdrianneWe

My issue of the moment: preschool. I'm certain that no other child is a breastfeeding child at this school. I feel like I have to hide our nursing relationship. I worry that we would be admonished for trying to nurse at school - or that they would say something like it is detrimental to DS' growing independence, or say something that would make DS feel in secure about it.

I know how you feel! My son is 5 and in kindergarten and still nursing, although he hasn't nursed at ALL in the past 2 days, which is amazing and unbelievable for him! He even goes to sleep without nursing now. I just waited until he was ready to stop... and I thought he would NEVER stop!!

My mom is supportive, but I don't discuss it with my MIL. She probably thinks it's weird or maybe she thinks he's already weaned because we don't really do it in front of her anymore.

One of the great things about nursing a child to this age is that I know he will have wonderful memories of breastfeeding. Also, it's so great to know that the benefits from bf will last for the rest of his life.

[mom2threenurslings]

Originally Posted by NatureMamaOR

What has everone's experience been with family members?

I've never had a problem with my mother-in-law. She (until a year or two ago!) was a La Leche League Leader!!! It was actually my dh who brought up nursing when I was pg with Alex and I decided to "give it a try"! My MIL sent us a copy of "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" as soon as she found out I was pg!

My family is a bit different. My mother didn't breastfeed us at all. The oldest nursling they had ever seen (or that I had ever seen) was a 3 month old. They kind of grew into the breastfeeding beyond 3-6 months concept, as I did! I got pg again when Alex was 9 months old, and by that time I had realized that CLW was right for my family ... so we had a few discussions with my family about nursing through pregnancy and beyond/ toddler nursing, etc. before Alex even turned one. My family is used to me doing the "different" or "odd" thing, so they just went with it! :LOL

My grandmother has been an unexpected source of support, telling me stories of a friend of hers who seemed to "throw her boob over her shoulder so that her kids would follow". This same friend nursed someone else's baby (whom she babysat daily) in addition to one or two of her own.

Now if my parents were only open to the concept of me having another child...

[padomi]

What a great thread. This is really helpful. We recently moved back to my home state, and while it's beautiful (SC), it's not the most progressive state. So I haven't felt as comfortable NIP here as other places I've lived. And in fact, this was the only place I've had negative feed back (might I add that the negative feedback came from other mothers, which really makes me Anyway, it's nice to know you're out there, and I have a place to come when I feel like the only mother in the world bf'ing a 2 year old. (I may in fact be the only mother in SC doing so!) :LOL

[mother_sunshine]

Originally Posted by Cranberry

One of the great things about nursing a child to this age is that I know he will have wonderful memories of breastfeeding. Also, it's so great to know that the benefits from bf will last for the rest of his life.

"Here Here" to that!

I've heard of people saying "Aren't you worried that she'll/he'll remember?".

We WANT them to remember!

[mom2threenurslings]

I'm worried that they WON'T remember!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings

I'm worried that they WON'T remember!

Me too! People always look at me crosseyed when I say that, but I've never met anyone who remembered nursing and I think it'd be nice. It must have a huge impact on the parent-child dynamic, you know?

[kavamamakava]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

Me too! People always look at me crosseyed when I say that, but I've never met anyone who remembered nursing and I think it'd be nice. It must have a huge impact on the parent-child dynamic, you know?

I remember nursing. I don't remember nursing often, it was just something I did every once in a while since my baby sister was also nursing. I think I probably stopped around 3 1/2 or maybe 4.