Bedtime has become a nightmare and GD is not working

[Soogie]

My daughter, 2 1/2, used to go to bed so easily but lately every night is a battle. Our bedtime routine has not changed...bath, brush teeth, several stories, songs, and then to bed. But now that she's potty trained we've added in the last chance to potty before bed. But after she's in her crib, then she's thirsty and wants water, then she has to pee, then she wants more songs, then more water, then potty again, then a different blankie, different baby to sleep with...it never ends. The whole routine is almost 2 hours long and if my daughter had it her way, it would be all night. I've tried to be stern with her without being ugly, but her demands are getting manipulative and she ends up screaming to the point of near vomiting if she doesn't get her way. My DH has absolutely no more patience for her at bedtime and I'm quickly being drained of mine. I don't like for her to cry herself to sleep, but we can't keep going in there, fulfilling request after request after request...

I'm at a loss at what we can do to make bedtime easier again. Like I said, it doesn't feel right to let her jsut cry but I don't know what else to do at this point. And her antics are disrupting her brothers bedtime, in that after we think she's settled in, she starts up 5 minutes later demanding something else and if we don't respond asap, she screams, waking her brother up.

Any advice for this frustrated momma???

-Susan

[rubysmomjess]

I don't know if this is terribly GD but I just say no. I warn dd (she's 22 mo) that this is the last book, drink of water, etc. and after that I just remind her that it was the last time. We can read books tomorrow, sing songs tomorrow, but right now it's time for bed. She whines a bit sometimes, but mostly I think you kind of have to establish that when you say it's time, it's time.

That's not to say that you can't be flexible. If she's sick, I'm usually really lenient.

Hope that helps. Also, my dd has been going through a phase where the dark is scary. So I make sure to reassure her that I won't leave until she's asleep. Also I put her to sleep in our bed and then move her to her toddler bed in our room, when we come to bed, she usually climbs in with us around 5am.

[NatureMama3]

Maybe she's ready to be out of her crib? Maybe try cosleeping for a while?

[Pookietooth]

I am in a similar situation except we co-sleep, so I don't know if that will help. I was thinking maybe they start to need less sleep? DS is now up until after 10 on many nights, when he used to be out by 9.

[monkey's mom]

I think one of the most important tools we can use utilize as AP and GD parents is listening.

We listen to our babies' hunger cues and feed on demand. We listen to our children's cries and comfort them. So why do we have such a hard time listening to our toddler's sleep needs? Suddenly these babies whom we trusted to know what they needed and trusted ourselves to respond to it, get a few years under their belt and we find ourselves trusting less and less.

I know we hit a point at about 2/2.5 yrs. where our son's sleep needs changed and we were in the same quandry. What has worked for us is to go back to "basics"--we let him determine when he needs sleep and try to override those societal tapes that say he should have a bedtime and his own bed and that he needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. And aren't these all the things that we've heard a million times about our babies, too--they need to be put on a schedule, they need to sleep in their own crib, and they need to learn to comfort themselves?

Trust your kid--she'll go to sleep when she's ready. Trust yourself--your responding to you're child's needs just like you did when she was a baby.