So I just need to vent a bit...I was at my monthly church women's breakfast on saturday, and a friend of mine (not at all AP, but still a friend) was advocating CIO and Ferber's books and how wonderful it was to another woman at the group (who does not have any children but whose sister has a toddler and infant twins, whom I believe are BF). Worse yet, my friends mother was there and was raving on about it too, and how wonderful the pediatrician was who told them to Ferberize. I spoke up that I could never do that, and she replied that with her first, it was awful (at FOUR WEEKS OLD) but when she knew how well it worked it was easy with her other three (although she waited until SIX WEEKS with her twins, 'cause they were smaller. She did try BF her twins, but stopped when the pediatrician told her she was too tired and it wasn't worth it!?!?) When I told her about how I really treasure nursing and rocking dd to sleep each night (at 16 months, that must have been a shock), she wrote it off as something I liked because I work outside the home (like if I were home all day I would be dying to get rid of my child each night! Furthermore, when she Ferberized her first child she was still on maternity leave from work, so how does my WOHM status factor in?)
I did mention to the woman who was looking for advice for her sister that I had had several people recommend books like "The No Cry Sleep Solution", and when I got home I emailed her links to this Forum, the Parenting Multiples Forum, and some Dr. Sears info (including a full-text article about how Ferberizing just teaches you to ignore your child's cues and is dangerous). She said she would pass them on to her sister, so hopefully I have intercepted one round of Ferberizing advice, but I was furioius, and still am. It is too late for my friend's kids in regard to Ferber, so I probably won't take the issue further with her, though I would really like to ask her not to recommend it in light of biological findings relating sleeping through the night and increased SIDS risk.
Thanks if you've read this far - I am just so disgusted and frustrated and though I hate telling someone "Hey, you made dangerous choices so you could get some sleep" I really would like to.
I did mention to the woman who was looking for advice for her sister that I had had several people recommend books like "The No Cry Sleep Solution", and when I got home I emailed her links to this Forum, the Parenting Multiples Forum, and some Dr. Sears info (including a full-text article about how Ferberizing just teaches you to ignore your child's cues and is dangerous). She said she would pass them on to her sister, so hopefully I have intercepted one round of Ferberizing advice, but I was furioius, and still am. It is too late for my friend's kids in regard to Ferber, so I probably won't take the issue further with her, though I would really like to ask her not to recommend it in light of biological findings relating sleeping through the night and increased SIDS risk.
Thanks if you've read this far - I am just so disgusted and frustrated and though I hate telling someone "Hey, you made dangerous choices so you could get some sleep" I really would like to.
: . If our culture as a whole were more geared towards the needs of even the very newest members, you wouldn't see cio. I have found that people are either cio/ ferber supporters or they are not. I try not to tangle too much with my friends who are devoted to cio because they have made up their minds. I share what I do and why it works for us if I am asked, but it is hard to turn the decided back around. Sounds like you did the right thing by passing along good info though.
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