Are you a Lonely GD'er?

[insahmniak]

My daughter and I just got back from being at the play area at the local shopping center. My daugher seems to really like watching and being around other children, but I notice that every time we leave a place like this *I* end up feeling pretty frustrated. The latest incident was two 3 y/os fighting over toy cars as their caregivers shouted "share!" at them.

I feel like such a freak sometimes. I feel like the SHARE command invites more problems than it solves. I shudder when I hear people shout "good job" at their kids. And yet these notions seem SO MAINSTREAM that I don't think I"ll ever run into any folks who might feel the same way.

This online GD community rocks and I'm really glad y'all are here.
I think it spoils me so much that when I move about out there ITRW I end up feeling pretty freakish.

It makes me want to hide in the woods with my daughter until she's a bit older (she's 1.5 y/o). I mean, I'm really trying to sneak past the whole "MINE!" materialistic, ownership-focused mind-set that I see so much in the world. Being out and about with other kids seems to bring these ideas right to our door. If my daughter was older, maybe we could talk about it. Meanwhile, she sees these kids fighting over "MINE!" and I'm sure it's making a huge impression on her. The sharing idea is just one of the things that makes me feel like avoiding other kids. There are a host of others.

Can you relate? How do you deal? Can you talk me out of the house? (Oh, and BTW I happen to live in IOWA, which is NOT the hotbed of Out of The Box thinking that you may believe it to be... Not hitting your kids seems like a radical notion here. : We're working on relocating, but it may take about a year.)

Yikes.

[NatureMama3]

LOL I completely know what you mean! There are some crunchy people near me, but even then they read Dobson for discpiline advice.

There are CONSTANTLY threats to "do this or I'll spank you" or a swat on a tiny hiney or "don't ______" anon.

DH and I generally just sit there agape and share knowing looks then rant about it in the car.

I SO SO SO wish I knew another GD family IRL.

[nova22]

Doh! NatureMama, I saw your town name and got all excited to see a local mama. There is a Warrenton 30 minutes from me....in Virginia.

To the OP, I feel that way sometimes, too. When I take my son to the playground he prefers to run in the grass and hardly ever uses the equipment. Once, a few other toddlers were there and my son started a little revolt. He was running in the grass having a great time, and the other kids wanted to play with him. The mothers got all in a tizzy and said, "No! That's not how you're supposed to play! You're supposed to use the playground equipment! What are you doing?!" Then they gave my husband dirty looks for letting our son play INCORRECTLY. How dare we allow him to use his own creativity to keep himself entertained. :LOL

[hipumpkins]

Yes! At the park just today DD was just watching a little boy play. She tends to watch children..not far away right next to them Anyway the mom was taking a toy from her son and saying, "be big man and share with the little girl" The boy was just 2...so I think being a big man would be very hard for him. Also my DD did not want the toy. The boy started to cry as the mother took the toy from him and I said, "oh thank you but I think she doesn't want it anyway"
The mom seemed a bit offended.


About the "mine" thing...Often in stores or even with strangers people think it is funny to say to DD who is holding, say, her doll..."Is that my doll? Give me my doll"...That drives me absolutely insane. I feel like she is going to interpret that as the need to hoard her stuff b/c everyone is going to take it. I actually avoid 2 check out woman at the Shop Rite b/c they do this to her.

[HippieMomma2Chloe]

Count me into the lonely crowd! I get so frustrated going out in public sometimes. I'm not one to keep quiet though, if something really rattles me. Take tonight, for instance. I had to go to Wal Mart to grocery shop. Halfway across the store, I hear an infant screaming. I get to the back and passed the mother and father with said screaming infant in her carrier in the cart. The parents were laughing with friends, ignoring the li'l girl. I simply said, "If you hold your baby, she will stop crying." and walked away. Probably rude, but I don't care by the time I've been in that horrid place for more than 10 minutes!
I've decided I need to make an effort to seek out like minded mommas. Loneliness sucks. LOL I have joined our local LLL chapter, I frequent the healthfood stores, and take DD to the bookstore coffee shop when they do things there. So far, no luck. But I'm not giving up yet!

[chalupamom]

Originally Posted by HippieMomma2Chloe

"If you hold your baby, she will stop crying."

Cool! Unfortunately, though, it seems as if they didn't even care that she was crying - didn't faze them one bit. Still, I'm glad you went out on that limb. I'm always so pissed off to see a baby crying and nothing even attempted. Then you sometimes see a really frazzled baby and a parent who is holding and rocking or nuzzling or trying to nurse or in some other way address the baby's unhappiness and I always think that it's o.k. - the crying doesn't bother me because it's part of that natural communication, you know?

As for being lonely, yes, I am. I have one sister who is a screamer - that's her sole method of discipline. Her olded (now 4) has figured out that she can do anything she wants at any time with absolutely no consequences - natural or otherwise - if she can endure 5 minutes of screaming. Her youngest (2) shies away from her and flinches.