Moms who bully and ignore

[ladyshah]

Has anyone else become really irked by moms you see in public who either totally bully their kids for nothing, or ignore them completely when they need something?

Examples:

Walking down the street this summer I saw a mom and tot who couldn't have been more than 18 mos, learning to walk. The little one fell down on the ground and started crying. Does the mom go to him or help out? No, she stand in the middle of the sidewalk, watching him cry and glaring at him with her arms crossed. Lady, your child is learning to walk, fell down, and is scared and frustrated--you want to frustrate him more? Wow.

In the laundromat, there was a kid around 6-7 trying to play one of the video games. He sits on the stool and then gets upset when realizes that a) he can't reach the pedals (it was a car-racing game) and b) mom forgot to give him money. Since the stool was too high up for him, he was scared to get down, so he called for his mom. Mom didn't come. Kid is crying 'Mom, mom, help me get down, I need money!' Was mom busy with her laundry? Nope, she's across the room SLEEPING, on one of the couches. Kid cries "Mom, mom" for about 15 minutes and then starts to really cry. Mom, after a series of "What? I'm not coming over there. Leave me alone," finally says, "If you need money, get down and come here. I'm not bringing it." Kid can't get down. Finally big sister came over and helped him down, and he got the money.

Was that necessary, mom? I felt like going over there like, "You clearly don't care, so why don't I raise him for you? He's too adorable to be treated that way."

Third example..in the same laundromat an 8-year-old kid was helping mom do the clothes. He says, "Mommy." Mom whips around and yells, "Did I ASK you to talk? You don't talk until I tell you to talk. Sit over there NOW and don't move." Kid sits down, then after awhile gets up. Not makes trouble, just STANDS UP. Mom whips around again: "Did I ASK you to get up? Sit your sorry [rear end] down and DON'T MOVE."

Fourth examples: NYC Subway. One mom calls her kid, and I'm not joking, a "f-ing a-hole" for teasing his sister. Another smacks her 2-year-old, audibly, on the legs every time she says "Mommy."

What is WITH some parents???

[Red]

Wow, those were horrible parents!

I think I'd have helped the boy down off the stool, I wouldn't have been able to listen to him beg.

And the sit down and shut up mom could have used a "Should I just call DSS now?", though you never know if you're going to get yourself killed with people that mean!

I do get frustrated, but try to say something helpful, if I can think of anything. Even just to 'sympathize' with the parents will sometimes make them be a bit nicer.

[NatureMama3]

I HATE it.

I was waiting for my DH to get off work one day last week (he works in the county courthouse which is *right* beside the sheriff station) and a lady with 3 kids went walking by in front of the van on the sidewalk. She came up to the intersection (not holding any of their hands) and turned to say something to the 2 older kids. The littler one (maybe 3? if that) just kept walking unaware that Mom had stopped. She's halfway out in the road by the time Mom turns around and sees this. There's a car coming (fortunately THEY saw and had stopped) so what does the Mom do? run into the intersection, pick the girl up by 1 arm, carries her like that to the sidewalk and spanks her SO HARD she fell over. All the while shrieking obscenities at her and tell her how stupid she was.



in front of the sheriff station for crying out loud!!!!! What does she do at HOME?????? :

[Viola]

This is just plain depressing.

[kellykins]

(newbie here!) HI!

I cannot STAND that people would be like that?!?! Do they not understand that children are small people - and have feelings and are AFFECTED by that kind of stuff?

ugh.
Sorry to say, I have a similar report. I was in Sally beauty supply (lots of ookey chemicals and such -little hands shouldnt be alone) and this little boy- maybe 3 or 4 - was running down the aisle, was nearly at the back of the store (mom was checking out) by the time mom realized where he was... then the dreaded one-arm pickup.. and she commanded him to STAND - STAY as if he were a dog. Then he took off again, this time to the door and managed to start pushing the door open and was halfway out before she noticed!! (mind you , there is only a small sidewalk before hitting a VERY VERY busy entrance area of the shopping place) then of course the by-one-arm pickup again, this time evoking tears- then jerking his lil head toward her to make him look at her- and then she tells him "BAD! STAY!" her communication with the poor guy was all commands! Id say maybe she should have gotten a dog instead of having a child, but I can't imagine how she would treat an animal if she treated her child like a dog... eek!

[RN2Bmommy]

Well, I always thought that I would be able to say something to someone in these types of situations until I actually saw one. It was last week in church. The girl couldn't have been more than 12 months old. She kept doing a high pitched yell to hear her own voice echoe during the silence. Of course, that is totally normal behavior, and I would have just brought dd downstairs to the area where children can play. Instead after about 4 times, and the mother telling the baby to be quiet (yeah right). She covers the girls mouth, and the baby turns her head and lets out another yell smiling, and then the mom smacks her in the face. Of course the baby begins to scream, and the mom finally brings her downstairs embarassed that the baby is crying, not that she hit her

I wish I had said something, but was so surprised. I couldn't believe it. It just makes me so depressed to here these stories, and mad at myself for not being stronger.

[TiredX2]

I can't answer this without getting snarky.

[Greensleeves]

Originally Posted by teagan

It was last week in church. The girl couldn't have been more than 12 months old. She kept doing a high pitched yell to hear her own voice echoe during the silence. Of course, that is totally normal behavior, and I would have just brought dd downstairs to the area where children can play. Instead after about 4 times, and the mother telling the baby to be quiet (yeah right). She covers the girls mouth, and the baby turns her head and lets out another yell smiling, and then the mom smacks her in the face. Of course the baby begins to scream, and the mom finally brings her downstairs embarassed that the baby is crying, not that she hit her

Why at a church, of all places? This is just so sad.

I know that if our society had any real support for mothers, these things would happen less often. I think mothers just feel overwhelmed so often. I'm not excusing what these moms have done.

[TeaBag]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

I can't answer this without getting snarky.

That's all I've got to say.

[ladyshah]

It is sad. I think stress on the moms is a part of it, but if you think about it, this is how kids have been disciplined for centuries--the "seen and not heard" type of parenting. : Children have long been beaten and berated and had the problem go ignored--If anyone's read Dave Pelzer's "A Child Called It," you'll see an extreme example of that type of abuse. Although that book is not for weak stomachs.

I think there is a lacking level of respect for these kids, and every time I see it I can't help but wonder how the kid will be affected long-term. Will they end up angry and abusive themselves? On drugs? I know because my mom was emotionally abused all her life and has emotional problems to this day.

I wonder if some of these moms were disciplined that way when they were kids, so they think it's the way to do it.

Tragic!

[MyTwoAs]

Sad that so many of us have stories like this to share. Yesterday at the grocery store a mom about 50 feet away from me (literally) yelled "Hurry up before I beat your [rear end] again!" It was so loud that everyone around me looked in her direction - after she moved I saw that she was yelling at her probably 7 year old son who was pushing a very full shopping cart. My heart just ached for that poor child. If his mom was willing to do that in a very public place, what does she do when no one else is around.

I've read the trilogy of books from Dave Pelzer, heart-breaking, I sobbed.