My father is dying and I can't be with him

[Jennah_Gole]

well its really starting to hit me hard that i can't be with my father as he slowly suffers and dies from lung cancer. i live overseas and i have a one year old and am pregnant with my third child. I put it in my head that i did go and see him six months ago and i was sure i would not have any guilt when he was really passing away since its practically impossible to travel now.

my mom just called at 3:30am to tell me that the hospice care nurses say that death is very close. My mom says he can barely talk and he is breathing extremely hard, he is slurring his words and he is going in and out of consciousness. the nurses say the next step would be him going into a coma.

i can't stop crying and wishing that i was there with my family to help him through this rough end. i am the only one out of my 13 brothers and sisters that moved far away and now i wish i did not. they are all there with him and i am here unable to do a thing not even see him. i don't know what to do i am really really really sad and i did not think i would get this way since i was not that close to my dad. but when i moved away i realized how much i appreciated him and whenever i visited i always made sure to show him that i appreciate him for raising me and teaching me alot of things.

i am just talking and talking i am not sure what anyone can say to me to make me feel better but i am surely in need of some support. cancer is so ugly i wouldn't wish it upon my wourst enemy. i think its an awful way to die and sometimes i think it is not fair to have to die in severe pain or under heavy drugs.

all i can say is i wish i could do something to ease his pain and suffering. i wish i was there. i feel so helpless. i know, i know i can pray for him....and i do but i wish i was with him to hold his hand. i just didn't think i would feel this way.

[TexasSuz]

I am so sorry! I am sure that there is nothing I can really say to make you feel better, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I have a feeling that you would feel helpless even if you were with your father. There really is nothing you can do. Your father knows that you love him and that is all that really matters. Sounds like you have a wonderful family! You are very blessed. You are also a wonderful daughter to feel this deeply about your dad right now. The miles apart don't really matter - love and memories don't know distance, they are in our hearts and minds.

Hugs to you. I wish I could say or do more to help. Allow yourself time to feel what you feel.

Susan

[1jooj]

Praying for you, two_kids. I think about this a lot. My dh is far from his parents, and when we move to Morocco, I'll be far from mine. It's hard to imagine not being able to say goodbye.

I don't know anything I might say to make you feel better. I just hope you find a way through, and I know your father must understand. And I know he must know how terribly sad you are, not being by his side right now. Imagine you are holding his hand. Imagine you are touching his heart.

Praying for your peace, God willing.

Jo

[lisamarie]

(((((hugs)))))) to you and your entire family as you go through this time of loss and grief. Have you spoken with your father on the phone at all? I know you mentioned that he is about to go into a coma, but maybe telling him how you feel and hearing him (even just him on the other line breathing) would bring a little bit of comfort. Also, have you written him a letter? Telling him how much you do appreciate him, love him and miss him. Sending it and having someone read it to him might also bring some comfort to your heart.

We are here to listen and support you~sending much love.

Hugs~

Lisa

[laura1971]

- I am so sorry that you family has to go through this.

Even if you could call him and get to say goodbye it may help you feel a little better.

My mom died from lung cancer last year-it sucked!!!!
Take care of yourself.