Mommas with biracial/interracial children - Page 3

[Calidris]

Hi everyone, I wanted to chime in. I'm half white (German) and half East Indian (from Trinidad, which has had an Indian population for about 150 years) here I'm considered white, because I'm pretty fair, but in the US, I'm generally taken for Hispanic (to the point that people in a store in Miami once got annoyed at me that I couldn't speak Spanish, thought I was being pretentious or something ). DP is very mixed (East Indian, African descent, south European, and some Amerindian) so dd is mixed beyond count.
I happen to also think that mixed babies are the cutest (but of course I'm biased ), but I think that it is the unusualness of the features that tends to make mixed people look interesting and thus attractive. I had a friend who used to refer jokingly to hybrid vigour (a biological concept, used a lot in botany).
There are far fewer issues of racism here because there are 2 approximately equal sized dominant racial groups and an ever growing mixed population. But the "good hair/bad hair" discussions are common of course.

[Ms. Frizzle]

I think I found a tribe for me. I'm french Canadian and Dh is Vietnamese. We have 2 boys!
We have encountered racism a few times, and I was alone with my children both times

[shaywyn]

Hi, I belong here, also :)

I intro'd myself on another thread on this topic several months ago I am caucasion of Welsh/Irish and assorted ancestry (rumored to be some Native American in there too . My dh is African American of unknown origin, although his dream is to one day have enough time and energy to research his family tree.

We have two lovely dd's ages 6yrs and 14 months, who seem to draw in all the usual stereotypical remarks of how pretty mixed kids are from both sides of the color fence. I think people are curious and just don't know what to say, so that's how they open the subject. And, of course, my own children are so spectactularly gorgeous, how can they help themselves! :LOL

I also have two Beautiful stepchildren, dss age 10 and sdd age 12. They are not biracial, so our family is truly a beautiful mix of coordinating colors, dark, light, and in between

We've been married for almost 8 yrs and live in Southeast Michigan, we are also unschoolers, family bed proponets, extended breastfeeding advocates, organic gardeners, etc. So, we get lots of blank stares on our lives, not just because of our interracial family But, I do have to say, where we live, biracial children are everywhere, it's a very mixed area, we are in a suburb of Detroit. I feel for some who are more isolated and may get more unwanted attention than we do. Hugs!

Nice to meet everyone and I, for one, would love to be involved on a regular basis in a forum for "us"

As the OP stated, there are lots of groups for parents/moms like us, but some are not very active and many don't understand some of our philosphies on parenting, although they may try

[KathinJapan]

So happy to have stumbled across this thead. I am a white American living in Japan married to a wonderful Japanese man. We have a beautiful daughter, Maya.

Here when we are out together everybody assumes I am the mom, even though babe looks very much like her daddy. When I took her to the states I was shocked at how many people thought she was adopted. The oddest one was while I was BFing her! LOL.

I am reading a great book called
*Does anybody look like me?* Strategies for parents of multiracial parents.
It is great because it talks about different situations that might come up and suggestions for how to deal with them. It breaks things up in ages groups, what a 3 year old understands about race etc.. and comments he or she might get from peers. I highly recommend this book!

One of my struggles is that her *white* features are praised so highly. I hear comments about how white her skin is and how pretty her hair is etc... All of her features are beautiful.

Warmly,
Kathryn
p.s. I loved all the photos you can check us out on the homepage http://members.aol.com/kathaka59/maya.html

[prophetmother]

There are alot of us around here! Just peeking my head in to say HI!!!!

[shaywyn]

Originally Posted by KathinJapan

I am reading a great book called
*Does anybody look like me?* Strategies for parents of multiracial parents.
It is great because it talks about different situations that might come up and suggestions for how to deal with them. It breaks things up in ages groups, what a 3 year old understands about race etc.. and comments he or she might get from peers. I highly recommend this book!

One of my struggles is that her *white* features are praised so highly. I hear comments about how white her skin is and how pretty her hair is etc... All of her features are beautiful.

You are not alone in those insensitive comments. I have had comments from both sides of the color fence since dd#1 was born, less since dd#2. It was pointed out how light her skin was, she looked white, how straight her hair was, etc. What is amazing and quite sad, is that both races seemed to be consciously or unconsciously implying that the more "white" her features were, the better. Ugh! She is now a lovely shade of brown with super, super curly hair, and her facial features proudly proclaim her heritage! She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, at least until her sister came along and evened up the score, LOL!


Thanks for the book recommendation, I just placed it on hold at our library, looks like a very good read

[fabienne]

So glad to have found you!

I would love a forum dedicated to this topic! I am Haitian with African and German Jewish roots. My husband is Scots/Irish and from the U.S. We are expecting a boy on June 4th! Thanks to Kathryn for the book suggestion. Will definitely check it out. I have been "collecting" book titles for bi/multi-racial and/or black children, and about raising bi/multi-racial children, ever since I knew my husband was "the one." I'd love to hear about books others have found (I'm listing my finds below). Also, anyone else trying to raise a French-English bilingual child?

Books I've found/heard about--this is a hodgepodge of fiction & nonfiction:

-Rain is not my Indian name--Cynthia Leitich Smith
-Tomorrow's children--F. Wardle
-A race is a good thing to have--Janet Helms
-Respecting our differences--Lynn Duvall
-The color of water--James McBride
-Raising the rainbow generation--Hopson & Hopson
-Different and wonderful--Hopson & Hopson
-Black, white, other--Lise Funderberg
-Powerful black women--Jessie Carney Smith
-Less than half, more than whole--Lacapa & Lacapa
-A woman alone--Bessie Head
-Woman of color, daughter of privilege--A. Dickson
-Something terrible happened--B. Porte
-Black is brown is tan--Arnold Adoff
-All the colors we are--Katie Kissinger
-Dim sum, bagels, & grits--Myra Alperson
-Black, white, just right--Marguerite Davol
-I'm chocolate, you're vanilla--Marguerite Wright
-Everyday acts against racism: Raising children in a multiracial world--Maureen T. Reedy

So glad you're all here!

[ZelenyOko]

I too am part of this tribe! While not yet a mommy, we are expecting our first on July 24, 2005 - I can't wait!!!! My DH's heritage is Chinese and mine is Czech, Irish and German (Euro-Mutt). He has black hair and dark brown eyes and I have light brown hair (naturally) and pale green eyes and I am so looking forward to seeing what our baby looks like. While ultimately I know it doesn't matter, I think it would be really neat if he/she had green or hazel eyes.

I am pretty sure that a lot of people will assume that I am the adoptive mother if my husband is not with us, and I'm not sure how I will take that. I try to be very tolerant, but I just don't know. Does anyone have any advice?

[Mother2Amaya]

me! I am American Indian/Caucasian, dh is AA. Our daughter is triracial.

[ondi4]

Biracial kids group

For those of you asking, I do have a group for moms that have biracial kids. If you would like to join I would love to have ya join. Email me at [e-mail] and I will send ya my link and and invite. Its a free site for moms only.

[StillForest]

Great to see this thread! DH is Taiwanese and I'm an English/German/Scottish mutt. Ditto on the insensitive comments. My favorite: How long did you have to wait for her? Uhhhh, the usual 9 months.... We're raising DD bilingual and she has lots of contact with her non-English speaking Chinese grandparents. I also have a 13-year-old DSD who lives with us half the year (also Hapa). She's experienced a lot of racism while living with her white mom in the Southwest.

[Lucky]

I'm glad to have found this thread.

Dc are All-American mutts. Most people assume they are caucasian. Their skin is lighter in the winter, but in the summer it's a golden bronze...people pay to have their beautiful tan. They also have brown hair and dark brown eyes.

I was raised as a Mexican American,(I'm 1/2 Mexican & Cherokee/Irish/German.) Where I live now, there is not much of a Mexican community. Dc learn about the Mexican culture through food, language, and music.

Ds1 is just getting to the age that he is interested in different heritages. He likes to share with others that his grandmother is Mexican and his grandfather is Cherokee. I think it's difficult for people to see ds' ethnicity, when they know dh, (a blue-eyed German w/a little Cherokee.)

[wholegrainmama]

Hi mamas! May I join the tribe? I am a mama of 2 beautiful biracial children; I am white and my dh is african american. We've been together for 12 years, and our dc are 10 and 8.

[kalynnsmom]

Hey guys! I'm Celeste, I'm Hispanic and DH is white. We have a two year old little girl

[ondi4]

Biracial group

For those of you asking, I do have a group for moms that have biracial kids. If you would like to join I would love to have ya join. Email me at [e-mail] and I will send ya my link and and invite. Its a free site for moms only.

Adoptive moms, natural moms, foster moms, anybody raising biracial kids.

[Secret Star]

So glad to find this thread!! My dds are Mexican/Apache/Spanish/French/Irish/English/German/Hungarian...everyone says they "look white". The both have fair skin, huge brown eyes & brown hair.

[ondi4]

Biracial kids

Group for moms of biracial kids http://groups.msn.com/BiracialKidosandmoms

[prophetmother]

Race on Birth Certificates???

We are a very diverse group here, from many different places all over the world and living in the US and abroad. I'm curious about what you are asked to put on your dc's birth certificates regarding race/ethnicity.

I had to fill out a form the other day for dd's birth certificate, and the main part didn't ask for her race, just names, address, & dob. Below, in the section marked for "confidential info for medical and public health use," it asked for things such as my and my dh's occupation and our race. I don't know what that information is used for, but we are leaving it blank.

Anyway, I was just curious about what other states/countries want to know about our children's races...

[happyhippiemama]

Joining in!! DD (18 months) is triracial. I'm a eurowhite mutt: french and irish on my dad's side, german and swiss on my mom's. DD's biological father is half AA and half MA. His mother is very involved in the MA culture.

DD actually looks more hispanic than AA, with just a tiny bit of nappiness in her hair right at the back of her head. She, of course, is amazingly beautiful - which she would be regardless of whom I had sex with and what race they were.

[FroNuff]

Tori,
As far as I know, I've never filled out anything (yet) that has asked for my children's race/ethnicity. Their birth certificates asked what DH and my races (and I think occupation, but I can't remember) are, and I filled them out. I'm in Jersey, btw.

I think once kids start school that the questions for race start coming up. I distinctly remember filling out some type of card when I was in the 1st grade that asked me what languages were spoken in my home, and what race I was. I am sure the school systems ask these things when enrolling a child because I just got a flyer from my town that breaks down enrollment by race. :

Homeschooling is something we are thinking of doing, so I may not have to deal with the silly questions on those forms, but if I have to, I probably will not complete that section. Or fill it in with EVERY ethnic group that they represent.