Mommas with biracial/interracial children - Page 5

[Mother2Amaya]

ughhh...tangles

My 15-month-old triracial (AA/NA/Cauc)dd is starting to FINALLY get hair. It's gorgeous, big dark ringlets... BUT... IT'S TANGLY!!!

Like you would not believe. Now i have relatively wavy hair and i struggle with detangling mine and pull out big wads of hair... but what can I use or HOW do I detangle the head of a wiggly 15-month-old?

Any suggestions?

[marybethorama]

Nice to meet all of you

My dh is AA and I'm white.

We have 3 boys.

We live in rural western MD (near WV and PA) and there are tons of interracial (AA and white) families here so we don't feel like we stand out so much.

I find "No More Tangles" or it's equivalent works great on my kids hair.

Mary Beth of Paul (9), Harry (7), and Timmy (almost 4)

[happyhippiemama]

Originally Posted by Mother2Amaya

My 15-month-old triracial (AA/NA/Cauc)dd is starting to FINALLY get hair. It's gorgeous, big dark ringlets... BUT... IT'S TANGLY!!!

Like you would not believe. Now i have relatively wavy hair and i struggle with detangling mine and pull out big wads of hair... but what can I use or HOW do I detangle the head of a wiggly 15-month-old?

Any suggestions?

I feel your pain. My 22 month old DD is triracial as well (AA/HA/Cauc) and didn't get much hair till about 17 months old, and then it came in practically overnight. It's big floppy curls on top and tight kinky curls in back. I live in Iowa and literally know maybe 3 other-than-white people well enough to consider even acquaintainces, so don't have anyone to ask about how to deal with courser hair.

I tried combing the dreadies out of the back of DD's hair, but that took forever and was not well received by my DD. Then I came home from work one night to find my boyfriend running his great big four inch paddle brush through her oh-my-god extremely frizzed out afro hair. I freaked out.

"You can't run a brush through her hair, I can barely get a comb through it!"

He looks at me like I'm a complete idiot and says "well, I just did, didn't I." Apparently she pitched a fit for the first couple of minutes, then settled back against his chest and let him brush. He just grabs some hair with the edge of the brush and then wiggles it through a little at a time. It takes about ten minutes, and usually by about minute four or five, her eyes are rolling back in her head in ecstasy and she might even fall asleep. :LOL

Not all brushes will do it, my hairbrush for example pulls too much, and another one I bought just doesn't go through. I usually rub a bit of moisturizer in my palms and then through her hair to shape it up, and the frizzies spring right into ringlets that stay fairly dreadie-free for the rest of the day.

good luck. for me, it was complete trial and error (and lucky to have a boyfriend with no preconceived ideas about what one can and cannot do with an interracial child's hair. )

[MamaAllNatural]

Okay, with the super curly hair, you need to get a pick. After you wash it (which yeah, wash normally but you can use extra conditioner) pick it out. It's best if you can do their hair right then when it's wet but I know they're pretty young still to have hairdo's (sp?) overnight. For the day though when you're going to do their hair, pick it out (use a detangler if you need to) but just gently start from the bottom. A pick will comb through it easier than anything else. Then you need to get one of those combs that are half like a regular comb and half a stick with a pointy end. You use the pointy end to part the hair and can use the comb part to comb it nicely for whatever hairdo you're doing.

I must say, I think it's really important to find someone IRL that can teach you how to do you child's hair. I think it's important to the child and it's only fair. I consider it part of my responsibilty in bringing a child of a different race than my own into this world. I've seen some very sad situations where AA children (especially girls) ended up getting some negative messages about their hair (from their own family) and this runs deep. I don't want to go off or anything but this is a really important issue. We had the "hair" discussion in another mixed babies thread and maybe I'll go find it instead of having another huge discussion about it.

[turkeygw]

A few hair tips

I went to this website w/great advice on how to deal w/biracial/aa hair. If anyone wants the site addy, just reply back, because I have to redo a search(lol-yeah i know i should have wrote it down).

Here were some of the tips:
Don't grease your child's scalps(the scalps produces enough of its own oil)
Don't comb your child's hair when it's wet
This is a big NO NO: Only use wide tooth combs, those skinny, fine tooth combs damage hair folicles and cause split ends
Use a deep conditioner(for example I use Motions Conditioner on my daughters hair w/a cap for 15 minutes) The deep conditioner is really good for people w/curly/mixed/aa hair, and leaves hair shiny but more importantly MANAGEABLE
Another No No, don't brush your child's hair(like the fine tooth comb, it damages hair folicles and causes split ends
Avoid products that contain mineral oil or petroleum oil(these clog the hair spores, don't allow the hair to breath, and can cause dandruff
Try not to overdo hair(mechanics-styling)
Don't put braids in too tight
Luster's Pink lotion is also not a good product to use


Again, these tips were for people w/aa/biracial/curly hair, so it may not apply to those whose hair wasn't mentioned above. I learned so many wrong things I was doing to my hair(as well as my daughters), like for example, I never knew how bad it was to use a brush. The lady who gave the tips on the site is Cathy, and she has some awesome products I plan on buying next month for myself, and my daughters. I was so happy to visit this site, and learn the truth about hair. One of the biggest myths, especially in the AA community, is that greasing your scalp helps your hair. Well obviously after reading the info on Cathy's site, I realize that's not true at all. Cathy also has a book, she mentioned on her site for AA women. I forgot the name, but I'm planning on buying that as well.

Hope this helped someone, and I'd be more than happy to give the website addy, just do a reply, then I'll respond back.

[BusyBee11]

Need some advice...

I'm caucasian American and my dh is Moroccan. The paperwork at dd's pediatrician asked for race and I didn't know what to put. When dh is prompted with that question he says "African-Arab".

Does anyone know what I should use for dd?

TIA

[kymholly]

Originally Posted by BusyBee11

I'm caucasian American and my dh is Moroccan. The paperwork at dd's pediatrician asked for race and I didn't know what to put. When dh is prompted with that question he says "African-Arab".

Does anyone know what I should use for dd?

TIA

Personally, I like to live my life outside of the box. As in, I don't answer those types of questions on forms. I'm not interested in fulfilling someone's "quota" and I don't believe that those questions should even be asked. I know that most will call me naive (at best), but how about checking the "other" box & then filling in "human" for race.

[Indigo73]

My answer is along the lines with Kym.

My answer is usually "mixed." I am interracial myself and don't identify with any one race.

[melissa17s]

Busybee11, in most cases human would be sufficient, but with a doctor, check off other and mark in Caucasian and Morocan because there are some medical consideration that are based on ethnic background. Usually they are rare, but it is much easier for a doctor to diagnose if they are aware. I doubt the doctor is asking to fill quotas that is an issue at the state and federal government institutions, but not a privitate practice doctor. To be safe, you could ask why they need to know.

My ped. knows about my dc ethnic background, and when we traveled to S.E. Asia to visit family, she was able to help us find a travel doctor who knew some about cultural customs from the area. He gave us health advice that was not just superficial.

[BusyBee11]

thanks

Excellent advice by all. Thanks!

[USAmma]

Does anyone know of any children's picture books that feature mixed families?

[lunadoula]

Originally Posted by USAmma

Does anyone know of any children's picture books that feature mixed families?

Not sure, but btw bell hooks just came out with a beautiful new book called "Skin Again."

[nora--not a llama]

Hey everyone! I belong here too! Three of my four kiddos are biracial...I am a white American and stbxh is East African. There are not a lot of biracial kids where we live, but I really haven't encountered any negativity...but they are still very young, so we will see as they grow.
As far as the hair products, I found a line of products called "Just For Me" that works well with my kiddos. I use the detangling spray and the conditioner on them.
Blessings.

[boomingranny]

My girlfriend locked my dd's hair and taught me how to maintain it. It really suits her and it seems to go over well with everyone.

[catherine_hogans]

rural/urban living

My hubby and I are trying to figure out the rest of our lives!! ha ha
Anyhoo, how do you all feel about where you are living, in regards to the mix of cultures. We are really thinking about moving. Would you recommend your hometown to a black/white interracial family?

[melissa17s]

catherine_hogans, yes I would recommend my town for an interracial family. It is a college town with 25,000 students. It brings a lot of diversity to an otherwise homogeneous area. I think any town with a large university would probably present a similar relaxed and accepting environment.

[goddesshope]

Hi!

I'm Hope, white, hubby's black, and little Amelia is 13 months old, breastfed, co-sleeps, and is cloth diapered. Can't find too many minds like me either =)

[loular]

Moms of biracial kids living in NY/NJ/CT

I wanted to connect with other moms of biracial kids so I started a meetup group for moms of biracial kids in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut. If you are a mom of a biracial or transracially adopted kid in the area and would like to join visit our website at www.multiculturalmoms.com.

Lou

[ondi4]

Biracial group

For those of you asking, I do have a group for moms that have biracial kids. If you would like to join I would love to have ya join. A few of you have asked for the website, here it is. Free, private locked group, safe and for women only.
http://groups.msn.com/Biracialkidsandmommies

[IvoryQueen]

go super mommies!!

Originally Posted by goddesshope

Hi!

I'm Hope, white, hubby's black, and little Amelia is 13 months old, breastfed, co-sleeps, and is cloth diapered. Can't find too many minds like me either =)

You just found one!! My dd (cauc/AA/a little NA, but who's keeping track..) is 21 months now and fully potty-trained; I am convinced it is largely due to the fact that I had her in cloth, and became fully aware of her "pee pee" schedule ... It is amazing how many people laughed at me for using cloth. The same people don't believe she is already resposible for her bodily functions! Like I am somehow making it all up :

Well I just joined, and I need to put in my $.02 about the hair issue... I agree that trying to make any COC's hair fit into caucasian societal norms sends completely the wrong message... That said, I will share how I keep my dd's hair in control (i.e. tangle free, so I can run my fingers thru it when we are watching Sesame Street, and able for me to pull it into a ponytail to get it out of her face):

When washing, I use Suave detangling kids stuff (nothin' special) and rinse it, then use the same kind of conditioner (it came in a value pack - what can I say?? I let the conditioner set for a while, then I use a wide toothed comb (ALWAYS USE A WIDE TOOTHED COMB) to go thru it gently while it is wet. This helps the conditioner rinse out easier, and it seems to stay "combed out" after the bath well. After baths, I use a leave-in conditioner (we're going with Garnier Fructis right now b/c it's what I use, and it smells so YUMMY!!!)
So there you go... I don't want to ramble too much, this being my first post and all.... Let me know if this helps