Just Finished Degree - Pregnant and Shocked

[loulabelle82]

undefinedSo, here I am with an EDD of 13th June 2005. I have literally just finished my degree here in England, to the point that I have my graduation ceremony in 3 weeks and my ball the day after. I can quite honestly say I am a little shocked and kinda was looking forward to my career which I am now in £20,000 debt for! But in life these things happen. Is anyone else here a young mum (i'm just 22). I have mixed feelings, one moment I am frustrated with the cramps (are these normal? quite sharp) and sore boobs and then I am like, wow, me and Danny (bf - 2 years) are having a baby!

Is all this normal and is anyone else in a similar position - ie: what do I do about my debts and my career?

[NightOwl]

I'm also 22 and just found out yesterday that I'm expecting my first. My fiance is also 22. He's still in college working on his teaching degree and he works part time. I am not in school and I take care of an elderly relative full time. I don't make much money, but I make enough to support myself and this baby. If I had debt...I don't know what I would do. I'm sorry I don't have advice for you there. And I have planned to be a stay at home mom, so career is not a concern for me. (I plan to have a career once my children are all in school) I actually can't quit my job because there is no one else to take care of my great grandmother, but I will have help from my mother.

It sounds like you're feeling the same as I am...excited and happy, but scared at the same time. My pregnancy was planned and we put a lot of thought into this. But it is still scarey in a way. And I think it would be even if I were older and rich or something. lol! The way I see it...there never is a "perfect time" to have a baby. There is always going to be some obstacle or concern. I'm just going to do my best to overcome the obstacles I have and that's all a new mama can do. Just try your best. And know there there are other young expecting mamas with obstacles out there.

[miamommy]

I'm pregnant with number 2, but I became pregnant with number 1 and I had been on my way to film school. It was unplanned, and I can relate to the feelings of happiness and fear! We made some changes in our plans, I ended up getting my degree in English while my dd was a baby. It worked out well, I would nurse her right before class and run home and nurse her right after. As for debt, after I graduated with my BA I went to law school. I went for one year and I hated it. My one year at law school cost twice as much as my BA. I have about twice as much school debt - but I just make the payments, I have consilidated, and you can file for a forebearance for 2 years if you are pregnant/taking care of your baby. Once I stop working, that is what I will do. As far as a career - once I started working, I realized that I don't like working AT ALL. Not in a lazy sense - I write product descriptions and weekly articles which was my dream, but it's not like I thought it would be. It's hard to be a mom and work, some women love it I am sure, but I miss my daughter, I miss being more involved in her school. My plan is to make my career something that I can do and be a full time mom. That would be my suggestion to you, research all of the options in the field that you are interested in and find out if there are ways that you can do it freelance. I plan on going back to school for a masters once the new baby is about 1 or 2 years old, depending on our financial situation.

Sorry if I hijacked your thread, I just wanted you to know that where there's a will there's a way! BTW I am 30 now - how time flies!!!!!

[mclisa]

Welcome! I'm 29, but just finished a masters program in August. I somehow managed with 2 kids only because of a very supportive husband. I'm full of debt ($80k), but I have consolidated the loans. I have a good paying job and hope at some point to have money saved up for my kids so they don't have to go into so much debt for college.

Michelle

[loulabelle82]

Wow, thank you for your replies. I suppose what I need to do is almost pull myself together. $80k, is a lot but so is £20k. I am hoping to start a new home business with my partner so that I can carry on working when my baby is born. Also, as I am quite early on what do I do about the current job apps etc? I suppose if I got one I am not legally obliged to tell about my pregnancy but it does not look good on an employee if I suddenly up and leave really.

I must admit I am a bit of a money spender so I just have to learn how to live on a budget. Also, the sudden realisation that my social life is going to go is hard. I know that an obvious statement but it is hard when your young. Is this selfish?

x

[mclisa]

what do I do about the current job apps etc

Don't say a word. I interviewed for a job while visibly pg and no one mentioned it.

Currently I'm pg and just started a new job and haven't said anything. I feel bad about that knowing I'm going to be taking some time off for maternity leave, but will deal with that when it comes up.

I had to hire a secretary for my new job. I know that she is in her 20's. I assume at some point along the line she will also get pg. What else do you expect when you hire pre-menopausal women?

[loulabelle82]

Yeah, seems like the best option really, especially as I am only 8 weeks and still not really showing.....ok so my boobs are HUGE and my wastline is not as small as August but hey, maybe I just like cakes?

Thanks for the advice, hopefully I'll be back here soon to mention that killer job I got!

:LOL