My Deep Dark Secret

[annettemarie]

OK- here it is. I WANT to embrace Natural Family Living, I really do... I buy organic food and cook it for my family, I buy herbs and homeopathic remedies, I recycle, I breastfeed, I selectively immunize, I get involved with social justice causes, I wear my baby, we co-sleep, I have a garden... BUT...
there is such a HUGE gap between what I want to be doing and what actually happens...

For example...
I buy organic/whole foods but often (a) I end up having no time to cook them because I suck at planning and they go bad or (and this happens often) (b) I cook a nice healthy meal, feed it to everyone, and then go out and get a burger and onion rings because I hate eating my own cooking, and I seriously don't like the taste of healthy food.

I buy herbs and homeopathic remedies, but when things get tough I totally don't trust them and we end up at the doctor's. Or, I won't give my kids tylenol, but I pop it myself all the time.

I try really hard not to shop at Walmart, but sometimes I just sort of go on a binge there.


Ugh. I don't know if this will make any sense to anyone or not. I'm just a little confused as to why there is such a chasm between who I want to be and who I am. Is this part of the human condition, or am I just stupid and lazy?

Annette

[kerc]

who are you doing all these things for? Yep, it is great to eat whole foods, but if you want other stuff, then eat other stuff. Even if it is now and again. If you want to change your life to the natural ways you mention, perhaps the best way is to do it slowly...focus on what you're eating for instance.

sorry to be so brief my timer's going off, gotta get to work.

[guerrillamama]

Annette, I am right there w/ you.

Right now, I'm not beating myself up about it. Life is too difficult, I'm just doing the best I can. When I was pregnant, I did get really good about eating healthy, and one thing that helped me do that was to keep a food diary. I wrote down every single thing I ate. It wasn't as tedious as it sounds, I just had this little notebook I took w/ me everywhere. It made me much more aware of what I was eating, and I made a big deal of congratulating myself whenever I ate well (instead of beating myself up when I did not so well). Also, instead of trying to cut out the "bad" foods, I worked on adding "good" foods. So in other words, focusing on positive not negative. Eventually the good foods did edge out the bad foods. But I had time to cook then.

Speaking of cooking, maybe you need some new recipes? Cuz lots of healthy food tastes really really good. Sounds like there's a problem there. As for planning, what I used to do, and would really really like to do again, was to make huge batches of something, divide it upinto meal-sized containers, and freeze it. So I would have a freezer full of vegetarian chili, dal, and casserole and I would always have a healthy meal ready to nuke whenever I was too busy or brain-dead to cook.

I have NOOO time to cook now, and I just don't understand how I'm supposed to eat healthy when I have no time to cook, can't afford healthy prepared foods, and don't live anywhere near a health food store. But, like I said, I know I'm doing the best I can. I make small commitments, like I always get whole wheat bread, organic milk, and organic eggs. And I congratulate myself for little things, like choosing to drink water instead of soda, or an apple instead of a candy bar. (Altho I succumb to the soda and the candy bar way too often.)

As for your more existentialist question, I think yeah, it's like a human condition type thing. If there wasn't a huge chasm, would that mean you were completely satisfied w/ who you are and don't feel any need to change? I don't want to be like that! I always want to be striving to improve myself, and if I think I've arrived than I have a big problem. So don't worry about it!

[KellyB]

I second the "one thing at a time" idea...that's my method for the moment...and give yourself time for the new ways of doing things to become habit.
I'm in the same boat with a lot of what you said...especially the organic foods going bad. I never cook or eat spinach in time. So what I do is always get the organic foods that naturally last a little longer.
As for you not liking healthy foods...lol...surely you like some of them...who doesn't like veggie lasagna?
Have you tried making a list of the healthy meals you do like? Maybe you could try to figure out one new yummy healthy meal a week? I've had the best luck planning the weeks meals in advance, with a couple of "experiment" days schedueled in..
Try thinking of it like this: What do you like to eat when you eat out?
How can you make it at home with the full yummy factor, but healthier, too?...
What are your favorite spices? Make sure to use lots when you cook...onions, basil, garlic....I think pretty much anything with lots of those can't be too bad...lol...
What do you take tylenol for? This should be easy to change if the answer is headaches...water, water, water...almost all headaches will go away if you drink a bunch of water...
If you have some other type of chronic pain, then I'm not sure what to suggest, though...
Either way....one thing at a time...don't beat yourself up...just keep on keeping on...
Good luck!

[guerrillamama]

oh yeah, my vegetables ALWAYS go bad. strategies to deal w/ this:
1. buy frozen -- often just as healthy as fresh, and when they're cooked you usually cab't tell the difference
2. pre-cook -- take that big bunch of broccoli and steam it right away, then you have it ready to season as a side in the next few meals, or to add to recipes, or just to snack on w/ salad dressing. do this the same day you buy it!!
3. batch cooking -- like i said above, big batches and freeze em.

[Suzannah]

Sort of off topic...

Read Fast Food Nation; I guarantee you won't go out for a burger and onion rings again.

And don't beat yourself up; everyone does the best they can with what they have/know...

[jannan]

can i join you?

you sound just like me. i feed dd tofu and veggies and then go to mc donalds. but you know what? no one is perfect. one day at a time. i'm a work in progress. i really wanted to breastfeed dd but that did n't work out and i wanted to cloth diaper but at that time we lived in an in-law..........i do take the bus when i can. that is one less car on the road. i think with natual living you can take what you need and leave the rest.

stop beating yourself up.

[annettemarie]

Thanks everyone! I figure it's a step up that I am caring for my kids since I grew up on boxed mac and cheese and frozen burritos....
More later : )
Annette

[ChasingPeace]

Oh, annettemarie, I'm right there with you, too! I hate my own cooking, but I have gotten some yummy frozen dinners at Whole Foods that, if not organic (some are--like Amy's), are at least without a lot of added chemicals (I LOVE Linda McCartney's butternut squash ravioli). I've been trying to eat more of them, rather than going out to fast food, but I'm not sure what I'll do once my ds starts eating with me. I've asked for a crockpot for Xmas--maybe that will help?

[annettemarie]

Maybe we should start a tribe- "people who don't particularly enjoy certain aspects of Natural Family Living but try to suck it up and do it anyway because it's best for their families"?

Or is that too long-winded?

Really, I shouldn't try to analyze my life too much right now I guess- I have a nasty cold (flu?) and a big LLL Conference coming up this weekend.
Annette

[Thursday Girl]

I am there too. I thought I was the only one. I do find that my DD has to eat healthy no sweets and I go overboard. My husband jsut asked me to get "regular spaghetti" instead of whole wheat. So i did, but I really like the whole wheat. But next batch.

Where are simple healthy meals??

I mean i see threads about cooking from scratch etc, but i don't have the time.

I want something healthy that takes 15 -30 minutes.

courtney

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by jewelysmommy

I am there too. I thought I was the only one. I do find that my DD has to eat healthy no sweets and I go overboard. My husband jsut asked me to get "regular spaghetti" instead of whole wheat. So i did, but I really like the whole wheat. But next batch.

courtney

Oh my gosh, I thought this was just my husband! He grew up tres mainstream, and has been so good about going along with so many things- co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting, selective vaccinating, organic goods, etc. etc. etc- but the one place he draws the line is organic and/or whole wheat spaghetti. He just can't swallow spending $1.99 on something that's 3 for $1 the next aisle over (and he hates the taste!)

Annette

[kamilla626]

[QUOTE=annettemarie]Maybe we should start a tribe- "people who don't particularly enjoy certain aspects of Natural Family Living but try to suck it up and do it anyway because it's best for their families"?


Sign me up!!

I think we have to remember, that there are no set rules or quotas. Everyone here is on a different place on the continuum. If you had set really high standards for yourself and your family (in terms of NFL) and you only meet them 75% percent of the way... you're still probably doing a heck of a lot better than a lot of us.

[annettemarie]

But.... sometimes it seems here (MDC) like we're being judged on this continuum of whether or not we are "crunchy" enough, KWIM? So, for some at least, there do seem to be rules and quotas. It's almost like, if you cloth diaper, that's not enough, unless you raise your own sheep free-range on an organic diet, and use the wool to spin yarn to knit your own soakers (No one actually said that, and I guess some animal-right activists would have a problem with the wool part!)
I tend to get "perfection paralysis" so I feel like if I can't do it 110%, what's the point?
Working through this, and thanking everyone for their input!
Annette

[philomom]

I agree with a previous poster. Back up and then start again one step at a time.

Baby steps.
Regular pasta made with organic butter or cream. A nice raw veggie or field salad.
Unbleached regular flour mixed partly with whole wheat flour until everyone gets used to the taste.

I'm glad you recycle. My kids are seldom sick so I can't help you with the doctor or medicines. Try to stay out of the wal-mart; for lots of reasons. Make yourself go in there once a month or less.

Good luck.

[juicylucy]

I can relate. I am pretty good at eating healthy most of the time, and I buy 80% organic I'd say. But when I get hungry it comes on really quickly, (I don't plan mealtimes, not for me at least) and I never know what to eat. I need things that are ready immediately, because when I get really hungry I don't have time to cook. So I end up eating icecream or chips (which is bad, even if they are organic and healthier than the usual junk.)

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by juicylucy

So I end up eating icecream or chips (which is bad, even if they are organic and healthier than the usual junk.)

I know what you mean. Remember when Healthy Choice first came out with those pint-sized ice creas, and there were all those coupons? It's not a healthy choice if you eat the whole thing in one sitting!
Annette

[captain optimism]

Your "deep dark secret" is...onion rings?!?! I am so disappointed! I know you are a minister's wife and I was kind of hoping it was something really juicy.

:LOL

Isn't there always a big gap between what we want to be doing and what we actually can do?

Unless you get to be super good at setting realistic goals.
(And I keep trying to set realistic goals and failing because I suck. :LOL )
That was a joke. Hence the emoticon.

Okay, and this is also about food. Why are we so hard on ourselves about food? Did you read this article, "Our National Eating Disorder"? We are just getting down on ourselves for things not being organic instead of getting down on ourselves for eating too much fat, or carbs, or sugar, or food, or something.

Now the medicine stuff is another thing, and I really think that natural medicine is not the same as faith healing. The point of alternative therapies is to give you an alternative, you don't have to totally reject allopathic medicine. What if you broke your arm, would you feel guilty because you didn't have it set by a homeopath? No. (Maybe! I don't know!)

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by captain optimism

Your "deep dark secret" is...onion rings?!?! I am so disappointed! I know you are a minister's wife and I was kind of hoping it was something really juicy.

Oh my gosh, you are too funny! Thanks for the hug and if it makes you feel any better here are a couple other deep dark secrets:

- I hate going to church

- I want to get my belly button pierced

- I want to go see "The Full Monty" at the Community Arts Center, but I'm afraid their will be church members there

Anyway, I know what you're saying. As my therapist keeps counseling me, "It's all about balance." Sometimes, though, I just want to be perfect, right now. Is that so wrong?!?!


Annette

[Mama J Rock]

Originally Posted by jewelysmommy

My husband jsut asked me to get "regular spaghetti" instead of whole wheat.

I remember the first time I tried the whole wheat spaghetti, nobody ate it. I didn't even like it that much. I had fixed it with alfredo sauce and veggies and nobody noticed the change but when I used it with marinara sauce it was definitely different. So I switched back to "regular" but added more and more of the whole wheat spaghetti with it and after a few times, I'm up to half and half so at least we're getting some of the whole wheat but it still tastes "regular". In fact my dh and ds hadn't even noticed it until they saw the leftover spaghetti in the pan and could tell that it was a mix.

As for the OT, I always feel like the more I learn about nutrition and healthy living, the more I wish I could just have my ignorance back sometimes. Ignorance is bliss and while I'm glad to know what I do it would be so much easier if I didn't.