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need some support  

post #1 of 13
8/12/02 at 2:08pm
Thread Starter 
Wednesday will be the 2 year anniversary of my DP's passing. I am feeling very sad today and just wanted to reach out for a little love from my MDC sisters.

He died under traumatic circumstances, in a traumatic time. There was so much that was wrong, and I don't know that we would be together today had he lived. But I loved him so dearly and so profoundly.

I have been blessed to find love again, and to build a beautiful family and new life with my partner. Out of extreme craziness, we were able to build a stable life, and a very sweet life. I try to remain in a constant state of gratitude for our precious, wonderful little daughter and the life we three share. Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy again.

Maybe this is a weird/sad post, but I'm still processing some stuff and I'm not sure how I am going to mark this anniversary this year. Creating a post just felt like a good first step.
post #2 of 13
8/12/02 at 4:35pm
Healing & Hugs to You~

Grief can creep up on us, especially when we think we are doing well. It can also be difficult to find a place for that grief, especially when we have moved on in our lives. Its so draining, difficult and hard to go back to that place.

My dh died by suicide a few years ago. Even though I'm remarried and my ds and I have processed our grief and loss and we have a wonderful family unit now, it can still be tough. Especially on anniverseries, birthdays, etc. I try to prepare myself for those days and be gentle with myself. Coming here to write/vent, getting a massage, giving myself some time to myself or with friends, can also help.

Know that you are not alone ~ big hug.

Warmly~

Lisa
post #3 of 13
8/12/02 at 10:04pm
{{HUGS, HUGS, HUGS}}}
post #4 of 13
8/13/02 at 4:39am
((((( NewMa )))))))

I hope you can find the strength to honor him, but also yourself and your baby and your new partner.
post #5 of 13
8/13/02 at 5:25am
It is always hard to deal with death especially to a loved one. Stay strong and never forget what you once had. Remember how he lived and not how he died.
post #6 of 13
8/13/02 at 12:05pm

New MA-Cyber hugs for you...

Dear New MA,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss...Death is never easy for those who are left behind. But you were given such a special gift- the beautiful gift of love that will surely last for the rest of your life. And to think that you have found love again- this is such a blessing. You must certainly have an angel looking down on you and smiling

love

Take care of yourself and that precious little baby of yours...

Melanie
post #7 of 13
8/14/02 at 6:24am
~~Healing thoughts and prayers~~

Taking time to grieve is really hard to do but it is more helpful in the longrun. Take care of yourself.
post #8 of 13
8/14/02 at 12:07pm
Thread Starter 
thank you all so much for offering your support.

this is truly a wonderful place to come, full of such wonderful and caring mamas.
post #9 of 13
8/15/02 at 1:11am
I'm so sorry I didn't see this post sooner!

I'm glad you posted here, loosing someone is rough no matter what. You have my love and support
post #10 of 13
8/15/02 at 12:44pm
My first dh died 23 years ago, and I still think of him on anniversaries, etc. I always will. It just hurts a little less every year. But like the others have said, Its a blessing to have known love, no matter how short a time with that person. Dont feel guilty for being happy either. You know your partner is looking down and grateful you have gone on with your life and are happy! You would want the same for them too!
post #11 of 13
8/27/02 at 10:35pm
:better New Ma
I too lost my DH, and I have the same questions about our "potential" future together ~ allow me to gently remind you not to dwell there, you have what you have and that is *exactly* what you're supposed to have right now. You were lucky to have had one another and to experience that kind of love. (Can you tell I'm writing this to remind myself as well? I am! ) I just went thru our second wedding anniversary apart, as well as both kids' birthdays ~ I made it!! a bit bruised and battered, we widows tend to do that to ourselves, but I still made it!
I've not yet found the faith (nor the man!) to fall in love like that again... but here, I've found the acceptance and support I've needed when I've really needed it. I hope you do too

Someday, we'll have to together!
post #12 of 13
8/28/02 at 6:24pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you Diana. You rock!!!
post #13 of 13
8/28/02 at 9:15pm
NewMa, I've never walked in your shoes. So, I won't pretend to understand the pain you've gone through. However, I can send my empathy and a gentle hug to you.

Greif is a very unique and individual experience for each person. I feel it's a journey that has no end - only new paths to be explored.

Remember, this is your journey and your feelings are so important and valid. Don't be afraid of them. Let them guide you to the next part of your journey.

Hahamommy, you are such a couragous woman. I've gained so much strenght from you and I know others here have also. Your words are always so kind and full of compassion - yeah, you do rock!!!

What kind of things do you do to remember him? I think it's very important to keep memories of thoes we have lost.

Sending you all gentle hugs.
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