Observations of 3 ~ Support group for parents of Three Year Olds! - Page 2

[charmarty]

Thanks IdentityCM! One more day....


My siggy does in fact refer a tiny bit to my girls being 3. A year ago too many things were all happening at the same time, that phrase is what helped me keep a sense of humor about it.
You asked~

What I want to know is why is three so hard for some of our kids and why didn't I hear about this?

Well, I have asked and asked the same ? To many ppl I meet and discuss the 3 situation. The best answer I can come up with is, That 3 was SO hard that everybody must still be in shock!

[intensity_too]

Originally Posted by mountain

Somedays I think I got it all figured out, then she totally throws one at me. I have to think of all these hellishly creative ways to do what we NEED to do, & forget all the other stuff like trying to shop. you'll see me at the grocery store at 11pm, without kids I can't take it. by the time we get through one aisle, she & her 7yo brother are either running, hysterical, and usually crying...so emotional.

i love her, she's so my heart. but. lord, sign me up for this thread.

I feel you mama. This is my issue as well. Soon as I find something that works . . . the next day it doesn't and no one bothered to inform me of this change. :LOL

[intensity_too]

Thanks ICM for starting this thread. It seems your little idea that came to be because of my thread has been a success. What JOY to know I am not alone on this 3 y/o thing.

My son is spunky, smart, imaginative, head strong, a go getter, a ball of energy . . . . . add those all up and put them in a 3 y/o body with a 3 y/o mind and things can get interesting. Right now my ds is climbing on the computer desk so he can drive his tractor.

Today was a decent day . . . . not too bad. I hate that he can't be more patient. I know at 3 they aren't able to be but, with a younger brother, I can't always do things NOW. He doesn't seem to get that. He demands something as I am nursing the baby and I tell him to give me a minute. Well, that's not good enough so then he has to get destructive, or throw something, or hit me . . . . anyone else having this issue?? I so need to know what to do in situations like this?

UGH! Got to go. DS just hit DH with a play rake. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

[its_our_family]

My ds isn't 3 yet he's 2.5...but I need HELP!!!! He started the whole "terrible 2s" at about 16 months and still going strong. I hear 3 can be worse... I can survive right??

intensity-too-- I was reading your post in parenting issues and thats how I found this thread. My son sounds like yours. He is constantly on the move. Constantly in to everything. His new thing is to do what he knows is a no-no and then go, "I sit, sowwy" We ask him to sit down so he can calm down when he gets too wild. Otherwise there is no talking to him. He even has the apology down! I would say you wouldn't believe the things this kid has done but I bet you would...

My ds1 is terrific. He is super loving and affectionate. He tries really hard to help. But then he turns around and does nothing but kick and scream and throw things. It really isn't safe for Bryce and it scares me!

I'm going to try diet elimination. Anyone else?? I think the first thing to go is sugar. But its going to be hard!

[Angierae]

Originally Posted by intensity_too

I know at 3 they aren't able to be but, with a younger brother, I can't always do things NOW. He doesn't seem to get that. He demands something as I am nursing the baby and I tell him to give me a minute. Well, that's not good enough so then he has to get destructive, or throw something, or hit me . . . . anyone else having this issue?? I so need to know what to do in situations like this?

Same exact problem here!.. Its gotten to the point that when I even look like I am going to ask dd1 to wait or be quiet she starts yelling and saying she needs me right now. The only thing I have tried that works occasionally is to ask her to do something she likes. Like, when I'm nursing dd2 I'll say, "go turn on the sink and fill up the blue bowl for the cat!" Or something like that. As long as it is a physical activity that seems valid she wont hit or pull on me or dd2.

Ah, they need me. We just got a dog and a cat this week to add to the madness!

Hang in there!

[momatheart23]

Sign me up! I just want to know who this kid is and what he did with my son. I mean whoever thought of terrible two really didn't have kids, because two was a walk in the park, and I thought I had this parenting thing mastered and then a month before his 3rd birthday it was like some other kid took my son's place. My DH and I were in the other room for 10 minutes max the other day while my kids were watching a video, or so I thought, I come out and my son has found a Sharpie and drew all over the dining room table, both the leather and fabric couch which we were planning to sell to make money we desperately need, the wall, the door, the big screen TV. I mean I didn't want to look anywhere else for fear he did it in some other spot. I mean we had no sibling sivalry until 3 came along. He is SO smart now too. I have always taught preschool and other people's 3 year olds are easy, but my own, man is it hard. I am so scared too because my oldest is really an "easy" kid and his 3 is tough, I can't imagine what my scorpio, focused, rage machine baby is going to be like when he hits three, can I just : and
. Well glad we started this thread, we can share with others that know the joys of raising a three.

[Scoodlebug]

Oh sign me up! My daughter is three and most of the time she's absolutely fabulous. However, I do think that three is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Two was a cakewalk, three is more than a challenge. I think a lot of it is that she now uses logic to argue. It's a 3 year olds form of logic but it's still logic. Sometimes I think she needs anger management training.

Half the time her mantra is "I want to do it by myself," and the other half she has not interest whatsoever. It's a day to day thing.

I'm glad there is this thread and I was really glad to read all of the other posts. I was starting to feel like the world's worst mother because I swear 3 is a phenomenon that no one talks about.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

It was a good day today. Active ingredients: mom's night out last night, playmate and a house cleaned my DH.

Somehow the combination gave me the incentive to be really adventures with DC. We made playdough, I let them each play with one egg in water ~ WAY fun, we went out and ate French fries, went to a playground by the river and even saw a funky anti-nuclear transportation demonstration.

I must say ~ there's hope, mamas!

BUT, this was a high energy day and I put SO much work into the day. I don't know about you all but some days this felicitator role makes me batty!

Apparently, a little time off from working around the house and the 24/7 with Aya really helps.

I'm thinkin' kid swap!

[grumo]

Ooo Ooo Count me in. DD just turned three last week, and I have been noticing a little more friction around (for the last couple of months, not just the last week!). 2 was also a cakewalk for our family, and DH and I have been surprised by some of the really strong feelings that DD has shown recently. It takes some getting used to.

I'll read more of the discussion and comment more tonight when I have more time.

[bec]

I am sooooo glad to hear that it is the age, not the kid!

Katie is 3 years 7 months. I have a love/hate relationship with this age.

She is basically a very sweet, gentle kid. She adores her little sister, which is a godsend.

I love her imagination, her intelligence, her personality, and her thoughts.

She has started preschool this year and is flourishing. She loves it.

But she has discovered how to whine. And, unfortunately, she has discovered just how it makes me. She's also been throwing massive hour long tantrums over nothing. I know, of course, that the catalyst for the outburst really is more about sleep and emotional endurance than anything else, but it is a little difficult to remember that when she is screaming that we gave her the round cheese instead of the string cheese.

We have been on an emotional rollercoaster since Emily arrived. Emily was born with a cleft palate, but it wasn't discovered until she was 5 weeks old. There was a lot of stress and tension while we figured out what was wrong. When we finally figured out what was going on, I started pumping. It took a while to build my supply up, and for months and months, I was literally tied to the pump for hours and hours each day. It was very difficult and I have had to ask for a lot of patience from Katie. To her immense credit, she has responded wonderfully.

Fast forward to 4 weeks ago. One of our neighbor's passed away. His wife is a friend of mine, and his 3.5 year old little girl is a friend of Katie's. While our stress can't begin to compare to their's, it has had a big impact on Katie. She is suddenly very fearful when Daddy goes out. She wants to know where he is at all times. While she hasn't asked if he is going to die, I think it is clear that it is on her mind. To top it all off, 3 weeks ago, Emily had the surgery to repair her cleft palate. I had to be away from Katie for a night so I could stay with Emily. We had a 10 day recovery period that was very difficult. We had family staying from out of town to help out, and while they were indispensible to me, I think it placed even more stress on her. Needless to say, this has been very difficult for Katie, and I think she has had enough.

I feel like we are getting back to the normal angst that tries 3 year olds, but it has been difficult to tell what is her age, and what is her circumstance.


Bec

[crazy_eights]

Don't currently have a 3 year old, but I remember the wise words of an older friend when my oldest was making me crazy at that age: "The terrible twos get a bad rap, but really it's the threes. A three year old is just a two year old with brains." It's so true! At three they have all the impulse, curiosity and energy that make a dangerous combo at two with the greater dexterity, memory and just plain ol' brain power to make it a particularly dangerous combo. Ever wonder why the preschools of old started with 3 year olds?

[bellflower]

ohmygosh! so nice to hear everyone's stories and know i'm not alone!3 has been so challenging. ok, the wonderful first yes, it's been nice to see her imagination go crazy and to receive all her sweet hugs and loves
but ohmyword! the challenges....

i saw some of you also had new babies and i swear i keep feeling like it's making it more challenging. we're having to stay home more these days, can't run out at a moment's notice to the park, etc. but she's hanging in there, it seems. it's my sanity i'm questioning. and like one of you said, i do miss quiet time with the baby, have been so challenged by it all lately i'm starting to consider preschool which i had not planned on doing yet this year but am wondering how else to ever get a break and i know she'd like it.

OK, here's my most major dilemma and if anyone else is experiencing it,please let me know........

the TALKING BACK and disrespect. we've had alot of "i don't like your stupid words!" "stupid old mommy" a fequent disrespectful ah! or ugh! sort of loud in our face response when we ask her to do something, and an occasional "i hate you" maybe i'll take this to the gentle discipline site too...

good lord, i love her, but good lord, it's been hard. i cherish the sweet moments, the hugs, the hobbit stories and the i love yous. they help get me through!

[shelley4]

two was also pretty easy for us... three is so difficult! he's so stubborn at times, pushing his sister over, taking toys away, trying to hit me or throw a toy at me when he's angry

we need help!

[PumpkinSeeds]

I think age three has been so hard for us because of the new baby. I think a three year age difference has got to be the most difficult of all. Yikes!


Age two wasn't that bad. I think age three wouldn't be that bad if he was an only child. Somehow adding the baby to the mix just jumbles it all up.

Doncha love my articulate way of explaining things?

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Here's one of the most frustrating parts of this stage...

I posted this at around 5pm yesterday:

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

I must say ~ there's hope, mamas!

Then we went to a great party and DC was so sweet and really got involved with the 4 year olds that were there ~ they even performed a circus act and were all wonderful.

THEN, we get home and DC had an HOUR long temper tantrum in the middle of the night over a 'fuzzy thing' and then she wanted her 'other mama' (ouch!) and a whole long rant of things that weren't even possible and, besides, it was 4am! Crazy freak.



The highs and lows are so extreme, ha?

[Copper]

IdentityCrisisMama;
Not to make light of you "fun" evening activities but it was like an instant replay at our house 2 nights ago.
We went to bed (dh and I exhausted and I know she was overly tired as well) she had brushed her teeth, went potty, put her "night-time panty" on had her dolly, good night to pets, read books...we turned out the lights; put the idiot box on (t.v.) for a weather report; she sat STRAIGHT up in bed.
Telling us she cannot sleep with that noise on, she is not tired, she cannot sleep because of this, and that, and that again and on and on and on. How frustrating. I don't even remember much, but we all must have eventually passed out and she slept in a bit that morning. But I swear, this has happened twice already and it so strange...........

[intensity_too]

Just wanted to check in. I don't have the energy to post anything meaningful tonight.

My weekend consisted of . . . 4 1/2 hour car ride . . . . youngest ds's 1st birthday part . . . 4 1/2 hour car ride back. Insert 3 y/o into everything and I *think* you may be able to picture the outcome.

UGH!

[bec]

, Jaime. 9 hours in the car! Congrats on your little one turning 1! Mine will be there in less than 2 months.

We had a pretty good weekend here. Although, I've been fighting a cold. DH took the kids for most of the weekend, so I could rest. Hmm, maybe that's why it seemed so good. :LOL

We've been using Rescue Remedy lately to help with the tantrums. It doesn't act like a light switch, turning the tantrum off, but it does let her get a hold of herself a little easier. She is able to come out of it, with some help. DH keeps telling me we're drugging her, but it doesn't feel like that.


Bec

[intensity_too]

Originally Posted by bec

We've been using Rescue Remedy lately to help with the tantrums. It doesn't act like a light switch, turning the tantrum off, but it does let her get a hold of herself a little easier. She is able to come out of it, with some help. DH keeps telling me we're drugging her, but it doesn't feel like that.


Bec

I've been using Hyland's Calm Forte on Joe . . . sometimes during the day . . . sometimes just at night. I say we are drugging him. My dh says we aren't. I dunno!

[bec]

Maybe it is drugs, but I think it is so innocuous as to not be held in the same class as most medicines, kwim?


Bec