i've been going back and reading birth stories that include c-births ... i hadn't read many of them before, i was so fixated on having a natural childbirth! but now i'm realizing something ... i was truly, truly lucky to have been in so much control of my birth experience. every time i read about how the intervention train started dragging a mom along, tears well up. when it got to the point where i was making no progress, no one pressured me to do anything, my OB just kept giving me the information and asking what i wanted to do. i requested the AROM, and we talked about how i could best position myself to help the baby along her journey. we really did hope AROM would work! when it didn't, and when my cervix got less dilated and effaced and the baby never moved from -3, we started talking about pelvic disproportion and other things. the talk wasn't about "your pelvis is all wrong" but rather "i don't know why the baby isn't moving through your pelvis." Willow had been steadily decel'ing (i forget whether it was during or between contractions). we even talked pitocin, how it was out because she hadn't dropped from -3 even after 28 hours of labor, it'd have the possibility of distressing her very quickly. so i had TIME to think about cesearean ... well, not much time, but enough to ask questions like, "it won't be a vertical incision, will it? can you stitch it rather than staple it? i don't want a seroma!" and so on.
at the time all this struck me as normal. well, normal for me, anyway *grin* i'd done my homework but i guess i didn't realize how much all my reading had influenced me. at first i was just in horror that i was having a cesearean, afraid i'd never be able to bond with the baby, afraid breastfeeding was ruined. but everything is fine! and i'm not sure if that's because i labored and got all the happy hormones flowing, or if that's just wishful thinking. when they told me she had a short cord and it was wrapped twice around her neck, it made sense to me why everything happened the way it did. (but i still have paranoid thoughts that the dr. may have lied to me to make me feel better, not sure if that's realistic or not.)
anyway, i didn't mean to write a book. i just want to say that some c-births are truly necessary and then they are lifesaving. but, there's no way to tell if it's necessary until afterwards, which is crazy-making!! i'm lucky that i made so many of my own decisions, i can always look back and say "not for lack of trying." and i just feel sad that so many unecessary c-births are done and it sucks that no one knows if they truly needed one or not until after it's all done, and sometimes not even then
peace,
meli
at the time all this struck me as normal. well, normal for me, anyway *grin* i'd done my homework but i guess i didn't realize how much all my reading had influenced me. at first i was just in horror that i was having a cesearean, afraid i'd never be able to bond with the baby, afraid breastfeeding was ruined. but everything is fine! and i'm not sure if that's because i labored and got all the happy hormones flowing, or if that's just wishful thinking. when they told me she had a short cord and it was wrapped twice around her neck, it made sense to me why everything happened the way it did. (but i still have paranoid thoughts that the dr. may have lied to me to make me feel better, not sure if that's realistic or not.)
anyway, i didn't mean to write a book. i just want to say that some c-births are truly necessary and then they are lifesaving. but, there's no way to tell if it's necessary until afterwards, which is crazy-making!! i'm lucky that i made so many of my own decisions, i can always look back and say "not for lack of trying." and i just feel sad that so many unecessary c-births are done and it sucks that no one knows if they truly needed one or not until after it's all done, and sometimes not even then
peace,
meli
: So when she broke my water she felt for the baby and that's when we learned why she was still so high...she was a brow presentation...Sheila felt no hair and she has lots! So at that point she looked at me with a sad look and I knew that was it, I was having a c-sec. 
I sobbed and my sister sobbed and Sheila and my mom got all teary...thank goodness my rock of a dh was there. 
...and we roomed in so that went well...I didn't feel really bonded to her until about 3 weeks although the lovey feelings were there big time. 
