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______, 2002 was my due date. I had an appointment with Karen _______, my midwife, to which she brought a bouquet of flowers. She said that even though I wouldn’t have my baby on my due date, I would have these flowers. I expected to go at least one week overdue, so I wasn’t bothered by the passing of my due date without any signs of labor. Karen did the usual things: blood pressure check (it was a little high, but not too much), fundal height measurement, etc. She told me to take it easy and call her if I noticed any signs of labor so she would more available when I needed her.
The next morning dh and I woke up around 10 am and had relations. Afterwards I got up to urinate and clean up. As I walked to the bathroom in my t-shirt, I felt something I assumed was semen running down my leg. When I got to the bathroom, I noticed the semen had mucousy clumps of blood in it. I was having the bloody show! I was excited by this development and, at 10:30 am, decided to phone Karen to let her know. She told me my labor might not start for days so I should just go about my usual business. I also told her I had a slight crampy feeling. It was a barely noticeable sensation low down in my pubic area. She told me to call her back if I noticed any changes.
It was Friday and we had plans to have my father-in-law, who had arrived in _______ from Japan a couple of days previous in the hopes of meeting his first grandchild, over for the Shabbos meal that evening. I decided to take a warm bath before starting our Shabbos preparations. I noted the crampy feeling was coming and going periodically during my warm bath. It was not painful in the least, just a little crampy/pressure feeling. After the bath, I began my day by doing various household tasks. While I was cleaning the kitchen, I discovered I was able to time the contractions. I simply went about tidying up, glancing at the clock as I felt them. They were an average of about 10 minutes apart, although the interval varied. I didn’t feel that I was in labor and I agreed with Karen’s assessment that the birth was probably days away.
Nonetheless, I decided to call Karen again to report my progress. She told me that I might be having prodromal labor, since I had reported BH contractions to her in the previous weeks. She advised me to take a warm bath, saying that if the contractions slowed, it meant I was not yet in active labor, while if they maintained their pace or got closer together I might be on my way to meeting our baby. I took her advice and had a long soak in the tub for the second time that morning. I timed the contractions with our alarm clock. The contractions were between 5 and 10 minutes apart, averaging 7 minutes apart.
I got out of the tub and continued my household chores. One of the chores I did was to place an order for an air conditioner, a HEPA vacuum cleaner, two air purifiers, and filters for the air purifiers over the telephone. The call was a lengthy one, and I remember having to pause and try to concentrate during my contractions several times during my conversation with the sales representative. The contractions were not painful, but when I was having one I found it difficult to think. I remember thinking that the guy must have thought I was a bit weird. I instructed my husband to make up my bed with a plastic tablecloth between two sets of sheets, just in case this was really “it”.
At about 2 pm, dh’s father and brother came over to visit with us. Although my contractions were not painful, they were coming every 6-5 minutes and were becoming more intense. I would describe them as a “consuming sensation”. I was, however, feeling antisocial, so I retreated to my bedroom to be alone. Meanwhile my husband and his family were still making plans for Shabbos that evening. I still wasn’t sure that I was in labor, since I expected to identify labor contractions as painful. I had also told dh that I wasn’t sure if I was in labor so he had no real idea how I was feeling. I rested on my bed in the knees-chest position with a couple pillows beneath my belly. During contractions I would shake my hips from side to side. This seemed to relieve some of the pressure I was feeling on my cervix.
I came out of the bedroom at one point into the living room where my father-in-law was sitting. He asked me something to the effect of when did I think we would be having the baby. I was annoyed and gave him a short curt “I don’t know.” I pulled dh aside and told him I needed him to make his family leave. I was really (maniacally?) insistent about it, which left him confused because he still didn’t know I was in labor. I think he expected me to be screaming in pain. I went back into our bedroom to resume my knees-chest position with the hip shaking during contraction. This was my ritual. It took them a while to leave since they needed to make alternative plans for Shabbos. They left sometime between 4 and 5 pm.
I called Karen again around 5 pm using my cordless phone while still in the knees-chest position on my bed. My alarm clock was positioned next to my head on the bed so that I was able to tell her my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. She told me she would come whenever I wanted her. I think she thought I wasn’t that close yet since I could still talk through the contractions, even though I really had to concentrate in order to be able to do so. I told her I would call back later. I decided to make another call to my friend Valerie _______, who was supposed to be my labor support person. I explained to her that I thought that it would still be a long time to the birth, since I still wasn’t experiencing any real pain, just intense pressure. I told her to come anyway, since she lived over an hour away in _______, but not to hurry if she was busy.
I continued to labor in bed using my ritual hip shaking. I imagined I was shaking the baby’s head away from my cervix (my bottom was higher than the rest of my body). This seemed to relieve the pressure somewhat. I noticed that my contractions were getting stronger, longer, and closer together. At about 6 pm, I called Karen and told her I was ready for her to come, as things seemed to be heating up. My contractions were 3 minutes apart at that point. As I waited to Karen and Valerie, the contractions became, for the first time, painful, although not unbearably so. They weren’t just that feeling of pressure, but a strange grinding-stretching feeling in what I imagined to be my cervix. I got up to light the Shabbos candles on our dining room table and said the bracha with hopes for an easy birth.
Even though she lived only 20 minutes away from my house, it took Karen about an hour and a half to arrive. My husband let her in and she came into our room to observe me. She asked me to tell her when I was having a contraction and watched me. I was still doing my ritual, and had by this time added a low, soft moan during the peak of the rushes. She asked me if I wanted her to do an internal. I was curious how far I’d come, so I said yes. I asked if I had to turn over on my back for the examination and she told me yes. She said that she had seen many women laboring like I was, and they were frequently only 2-3 centimeters dilated. She said she was telling me so that I wouldn’t be discouraged if I still had a long way to go. She did the internal, and while her fingers were still inside, she said, in a surprised voice, that I was, “6—no, 7 centimeters.” Then I felt a release of pressure as she was taking her fingers out. Karen apologized and told me she had broken my waters. She was really apologetic and explained that her thumb had slipped and broken through the membranes. My waters flowed out onto the bed in a small gush. Karen put some towels under me, called her partner, and brought her supplies into the house.
I am uncertain about the sequence of events after this point. I was totally inside myself and only noticed the outside events if it was unavoidable. Karen periodically listened to the baby’s heart tones using Doppler. I had refused the Doppler during pregnancy, but consented to its use at the birth after Karen explained during one of our prenatal visits that it was difficult to hear the baby while the uterus contracted using a fetoscope.
I think Valerie arrived around 8:30 pm. She bought her boyfriend Scott and I asked Karen to make him leave. I had not invited him to the birth, but I think Valerie thought it would be okay for him to come in for a while considering my relaxed manner during our previous phone conversation. He left shortly thereafter. Karen asked me if I wanted Valerie to come into the bedroom, and I said no. I was transitional and did not want to incorporate Valerie into my birth ritual at that point. I was most at peace and in control when I was allowed to labor without interference.
Martine, Karen’s partner midwife, arrived shortly after Valerie did. She also monitored the fetal heart tones periodically with the Doppler. Since I was in the knees-chest position, I had to move around every time they wanted to use it. This broke my concentration and made the contractions more difficult for me. My moans were getting louder and higher, so Karen suggested that I keep my moans low in pitch. This helped me stay in control.
It was the height of summer, and our apartment had no air conditioning, so it was blazing hot, especially for me as I labored. Sometime after Karen arrived I had stripped off my long house robe. Later I asked Karen to get the cold packs from our freezer for me. She got them and gave them to me. I pressed them to my forehead and ripped the hat from my head. I moved the cold pack from my forehead back over my short hair to the back of my neck. I was dripping in sweat.
Karen asked me if I wanted a drink and I told her I would like some grape juice, but to please water it down. I drank a few sips and it tasted very sweet. I felt like throwing up at one point, and asked Karen to get a basin for me. She got the basin, and I retched into it a few times, but did not vomit.
At another time, I could hear dh davening in the living room. Later, I heard him make Kiddush, and Karen brought the cup of wine to me and I took a small sip while still in the knees-chest position. Naturally, I was not able to eat the Shabbos meal after that sip of Kiddush.
Karen told me it was a good idea to go to the bathroom before the pushing stage, so the baby would have plenty of room to move down. I threw a sheet around my body and put my hat back on my head so my husband would not see me. I then walked to the bathroom to try to pee. I sat on the toilet for 15 minutes or so, but could not go. The contractions I had while sitting there were so intense and painful. I stood up and grabbed a hold of a shelf opposite the toilet. As I held onto the edge of the shelf I moved my body up and down like I was about to squat, but not going so low. I wasn’t really putting my weight on the shelf, as I knew it was not attached to the wall securely. Karen knocked on the bathroom door, came in, saw what I was doing, and became concerned that I would pull the shelf down. I couldn’t go anyway, so I returned to the bedroom.
I had labored a little while longer in the bedroom when Karen told me I was making little grunting sounds. She suggested that maybe I was ready to push. It was approximately 9:30 pm. I tried weakly pushing in the knees-chest position for a few minutes. I couldn’t feel the contractions very much any more and was just happy to have a rest. There was no pain or urge to push so I really just wanted to collapse from fatigue on my pillows. Karen and Martine, however, thought I should try pushing in a different position. I wanted to meet my baby, so I went along with their recommendations and got into a side-lying position with pillows behind my back. I pushed once during each contraction, and my midwives told me I should try to push more than once during each contraction. They encouraged me by saying, “Push! Push!” I pushed as hard as I could as I tried to visualize my baby moving o-u-t of me. Karen was located down by my bottom, while Martine was at my side, holding my leg and hand. She squeezed my hand and encouraged my pushing in a way I found comforting.
Eventually, they told me that the baby’s head was crowning. I felt myself being stretched open, but felt no pain. The sensation was comparable to having a huge bowel movement. There was no “ring of fire” and I instinctively panted though the contractions that pushed my baby out of my body into Karen’s hands.
She placed the baby on my belly. The baby’s limbs were tense about her torso, which was covered by the most perfect dewy skin. I lifted my babe and quickly looked between her legs and discovered that she was a daughter. Her eyes were open and she looked at me sweetly. She seemed calm and peaceful. She coughed a bit and I could see her back rise and fall as she breathed. Karen took her and jostled her to make her cry. Valerie peeked her head into the room when the baby cried. I took my baby back and cradled her in my arms. Her breathing sounded a little mucousy, but she was doing fine. I tried to nurse her, but she wasn’t yet interested.
Karen wondered aloud when the placenta would come, then she looked at my vagina and said, “Oh, there it is.” She removed the placenta from my vagina, felt the cord, clamped, and cut it. She cleaned me up and put new chucks pads under me. We invited dh in first. I covered myself with a sheet and introduced our baby to her father. We then invited Valerie in too. They took turns holding her. We were all in awe of the beautiful neshama (soul) now among us.
I tried to nurse her, but had trouble with getting her latched on. Karen took the baby, looked her over, and weighed her. She weighed 6 lb. 13 oz. The midwives continued to clean up their supplies and me. Karen examined my vulva and vagina and told me I had not torn. Karen and I worked some more on getting my daughter to latch on. We weren’t quite sure that the latch was right and I had difficulties keeping her positioned at the breast. Karen said she’d be over Sunday to see how we were doing and make sure breastfeeding was working out.
After the midwives had left and the baby had fallen asleep, I took a shower. I looked at my new figure in the mirror. My belly looked deflated like an old balloon and my hips showed their stretch marks. I stuck out my chest and felt that I had never been so beautiful. I was powerful, creative, and high on the intense hormones of new motherhood.
The next day my husband named our daughter _____________ at the Shabbos mincha service. We enjoyed the Shabbos rest, overwhelmed with love and wonder at our precious Shabbos blessing.
______, 2002 was my due date. I had an appointment with Karen _______, my midwife, to which she brought a bouquet of flowers. She said that even though I wouldn’t have my baby on my due date, I would have these flowers. I expected to go at least one week overdue, so I wasn’t bothered by the passing of my due date without any signs of labor. Karen did the usual things: blood pressure check (it was a little high, but not too much), fundal height measurement, etc. She told me to take it easy and call her if I noticed any signs of labor so she would more available when I needed her.
The next morning dh and I woke up around 10 am and had relations. Afterwards I got up to urinate and clean up. As I walked to the bathroom in my t-shirt, I felt something I assumed was semen running down my leg. When I got to the bathroom, I noticed the semen had mucousy clumps of blood in it. I was having the bloody show! I was excited by this development and, at 10:30 am, decided to phone Karen to let her know. She told me my labor might not start for days so I should just go about my usual business. I also told her I had a slight crampy feeling. It was a barely noticeable sensation low down in my pubic area. She told me to call her back if I noticed any changes.
It was Friday and we had plans to have my father-in-law, who had arrived in _______ from Japan a couple of days previous in the hopes of meeting his first grandchild, over for the Shabbos meal that evening. I decided to take a warm bath before starting our Shabbos preparations. I noted the crampy feeling was coming and going periodically during my warm bath. It was not painful in the least, just a little crampy/pressure feeling. After the bath, I began my day by doing various household tasks. While I was cleaning the kitchen, I discovered I was able to time the contractions. I simply went about tidying up, glancing at the clock as I felt them. They were an average of about 10 minutes apart, although the interval varied. I didn’t feel that I was in labor and I agreed with Karen’s assessment that the birth was probably days away.
Nonetheless, I decided to call Karen again to report my progress. She told me that I might be having prodromal labor, since I had reported BH contractions to her in the previous weeks. She advised me to take a warm bath, saying that if the contractions slowed, it meant I was not yet in active labor, while if they maintained their pace or got closer together I might be on my way to meeting our baby. I took her advice and had a long soak in the tub for the second time that morning. I timed the contractions with our alarm clock. The contractions were between 5 and 10 minutes apart, averaging 7 minutes apart.
I got out of the tub and continued my household chores. One of the chores I did was to place an order for an air conditioner, a HEPA vacuum cleaner, two air purifiers, and filters for the air purifiers over the telephone. The call was a lengthy one, and I remember having to pause and try to concentrate during my contractions several times during my conversation with the sales representative. The contractions were not painful, but when I was having one I found it difficult to think. I remember thinking that the guy must have thought I was a bit weird. I instructed my husband to make up my bed with a plastic tablecloth between two sets of sheets, just in case this was really “it”.
At about 2 pm, dh’s father and brother came over to visit with us. Although my contractions were not painful, they were coming every 6-5 minutes and were becoming more intense. I would describe them as a “consuming sensation”. I was, however, feeling antisocial, so I retreated to my bedroom to be alone. Meanwhile my husband and his family were still making plans for Shabbos that evening. I still wasn’t sure that I was in labor, since I expected to identify labor contractions as painful. I had also told dh that I wasn’t sure if I was in labor so he had no real idea how I was feeling. I rested on my bed in the knees-chest position with a couple pillows beneath my belly. During contractions I would shake my hips from side to side. This seemed to relieve some of the pressure I was feeling on my cervix.
I came out of the bedroom at one point into the living room where my father-in-law was sitting. He asked me something to the effect of when did I think we would be having the baby. I was annoyed and gave him a short curt “I don’t know.” I pulled dh aside and told him I needed him to make his family leave. I was really (maniacally?) insistent about it, which left him confused because he still didn’t know I was in labor. I think he expected me to be screaming in pain. I went back into our bedroom to resume my knees-chest position with the hip shaking during contraction. This was my ritual. It took them a while to leave since they needed to make alternative plans for Shabbos. They left sometime between 4 and 5 pm.
I called Karen again around 5 pm using my cordless phone while still in the knees-chest position on my bed. My alarm clock was positioned next to my head on the bed so that I was able to tell her my contractions were about 5 minutes apart. She told me she would come whenever I wanted her. I think she thought I wasn’t that close yet since I could still talk through the contractions, even though I really had to concentrate in order to be able to do so. I told her I would call back later. I decided to make another call to my friend Valerie _______, who was supposed to be my labor support person. I explained to her that I thought that it would still be a long time to the birth, since I still wasn’t experiencing any real pain, just intense pressure. I told her to come anyway, since she lived over an hour away in _______, but not to hurry if she was busy.
I continued to labor in bed using my ritual hip shaking. I imagined I was shaking the baby’s head away from my cervix (my bottom was higher than the rest of my body). This seemed to relieve the pressure somewhat. I noticed that my contractions were getting stronger, longer, and closer together. At about 6 pm, I called Karen and told her I was ready for her to come, as things seemed to be heating up. My contractions were 3 minutes apart at that point. As I waited to Karen and Valerie, the contractions became, for the first time, painful, although not unbearably so. They weren’t just that feeling of pressure, but a strange grinding-stretching feeling in what I imagined to be my cervix. I got up to light the Shabbos candles on our dining room table and said the bracha with hopes for an easy birth.
Even though she lived only 20 minutes away from my house, it took Karen about an hour and a half to arrive. My husband let her in and she came into our room to observe me. She asked me to tell her when I was having a contraction and watched me. I was still doing my ritual, and had by this time added a low, soft moan during the peak of the rushes. She asked me if I wanted her to do an internal. I was curious how far I’d come, so I said yes. I asked if I had to turn over on my back for the examination and she told me yes. She said that she had seen many women laboring like I was, and they were frequently only 2-3 centimeters dilated. She said she was telling me so that I wouldn’t be discouraged if I still had a long way to go. She did the internal, and while her fingers were still inside, she said, in a surprised voice, that I was, “6—no, 7 centimeters.” Then I felt a release of pressure as she was taking her fingers out. Karen apologized and told me she had broken my waters. She was really apologetic and explained that her thumb had slipped and broken through the membranes. My waters flowed out onto the bed in a small gush. Karen put some towels under me, called her partner, and brought her supplies into the house.
I am uncertain about the sequence of events after this point. I was totally inside myself and only noticed the outside events if it was unavoidable. Karen periodically listened to the baby’s heart tones using Doppler. I had refused the Doppler during pregnancy, but consented to its use at the birth after Karen explained during one of our prenatal visits that it was difficult to hear the baby while the uterus contracted using a fetoscope.
I think Valerie arrived around 8:30 pm. She bought her boyfriend Scott and I asked Karen to make him leave. I had not invited him to the birth, but I think Valerie thought it would be okay for him to come in for a while considering my relaxed manner during our previous phone conversation. He left shortly thereafter. Karen asked me if I wanted Valerie to come into the bedroom, and I said no. I was transitional and did not want to incorporate Valerie into my birth ritual at that point. I was most at peace and in control when I was allowed to labor without interference.
Martine, Karen’s partner midwife, arrived shortly after Valerie did. She also monitored the fetal heart tones periodically with the Doppler. Since I was in the knees-chest position, I had to move around every time they wanted to use it. This broke my concentration and made the contractions more difficult for me. My moans were getting louder and higher, so Karen suggested that I keep my moans low in pitch. This helped me stay in control.
It was the height of summer, and our apartment had no air conditioning, so it was blazing hot, especially for me as I labored. Sometime after Karen arrived I had stripped off my long house robe. Later I asked Karen to get the cold packs from our freezer for me. She got them and gave them to me. I pressed them to my forehead and ripped the hat from my head. I moved the cold pack from my forehead back over my short hair to the back of my neck. I was dripping in sweat.
Karen asked me if I wanted a drink and I told her I would like some grape juice, but to please water it down. I drank a few sips and it tasted very sweet. I felt like throwing up at one point, and asked Karen to get a basin for me. She got the basin, and I retched into it a few times, but did not vomit.
At another time, I could hear dh davening in the living room. Later, I heard him make Kiddush, and Karen brought the cup of wine to me and I took a small sip while still in the knees-chest position. Naturally, I was not able to eat the Shabbos meal after that sip of Kiddush.
Karen told me it was a good idea to go to the bathroom before the pushing stage, so the baby would have plenty of room to move down. I threw a sheet around my body and put my hat back on my head so my husband would not see me. I then walked to the bathroom to try to pee. I sat on the toilet for 15 minutes or so, but could not go. The contractions I had while sitting there were so intense and painful. I stood up and grabbed a hold of a shelf opposite the toilet. As I held onto the edge of the shelf I moved my body up and down like I was about to squat, but not going so low. I wasn’t really putting my weight on the shelf, as I knew it was not attached to the wall securely. Karen knocked on the bathroom door, came in, saw what I was doing, and became concerned that I would pull the shelf down. I couldn’t go anyway, so I returned to the bedroom.
I had labored a little while longer in the bedroom when Karen told me I was making little grunting sounds. She suggested that maybe I was ready to push. It was approximately 9:30 pm. I tried weakly pushing in the knees-chest position for a few minutes. I couldn’t feel the contractions very much any more and was just happy to have a rest. There was no pain or urge to push so I really just wanted to collapse from fatigue on my pillows. Karen and Martine, however, thought I should try pushing in a different position. I wanted to meet my baby, so I went along with their recommendations and got into a side-lying position with pillows behind my back. I pushed once during each contraction, and my midwives told me I should try to push more than once during each contraction. They encouraged me by saying, “Push! Push!” I pushed as hard as I could as I tried to visualize my baby moving o-u-t of me. Karen was located down by my bottom, while Martine was at my side, holding my leg and hand. She squeezed my hand and encouraged my pushing in a way I found comforting.
Eventually, they told me that the baby’s head was crowning. I felt myself being stretched open, but felt no pain. The sensation was comparable to having a huge bowel movement. There was no “ring of fire” and I instinctively panted though the contractions that pushed my baby out of my body into Karen’s hands.
She placed the baby on my belly. The baby’s limbs were tense about her torso, which was covered by the most perfect dewy skin. I lifted my babe and quickly looked between her legs and discovered that she was a daughter. Her eyes were open and she looked at me sweetly. She seemed calm and peaceful. She coughed a bit and I could see her back rise and fall as she breathed. Karen took her and jostled her to make her cry. Valerie peeked her head into the room when the baby cried. I took my baby back and cradled her in my arms. Her breathing sounded a little mucousy, but she was doing fine. I tried to nurse her, but she wasn’t yet interested.
Karen wondered aloud when the placenta would come, then she looked at my vagina and said, “Oh, there it is.” She removed the placenta from my vagina, felt the cord, clamped, and cut it. She cleaned me up and put new chucks pads under me. We invited dh in first. I covered myself with a sheet and introduced our baby to her father. We then invited Valerie in too. They took turns holding her. We were all in awe of the beautiful neshama (soul) now among us.
I tried to nurse her, but had trouble with getting her latched on. Karen took the baby, looked her over, and weighed her. She weighed 6 lb. 13 oz. The midwives continued to clean up their supplies and me. Karen examined my vulva and vagina and told me I had not torn. Karen and I worked some more on getting my daughter to latch on. We weren’t quite sure that the latch was right and I had difficulties keeping her positioned at the breast. Karen said she’d be over Sunday to see how we were doing and make sure breastfeeding was working out.
After the midwives had left and the baby had fallen asleep, I took a shower. I looked at my new figure in the mirror. My belly looked deflated like an old balloon and my hips showed their stretch marks. I stuck out my chest and felt that I had never been so beautiful. I was powerful, creative, and high on the intense hormones of new motherhood.
The next day my husband named our daughter _____________ at the Shabbos mincha service. We enjoyed the Shabbos rest, overwhelmed with love and wonder at our precious Shabbos blessing.
Beautiful!
