AntiNIP America, I can't stand it anymore - Page 5

[EviesMom]

I know I'm late...

Sorry VelcroMom!

I am still working on that piece! I got slammed with some work stuff and a nonsleeper last night, so I've fallen behind. Can I make a new commitment to sending it Wed. evening? (I'm usually pretty good with deadlines, but I overcommited myself last weekend!)

A side note: I LOVE your username!

[velcromom]

Originally Posted by EviesMom

Sorry VelcroMom!

I am still working on that piece! I got slammed with some work stuff and a nonsleeper last night, so I've fallen behind. Can I make a new commitment to sending it Wed. evening? (I'm usually pretty good with deadlines, but I overcommited myself last weekend!)

A side note: I LOVE your username!

Oh don't even stress over it. Take care of yourself & get caught up on your sleep! I am working on this at a flexible pace - life happens -
I tried to do some work on it today and just found it impossible to concentrate, scanned over some documents, made notes and ordered a Dettwyler book I've wanted, some days it's all you can do... It'll all come together.

[velcromom]

Well it's a bit ironic the comments I made in my last post... it has been some time and quite a lot of life happening since I last worked on this project. I posted about it in a separate thread but since that isn't generating many views and fewer responses, I thought I'd update this one.

Here is what's going on right now, finally got back to the task of fleshing out the outline and have started my rough draft.


Ok this is a few paragraphs under the heading "A Disapproving Culture", a brief mention of why it's become so taboo to NIP and why I'm doing this project.
Of course this is a rough draft, and this portion is meant to be short, just to give it a nod and get on with the action. It's an introduction essentially. I am writing this trying to keep in mind that it may take the form of either written media, visual media or spoken material. (gah, me doing public speaking??? We'll work on that!)
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1. A Disapproving Culture
a. why our culture is uncomfortable with NIP



I think most women understand that sexualization of the breast, and its relentless portrayal as an exclusively sexual part in the media, clearly creates issues when women try to defy the stereotype and use their breasts for something other than wet tshirt contests and beer ads.

We end up with comments about nursing and nursing in public being “disgusting” or “perverted”. We end up with people who assign sexual attributes to an activity that is not sexual. We end up with moms who feel shamed for the mere thought of breastfeeding in front of other people. In some cases, we even end up with moms who won’t nurse even in front of their own husband, or worse, we end up degrading the act of feeding our infant from a normal biological process to an act of consumerism, abandoning breastfeeding altogether.

I am sure there are those who would focus their efforts on changing the perceptions of those who are opposed to NIP, in order to make it less difficult and stressful for moms to do so. I will leave that up to those with more patience and tact than myself. Realistically, there are just those who will not change their minds no matter what.

I’m not concerned with them other than communicating to nursing moms how to deal with their disapproval. What I want to do here is to empower moms to NIP without fear or embarrassment in spite of the potential for disapproval. We can’t wait for the opposition to come around. Our babies need to be breastfed now.

In rejecting the inappropriate sense of shame induced by a culture that eroticizes breasts, we will bring nursing back to the normal everyday, everywhere parenting activity it is, allow more babies the gift of being breastfed, and give upcoming generations the opportunity to adopt a new, healthier view of breastfeeding.


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[MyLittleWonders]

Subscribing and wanted to say, that sounds great!

[Peppamint]

Sounds good!

[DeepGreen29]

This sounds so wonderful. NIP is a subject that can come up in a casual conversation with mom friends...I would love to point them to your site!

Please post your outline again with what text you need worked on.

Also, I'm sure you will be needing lots of nursing pics. I have some with my toddler I'd be happy to release.

[HyphenCBE]

Tons of stuff have been happening in my life, so I vanished from this site, but I was just thinking about this thread not long ago. I'm so glad to see it hasn't died.

[wannabe]

What about a campaign like the "got milk?" campaign, but with people nursing their babies, of all ages? You could call it, mmmm... "got milk?" JK! In all seriousness, I think more images of moms NIP in the media would do a world of good. Billboards, ads, characters in movies and tv.

Have you seen the ABA ad of a guy eating his lunch in the toilet? It's great - his sandwich is resting on his lap, and his drink is on the toilet roll.

http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/media/index.html
(at the top, where it says download TV ads)

[neverdoingitagain]

Hi, just wanted to chime in and add my support
I love this forum so much, it has opened my eyes to alot, and I learn all sorts of great things to get riled up about :LOL (I need a life) : :LOL
Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this, I did read all the posts, but I had to skim a bit since some were extra long, and I'm going cross-eyed
One of the big reasons feminist groups pushed bottle/formula feeding in the '70's(yup, partially woman fault, we always seem to somehow shoot ourselves in the foot!) was due to choice. They figured a woman who bf'ed was oppressed since,naturally, she HAD to stay home and bf! (notice no mention of making bfing legal in public,extended coffee breaks for bf'ing woman,etc) the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and the squeakest wheels were college woman who did not have children and were pissed off at the thought they would become housewives and mothers(meaning useless) and not do what they wanted with their lives.
Okay, they did wonderful stuff, by pushing for equal rights, but they also seemed to try to suppress woman, by taking away the honor in being a mother. All or nothing.
I will say, most of this I got from my mother and from her experiences. She had us(three kids) in the '70's and she was the ONLY woman who wanted to bf(unfortunately, this was only with my sis, which wasn't successful, really sucky info and no support helped destroy her bf'ing relationship) I digress...
Anyway, she often heard comments from "friends" that bf'ing was degrading to woman, that it takes the choice and control away from woman, and thank god there was formula, cuz that meant woman could be as productive as men and be treated equally.
I hope my rambling makes sense to you. My point(and I do have one! : :LOL ) is that this is a part of the baby boom generations mentality, usually amongst educated women who took part of the feminist movement. Its been taught to my generation, which is why its so prevatant today. So it might be a idea to get into the time-line and evloution of the idea that formula is best, along with the sexualization of the female breast(as opposed to the male ) Knowing where it comes from tends to demystify the reasoning behind it, and (in my case, tick the person off, because they have been manipulated into thinking something that is completely unnatural)

I'm going to stop writing now, and hope that it helps with your campaign in some way
GOOD LUCK!!!! :
Tannis
Shekinah 5/10/04

[velcromom]

Yes, it's true that some feminists see breastfeeding advocacy as a subversive ploy to keep women down, I will try to work the concept of NIP as an aspect of nursing that is freeing to women into the content of this essay as I go. Good point and one I have seen too but hadn't included in the outline. Man is it hard to be comprehensive and still stay focused on one topic!!

DeepGreen - I do need pics, I will pm you when I have time & work out a way for you to get them to me.

Hyphen - glad to see you back too, I was just reading through your thesis again today.

wannabe - isn't that ad just spot-on!!! I wish they'd show it on prime time tv on one of the major networks.

Have more to post but am dashing in here when I need to be finishing up dinner - will get back to it later.

[velcromom]

Ok, another section:


The immediate sources of anti – NIP pressure and disapproval, while sharing a common root cause, are as varied as the situations moms find themselves in with their babies.
Some mothers find disapproval within their own homes or families, as family members unfamiliar with breastfeeding may find it difficult to make the distinction between maternal intimacy and sexual intimacy and discourage new moms from being seen nursing.
Others are well supported at home but dread the looks or comments of friends, acquaintances and strangers when they are out and about with their baby.
Another source of anti-NIP pressure is a feeling of shame and embarrassment generated when a mother internalizes negative cultural messages about breastfeeding, breasts, sexuality or women in general. Our culture gives women the message (both overtly and subtly) that her breasts are sexual and that breastfeeding is therefore sexual in nature and should be private, and so some mothers may feel very hesitant to nurse when not at home. One result of this shame and embarrassment can be moms who feel as though they are too shy or modest to nurse in public.

[velcromom]

bump


Got a new section in the works, will be coming up soon!

Feel free to add post comments, mamas, it's good to hear your thoughts. You all keep me going.

[malibusunny]

ooh, loving this.

[velcromom]

More... re:- how isolation affects women and how pressure to nurse only in private can disrupt the breastfeeding relationship


When a new mother brings her baby home one of the first things she realizes is that babies nurse a lot. A whole lot. Once they are settled in as a nursing couple, it would be logistically unreasonable as well as psychologically undesirable to try to nurse only at home. Social support, whether it be from family members or friends or nursing support groups, is very important for mothers of infants. Isolation from that support results in


ok right there I am still working on a paragraph that briefly lists the disadvantages of being stuck at home, with emphasis on the psychological aspect. If anyone has links to info on this particular topic I am still looking for more.
Also helpful would be to hear your stories about this - if you did not NIP, how you feel it affected you and the bf relationship, or if you nip'd all the time how you feel it benefitted you and the bf relationship.


Pressure not to nurse outside the home isn’t just about who might see what, it has implications for the health of both mother and child. It also creates artificial limits on what should and can be a simple, convenient process that affords a new mom the freedom she needs to maintain important social ties.

Some moms who are reluctant to nurse in public may try to make it back home before baby needs to nurse. Breastfeeding experts as well as major health organizations recommend feeding infants on cue, in order to support healthy milk supply and assure the baby gets the nutrition they need. Trying to schedule nursing around errands or social events disrupts a mom’s ability to nurse on cue. Scheduled nursing is associated with loss of milk supply and eventual failure of the nursing relationship. In addition to putting milk supply at risk, scheduling nursing sessions to avoid public breastfeeding also strictly limits a mothers opportunity to socialize or even complete simple errands.

Other moms turn to formula to feed their baby while out. While this may seem like a simple and easy solution, it too has drawbacks most people are unaware of that can disrupt the breastfeeding relationship. It can reduce the mother’s milk supply and lead to intestinal troubles and allergy problems for the baby. In addition, a woman may experience painful engorgement if she gives a bottle instead of nursing – her breasts will have filled in expectation of nursing, and this, when she skips a feeding, may cause her to become painfully overfull and may result in a clogged duct or worse, mastitis.

[mom2jolakeil]

You might want to mention resentment. I am comfortable NIP now, but when I had my oldest I HATED having to "go hide" because I wasn't feeling comfortable. It took me a bit (I think it took a month before I decided hanging out was more important than hiding ). But I honestly started resenting having to "hide" every few hours.

I'm PMing you about the pics. I had posted, but thought better of it

[velcromom]

Sarah, when you felt resentful about "having" to go hide, did you feel resentful about the breastfeeding (like, dang if I was ff I wouldn't have to go off and hide to feed my baby!) or did you feel resentful of the pressure you felt not to NIP? Clearly in the end you did take responsibility for your own negative feelings and chose to change the situation by responding to it differently. That's just what I hope to be able to support other moms in doing so I am very interested in the process that brought you to that choice.

I'd like to hear more about the thoughts that went thru your mind during the process of first feeling like you had to hide, then starting to get mad about it, then deciding not to hide anymore.

[mom2jolakeil]

Originally Posted by velcromom

Sarah, when you felt resentful about "having" to go hide, did you feel resentful about the breastfeeding (like, dang if I was ff I wouldn't have to go off and hide to feed my baby!) or did you feel resentful of the pressure you felt not to NIP? Clearly in the end you did take responsibility for your own negative feelings and chose to change the situation by responding to it differently. That's just what I hope to be able to support other moms in doing so I am very interested in the process that brought you to that choice.

I'd like to hear more about the thoughts that went thru your mind during the process of first feeling like you had to hide, then starting to get mad about it, then deciding not to hide anymore.

NAK (a big monkey who's taking "pictures", maybe to send to you and trying to talk :LOL )
I think it was the pressure to go hide that made me resentful. It never really crossed my mind to use formula. I really felt like "if I don't get breastfeeding down, my baby will starve" (too bad more new mamas don't think that way!). But I remember being so frustrated that everytime she got hungry I had to go grab a blanket (had to get her used to the blanket ), find someplace sanitary where no one was and pop her on the breast, or deal with my man-eating breastpump so that we didn't have to go hide and I could give her EBM.

When she was about two weeks old we were in Tahoe and she needed to eat. My MIL accompanied me to the women's lounge (not the bathroom, but attached to it with nice couches and a place to change your baby). While I was bfing her MIL tried to "hide" me and it was SO obvious and ridiculous. Everyone knew what I was doing. That was the beginning of me thinking, "why am I hiding? I show less without the blanket and other people NIP". I could understand when we were still getting the kinks out and I needed my shirt up to my chin, but after that it was just a PITB! I had to end the conversation, grab all my "stuff" and head to someplace private. Makes no sense!

It really took me convincing dh that I was going to bfeed in public and he needed to get a grip. As long as my baby wasn't pulling my shirt up and exposing me (which my current nurser likes to do, nothing like NIP your 3y/o and trying really hard to be discreet and she yanks your shirt up over your head :LOL ), I didn't see what the problem was!

Anyway, my kids are getting grumpy because I haven't made dinner. I need to find a recipe that sounds good! If I think of anything else I'll come back!

[malibusunny]

Yes, convincing dh that it was okay if other people saw my breasts was hard at first. He saw other people giving babies bottles in public and wished I was normal.

Now, he is very proud of his bf'ed son. He doesn't bat an eye at me whipping out a boob in front of anyone. At some point, he realized that other people's hang ups simply weren't our problem.

[wannabe]

Velcro - I'd put in info about PND in that paragraph on being stuck at home.

My daughter is nine weeks old and is totally random in her feeding habits. It's roughly every 1-2 hours during the day. I would have difficulty taking her for a walk if I couldn't feed her while we were out. The first time I tried we got five blocks before she got hungry. If I couldn't have fed her on the way home I would have walked the whole way with a screaming baby, and not tried to go walking again.

Exercise is extremely important in staving off depression - you need 20 min every day to really help. And if you're too scared to leave the house...

And I also should add that she won't take a bottle anymore - she used to and has now taken a strong stance on plastic

[kindred_spirit]

i love most the ideas so far....