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Does homeschool rock the boat in your worlds? - Page 2

post #21 of 38
When someone asks me "how long have you been homeschooling?" my reply is a standard "since birth" Just because you may do organized schooling later in your childs life, what you do while at home to teach/interact with your child *IS* homeschooling
post #22 of 38
Hi all you Momma's,

Great replies on this thread. I have a slightly different situation, but I think I can offer some insight. We live in Indonesia, so we are considered "weird" for many reasons. Fortunately EBF is normal here, as is BF any where in public. I don't tak much about no vaccines, just don't do it. But when I pulled DD out of school, people started to ask questions. It's not even considered an option. School is compulsory and free( for Indo citizens) until 6th grade, after that they pay. So only the poorest kids don't go to school. I just say that I buy books from America and we study at home.

However, as lucky as I am here, I am still the only natural/home-birth, breastfeeding, homeschooling momma in my family and among most of my college friends.

When discussing things like this, I am always careful not to say things like, "Vacinnation is bad, bottle feeding is not good", etc. I try to say things like, " I don't trust vaccinations" or " I don't believe that scientists working for a large corporation can develop a baby formula in 70 years that is better or equal to a million years of evolution." I try to express my point of view without confronting their's.

And how I handle situations where I have expressed my beliefs and they take it as an affront to their practices is to say, " I'm not going to argue with you over parenting styles, but I'm willing to discuss it with you some time if you'd like to learn more" At LLL meetings they say to take what applies to you and to leave the rest, and that advice can be applied any parenting discussion. It's up to each family to decide what is best for them. I ususally express that to my family member/friend as well.

The secret is to say it all in a very nice friendly tone of voice with out getting angry or upset ( as if you feel they are very silly for getting upset). It's empowering and almost always works.

There's no vindication is waiting 15 years to see that their kid is a messed up, materialistic young adult. You can only present them with the facts that convinced you to do what you're doing, and leave them to make their own decisions.

virginia, going to BF my baby and HS my big kids
post #23 of 38
hahamommy, I love the homeschooling since birth! Ain't it the truth!

I have also been experiencing a lot of this questioning and judging since I decided to keep my boys home for now. They had been at a very nice Montessori parent coop, which for many in our circle was radical enough (!), but since HS is not legal here, I knew I only had one more chance before ds1 starts first grade fall 2003. Now, I have two sons, 97 and 99, and the thing that has surprised me most is the standard question: BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR SOCIALIZATION? Hello....
Not only do they have each other and ME but there are actually play groups and art studios here open for us if I feel like they need to be with peers more. The other questions seems to concern their lack of pedagogical opportunities at home, which I also find hilarious--I have a BS in child development and a Masters in Education and have taught from preschool thru adults for 10 years--but even without all that, what a question! Believe me, I know what "opportunities" most schools offer.
Here is Sweden, there is no question whatsoever about staying home with your babies, but I have really been surprised that after the age of 18 months or so, it is considered quite radical. It seems like everything which is AP (BF, cloth, co-sleeping) is all great here--in "reasonable" amounts. We just moved to a slightly bigger home and now that we would have the room for separate bedrooms, it is considered a bit odd that we still all sleep together. Co-sleeping is more of a solution for compact living for many here, not a choice.
I envy those of you who can choose to keep HS as long as it is good for your child and your family. More power to you!
post #24 of 38
Oh, and the other question which I can't understand but try to respond to politely is, But won't you get bored??
post #25 of 38
o my goodness, hsing is illegal in sweden.: , i had no idea, i thought sweden was into all that stuff. wow, would you mind sharing more about that kind of stuff or just pming me if noone else wants to know. im very concerned as i have been fully planning to live in sweden for a while sometime in the next 3-5 years. thank you
post #26 of 38
AHHHHH ~ I can imagine the luxury of boredom.....

What the heck do you do after your kids go to school? I would be lonely and VERY bored without them, mostly anyway, but I would be able to let my toenail paint dry, hmmmm.... :LOL
post #27 of 38
Fionn's mom, Imagine meeting here!! :LOL
I too would love to hear about the Sweden differences, because they *do* have quite the wonderful reputation for soooo many progressive parenting allowances. I'm sad about the homeschool thing, but I well imagine that if everything else in Sweden is that ding dang cool, I bet the school systems are too... how could they not be?? Let us know!
post #28 of 38

making excuses

Don't you wish sometimes that you could just not question authority and be mainstream? There is that peace of mind and sense of safety with knowing what is ahead of you. You know waht I mean? That picture of life in Parenting magazine, neatly groomed kids with interesting looking meals and lots of playdates and neatly groomed parents? But, I know it doesn't really exist. Our nonAP neighbors sleep with their children, never having heard of the family bed. There's a lot more subversion out there than we realize. AND, you're right, the homeschooling population is rising pretty quickly lately, and soon enough, we will be as mainstream as tofu. I'm thinking of the Frost poem, something like:
two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. So, everyone hang in there, the payoffs will be worth it....
post #29 of 38

Re: making excuses

Our nonAP neighbors sleep with their children, never having heard of the family bed

Hi, Can you tell me about the family bed and where can I locate the key to the acronyms AP, bf, etc. I see a lot of them and wish I knew what they meant... thanks
post #30 of 38

Have you checked the Nightwaking and the Family Bed forum?

Also, check this thread for meanings of abbreviations:

post #31 of 38
thanks so much for the help. everyone here is so kind. i just LOVE this forum. i can't tell you how much better i feel already. i am a new mom at 33 and there are some things i just feel instinctively. knowing all of you makes me feel normal. thank God for you, truly.
post #32 of 38
Well, Sweden is in general a very good AP country to raise your kids...but HS is not an option here. I think I read last year that there were maybe 4 kids HS and they all had been granted special permission for extreme cases adn they did not live near a city. By extreme, I mean like health/psychological problems. And those who do get permission have strict follow-ups and have to apply every year. A solid foundation of the Swedish school system is that by law every child should have the same educational opportunities no matter where they live--so instead of letting the kid out in the middle of the countryside HS (not hard to end up out there here), there are buses and village schools and distance learning, etc. That said, dh says that for most of these kids out in the boonies, their schooling is basically HS as they are at home and do everything by computer/video/occasional visits. But, it is not so common. On the other hand, the school we have chosen for our two to attend in the future is a "free school" (read: private) and they are FREE here and you can go to Montessori or Waldorf or whatever and it is free by law (lunches, books, everything). We have chosen a school that encourages a lot of parental involvement and focuses on art, theatre, and music. Not HS but we don't have much choice, do we?
post #33 of 38
You don't get to choose between building over there or your own house, but it seems you've got lots of choices as far as which kind of education fits your child and your family (which is the point of homeschooling anyway, isn't it?) I figured Sweden must have an amazingly diverse educational system for it to be cumpulsory and no public backlash
post #34 of 38
Thread Starter 
I haven't been able to get back on until today. And I have read all your amazing posts.

There are so many encouraging ways to handle the "opposition"--sad to phrase it this way, but in reality...

My mil just found out that we are homeschooling. Thank God she's only talked to my DH so far about it. (Avoidance works best as far as my own dealings with her. )

Again, her argument--and I do mean argument--is the socialization of my DS.

I'm preparing myself for her onslaught. Silence works best for me. But when questioned directly? I get really sulky when she thinks my silence means I don't have a valid reason.

I'm just not throwing my pearls before swine.

So, thanks everyone for your amazing connection here.

This is going to be FUN!! (HS, not the mil factor. )
post #35 of 38
I just got the socialization lecture from the father of a good friend. "It is so important for her to socialize", Oh pluh-eeze. Then when I said that even her Preschool teacher thought she was not ready for Public K I got the "but she needs to learn those things now, not next yr". I didn't even bother to say she will be learning "those things" but when she is ready, not when the school demands her to be.
post #36 of 38
I stand corrected! I checked out the laws more carefully (in part thanks to your sites, Gina) adn it is not actually illegal in Sweden as I have been told, but rather still extremely difficult. Less than 100 families in a country of almost 8.5 million do it and they are monitored closely every year. Now I have a good info site in Swedish so I will check it out some more...
post #37 of 38
o thats good to hear about sweden, sort of

i musta missed the link about swedens laws, id very much like to know the details of this, if someone could post it. thanks
post #38 of 38
Gina posted this on another list we are on. Some of the Sweden info is only in Swedish, but there is a contact person and since the site has some English info, he probably could reply in English. If you can't get enought info in English, write me and I can let you know what's in Swedish.
This feels like big news for me, but I need to re-think now. My kids are bilingual and I am a little unsure how the Swedish will go for them if I HS them (I am American, dh Swedish).

USA Regional Homeschooling Laws and Support
which has links for the U.S. by state, for Canada by province, AND...
Puerto Rico - Australia - Belgium - Czech Republic - Denmark - France -
Ireland - Israel - Italy - Netherlands - Norway - Scotland - Sweden -
South Africa
United Kingdom - China - India - Japan - Malaysia - New Zealand -
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