Like all of you I have lost my mother, but my loss is freash. I have been so touched by all your stories that I wanted to share mine.
This year: 2004
New Years Eve I got engaged and New Years Day I got a BFP. We called everyone and told them we where engaged and getting married in March. I was a happy time, and mom guessed I was prego becasue we had talked about a May wedding and now it was going to be in March. LOL neve could get much past her. I started to plan the wedding and pick out a dress. Two weeks passed and I get a phone call. Mom has a mass in her kidiney and they think it is canser her kidiney is not working but she is getting another oppion. A few days pass and I get another call mom is having surgery and I need to go home. ( I am in GA, mom is in NY)
I went home and mom had her surgery that next day. After 12 hours of wating the Dr. comes out and tells us she did well and they think they got it all, but that it was stuck in her vana cava and thats whey the 7 hour surgery ended up being 12. I cried, and called DH and told him the good news.
A few weeks passed and all test came back that moms canser was gone and she came home. And the chest x-rays where clear. I stayed in NY and finished planing the wedding and taking care of mom while DH was sitll in GA. 5 weeks after mom's surgery I married the love of my life and although mom was not feeling well she stayed till the end of the night.
We did a circle of friends thing at the end of the wedding where all our friends stood in a circle around DH and I and said somthing to us. Mom said to me. "Thankyou so much for the last month. Know you can always come home and bring anyone you want, you know little. I WILL MISS YOU MOST"
I am so lucky to have that on video. The nest day DH and I went back to GA.
5 weeks pass and I get a call. Come home ASAP mom is having surgery in the morning the canser is back and in her vana cava and hart. They are doing open hart surgery and vina cava transplant in the morning. I got to her bedside at 1am and spent the night in her room. She was not expecet to live through the surgery or without it. I spent the night watching her sleep but the best part was that my aunt worked in the houspital and brought a dopler up so mom could here my baby.
The next day was hard I could not belive we where back in that watting room again. Durring her sergery I learned that the Dr.s where refusing to do the surgery saying it would kill her but without it she was told she would live only weeks. She told them that was not an option she had a grand baby due in sept. I cried she was going thourgh all this for me adn my baby, that was a lot to deal with. Lucky for us she pulled thourgh like a champ and I stayed with her for 4 weeks until my baby shower in May.
I have pic's her her at the shower all proud sitting next to me in her wheel chair (we had the shower moved to a meating room inthe hospital so she could attend) She was so tired and went to her room after gifts and did not stay for games or food but I was lucky to have her as long as I did to enjoy the day. A few days later DH (who had come for the shower) and I went home to GA.
End of June I get a call mom has cancer in her hip and they are going to do radation on it. 10 Days of radation and her scans show it is gone, awsome news.
I just moved into a new house in July so since she had no dr.s visits until the end of July she came and spent a week with me. All she did was lay on the sofa and spend time with me in the hosue but I was happy she got to see the house, nursrey and the bedroom set she paid for as our wedding gift. I will always rember that trip.
2 weeks passed and every night I talk to her on the phone always have at 9pm since I moved out. But somthing is deffernt she keeps telling the same stories over and is acting strange that was a WED. Sat dad brought her to the ER and I get a call from her "I have a tumor in my brain" I kept asking her if I needed to come home she said no she was fine they where just going to do radation tratment on it since it was not in a place she could be opperated on.
Then the worst things started to happen she was lossing her memmory. She would call 2 or 3 times a day and tell me she had a brain tumor. It was so hard to have to hear her tell me over and not knowing she had not told me hours before. That is when I decided I had to go home. Being so prego now I was not aloud to fly so my brother came and got me from NY.
I was caring for mom at 35 weeks prego this was not easy. After taking her to 3 days of treatment and watching her get worse after evey one becasue it was taking all her strength and then she would sleep for 12 hour after we decided to stop the treatments. We knew it would be a short life now treatments or not and I wanted her to be awake as much as she could durring that time not in a coma like state from the radation and meds. After we stoped treatment she did not have to take as many meds and that was good because it was hard to get things into her. I spoon fed her and helped her back and forth to the bathroom for a week. We prayed for me to give birth soon, so she coudl see the baby.
Her memory was gone she had no short term memeory the last few days she would forget that she could no longer get out of bed to use the bathroom and had to be told each time that it was ok because I had a pad under her and I would change it. She stoped eatting too, I could get a few oz of water down her a day and maybe to suck on fruit using the baby safe feeder but that was it, no meds nothing. I just sat with her and talked to her holding her hand 24 horus a day.
I was 37 weeks and could no longer care for her alone becasue I could not lift her and that was hard for me, but doing what was best for my baby I knew I had to let others help. We asked for hospice to send a daily nurse.
The daily nurse never had to come. Mom started to have a hard time breathing that night and we gave her morphine. Witg me on one side of her and my brother on her other and dad in the room she stoped breathing and My brother felt her last hart beat min's latter. I kept telling her over and over that it was ok that she could go.
I gave bith to a wounderful baby boy 16 days later, and we named him Peter her maden name.
This year: 2004
New Years Eve I got engaged and New Years Day I got a BFP. We called everyone and told them we where engaged and getting married in March. I was a happy time, and mom guessed I was prego becasue we had talked about a May wedding and now it was going to be in March. LOL neve could get much past her. I started to plan the wedding and pick out a dress. Two weeks passed and I get a phone call. Mom has a mass in her kidiney and they think it is canser her kidiney is not working but she is getting another oppion. A few days pass and I get another call mom is having surgery and I need to go home. ( I am in GA, mom is in NY)
I went home and mom had her surgery that next day. After 12 hours of wating the Dr. comes out and tells us she did well and they think they got it all, but that it was stuck in her vana cava and thats whey the 7 hour surgery ended up being 12. I cried, and called DH and told him the good news.
A few weeks passed and all test came back that moms canser was gone and she came home. And the chest x-rays where clear. I stayed in NY and finished planing the wedding and taking care of mom while DH was sitll in GA. 5 weeks after mom's surgery I married the love of my life and although mom was not feeling well she stayed till the end of the night.
We did a circle of friends thing at the end of the wedding where all our friends stood in a circle around DH and I and said somthing to us. Mom said to me. "Thankyou so much for the last month. Know you can always come home and bring anyone you want, you know little. I WILL MISS YOU MOST"
I am so lucky to have that on video. The nest day DH and I went back to GA.
5 weeks pass and I get a call. Come home ASAP mom is having surgery in the morning the canser is back and in her vana cava and hart. They are doing open hart surgery and vina cava transplant in the morning. I got to her bedside at 1am and spent the night in her room. She was not expecet to live through the surgery or without it. I spent the night watching her sleep but the best part was that my aunt worked in the houspital and brought a dopler up so mom could here my baby.
The next day was hard I could not belive we where back in that watting room again. Durring her sergery I learned that the Dr.s where refusing to do the surgery saying it would kill her but without it she was told she would live only weeks. She told them that was not an option she had a grand baby due in sept. I cried she was going thourgh all this for me adn my baby, that was a lot to deal with. Lucky for us she pulled thourgh like a champ and I stayed with her for 4 weeks until my baby shower in May.
I have pic's her her at the shower all proud sitting next to me in her wheel chair (we had the shower moved to a meating room inthe hospital so she could attend) She was so tired and went to her room after gifts and did not stay for games or food but I was lucky to have her as long as I did to enjoy the day. A few days later DH (who had come for the shower) and I went home to GA.
End of June I get a call mom has cancer in her hip and they are going to do radation on it. 10 Days of radation and her scans show it is gone, awsome news.
I just moved into a new house in July so since she had no dr.s visits until the end of July she came and spent a week with me. All she did was lay on the sofa and spend time with me in the hosue but I was happy she got to see the house, nursrey and the bedroom set she paid for as our wedding gift. I will always rember that trip.
2 weeks passed and every night I talk to her on the phone always have at 9pm since I moved out. But somthing is deffernt she keeps telling the same stories over and is acting strange that was a WED. Sat dad brought her to the ER and I get a call from her "I have a tumor in my brain" I kept asking her if I needed to come home she said no she was fine they where just going to do radation tratment on it since it was not in a place she could be opperated on.
Then the worst things started to happen she was lossing her memmory. She would call 2 or 3 times a day and tell me she had a brain tumor. It was so hard to have to hear her tell me over and not knowing she had not told me hours before. That is when I decided I had to go home. Being so prego now I was not aloud to fly so my brother came and got me from NY.
I was caring for mom at 35 weeks prego this was not easy. After taking her to 3 days of treatment and watching her get worse after evey one becasue it was taking all her strength and then she would sleep for 12 hour after we decided to stop the treatments. We knew it would be a short life now treatments or not and I wanted her to be awake as much as she could durring that time not in a coma like state from the radation and meds. After we stoped treatment she did not have to take as many meds and that was good because it was hard to get things into her. I spoon fed her and helped her back and forth to the bathroom for a week. We prayed for me to give birth soon, so she coudl see the baby.
Her memory was gone she had no short term memeory the last few days she would forget that she could no longer get out of bed to use the bathroom and had to be told each time that it was ok because I had a pad under her and I would change it. She stoped eatting too, I could get a few oz of water down her a day and maybe to suck on fruit using the baby safe feeder but that was it, no meds nothing. I just sat with her and talked to her holding her hand 24 horus a day.
I was 37 weeks and could no longer care for her alone becasue I could not lift her and that was hard for me, but doing what was best for my baby I knew I had to let others help. We asked for hospice to send a daily nurse.
The daily nurse never had to come. Mom started to have a hard time breathing that night and we gave her morphine. Witg me on one side of her and my brother on her other and dad in the room she stoped breathing and My brother felt her last hart beat min's latter. I kept telling her over and over that it was ok that she could go.
I gave bith to a wounderful baby boy 16 days later, and we named him Peter her maden name.
to you mama
to you and your family for all you have been through. My mother also had the kidney cancer. She lived 8 months after her diagnosis. It never went to her brain tho. She had her kidney removed, rounds of radiation, and chemo. I took care of her daily, with the help of my sister. This is where our stories come together, yours and mine. I could no longer care for my mother alone. I couldnt get her to eat, or drink. Getting her liquid morphine was like giving a cat a pill! I called Hospice and requested a full time nurse, we also requested a morphine drip as we couldn't get her medicine in her. The nurse came, gave her the morphine, and that was the end. She just needed to be comfortable to let go. It is just odd, how both our mothers had kidney cancer, and both passed before the Hospice Nurses could care for them.
Like I said, feel free to look up the Moms without Moms thread. Right now, we are sharing our "happiest mom memories".
