November Chat Thread - Page 3

[Desdamona]

Re: Baby stuff

I have to agree with both Anna and Vanessa.

With my first we had every single baby contraption -- crib, changing table, swing, stroller/carriage, exasaucer... the list goes on and on. And we kept most of the crap through the years mainly because we are pack rats and feel guilty about getting rid of something someone had given us. I think that if you are NOT attachment parenting, co-sleeping or breastfeeding the stuff is a neccessary. I didn't do any of the above with DS #1 and truthfully used all those contraptions.

With DS #2 I didn't use any of the above (the AP lightbulb went off in my head!!) minus the crib at about 20 months when he night weaned. It was the right time for him to start sleeping in same room as his brother. That only lasted 3-4 months since he started climbing out and we bought him a real bed.

Well the crib has not been moved out of the basement in 4 years. The changing table serves as Gabriel's dresser with the addition of wicker baskets. I was given a lovely moses basket but never really used it, maybe this time around? My Maya wraps (yes, I have more than one) are the absolute best investment I ever made. As for the stroller, swing and exasaucer they were all given to friends who were in need. I might pick up a lightweight stroller once "peanut" is born so Gabriel can have a place to ride when we are out and about but I don't do much mall shopping... so where else do i need to contain him?

I need to get new carseats for the both G-boy and "peanut". Gabriel is riding in his brother's hand me down carseat and while it is still in good shape you should replace carseats more than 5 years old because they can get brittle and lose some of their safety-ness. I think we will be getting him a booster/5 pt harness type and the baby will get a convertable (5lb-40lb) type. My babies are big when born, I have a bad wrist and can't see how to wrangle a toddler and a NB in one of those bucket type carseats.

So outside of clothes, dipes, a good supply of recieving blankets (which double as emergency dipes, burp cloths, cover while BF in public (if you are so inclined)) a carseat and a sling/carrier of sorts, there isn't much that a new baby needs outside of your warms arms and nourishing breasts the first year of life.

[Debstmomy]

Baby things

It being 7 years since my last baby, we have nothing! My CD friends will lend me their small fuzzi bunz, I think I have 20 waiting for me. My other friend is a distributor for them.
We co-sleep, so no need for a crib. My friend is giving me a side car (So she says, but I have a feeling she will not be done with it!) If not, DH will build one.
The only thing new that I want are some new slings & a car seat. My sis had a jogger stroller, and I need to ask her if she still has it. If not her, perhaps my brother. Everything else, well, I will just keep my finger crossed! Since this baby is due late may, all we really will need are onsies. (I am So.CA, it will be hot!) My grandma is giving me an extra dresser, and I will use the top as a changing station.
I can not think of anything else I need. All that "baby stuff" is just a great way of marketing for us to spend our hard earned money. When I had DD I had to have it all. Not this time, I am older & much more wiser!!!! LOL!
No baby names here! DH will name this one, since I named the last two. Only requirement is that it is an "A" name, with some family connection to either the 1st or middle name.
Have a great Saturday!

[robugmum]

almost 12 weeks

The one piece of "baby equipment" I'd really like is a king sized bed! No budget or space for one right now though! We did buy a new van just before ttc this one. The things I found absolutely essential with Thing One and Thing Two were, sling and carrier, stroller (often just used to hold groceries, snacks and other assorted baggage!), lots of recieving and other blankets, baby tub and sling thing to help hold him or her up in the bath, diapers, clothes, baby washcloths, breast pump and car seat. I did use a moses basket when both babes were tiny and we always had a sleeping place (crib, mattress or playpen) set up for them in our room for naps etc., even though they slept with us most of the time.
I've given away almost all of my baby stuff except for some clothes. I'm pretty sure I can get a lot of it back or borrow stuff from other friends. I think we'll need at least a new infant car seat because ours will be very close to expiry by the time Thing 3 comes along. It's loaned out to baby number 6 right nw so it's served a lot of us very well!
For names, we've got a list but nothing definite yet. We usually use at least one family name for each kid.

[Velvet005]

Well, DH and I do have a big bed that would be perfect for three!! I had not really thought about co-sleeping. I have a friend couple who co-sleep. They also have everything crib, changing table,etc. The crib is FULL of stuffed animals and the baby is never in his room. It is used more as storage room for all of his stuff. They love co-sleeping and everything -the only thing is they never gio. DH and I are pretty active in that department and I hope it doesn't stop once we have baby (I mean I know it will have to for a temporary time but they haven't gio'ed since soon after the baby was born and that has been almost 2 years ago.) I definately do not care to have a changing table. I agree the floor or couch will work just fine. I am so happy to have all of you to talk to about these things because my friends who are parents either work all the time and I never see them or they are hermits and I never see them. I have my and DH parents to talk to but it has been 28 yrs (I have no siblings) for my DP and it has be 24 years for DH's DP's and things have certainly changed since then.

I am so excited because I went shopping for clothes. I only have 1 pair of blue jeans I can wear and of course sweat pants. So, I went to this consignment maternity clothing store and it was great!!
The lady was very helpful to me and very nice. I found the most comfortable transitional pants and a cute shirt. I also went to Target to find some pants but they were all too big. I know I need more than one pair of jeans (I love jeans) but it is so hard to find any that fit right and feel good. Are any of you experiencing this problem?

DH and I have come up with a female name but not a male. We can;t settle on one. Well, I like Emilie Sophia for a female and he likes Emilie Alexis. He doesn't care for Sophia, so that may be out. He doesn't like "old" names and I happen to love them.

Desdamona- We call our little growing baby "peanut" too. My parents tease that we'll still calling s/he that after birth!!! :LOL

[gingerlane]

Originally Posted by cakes78413

we dont cosleep either. maybe i am not "natural" enough to be on this website. this is something that both dh and i agree on. i dont understand how a couple can be "romantic" while there is a babe in the bed next to them.

Are you telling me that the only place you have ever "enjoyed" your husband is in your bed? Oh, honey, co-sleeping spiced up our marriage... it in no way put the fire out!

Just my two cents (as always, you're free to make change)!

[Desdamona]

Originally Posted by Velvet005

Desdamona- We call our little growing baby "peanut" too. My parents tease that we'll still calling s/he that after birth!!! :LOL

Tish,

I just had to share... last night we had a "Girls Night Out". My core group of friends goes out to dinner when ever one of us has a birthday and everyone was teasing me that "Peanut" is the last thing I should be calling the baby. "Watermelon" and "Pumpkin" are more along the line of the size of baby I will probably birth... But for now s/he is "Peanut".

[Desdamona]

Originally Posted by gingerlane

Are you telling me that the only place you have ever "enjoyed" your husband is in your bed?

My 2 cents... Not one of my four has been concieved in our bed. Gabriel was born there, but to conceptions there.

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by gingerlane

Are you telling me that the only place you have ever "enjoyed" your husband is in your bed?

My 2 cents - we always have sex in the bed. We just don't have sex when the baby is in the bed, though some people do. I got way more of a drive after baby than I had before, though for totally unrelated reasons. Cosleeping never ever had an impact on our sex life AT ALL. We tend to not have sex at night, however...

[cakes78413]

Originally Posted by gingerlane

Are you telling me that the only place you have ever "enjoyed" your husband is in your bed? Oh, honey, co-sleeping spiced up our marriage... it in no way put the fire out!

Just my two cents (as always, you're free to make change)!

not the only place, but the main place. if baby co sleeps and you do use the bed, where is baby when you have the desire? i do think it is important for children to know that their parents love eachother, but there should be some limit.

along the same lines, i am a very light sleeper and wouldnt rest well anyway. i do have a friend who coslept and she was not crazy with the results. they had different issues and i am not sure what all of them were but she is very much into AP so it obviously isnt for everyone.

[gingerlane]

Originally Posted by cakes78413

not the only place, but the main place. if baby co sleeps and you do use the bed, where is baby when you have the desire? i do think it is important for children to know that their parents love eachother, but there should be some limit.

along the same lines, i am a very light sleeper and wouldnt rest well anyway. i do have a friend who coslept and she was not crazy with the results. they had different issues and i am not sure what all of them were but she is very much into AP so it obviously isnt for everyone.

I agree, it's not for everyone! But a lot of people are surprised by how well it works for them and easily get around the intimacy issue, that's all I'm saying. It wasn't something we'd even thought about before dd was born, but it was the obvious choice (again, for US) after she was born. Do what's best for your family, it's not a competition!

[KayleeZoo]

Hi everyone I've been MIA- got the nasty stomach bug my 21mo old passed on. But finally getting better today. I'm 15w1d and it suddenly hit me yesterday- I'm in my 4th month! It's gone by faster than with either one of my girls.

I'm definately going to cd this one, too (started at 7mos with my first, and Lexi has been cd'd since she was a nb). I have quite a few dipes and covers bought already , and have 3 more wool covers on the way.

I ff my first, and bf my second until she self weaned at 12 mos. I'll bf this little booger, too.

Stuff- well, we got rid of everything after each one of the girls. We thought we would wait 5+ years after #1 (I got pg the day after her 2nd bday, :LOL), so we figured we'd get all new stuff. Then after #2, we thought we were done. So, we're starting from scratch. I had one with horrible colic, and another with reflux and would have died without a swing and bouncy seat, so those are on the list. I have the packnplay w/basinette that the baby will sleep in right next to our bed, so at least that's one thing I won't have to buy! It makes me crazy to think that I either sold/gave away 2 infant carseats, 4 Exersaucers, 4 swings, and 4 bouncy seats that I bought brand new! (I buy 2 sets of stuff- one for grandma) But nothing I can do about it now. First thing will be a carseat- I'm going for the Britax Companion, and will order it soon probably. I get nervous if I don't have everything for the baby by about 25 or 30 weeks :LOL Just neurotic, I guess.

Hobbies- well it's usually just chasing my todder and preschooler But I do love to read, and I work 4.5 hours a week as a veterinary technician. It's my sanity time :LOL I hope to start exercising again, soon. It was really hard for me to gain weight with my other 2 pgs, and I've already gained 10 lbs drop, but I was "underweight" when I got pg, so my OB is happy that I'm gaining early this time. But I'm not so thrilled :LOL It's all in my thighs and my butt, far as I can tell :

I love reading about everyone! This was a great idea!!

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by cakes78413

if baby co sleeps and you do use the bed, where is baby when you have the desire?

Do you only have sex at night when you're going to bed or are in bed? For us, sex does NOT happen at night because when I go to bed, I go to sleep. But then there's always during the day while the baby naps (baby has napped on the floor on some blankets, in a moses basket, bassinet, in the other room, all variety of places). Sometimes when baby was well-occupied, we could sneak off (we live in a tiny apartment where we can hear everything and baby was safe).

Nowadays with our 2 year old, we wait until he's occupied or sleeping. He still cosleeps, but he has his own bed that is pressed against ours, so even if he's sleeping, he won't witness anything or be disturbed. Some people have co-sleepers or sidecars so babies in those would not be disturbed. Point is, you work it out. Libido is really the last thing to be disrupted by co-sleeping. I personally cannot imagine having a tiny, helpless baby anywhere but right beside me where I can be completely aware that they are still breathing and can reach them immediately when they need help.

The thing that really convinced me was when DS was 18 months old and he caught the Rota virus. One night at like 3:30 he vomitted in his sleep. Babies don't automatically turn themselves over to make themselves not choke, so he just laid there while vomit bubbled out of him. I picked him up and turned him over immediately. Then of course I had to clean up the mess... He did this like three more times that night. I had him reclining the next times, but it still scared the bejebus out of me. Because the question remains - if I hadn't been right there would I have heard him? Would he have choked?

I personally feel like we as a species are meant to cosleep, just as we are meant to hold our babies and breastfeed. I don't think that anyone who doesn't do those things is a bad mom at all and I know that there are a variety of reasons that for other people to not do those things. I agree that you absolutely should do what's best for your family. This is just my take on co-sleeping and why I love it. And, fwiw, my child is incredibly independent and strong-willed and confident even though he still sleeps with us. As a member of the Co-sleeping Rocks Choir, it's hard for me to imagine why anyone would reject it.

[nym]

I totally agree anna...

Our favorite place to put the baby is the laundry basket! heheh

[schatz]

oh, my this thread has been active this weekend! Could the mama who started it change the title to include this week or is this getting too long already? There's just so much fun chatter here.

Where to start.... I don't think we'll be selling our house. Yea! I really don't want to. I showered for the first time in my newly renovated bathroom this weekend and it was heaven. The people haven't called back since they were at our house on Thursday. I think they finally got it that it's our price or no deal and we don't want their house.

I can't remember who posted about low milk supply the first time around (sorry!) but I encourage you to try bfing your new babe. Have the baby's latch evaluated by an IBLC right away, drink lots of water, eat oatmeal, etc. You can also take things like fenugreek to boost supply if needed. My dd was born early and was in the NICU for 10 days and we didn't get her to ebf until 3 weeks. Then at 7 weeks I stupidly got a depoprovera shot (why I thought dh and I would actually be having sex is beyond me) which crashed my supply. I got it back up with fenugreek and lots of pumping inbetween nursing. Check out kellymom.com for more resources or ask the mamas here.

We co-sleep but didn't start out that way. Dd slept in a cradle next to the bed for about 4 months, then a crib next to the bed until 6 months. Then she started teething and got major separation anxiety and started waking every 90 minutes. The only way to get sleep was to bring her into bed with us. She's still there and we love it (although I seem to lose my pillow half way through each night lately). We took off one side of the crib and made it a side car and we have a king sized bed! I guess we're just a bunch of sprawlers. I have a friend who was very against co-sleeping - dh is a heavy sleeper, they like to gio a lot, etc - but her dd is doing the same thing mine did with night-waking so they now co-sleep. You do what you have to. Oh, and we have dtd with dd in the crib but mostly we go into another room.

Hey annakiss - I hear ya on the rotavirus -- dd got it last spring and vomited in bed several times. That's the only time she's been sick thank goodness.

baby stuff -- I got most of my stuff at garage sales so I really didn't spend much. Things that worked well for dd include the bouncer chair and backpack carrier (framed one that we used when she grew into it). Receiving blankets were a must have since dd really liked being swaddled as a newborn. I never got a sling last time - couldn't make a decision and then dd arrived early. But, I will get one this time. I ended up with tendonitis and carpal tunnel from bfing and carrying dd so much.

Names -- we have a boys first name -- dh's grandfather Frederick. We would call him Fritz for short. Girls names are non-existent right now. We named dd after my grandmother and that was easy. We want another family name but don't have one we like in recent memory. We're going to have to dig back in the trees a bit.

Did I catch everything?? Happy Monday everyone!

[annakiss]

On slings...

I had a NOJO the first time around and it didn't work for us until DS was 6 months. Now I've got a New Native, which I like for older babies at the very least (haven't tried it with a newborn, I'm really small, so I'll have to see how it goes, but I have a feeling they'll hang to low to feel like they're being held). I've also got a WAHM version of a Mei Tei, which is great for toddlers (you carry them on the back, it's not a sling). I'm also going to have a regular ring sling specially made for me by a WAHM friend so that it's small enough to be tightened completely around me and a babe on chest without having several yards of fabric hanging down to my feet. It's nice to know WAHMs in person. I started collecting this stuff in the spring when we first decided to TTC (though we weren't going to actually do it until August!).

On breastfeeding for the first time...
I recently bought a nursing stool. Will need a new nursing pillow as I got rid of my boppy when I thought I wouldn't be having more kids anytime soon. I have a bottle of fenugreek sitting around that may not be good by the time the new bean arrives, though I had great supply initially anyway. I think that nursing instead of pumping will probably work wonders for me. As soon as I'm well enough, I will be going to LLL meetings again to try to hook up with a leader and find a good LC recommendation. I want to be prepared to call someone on Day 1 if need be. I think that establishing a relationship with someone ahead of time makes it easier to ask for help than just randomly calling someone. Plus you get to learn about both breastfeeding and their philosophy first. Sometimes hospital LCs (from what I've heard) can be a little quick to recommend a nipple shield, which can simply delay learning how best to nurse rather than really aiding in it.

Another question - was this baby planned? Please share your stories!
Here's mine... Aleks was born 2 years ago with a cleft lip & palate. At that moment, I knew that I didn't want to accidentally get pregnant again. So when he was about 10 months old, I got an IUD. A year later I started talking with Jon about having another. We decided that 3 or 4 years difference sounded good and that we should have the baby in the summer due to Jon's being in school. So we figured we could try in both August and September and if it didn't happen, then we'd wait another year. I started hanging out in the TTC board here in April to learn how to chart, bought "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and figured it all out, got my IUD out in June and just kept charting but not trying. Well, it happened in September after a grueling GIO schedule (we missed the mark in August when I ovulated earlier than usual so the times we tried weren't quite good enough) and voila! Here we are. 11 weeks pregnant today with highly calculated planned pregnancy. Yay!

[schatz]

Monday is a great day for procrastinating so I'll answer anna's question - was this baby planned?

Yes. Dd #1 was too but I didn't expect to hit the mark on the first try which we did. This time I was nursing dd quite a lot and feeling the pressure of age so after a couple months of trying with no luck, I started hanging out on the ttc board, read TCOYF, and starting charting. Two months later we had success. Dh still laughs about the gio schedule. I leave for work really early in the morning and on several mornings, I woke him at 5 and said "let's go". Not really romantic but we got here. :LOL

[cakes78413]

we have the baby sleep in a bassinet in our room for the first 3 or 4 months so we can be available easily for nursing or anything else. once they start sleeping through the night we make the transition to the crib and it has worked well for my other two children. when i had ds i thought it might be fun to have him sleep with us so we tried to encourage it at about 1 year but he was so wiggle and hyper that he never went to sleep. he does come in and snuggle in the mornings now that he is 3 and it is just as well because, as i said before, i am a very light sleeper and often wake up when dh rolls over.

i have still had ms lately but i have also discovered that as long as i have pretzels on hand, i am able to manage. they are my lifesaver. i am 13 weeks now and am just hoping that this subsides soon. i like to lie in bed when i am not feeling well and think about all the exciting things that are going to be here with this new babe. i tell myself nearly every night that if it takes me being sicky-sick for a healthy baby, i am all for it.

this baby was very much planned for. i had been feeling like it was time for a while but kept trying to avoid it because i was running on low with two toddlers at home needing my love and attention. it just kept coming back to me and finally i said that when i can make it through "x" meeting alone, i would be ready for it. the next day i had two little angles and i really felt this was it. i got off the pill and conceived the same month. i was pregnant for about 6 weeks and had a miscarriage. i was so depressed about it and we decided to try again. two months later i was pregnant. i was so positive and i told dh that i was sure i was but i was worried i was going to lose it again because i hadnt been feeling sick at all (this is how it has worked for me in the past--no sickness = no baby). i took a hpt and it came back negative. i was surprised. i waited 4 days and took another one and again it was negative. i called my ob and told them that i hadnt had a positive test be my period was almost two weeks late and on the hpt instructions it said to call your dr. if it still didnt start so that was what i was doing. they had me come in to the office and do a blood test and when i called to find out if i was or not, i was so surprised to find out i was that i asked a couple of times and the nurse started laughing at me. i was still worried that i wasnt sick and didnt tell anyone but, silly me, it took no time at all for me to feel "like i had been run over by a truck" sick and now i am hoping it will go away before the other two did (6 months). we are all excited to have this baby become a member of our family and just cant wait to meet the little runt.

[robugmum]

12 weeks!

This was the first one of ours that was planned! We found out we were pg with Oscar about one month before our wedding, after being told by a very prominent OB/Gyn that we would most likely need fertility drugs to conceive at all . Rosy was kind of an oops, I think we got careless one time, just at the end of my teaching practicum and that was it! With this one, I knew I wanted a spring or summer baby so we started doing the baby dance in July. I had one very weird short cycle and then got pregnant somewhere around Sept. 2nd. What was funny is that I only started charting at the end of August. I thought the first rise in my temps was just from waking up late. So I spent the next month or so convinced I wasn't ovulating when, really, I was already pregnant! I think I conceived this one during what must have been one of my only regular cycles ever, I actually ovulated on day 14. Usually I have cycles that are 40 days or more.

Re. Schatz's thread title question...I was actually wondering if anyone was interested in making these chat threads month to month instead of week to week. I'm wondering if the fast turnover from one thread to another might mean we're losing people who don't check the boards as often. I think I like the continuity of a thread that lasts a little longer. Maybe this could turn into the November Thread? Just a thought!

[Velvet005]

We planned this one but like schatz we didn't expect to get it o the first try.
I didn't know anything about charting or reading TCYOF til I went to the TTC boards. However, by the time I found the TTC boards I had already ovulated and concieved.
I just went by what my doctor told me on how to AVOID getting pg and used it to TRY to get pg. Funny huh? I sort of knew I was but was in disbelief that it could happen so fast because of the stories I had read on how difficult it has been for so many people. I kept getting signs here and there that I was (not physical signs). People made coments about it too much and mil sent home baby books with us one day. This was all very unusual. It not like we were going around telling everyone "Hey we're trying to concieve!!!" So I thought it was a sign.

Do any of you ever get headaches? Sometimes I get headaches that are almost migraine like.
Also- I have been having some issues with my leg. It hurts or aches around my kneecap when I get up after sitting. Yesterday it hurt so bad I was limping but part of that was from being on it too long. It started with a lump on my ankle and it felt sore like a bruise. I assumed I hit it on something and it would be fine. Well that got better and did go away but it than began hurting by my knee. I have not injured it or anything. I am not one to have many aches and pains and I have never hurt my leg (fractured or turned my ankle). My friend said I could have low potassium but I drink OJ and eat bananas regularly. Does anyone have any ideas?

[annakiss]

Tish, your muscles and ligaments all soften during pregnancy, so sore joints or achey bones are par for the course. And yes, I too get headaches. Just make sure you're drinking plenty of water. Not sure about the potassium.