Dealing with more anti-BF views...

[William's Mom]

NAK…

[BlueStateMama]

Your baby is beautiful!!

Congrats mama, on making the commitment to keep providing your baby with the best - I stayed home after DS was born, but I know some working, pumping mamas and I'm blown away by the commitment and effort they demonstrate. Good for you!

Re your coworkers...personally, I might speak to HR re the situation. Their comments are intrusive and offensive (in addition to being ignorant and annoying.) You may find some support there - and maybe they could do some sensitivity training.

As to educating them - most will probably disagree with this, but I probably wouldn't bother. If some of those comments were addressed to me, I'd look at the individual coldly, and just walk away. It's so RUDE to say things like that, you wouldn't say, "How are you feeding your baby? FORMULA?!!?! Wow, that's disgusting." Maybe a look and the cold shoulder will send the message that their statements are WAY out of line and inappropriate. Good luck no matter how you decide to handle it - and HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!

[sntm]

I'm lucky (sometimes?) to work in health care, so even if people have personal issues with BFing, they know better to keep it to themselves since they don't have a leg to stand on.

My strategy has always been to be calm and unapologetic about what I am doing. I don't push it at people (at least at first ) but I don't capitulate to unreasonable demands.

Personally, in your situation, I wouldn't bother to try and convince them, but I also wouldn't allow them to change my behavior. You've already got the neato cooler, but if you hadn't, I would just keep putting the bottles in the fridge. When people said something, I would reply "The milk needs to stay cold and it is staying in the fridge." If they were grossed out by the idea of their food being in there, I would continue "I'm sorry you feel that way. Perhaps you could bring a cooler for your food?"

When they say something about your carrying the bottles, I would be casual about it. Laugh it off, or comment "why are you so uncomfortable with this?" And just KEEP DOING IT! Again, say "I'm sorry you feel that way. I pump at X, X, and X time. If you don't want to see the bottles, perhaps you can stay at your desk during those times?" I would not even say that you are trying to be discreet -- that implies that you agree that it is something to hide. I carry the bottles around, and even carry the exposed horns with a dish scrubber to the kitchen area to clean them.

To the woman who sighed "you're more of a woman...", simply say with pleasure, "Thank you!"

Make it THEIR problem, since, in reality, it is.

If you want to do subtle education, simply post the 101 reasons to breastfeed at your desk. (I'm a little more radical, with printouts of the Ad Council posters with the dandelion/otoscope/ice cream boobs above my desk.)

You sound like you are doing an awesome job. If you need pumping support, PM me anytime.
And your DS is a total cutie!!!!

BTW, if they complain about biohazard mumbo-jumbo, let me know. BM is not considered a biohazard and I can get you documentation.

[Janice in Canada]

I think you should seriously consider demanding that all conversation relating to your pumping, breastfeeding, (even your baby, if needed) be OFF LIMITS.

Don't discuss it, period, and tell them that you won't discuss it, and walk away.

You sound outnumbered, and its unlikely that you will change minds by education. If there are any young women that might be influenced, it sounds like all the office is aware of what you are doing, anyhow, and these young women will, by your example, be exposed to breastfeeding and good devoted mothering. If THEY approach, privately in an appropriate manner, and ask questions, then you can address them.

I went back to work at 9 months (we had 6 month mat. leave in Canada then) I worked from home, but periodically had to spend LONG days in close contact with my manager. So I'd be engorged, leaking etc. They were very aware that I was still breastfeeding, because I had argued with them about the conditions of my return to work.

I quickly decided that I WOULD NOT discuss my parenting with them - it was none of their business, and would only be used against me. I would ONLY discuss the quality of my work.

As horrible as this sounds, don't mix your parenting and work - especially if you need your job. I think what they are saying would be considered sexual harrassment here in Canada, but if you are bringing up the topic, then you are being inappropriate, also.

I think you need to demand that it not be discussed - if they keep bringing it up, you need to go to manager, and have him demand that they stop.

Just my 2 cents, and my experience.

Janice

[PapayaMom]

Your baby is beautiful! What a sweet little guy.

As for the fridge comment I would tell them I don't want their smelly food next to your precious bm. Biohazard... :

Sorry you have to deal with that, it makes returning to work that much less pleasant

[dawndup]

I am so sorry you're putting up with all this crap from your co-workers! I am appalled by what I'm reading - I was lucky to not run across any of this over the course of my working and pumping. I'm shocked that some of those attitudes are out there.

In a way I agree with Janice from Canada. Your pumping and your parenting in general are your business and it's not a matter for your co-workers to be concerned about. I sort of had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about my pumping. If one of my co-workers asked what was in the bag or where I was going at 10:30, I'd tell them very directly - it's a breast pump, and I'm off to pump now but I'll be back in 20 minutes. I kept the milk in a lunchbox in the fridge (I was mostly afraid of the milk getting thrown out by someone well-meaning), and I transported it to and from the lactation room in the lunchbox. I never had a problem with my co-workers knowing that's what I did, but I didn't want to draw a ton of attention to it... I needed to keep the focus on my being an employee and not a lactating mother.

I'm thinking if I were in your shoes... the first time someone asked me a rude question or made a remark, I'd just respond to them calmly and directly and then let the matter drop. If they give you crap a second time though, go to HR. It is your right to pump at work, it's your baby's right to receive your milk, and repeated harassment from your co-workers is way out of line.

I wouldn't go out of my way to educate them... just be direct if asked innocent questions and go about your business. Over time they'll see that what you're doing is natural and completely compatible with being a good employee, and they'll lighten up about it. Maybe they'll encounter another new mom who's considering a return to work, and they'll tell that new mom about you and it'll inspire her to pump.

good luck to you... I hope they just ease up and don't force you to escalate.

[Kleine Hexe]

Go to the LLL website and look up your state laws. For example in FL an employer is required to give you a space to pump and store your milk...by law. You should not have to pump in the bathroom.

When I was doing my intern I pumped. At first I pumped in the bathroom until a woman saw me and told me to follow her. She took me to a conference room that is not in use all day. She told me to just hang a sign that says do not disturb when I used it. She was very nice and I later found out that she was the vice-president of the company! She did give me a slight shocked look when I told her my baby was 16 months old! She made no comment though.

I also stored my milk in the fridge in the break room. I put the milk in a insulated lunch bag with my name on it. No one ever asked what was in it.

One time I was out in the "field" (out of the office) and I needed to pump. My coworker was a woman and she was the one driving so I told her I was going to pump in the backseat. She said that was fine with her and told me how her sister used to use her dorm room to pump between classes so she was used to seeing a pumping mom.

Go to HR and make a complaint. Know your rights and look up your state laws. Tell your co-workers to mind their own business. Good luck and congratulations! Keep up the great work! You're an awesome mama.

[bec]

I agree with the others. You do not need to educate, justify, or make excuses to your coworkers. I would complain to my supervisor, and if they didn't take care of it, I would complain to HR. They are creating a hostile work environment for you by these comments. It needs to stop. I would also demand someplace other than the bathroom to pump. It is not sanitary to have to pump there. Help me out here, ladies, are there any laws to help out here?

As far as pumping in the car, I know lots of people who do. I've done it any number of times. As a passenger and driver. I have never gotten any stares. The things that make pumping in the car possible are a hands free pumping bra, a car adapter, and a loose enough shirt so it can be pulled down over the horns. You can hook up and off in a more private area while pulled over. I'd be surprised if anyone noticed.


Bec

[MommytoTwo]

wow- so nice to have supprtive people in your life, huh? I dont have any advice except that I personally would rather pump in the car. Granted someone may see you, but they'd have to really look to see what youre doing, plus its clean and you can listen to some music or talk radio or something and just relax. You could always get the windows tinted for privacy. It only costs about $100. JMO

[Mrs Dimples]

I, too, have pumped in the car many a time and I would do that over the bathroom if you possibly can. I agree with the previous posters - this is NOT something you need to justify, defend, or rationalize. It is none of their damn business how you feed your baby. You need to be direct and firm about that. You have tried education, but IMO in this situation it is not worth your time and energy. It would be one thing if they were asking sincere, open questions and genuinely wanting information regarding pumping/BFing...but their behavior clearly indicates hostility, ignorance, and it is COMPLETELY, 100% inappropriate. You do NOT deserve it, you have done nothing to earn this treatment, and you do not have to answer to them. End of discussion. They can only push you around if you let them. The law is on your side, you just hold your head (and your flanges ) up high and keep on truckin'. You're doing a great job!

ETA: Your nursling is just beautiful. That is one of the sweetest pictures I have ever seen. I swear, when I have a nursling, I am going to photograph us from every angle and hang the pictures all over the house. That is my dream...:

[Meiri]

Since you have your own little cooler that plugs in, there's no reason for them to say word one about your milk or you walking it from the bathroom to your office.

Since the CDC doesn't consider humanmilk to be biohazardous, they are out of line to say anything along those lines too, but again since you're not using the "community" fridge, it's none of their business.

I think the advice to say nothing to them, start nothing with them, is good too, FWIW.

[FillingMyQuiver]

Your babe is so sweet and beautiful Kudos to you for doing what's best for him, no matter what. s to you for having to deal with selfish, ignorant, uninformed people I agree with pps. Don't bring it up, use your cooler, and keep on pumping. I also think you should familiarize yourself with your state laws, maybe your company has never come across a pumping mama and that's why there's no lactating room I would definitely pump in the car instead of the bathroom : Get some pump wipes from Medela to clean your pump flanges, etc.
Keep up the good work mama, your son is so lucky to have such a loving mama

[MarineWife]

I agree with the PP that suggested you talk to someone in HR. If you don't have an HR department, talk to the person who would most likely handle these types of situations. You have a legal right to do what you are doing and it is no one else's business and no one should be making any comments or faces or anything else about it. That type of thing is equivalent to sexual or racial harassment. I think some sensitivity training is absolutely in order for your co-workers. If you can (I know this can be difficult), also tell those people yourself that what you are doing is none of their business and they need to leave you alone about it.