a few random questions

[MommytoTwo]

1- what is the secret to nursing discreetly in public??? I know some people hate that term, but I want to nurse discreetly for my OWN comfort- not other peoples. I feel like there is boob hanging out everywhere, it takes me 2 minutes to just get my shirt up and get my boob situated and meanwhile the baby is squirming all over the place. Then she latches on and off 20 times and when she is finally on she isnt quiet and peaceful - no she has to SLURP. Geez. LOL


2- DD will not let anyone else comfort her, and FREAKS out if I am not around. Yesterday I pumped a bottle and took DS to the movies to have some alone time with him, and I had to come home. Not only would she not take the bottle, but she was inconsolable. I was just wondering if this very strong attachment is because of BFing? DS was not breastfed, and he was certainly very attached to me, but he wouldnt cry every time someone else held him.

[Benji'sMom]

Well, your DD is so young, babies don't even become self aware till much later. She and you are the same person, in her mind. You're all she knows. She won't be that way forever.

[loving-my-babies]

well, I nurse in public discreetely and yet I never cover myself or ds. I think it is possible. I have bought lots of nursing tank tops that are really cute, so I look good and can nurse without lifiting my shirt so everyone can get a good look at those post-partum rolls :LOL I think it's very possible to nurse discreetly without actually hiding it. I also hold my breast while nursing (just because I always have, even though I don't have large breasts, it's for some reason more comfortable for me to hold the breast while he's nursing) and that covers whatever skin can be seen, so it's not a problem at all. About leaving your baby, she's still very small, so I would try to be with her as much as I can, if my babies cry I usually don't go out at all and stay with them, when possible ofcourse (it's always been possible in my case, but I am aware some mamas have to work so that is different) I have been to the movies with both my kids, dd is 3 1-2 and ds is (almost) 9 months.

[velcromom]

I agree, she is so tiny and remember she has spent the majority of her existence not just in contact with you, but in a very real way, as a part of you. She just does not feel right without you. It may or may not be that it turns out she is one of those children that needs closer proximity to mom for longer. Right now she's just telling you what she needs - her mama!

Ok nursing in public in a way YOU are comfortable with is a super skill to have, you just need to practise til you find what works for you. Remember that you have the prime view, so it may look like all is bared to the world when really from a different perspective you are covered. (And then there are certainly those moments when yes it IS all bared to the world, it's happened, the sky didn't fall!) One thing that works for me better than most nursing shirts ever did, is to wear a loose cami or tank under my shirt. Then all I have to do is reach up, pull the cami down and open my bra. I suggest doing this before you get the baby into nursing position so that you are all situated and not rushing to open up for a baby who is already rooting at you! Then just put baby in position, and lift up the outer shirt but with your thumb instead of fingers. As your hand reaches the baby's mouth and your nipple, keep your palm turned toward your body and your hand will cover the latching on procedure. Let your hand remain there til she is latched on then when you let go your outer shirt will fall over your breast and if you want to you can arrange the fabric to cover baby's mouth. If she'll let you.

For the whole wiggly baby, unlatching and latching back on scenario, look for places to sit where you are positioned with your back to the room. That way your whole shirt could fly off and no one would see anything you don't want them to.

Can't help you with the slurping!! I'd just smile and know she's really enjoying herself! If I went out and you were there nursing with your baby slurping away I'd think it was really cute and miss the days when my baby was that little.

These things have helped me to meet my baby's needs in situations where I chose to be discreet. I do not suggest them because I think a mom "should" be discreet, I think a mom should nurse whenever, wherever, and in whatever manner enables them to do so without feeling any stress about it.

[TiredX2]

what is the secret to nursing discreetly in public???

The best suggestion I have heard is to wear a tight undershirt under your regular shirt (this will work esp. good in the winter) and just cut slits in it directly over your breasts. Tuck it into your pants. Then, you can lift your regular shirt up and just stick your breast through the slit--- you stay covered up except for a very small part. What I do not recommend is a blanket--- it SCREAMS, "nursing baby under here!"

DD will not let anyone else comfort her, and FREAKS out if I am not around. Yesterday I pumped a bottle and took DS to the movies to have some alone time with him, and I had to come home. Not only would she not take the bottle, but she was inconsolable. I was just wondering if this very strong attachment is because of BFing? DS was not breastfed, and he was certainly very attached to me, but he wouldnt cry every time someone else held him.

I bfed both my kids and didn't really leave DD consistently until she started pre-school at 3.75. DH would watch her on occasion while I took a bath, esp after DS was born. I had to take her while I went to the bathroom, couldn't shower, held her as she slept for naps until she stopped napping, etc... DS was much easier to leave, though he also had his times. I don't think it is necessarily related to her being bfed, but maybe you bfeeding her is one way that you acknowledge & accomidate that intense desire to be close to you. You might just need to not be apart from her for "that long" until she is a little older.

Good luck! I remember that as a really exhausting time!

[soccerchic21]

Originally Posted by MommytoTwo

1- what is the secret to nursing discreetly in public???

Big shirts! LOL I stopped using a blanket when Dd was about 7 months old or so she kept ripping it off I don't blame her now so I just started wearing larger shirts and it works great...for me

As far as your child being upset. When DD was that small we would warm a blanket in the dryer for about 5 minutes and swaddle her in it and that worked like a charm.

[Baby Hopes]

I second the idea of a white undershirt with slits cut in. Not only do you save $$ on nursing clothing but you cover any belly rolls you might be uncomfortable with. Another idea that I have heard for covering stomach (especially if your DD is like mine and refuses to have a blanket or shirt anywhere near her face.) is to drape a blanet over your nursing arm before you position your daughter for feeding. That way your stomach/side is conceiled.

My daughter has not only is known for doing the latch-unlatch... but she's on more than one occassion sat straight up, unannounced. Consequently I keep my hand near my breast. Usually holding my breast while she nurses. That way if she unlatches my palm is there to cover my nipple.

I have, admittedly, flashed the room a few times. But like a PP mentioned. The sky did not fall. lol.

[MommytoTwo]

Thanks for all the tips!!!

I just want to add that I certainly dont mind that my daughter is so attached! I love it. Its just that I feel sort of bad for DH and the grandparents sometimes. But they'll have to deal till she is ready! Thanks again.

[Janice in Canada]

NIP tips:
- I always bought nursing bras with snaps in the middle, between the cups, rather than up on the bra staps. I thought that was a way more discreet way to open the bra - I just leaned forward (as if I was going to reach for something in a diaper bag on the floor at my feet) my shirt would fall away from my body, I'd reach one hand up under my shirt, and unsnap one side. Have baby on your lap, pointed in right direction. While still leaning forward slightly (depending on boob size, I guess) lift shirt and latch baby. arrange shirt to cover boob. sit back, sometimes I'd cross my leg or use the diaper bag to raise baby to right level, if needed (i was only a 36 C when nursing). Relax, and make eye contact with people around you. If too much boob is showing at top, rest your hand near baby's face to cover the gap.

In really public places, or near someone you are especially uncomfortable with, you can turn your back to them slightly (or hide behind dh) and still be part of the crowd, but that person really can't see much. Your arm that is holding baby's head, should be able to cover the belly that might be showing from the side or under your boob.

Janice