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The Second Birthdays are here! *Nov/Dec 02* - Page 8

post #141 of 399
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by *solsticemama*
Ok do any of your dhs feel you're not spending enough time on them?
Mine feels unappreciated, because he does way more work towards family sanity than the average man and I kind of expect it of him. He says I'm not liberated, just lazy. :LOL Maybe I am lazy, but I still bust my butt all day. *sigh* Of course, I work harder than the average parent. I don't like listening to my kids cry, and will put soothing them above things like doing laundry and cooking dinner.

[RANT]My sister gave me a load of crap today for "not watching my kid" because I didn't follow BeanBean the entire time I was there. She yells at him for doing normal things, threatens him and calls him names and she has no idea that she's coming closer and closer to pushing me over the edge. If she ever raises a hand to my son.... I'm so sick of the namecalling and whining, though. She does the same thing to my nieces, and then calls me a bad parent because I don't threaten them or try to terrify them into doing my will. She is not a believer in TCS; in fact, she doesn't take anyone seriously except for herself, and that's sad because she's a complete joke. What the heck does she think she's going to accomplish by calling my two year old son a spoiled brat or a pain in the a$$, or telling him that his mother is a lazy b!tch? What a ! [/RANT]
post #142 of 399
Well, we had a craptacular day around here. We started off by going to Tyson's 2 year well baby visit. I talked with his doctor about the penny still being in his stomach and the risks involved with just leaving it there until it decides to move. So, by the end of the conversation, she has decided to refer us to a pediatric gastroenterologist about 50 miles away. This guy decides he wants an updated abdominal x-ray before we see him so we head off to our hospital for that. The x-ray showed it's still in the same spot. So then this doctor decides we need to do a barium study before we go see him. So, Thurs morning we are scheduled for that. How in the world are we going to convince our 2 year old to drink the gross stuff for the barium study!? I'm so dreading it! Then they'll do a series of x-rays once he has drank the stuff. The poor kid is so sensitive and so leary of strangers and new situations and now all this! I will say though, he handled the x-ray beautifully today. He seems to get it that it's not gonna hurt or anything now that he's had 3. I just have horrible visions of him not drinking the stuff and spitting it out and all that. HOpefully he won't have to drink too much. DH will go with us so that usually helps.

I'm feeling good about getting the referral, I want someone to evaluate him who is a specialist in both peds and the GI system. I just hate the trauma he may have to endure.

I hope all you sick mamas feel better soon...no one told me how hard it is to parent when there are no sick days! Hang in there!
post #143 of 399
Originally Posted by Bethkm
no one told me how hard it is to parent when there are no sick days! Hang in there!
No Kidding!! i was soooo sick fri nite and sat morning, puking puking puking. ugh. dh had to work saturday and you know what I just barely tried to keep it together. I felt so weak and just *sick* that i actually turned on teh t.v. and left it on until dh got home. I got out the package of disposables my mom bought months and months and months ago and I used them! I stayed in bed and dd brought books and blocks and cars etc. into the bed and we played there. I was so grateful.

Anyhow.... eilonwy i just don't even know what to say about your sister, except is there anyway NOT to be around her as much? I know you are really involved with your niece.... but your sister is just too much and i can't believe she thinks she can say that kind of stuff around you, to your kids, etc. and not think you might be tempted to kick her in the @$$.

as for the whining, we have it full tilt here and there are moments I really have to step away take a deep breath and remind myself that this is a stage and will not last forever (someone please tell me it won't last forever!) Mostly I try to model for her the way I would like her to speak to me. We are definetley going through some developmental milestone kinda things here and I'm just trying to weather the storm. I definetley can relate to what you said, solsticemama about not being so fresh two years into the parenting.

As for dh, he's feeling much better these days since Zoomba is going to sleep earlier and sleeping so much better. He had never said anything before, but latley there have been lots of comments about how nice it is to have some uninterrupted time together in the evenings.

Good Luck with your move Rose

Bethkm, Good luck with all the doctor stuff. I'll definetley be thinking about you guys this week. My dd sounds a lot like your son temperment wise. We had to have some x-rays and medical work done when she was ten months old and it was awful for all the reasons you said - new people, doing weird things. The xrays were teh worst, you can't reason with a ten month old to hold still..... anyhow, best of luck to you and your son. I hope it isn't too bad for him. (or you!)

Where's Casina?

Just reread your earlier post eilonwy, and I wish I had some good advice for you. All I can say is that I can relate (and I only have one right now!) There have been times I've been tempted to call my dh home too. Time alone is always nice, but I don't know how you do it when you have a babe BooBah's age. Do you have any friends nearby? Sometimes just having a mama friend over helps so much, even with all the kids in the mix. And honestly, and I hope that I'm not offending you cause I know family is family, but honestly, Id try to stay away from your mom and sis for a little while until you are feeling better. eek. i always feel funny about giving personal advice like this. Anyhow, if there is anything at all that I can do to help, please lmk.

okay, i've said enough. Good Night Mamas.
post #144 of 399
Thread Starter 
The sister giving me all the grief is not my nieces' mother-- that one is busy trying to lead a normal life. She wants to lose forty pounds and join the Air Force, leaving her children with me & mom. It may sound a little strange, but this would actually be a wonderful thing for her and for the kids. They get along so much better when they don't have to see each other all the time! Sister A has the kids and sister E is just a whiny little hellion. E is living at my mom's house because she did something stupid and was kicked out of the place she was staying before as a result. She's not paying my mom rent (I did when I lived there, and A does now); in fact, she took mom's ATM card last month and spent a whole bunch of money she didn't have, so my mom hasn't had a telephone for the past two weeks. That's right-- E spent the money mom was going to pay the phone bill with, but I'm the irresponsible one. A works 40+ hours a week at an assisted living facility, at night; E sits on her butt watching television. If it was me, mom would be all over me telling me to get a job and give her some money, but that's an old story in my family-- I'm supposed to be responsible for everyone else, all the time, no matter what. I really let mom have it today, I told her flat out that if I had been doing the crap that E is doing now, she'd have kicked my butt out on the street and I didn't want to hear her whining at all about not having a telephone or anything else that E does, because she's a self-righteous little brat and mom doesn't want to do anything about her anyway (except complain to me, like I should fix it, and then admonish me if I actually attempt to).

I have to see them fairly regularly, because there are no doctors around here who take my insurance or the kids', and getting that changed is a real pain in the neck. So, in order to take the kids to the dr (and by kids, I generally mean BooBah; BeanBean is very healthy) I have to go to my mom's house and drop BeanBean off for a few hours. Every time I do it, my sister E has a canary about it-- you'd think I was abandoning my child forever the way she talks. Just today, she tried to ream me out for "ditching" him. As if! I was gone for an hour and a half!

Hm. I could go on and on about this, I'm really pissed off, but I probably shouldn't. It can't be healthy, you know?

Tonight, I made sweet potatos. I cooked them with pineapple and marshmallows. I offered a marshmallow to my niece, who took it happily. BeanBean asked for one, so I gave him one too. ChibiChibi made appreciative noises and said "Mmmmm, I love marshmallows!" BeanBean made a funny face and said, "oooooh, I hate marshmallows!" It was hilarious, he kept sucking on it and licking it, but he had this horrified look on his face and he couldn't stand it. He kept eating it because his cousin was, but once she finished hers he snuck into the kitchen and put his in the trash. : What a funny little man my Bean is! :LOL
post #145 of 399
Well, yesterday sucked, mamas. I have an ectopic pregnancy. I had a d & c done at the hospital yesterday and then a shot of methotrexate that will hopefully dissolve the pregnancy so I don't have to have surgery.

It's been very emotionally draining. :*(
post #146 of 399
Oh Rachel

words fail me....

please take care of yourself and know that im here for you anytime.

post #147 of 399
Rachel, s to you, mama. Be gentle with yourself for the next little while.

Bethkm, it sounds so distressing, what you're describing having to go thru with your ds. May it all go smoothly and harmoniously.

Today is garbage day. One round of trucks has already gone by and ds didn't wake up but there's still another round to go so I could find myself outside, pre-dawn, gazing at the garbage trucks with a very enthusiastic toddler in my arms. :LOL

Punk, sending you feel good vibes
post #148 of 399
thanks mamas!
post #149 of 399
Rachel. So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.
post #150 of 399
Hi moms! just wanted to post this in case some of you haven't seen it yet

Read this thread, and help our MDC sisters in need! http://www.mothering.com/discussions...7&page=1&pp=20
post #151 of 399
Thread Starter 
Oh Rachel, . I have no idea what to say.
post #152 of 399
rachel im so sorry for your loss..
know that we are always here to support you in any way that we can.. be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve..its okay to be sad.

its strange..never meeting you women, but feeling like i know you and your little ones. the world is a stranger place every day.

elwynn slept in him own room in his own bed for the first time last night...till about 1am..then he came to our room.. but thats okay because i couldnt sleep i missed him so much. go figure! i wanted my bed back and then i couldnt sleep without him.

my love for this small child exceeds anything i have ever experienced before and anything that i could have ever imagined.

today is cold and foggy. it snowed close by here, but not actually at our house. today elwynn and i are going to go on an adventure for a shower curtain.
post #153 of 399
i'm sorry rachel. sending healing vibes your way.

hello everyone. my email didn't work and then mdc was down and i still don't get notified regularly. there's my excuses. i have missed y'all even tho i haven't gotten around here. i still have a page left to read.

ruby turned two and usually i spend the time thinking about the labor but really i just thought about having another baby girl.
she is starting to put two words together.

we are suffering from the usual post thanksgiving dilemma of being sickly. every year i forget that we don't have this problem hoping it was just a fluke. we'll be better by the time the winter holiday comes around and we see all the same people and we all complain about being sick.

i've been knitting lately while nursing.
we still sleep together all of us. two queen beds on the floor, no boxspring. i'be been ready to build a platform. i'm sandwiched between clay and ruby nursing and we are turned with our feet towards reed and damen on the end. sometimes it is cute and heavenly, sometimes not. reed is four feet tall and sometimes stinks and kicks hard.

chopsticks, my mom brags that i used them at 19 months. i do have really good fine motor skills, and i think many asian peoples do as well. my sons cannot use chopsticks other as toys. ruby may fare better since she draws better than both of them. in taiwan i did see toddlers using chopsticks and my baby uncle was adept and he was three. he probably had no other choice!

more crying from the sick crew. they have been waking all night and i get my sleep when they get up in the morning. yikes.
post #154 of 399
s and healing vibes to Rachel, and casina. Pretend I drove over to your houses this morning and brought you tea and made you cinammon toast, and watched your kids so you could take a bath...

Good luck with the move, Rose. I told DH that if we ever move again we're either selling or burning all of our stuff, and buying new. :LOL

My kids actually just got OUT of a really bad rut of whining and crying ALL DAY LONG. For a long while I was just trying to get through one day at a time- I felt like I was drowning and struggling hard to keep my head above water. I felt so stressed, and DH really doesn't do much around the house. I wasn't getting enough coverage from the nursing agency to take care of Crystal. One or both of the babies seemed to be crying constantly, and I never had a moment's peace, and my home didn't feel like a safe haven. On top of that I couldn't really go anywhere to re-charge because Zachary couldn't be without the boob for more than a few hours at a time (he'd SCREAM), and I was getting flack from friends/relatives about weaning him so I could get some free time. I finally just slipped back into reality. I'm not sure what happened to make me change my way of thinking, but it's much better now! I re-arranged furniture so the positive energy could flow better. I decluttered the house. I bought more plants inside and out! I tried to exercise more. I took a deep breath before I yelled at the kids, and believe it or not IT HELPED. The kids' became more cooperative and calm when I wasn't getting so upset all the time. I wholeheartedly believe that our attitudes reflects upon the kids. I'm not saying that you're a bad parent if your kid is a big brat (LOL), because sometimes we just can't "control" our kids no matter what we want them to do. But I am proof that if you take the time to "be in the moment" (as solsticemama has said) and relax a little, your kids will follow your lead and they'll be more patient too. I wasted a lot of time being sad, stressed, angry, and tired when I should have been trying to get my head out of the insomnia-induced fog to actually enjoy my children. Every day is a chance for them to learn something, and every lesson is a memory. I don't want them remembering Mama as a mean, stressed, yelling person. That's helped me get through the whiney phases.

Speak of the devil, my little screamer is requesting my attention...
post #155 of 399
Thanks so much mamas. I appreciate it! :*)

LMAO Leah! Imagine I had a great time.
post #156 of 399
Rachel~ I hope that you are feeling better these days. Maybe there will be another baby in your future.
post #157 of 399
leah, what a wonderful post.
it took me a long time to realize that i was trying to follow the myth of being a calm, soothing, warm mother at all times. as long as my children feel loved, it is okay to show my true emotions of anger, irritation and annoyance and fatigue. it has been learning how to handle those emotions in a mature nonoffensive manner that will take me a lifetime! i've probably been more determined to learn so that the crazy monster people i spawn happen to be lovable respectful crazy monster people i can live with. but i've come to embrace feeling real, instead of faking it. though sometimes faking it a little does help towards the real, like smiling. it is amazing what powers smiling has with my kids that no words in the world have.
post #158 of 399
I am starting to hear my mother's voice coming out of my head and it's freaking me out! When DS stands across the house from me and yells "MOMMA!", I can't help but eventually yell back "WHA-AT!" I'm glad I'm not hte only one who gets annoyed adn frustrated. THanks for a great post Leah, you are so right!

We made it through the barium swallow test despite a rude radiologist who acted like DS should love him and should just gulp down the barium. DS wouldn't drink it from the cup or the straw, so I asked for an oral syringe. The radiologist says, "how about getting a 4 oz bottle?" I said he would take a bottle and the guys like, "well, what WILL he take?!" I again said the oral syringe would work in a not so nice voice. I forgot how so many physicans think they are hot sh*t and like to push people around. I'm an RN but haven't worked in 2 years so I forgot how rude some of them are.

ANyway, Tyson hated it but seems to understand why we are doing this and then when it's over he is fine and needs to tell people about it for a few days. Good healthy processing. We're waiting to hear back from the pediatric gastoenterologist so we'll see. But it's still in there!
post #159 of 399
: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAEVEN SOlEIL! and jasanna too!

i remember when haeven was born. i was still pragnant with elwynn and when i heard that she had been born i burst into tears of joy and excitement because it meant that soon i would meet my own little one. i hope that you have a wonderful day today with your girls jazz. i wish that we could be there to celebrate with you.

we love you all very much! fern, elwynn and timothy
post #160 of 399
Yay! Happy Birthday Haeven!!!

Zachary's birthday was Friday, and we had a party. Zachary wasn't feeling well, and he only had a half hour nap, so he was sleepy and overwhelmed through the whole thing. Earlier that day I tried to explain that his friends would be coming over and he said "Yay, friends!" Then I named each one, and he'd repeat their names, so I thought he'd kinda be ready for all the people coming over. But he mostly played by himself and watched the older kids play. He had fun, though. And of course, throughout the day I'd look at the clock and remember what I was doing two years earlier ("Oh, right now I was 5 centimeters and very uncomfortable!")

I got to meet saritasmile!!! She drove 2 1/2 hours with her DS and SO to come to Zachary's party. It was awesome to meet Sarah in person, and Razi is absolutely ADORABLE! Sarita showed me one of her slings, and they are really beautiful. If anyone is in the market for one, contact her. (Isn't it great that we have our very own diapermaker [Rachel] and slingmaker [Sarah] in this group?!) Actually, Sarita's SO was my older brother's best friend from first grade through about junior high. They've stayed in touch over the years, and somehow Sarita and I wound up in the same forum on MDC... Weird. (Or "wee-ud" in Razi-speak :LOL)

Someone is banging something very hard against the wall in Zach's room, so I better go check on my crazy little monsters... Uh-oh, now there's screaming...
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