2nd timers: how should this birth be different?

[Mindy70]

NO PICTOCIN!!! That stuff is evil. Oh, it worked, it sped things up alright. But the contractions were so painful, I asked for drugs, and they gave me Stadol. That had me out beyond belief, and when I came to, I felt the urge to push but was too groggy or drugged to articulate my feelings out loud. I just kept grabbing the nurse's arm. By the time I could talk right and ask for an Epi, it was too late and I went w/o.

So this time....I hope....no pictocin, no drugs, walk more, and yes, I want an Epidural

[iamama]

I think an epi is a drug.

[kathywiehl]

Epi is a drug, but if you want it, get it!!

For me, this one is going to be a homebirth!!!!! Last time, I birthed in a hospital with midwives, no drugs, but still had the stupid nurse trying to get dh to fill out paperwork while I was in transition!!! I guess they couldn't tell by the way I was crying and swearing and fidgeting I got left in the bathroom having hard contractions so he could answer stupid questions!

This time, I will be in my own home, in my own bed and doing it MY Way!!!

Okay so after typing the words "my way" I now have the stupid ebay commercial stuck in my head! It can't even be Frank Sinatra's version of my way, it has to be ebay- geez! I need to get some sleep!

[NiksMom]

Um, hopefully a vbac! The only consoling thought if I have to have another section is that at least I know what to expect this time around
Trying not to have any expectations at this point until I get further along. If this one is breech like my first- that will make or break the vbac idea.

[twouglyducks]

My first was a hospital birth. Vaginal delivery. Easy labor up to 8 cm when they broke my water without saying much first, and for no reason other than the ob wanted to get home. Then 1.5hrs later I was in transition (didn't know this at the time, I was pretty labor stupid) and they kept pushing drugs, so I said fine to a shot. Got Stadol, did nothing for the pain, but I was ready to push right as it kicked in. I couldn't think straight and baby's heartrate was dropping a bit (Duh, you just gave me staidol) so they hurried him out. About 4 contrax, an episiotomy and a vacuum job later, my 9lb6oz 14.5" headed boy was out. He had a huge lump on his head, to the side of his crown, so that didn't help him come out any easier.

Oops... didn't mean to get so into that. Anyway, for a million WRONG reasons, we decided on induction second time. DUMB!! Broke water, nothing happened. Pit started, more pain, but nothing happening. Check me after 9 hours and I'm only 3cm and baby's shoulder is presenting. Can't turn him so I get a section.

This time I am having a homeVBAC with a midwife. I think I'd rather not have the MW but hubby would be way too nervous all alone here and I don't have but one friend who supports birthing at home. No one else I know even thinks I should be upset about having a section.

Didn't mean to make this a novel, sorry. But this time, I'd listen to myself and my instincts, not the OB or nurse. No drugs, period (being at home and not having them available should make it easier to do without). Hated the epi with my section... what a helpless feeling. Only being able to hold your newborn with one arm up against your neck for a few hours until you start unnumbing.

[~Nikki~]

Hmm, if everything goes pretty much the opposite of last time, I'll be a happy girl. :P

I went in at about 8am on a Monday, in active labour, and didn't give birth until 2am on Wednesday. Within those hours, I went for about 22 hours with no drugs, hanging out on a birthing ball. Then they pressured me into taking something called Nubain, to slow down my contractions so I could sleep (I was exhausted). I'll never take that drug again. It totally stopped the labour, so they started me on pitocin, and jammed an epi into me. I ended up strapped to the bed with all these wires and monitors attached to me, it was horrible. They finally tried to pull her out by vacuum, and then took her by emergency c-section when her heartrate started slowing down. At least I got her right away, though. She didn't leave my side the whole time, as our hospital frowns on the concept of nurseries. So that was good.

So this time, I'm really hoping for a VBAC, with no drugs. We'll see how it goes.

[Pepper]

Wow, these birth stories really make me sad. Sad for the Mamas who had to endure unnecessary interventions and sad for the babies denied their right to a natural birth.

I encourage anyone wanting a different type of birth from their first one to read Henci Goer's The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth . It will truly empower you and you will learn so much about how and why the cascade of interventions is unnecessary and harmful to both you and your babe.

Anyway, to answer to OP, with my second birth I pushed for much less time: 55 minutes down to 10 minutes. I felt much better afterwards (but that could have been because I didn't have an episiotomy and I had no drugs whatsoever or any interventions). I felt much more confident because I was already a mother and was comfortable in that role as opposed to learning as I went like the first time. I also was more demanding during birth and afterwards because I knew that I was in charge of everything that happened to me and my baby. The first time I kind of went along with what they did and suggested...the second time I declined everything except the basic newborn exam.

In the coming months, I hope that everyone who carries around any guilt or regret over their first birth will educate themselves and develop the knowledge and confidence to make sure their next birth goes exactly that way they want it to.

[Awaken]

Hi, good question. I have been thinking about it a lot.

Actually, I want my first birth to happen all over again!!! Very short, we got to the biith center a few minutes before I gave birth, it all happened too fast to even get worried, no time or desire for meds, I went home a few hours later.

Perversely, I always feel that I totally lucked out and I can't possibly get that lucky again. I am going to do hypnobirthing again this time so hopefully that will increase my chances of a 'good' birth. My son was only 5# 9oz for no apparent reason, so I bet this time the baby will be bigger and the labor harder. And I am so worried on the other hand that the labor will be even faster this time and I'll give birth in the car or on the side of the road- last time we were stuck in rush hour traffic. And plus the added complication of what to do with a toddler- we have no family around to help.

What I want done differently- I think they cut the cord too soon last time. Also I hope I will be more comfortable about nursing right away, last time I really wanted to, but was nervous, so needed coaxing from the mw's. Oh yeah, last time I was on my elbows and knees and didn't see a thing- I hope this time someone can get me to feel the baby coming out or at least look and see it, I feel bad that I didn't even SEE my son born!

And I'm looking into the necessity of doing the vitamin K shot and the erythromycin eye junk. Does anyone have an opinion on that?

And also, what did you all do with the placenta? It seems a shame to throw away something so awesome that sustained your baby for so long, but if I take it home, what would I do with it???

[Karennnnn]

I think it takes some of us three tries to get it right
My first birth was an induction which ended up being a c-section. Doctor was going out of town, you know the routine. However it was a surrogacy and I didn't want a different doc to deliver me since a lot of effort went into how things were going to be handled (long story short).
The following year I decided to use the same doc since she was so good to me during the surrogacy (no other doc would take me). The entire time it was "Oh my goodness you're huge" and "We will probably induce at 38 weeks" and at 32 weeks I had a sonogram which clocked my son at 9 lb 2 oz. Whatever.
For whatever ungodly reason I agreed to an induction at 38 weeks.
Thank goodness, my son was born without drugs (water was broken and that was all she wrote), after 3 hours of labor, vaginally.
But this wasn't without me fighting with my doctor and the nurses the whole time plus while I was in transition. You have to have an IUPC. You may not get out of bed after your water has been broken. You have to be strapped to these monitors now.
No fetal distress or anything like that.
I finally broke down to get the IUPC because my freaking doctor was calling me on the phone demanding to talk to me telling me that I needed it. This was while I was in transition. I just wanted to be left alone. I said fine. They went to put it in. Missed. Tried again and it was "BREAK DOWN THE BED!". My son was born about 10 minutes later. My doctor made it just in the nick of time. As if we really needed her lol... Then I loved it when she tugged on the placenta to get it out. Talk about a sick feeling.
Overall I was lucky and it as a good experience considering what could have happened.
I won't even get into how the hospital treated my family, but that doesn't happen at all hospitals.
This baby will be born at home. PERIOD.
I'm not going to deal with waiting an hour in a waiting room to be seen for 5 minutes, all the time given scare tactics and told "Why wouldn't you take advantage of an epidural?"
This time someone who truly cares about me and my baby and not her malpractice insurance is going to come to my home and listen to me and listen to my baby and my FAMILY as a whole.
I've just had enough!
Take care,
Karen

[NiksMom]

Mary,
My baby will not be getting the eye gunk in, but I'm not sure about the vitamin k shot- I don't remember my son getting that one.

Concerning the placenta, I never even thought to ask to see it with my c-section. This time around, my sister is doing me a HUGE favor, which she swears I will owe her big time for :LOL She will take the placenta home as soon as possible, boil it, bake it and then crush it into powder for me so I can take it in capsule form. I really think that's the only way I'd be able to digest it.

[mclisa]

The first time I was induced at 11 days post dates. First with cytotec and then with pitocin. I wasn't making much progression so the nurse suggested an epidural. It was lovely. I then slept for 2 hours. Woke up was 9 cm. Waited a bit and was complete. Pushed for 2 1/2 hours. Delivered my little girl straight OP so I could see her wide open eyes as she came out! Was an excellent experience except that I did get stitches because when they come out OP the head diameter is bigger and so I tore. Sore!

The second time around my water broke at 4am 2 days before my due date. Headed into the hospital and still hadn't had any contractions. They monitored me and kept me in bed as the head was high and they were worried about the cord slipping out. Finally they gave me some cytotec to get things going. I think I got a 2nd dose later on as well to augment the contractions I was having. I whirlpooled and did ask for an epidural thinking that it helped me to relax last time. It was the same anesthesiologist as with #1, but this time the epidural didn't work. He tried 3 times and I finally got numb over half of my uterus. Again, a nice OP baby. I only pushed a 1/2 hour this time.

This time my ideal would be to labor at home and get their in time to do the pushing. Otherwise I would like to whirlpool and maybe use some Stadol. I did get some of that with #2 and did OK with it. I could rest in between contractions. I believe I needed the epidural the first time around. Now I have the confidence that I can do this.

[mamabike]

Twouglyducks: I'm with you about following your instincts this time.

My last baby was frank breech. I knew he was breech. I kept asking my dr. "how do you know he's head down....are you sure?" over and over. She insisted he was head down. I went into labour at 37 weeks and was in stage two for 2.5 hours trying to push out my baby backwards. Then, as his bottom crowned they said "ooops" and I ended up with a last minute c-section. Ugh, I get all fiesty just thinking about it. Then, because ds was "premature" (at 6lbs, 5oz with apgars of 9 and 10 - give me a break) he had to stay in NICU for a week. I almost lost my mind. It was a perfectly awful experience. I almost took him out of the hospital without my dr's consent.

This time - VBAC with a midwife at home. No hospitals.
Whew, I feel better.

[Selissa]

this time iam going to be more active, not let other people make decisions for me...and i am kicking anybody who tries to push my placenta out. grrrrr lol