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is there a SAHM forum? - Page 2

post #21 of 232
11/10/04 at 12:58am
Quote:
Originally Posted by boston
-wealthy (aka definitely not poor)
-married
-stay at home mom
-christian
-at least 2 kids
-probably drives an suv or minivan
-midwestern

<snip>

Of course, most of the moms who stay home have maids here, as well as husbands, but whatever.
I agree with most of your post, but I think it is funny how much our opinions of the average Mothering mom differ. I would say,

-poor or at least lower middle class
-married
-sahm
-pagan
-at least 2 kids
-drives a minivan, van, or car
-midwestern
and -no maid

Maybe this is just based on who I have met thru here. I would be totally shocked to learn most mamas here have a maid.

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post #22 of 232
11/10/04 at 1:03am
Wow. You're making a lot of assumptions Boston.


By the way, I'm not rich and I most certainly do not have a maid. None of the MDC moms I've met IRL seem to be unusually wealthy. If you ever looked at the SAHM threads you would see that a lot of us are sacrificing a great deal financially to be SAHMs. Some of the people here do have a lot of money. That's one of the cool things about a forum like this. A lot of people that would otherwise not cross paths IRL do cross paths here.


Cynthia has said that SAHMs cannot have a forum because it would divide the community. So I asked why the WOHM forum was not seen as dividing the community. I never got an answer. I do not begrudge the WOHMs their forum.
post #23 of 232
11/10/04 at 1:33am
A maid?! I don't think I've seen even a single mom here say anything about a maid. I know a lot of SAHMs and none of them have maids. I do think that we are better off than a lot of other people though. Having internet access is a luxury. Unfortunately being able to do things like join organic coops, cloth diaper and buying stuff from WAHMs is not cheap. I don't think most of the moms here are actually poor compared to the rest of the country. I think we're also a pretty educated bunch.
post #24 of 232
11/10/04 at 4:32am
:LOL about the maid thing. I'm going to go to bed tonight and dream that that were true.
post #25 of 232
11/10/04 at 9:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by indie
Wow. You're making a lot of assumptions Boston.
Just trying to fit in here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by indie
By the way, I'm not rich and I most certainly do not have a maid.
Good for you! I didnt say everyone was rich and had a maid. but every single time I log on to this place someone is talking about her maid. Maybe y'all havent seen that, okay fine. The last thing I want to do is accuse everyone of having a maid unfairly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by indie
Cynthia has said that SAHMs cannot have a forum because it would divide the community. So I asked why the WOHM forum was not seen as dividing the community.
Indie, please think for a moment about minority vs majority and why the minority would need a little special treatment. WOHM are minority. So they need a retreat. Plain and simple.
post #26 of 232
11/10/04 at 10:34am
I think it's actually really hard to find support here (in one place) hence why I feel it imperitive we have a SAHM board, as everything is scattered about. and no I don't feel everything here is directed to SAHM's at all.

we are definitly not rich or have a maid! :LOL
post #27 of 232
11/10/04 at 10:39am
Okay I've just changed my mind about the need for the SAHM thing. Personally, I think it would be nice if there was a SAHM board, if only to assert that this is *not* the standard. Even though it kind of is here, it's not in the United States at large (forgive my Americancentricism I am working on that.)

So, administrators, if you're reading this and I hope you are, what about it?

Oh and, please note that I am trying to get a single moms forum. Thanks.
post #28 of 232
11/10/04 at 10:43am
can I ask what changed your mind boston? just curious
post #29 of 232
11/10/04 at 10:55am
well I was thinking about it, and how it's just assumed that you're a sahm here, and then it hit me that it maybe shouldnt be that way. maybe it should not be assumed either way. this assumption alienates the working out of home moms, which isn't right.

I guess I think that it wouldnt divide us so much. I think there are a million things already dividing us, it's not likely that a forum for SAHM's will destroy the community. I think that the SAHM forum will be very busy, and when people who id as SAHM's post about everyday stuff in there, a lot of non-SAHM's might miss out because they won't be in that forum. But this could be solved by havinga policy that the SAHM forum is for issues specific to being a SAHM, like...I dunno, scheduling stuff and home-during-the-day centered concerns.

Mostly I think that having a forum for that dynamic would help balance out the site in that WOHM's coming to the site would think, "oh look, this site is inclusive." So mainly I'd want to see the SAHM forum for the benefit of WOHM's, and also because so many of you have posted here arguing that it's needed. I think that says something.
post #30 of 232
11/10/04 at 11:01am
by the way I was being sarcastic about the maid thing. I know not everyone here has maids, not even most. but it is REALLY common here. I do in fact see a maid comment nearly every time I log on. I think part of it is that the majority of us ARE financially stable (as opposed to poor). I see all the time comments about buying brand new expensive cars, expensive diapers, toys, clothes. And no one blinks. But this could also be attributed to the fact that there are thousands of people here, and mostly all of us have internet (still a luxury) and subscriptions to Mothering (luxury). My point being, we are a group of mainly financially stable people. Or else we wouldnt even be talking about 15$ diapers with 300TC and organic mattresses and stuff like that. I dont know, i'd be embarassed to tell anyone if I had a maid, I certainly wouldnt slip it into conversation like some of them do here. After all, we're Mothers. We work our asses off. We don't need to hear people bragging about how much help they have around the house. but that's a touchy subject for me, havign no help whatsoever around the house, I guess. I will try to stop ranting about maid-havers now.
post #31 of 232
11/10/04 at 11:20am
so who do we have to talk to to get a SAHM forum??? or do you think it will never happen mamas?

why does this come up so much if it's not needed?

btw Boston, where I come from live in maids/nanny's are the norm so it doesn't bother me at all..and we are on the border of mexico so it's definitly not a rich area at all in fact much of it is poor. (the live ins are usually not citizens & go back to mexico most weekends) it's just the lifestyle here really and it goes back many generations at that. I really haven't heard of any MDC mamas having one (maid) but I'm sure they are out there :LOL doesn't bother me any. I know we are a diverse group and many are beyond poor without a pot to piss in and many very well off with a fat trust fund..just the way it goes.
post #32 of 232
11/10/04 at 11:21am
oh forgot to say thanks Boston for letting us know. it makes total sense.
post #33 of 232
11/10/04 at 3:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by boston
I guess I think that it wouldnt divide us so much. I think there are a million things already dividing us, it's not likely that a forum for SAHM's will destroy the community. I think that the SAHM forum will be very busy, and when people who id as SAHM's post about everyday stuff in there, a lot of non-SAHM's might miss out because they won't be in that forum. But this could be solved by havinga policy that the SAHM forum is for issues specific to being a SAHM, like...I dunno, scheduling stuff and home-during-the-day centered concerns.
I think that's all that we want. If I'm asking a scheduling issue or something specific to SAHMs then it's not very helpful to hear how WOHMs handle the same issue because it's just very different from my life.
post #34 of 232
11/10/04 at 4:05pm
I can't concentrate on anything else in this thread - I'm too busy daydreaming of being a SAHM with a maid : Talk about your dream life!!!!
post #35 of 232
11/10/04 at 4:43pm
How rich we really are.
post #36 of 232
11/10/04 at 4:54pm
How many of us have maids

post #37 of 232
11/10/04 at 5:39pm
So few of us have maids but the majority of us are in the top salary bracket.
post #38 of 232
11/10/04 at 6:30pm
Thread Starter 
I think charting income levels can be very deceiving, because cost of living varies so much between different areas. An income allowing a family to live a middle-class lifestyle in one place might be quite poor in another. (And from a global perspective, I suspect anyone posting here is "rich" - I mean, how many of us had to worry today about whether our family would have any food?)
post #39 of 232
11/10/04 at 6:47pm
I agree. Our household income might be considered high by some, but our standard of living is poverty. It costs more than $1000 to rent a one bedroom apt. here, and groceries here are easily twice as expensive as elsewhere in the U.S.
post #40 of 232
11/10/04 at 8:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by AJP
I think charting income levels can be very deceiving, because cost of living varies so much between different areas. An income allowing a family to live a middle-class lifestyle in one place might be quite poor in another.
Not to mention the poll doesn't take into account how many kids you have. 50,000+ is awesome for a family of 3, but not necessarily for a family of 8, kwim?

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