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Calling all C-Birth ONLY mamas!

post #1 of 93
Thread Starter 
I want to have a discussion with all mamas that have ONLY had their babes by C-Birth. I want to create a POSITIVE C-Birth place right here @ Mothering.

This is not a place for debate or flaming.

There are just some AP mamas that don't have a choice.

Sign up here! (or pm me!)
post #2 of 93
I've had two c-sections, my daughter is eight and my son is four. I'm now pregnant again, and am 90% sure it will be another c-section.
post #3 of 93
i've also had 2 c-births and i am still having a hard time. i would love to join the group. -katie-
post #4 of 93
count me in...I have a 17 mo dd born by CSB (she is my only child).
post #5 of 93
I had a c-birth in April 2000 and although its not what I really wanted to do, it worked out being the best for my dd. I am now TTC#2 and hope to have a VBAC but if its a c-birth, I hope I won't be too disappointed.

Robin
post #6 of 93
I am a c-birth only mama also! My dear, sweet ds will be 1 on Friday. If/when we have more kids they will come by section also!

I think what you are trying to do is great. Some times I feel left out here with all of the homebirth, natural birth, VBAC talk. I try to look at my delivery in a positive, life-affirming way now! There are two ways to bring children into this world and one way is not better than the other, in my opinion. I am so grateful that c-sections are possible because without them many of us would have never had children, had injuried children, or died in childbirth! It is a life giving surgery!

Susan
post #7 of 93
I had our one and only dd by emergency c section (I was in premature labor at 29 weeks that they couldn't stop). She was high and transverse and the Dr. did a classic cut to get her out



I know it is what was best and safest for her. So I'm ok with it, but do feel sad that if we have any more I'll have to have a csection. I would like to find out about options for a "better" more gentle c section. (This one was under general anesthetic) My dd had to be intubated and was in the NICU and I didn't even see her for about 24 hours. (I was a physical and emotional disaster)

Thank you so much for this thread. I've been feeling really sad lately and sort of depressed about future birth options....

Oh, but dd is lovely and healthy and 13 months now....
post #8 of 93
Thanks for starting this, Treelove. There needs to be space for us as well. I think I'm done with my one daughter, but if I got pregnant again I wouldn't be hugely disappointed nor made to feel inadequate by having another section.
post #9 of 93
Riley's mom- this may not console you, but at least you can be sure that future c-sections will be less traumatic because they will be expected, and you will be able to prepare yourself emotionally. Part of the depression I felt after mine was because I had expected a vaginal birth. I have prepared myself for the possibility this time, so if I have to have another (tho I am going to attempt VBAC) I will be going into it knowing what to expect and feeling more empowered by education and self-preparation, and expect that it will be easier to deal with.
post #10 of 93
Quote:
Originally posted by Lila
Riley's mom- this may not console you, but at least you can be sure that future c-sections will be less traumatic because they will be expected, and you will be able to prepare yourself emotionally. Part of the depression I felt after mine was because I had expected a vaginal birth. I have prepared myself for the possibility this time, so if I have to have another (tho I am going to attempt VBAC) I will be going into it knowing what to expect and feeling more empowered by education and self-preparation, and expect that it will be easier to deal with.
Yes it was really quite a shock...emergency ambulance ride and the whole nine yards, plus a very sick preemie baby.

I have to believe next time would be better, or I'll definitely not get pg again!
post #11 of 93
Both my boys were born by emergency c-sections. Count me in!
post #12 of 93
Thread Starter 
Cool! I thought I might be flamed right outta here!

I had all 3 of my boys by c-birth. My twins were born by classical c-birth at 29 weeks. My water broke at 25 weeks so I feel really good that I was able to hold on to them for 4 weeks without meds or any major interventions. They spent 72 and 84 days in NICU.
I had my 3rd baby by planned c-birth due to the 1st time being a classical. We are hoping to TTC next year. I had found a very controversial midwife to support me in a HBAC, but I actually have a classical and a transverse cut. Also-when I'm pg-just about anything that can go wrong usually does! So a HBACC (extra c for classical) is just too risky in my eyes. I don't think I could labor without fear.

I was hoping to start this thread so we could discuss our thoughts, expiriences, etc re: our very different way of birth. It's so hard to fit into the AP world when you have had a very medical beginning and in my case ALL THREE of my boys were unable to nurse although I tried for months and in one case a year and a half!

I want to hear what YOU think.

How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth?
Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?
How was your recovery?
How did it affect your bonding? self esteem?
What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience?

OR....just talk about anything re:c-births here.
post #13 of 93
No flaming here, Treelove.

How did you come to terms w/ your c-birth?

I'm able to process things very well. I came to terms with the majority of it the moment I found out it was necessary. I wanted to be as empowered as possible throughout the procedure, so I put aside any disappointment in order to be fully present, knowing I would come back to the feelings later. After the birth, as things came up I allowed myself to feel angry, sad, grief, and then let go. I'm not one to blame people, especially myself, so I think it was a fairly clean and quick coming to terms.

Have you made peace with it? If yes, then how?

I'm sure I have mostly made peace with it. Things come up, that's part of the process. I made peace by accepting it.

How was your recovery?

I'm lucky that recovery was ok--I had problems with my incision and that was a drag, but it actually made me take care of myself even better. I learned to ask for help from my mother and DH, which is some thing I probably wouldn't have done.

How did it affect your bonding? self esteem?

Bonding was a challenge, and I let it be that way. I needed to take care of myself first & just had to trust that she would be ok and I'd make it up to her. Once I came out of anesthesia I really only could focus on myself. But she slept with me during those three days in the hospital and we both learned to breastfeed fairly well, and our bonding took its own time. In terms of self esteem--well, it was an opportunity to boost my internal sense of self esteem when I encountered people with the belief that I hadn't really gone through childbirth. I never felt "less than" because I had an abdominal delivery.

What is the most important thing you have learned/gained from you expirience?

Forgiveness. I had to forgive the midwive and myself.

Very thoughtful questions, Treelove-thank you.
post #14 of 93
I still haven't been able to come to terms with my section. My dd is 9 1/2 mo old now. I really wanted a natural birth, and feel like I failed Luckily I had the support of my family, they all reassured me that I did the right thing.

I was in labor for 43 hours and hadn't slept at all, I was not able to handle the pain any longer, plus my blood pressure went up, so we transferred to the hospital (1/2 hour drive ) I got an epidural (it was waiting for me ) When I went in I was only 5 cm dialated and it had been 37 hours. I was exhausted. I did dialate the whole way, but after trying to push for about 20 min, the doc and the midwife suggested a section....

My midwife was in a hurry to get to her son's sporting event, so she wanted what would be quickest, they diagnosed me with CPD...but my baby was only 7 11...so I know that wasn't right. I felt very rushed.....

Next time I hope for a VBAC homebirth, but we'll see

About being able to breastfeed, the hospital was good about that...DH stayed with DD while they stitched me up, and then he was waiting in the recovery room with her when I got there. I called the nurse and told her I wanted to BF right away, she tried to help DD latch on, we had some problems in the beginning. I think it was due to the fact that I couldn't stay awake b/c I was sooooo drugged up.

But everything worked out.

Rachel
post #15 of 93

My first forum, I'm glad you're all here

Can you believe it took me 22 months to finally find a community around this? I didn't think I needed you guys until I found you (too bad there isn't an icon that can express deep gratitude!).

I was definitely feeling like a failure, esp with so many friends who had these dreamy births, including some home births with a full moon and fairies dancing, and mine went so terribly south. Long story short: 2 weeks overdue, induced, maxed on pitocin, no progress, broke my water, hard labor, wanted the drugs and they didn't work!, got an infection from being overchecked, ran a fever, baby went posterior, we are now on day 3 at the hospital on chicken broth and Jello (which isn't real food and I gave to my husband), emergency c-section, but remember the drugs didn't work, so general anesthesia that resulted in my abs getting cut because they couldn't get them out of the way, then three months of haze and fogginess from painkillers and so on. I didn't have that first moment with my daughter, that eye-to-eye first connection, that recognition. When I first opened my eyes I was too doped up to do more than glance at my husband (who was skin-to-skin with her) and fall back asleep.

My daughter is healthy and happy and just amazing, and I am healthy and alive and able to have more children, and of course that should be enough but we all know it isn't, at least not yet. So I am very grateful to know you're all out there -- I've been avoiding reading birth stories in depth and have put on the brave front etc., but the truth is I'm scared to have another child because I don't want another c-section and I'm scared to hope for a VBAC/HBAC. I'm scared to hope for something again. And I'm scared about ruptures and all the what is scenarios (which is what got me into this place the first time). And I'm also a little irritated with all of my well-meaning friends who try to help pinpoint why things went bad with my birth or how it can be better the next time around (if I get asked about VBAC's one more time ...) or what they did right. I know I'm projecting some of this, but some of it is just plain annoying, too!

Thanks for letting me share, I look forward to hearing more from all of you and growing and healing together.
post #16 of 93
Thread Starter 
WELCOME Mayalove!

What a wild ride you've had!

I relate to your post in so many ways. I don't like to hear regular ol' birth stories-'cause I can't relate to 'em. I LOVE hearing preemie stories or c-birth stories cause I feel more in the "norm" there.

I agree that there's more to welcoming a c-birth than just a healthy baby. C-births can make some of us feel robbed. Some are quick to get over it, some are not. My oldest are 4.5 and I still have days that I mourn our troubled beginning.

I also get sick of hearing-a healthy babe is *all* that matters-(altho that is the most important) THAT'S NOT ALL THAT MATTERS!!! I MATTER!!! WHAT I WANTED AND WORKED FOR AND PRAYED FOR AND PREPARED FOR AND HOPED FOR MATTERS!!!

I also feel like I have to justify or explain all the reasons why we had a c-birth, why we had NO other options, why we were unable to breastfeed, how long and hard I tried so "they" don't think of me as "one of those *icky* mainstream moms."

I think my c-births have really messed me up psychologically, but I think the death of my children, had I not consented to the c-births, would have done a LOT more damage....
post #17 of 93
Something I've encountered that I get a little testy about is when people make the assumption that after my birth experience it would be rectified somehow by my having a VBAC the next time around. I know this is the case for many people, but I feel differently--it's just not that big of an issue with me. If I get pg again & have a VBAC, ok. If not, ok too :LOL. I just find it interesting when some people want to project their feelings and impressions on you, when they have no idea how I feel about my experience.
post #18 of 93
Quote:
also feel like I have to justify or explain all the reasons why we had a c-birth, why we had NO other options, why we were unable to breastfeed, how long and hard I tried so "they" don't think of me as "one of those *icky* mainstream moms."
AMEN, sistah!!!!

Background: I worked in early intervention with 2 families whose babies had brain damage - severe brain damage - as the result of negligent care during thier labor and deliveries. Both women should have had c-sections, but were not given them after many, many, many hours in labor. As a result, their children have been permanently affected. One child had to have half of his brain removed at age 1 due to near constant seziures. The other child will probably never walk. They both have vision impairments and delays in all areas of development.

So, my first pregnancy was high risk. I have a bicornuate uterus (not completely septated, but heart shaped at the top) which put me more at risk for late miscarriage or early labor. I made it all the way to 40 weeks after 3 months on bedrest and my doc decided to induce b/c my son was already 9 lbs. 5 oz. and we didn't know how my uterus might "perform" (?) if he got any bigger.

Long story short - labor did not progress, he was presenting face first, heart rate began to drop during contractions, so we went to c-section. I actually told them, "If there is any chance something could affect the baby - I want a c-section. I know two kids that have severe disabilities that may have been prevented had the moms been given one!!!" This was after we knew the heart rate was dropping, about the presentation, etc. The doc was already going to do it - but I sure didn't resist.

I did not have that much trouble after the c-section. I mean, the recovery was a pain, but emotionally I really felt like I knew what these families I worked with were facing for the rest of their lives and I was grateful to have been able to avoid that possibility. I know part of me felt a little "less than" women who had vaginal births, but that was b/c of the things I had heard them say!!!

Second baby: placenta began to detach at 35 weeks and my water broke. Emergency c-section right away. Again, would rather that than a hurt or injured baby.

I do feel like the c-sections (and the slight prematurity w/ #2) interfered with breastfeeding. I had two very sleepy boys at the breast in the beginning. We made it through the problems with #1 and bf until 10 mos. and then with #2 stuck it out for about 5 or 6 weeks and that was it.

And I didn't get to have that "immediately after birth" holding, bonding and breastfeeding time. I got to see them and touch them, but then I was being sewed up, etc. I did room in with both kids, though, and got to see each about an hour after the surgery.

I know I had some issues with not being able to experience a vaginal birth, but I guess seeing firsthand children whose moms should have had them and didn't - and what devastating results arose... kind of put it in perspective for me.
post #19 of 93
Absolutely. I remember one time I was over at birthlove and someone had to audacity to insinuate that our situation wasn't really an emergency.
post #20 of 93
Well, things such as this, and remarks I hear about those of us who were unable to keep breastfeeding, have made me learn a lot about not judging someone else until I know their entire situation. These kinds of things really open my eyes. I still get hurt by some of those types of comments, but it does spur me on to be less judgemental - particularly about parenting.
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