Scared, need support

[kathywiehl]

Okay, I'm feeling very paranoid now. Someone tell me that I'm crazy and everything will be okay.

Until early last week, I was so extremely tired, that was my only symptom, nothing else. Now, I don't feel tired at all, nothing. No queasiness, no sleepiness, nothing. I'm really nervous that something happened to the baby and that is why my symptoms have dissapeared.

We did see the baby on us 11/1 and the OB said there was a < 1% chance of m/c. But I've had one before after seeing heartbeat. Granted the hb was slow that time and the sac was measuring a week behind baby, and this time all looked normal. I still worry though, and it's getting to be more and more.

We have a doppler here that I bought on ebay during my last pg but I'm only 9 weeks 5 days and I can't pick up the hb yet.

Say a prayer for me. I miss my old midwife in PA, I could have called her and she would have found some way to reassure me. She would have talked to me about it and somehow given me proof that everything is okay. This OB thing sucks and I have only met my new mw once. I don't feel comfortable calling her to cry that I'm having these paranoid thoughts.

I guess that's why I'm posting here. Someone please tell me that loss of symptoms at 9 weeks does not mean a mc. I only had a few symptoms to begin with, but now I have none.

[AnnaReilly]

Lack of symptoms DOESN'T mean a miscarriage. It just means you're lucky! I'm sure everything will be fine. You could always call your care provider and talk to them though. Maybe they can squeeze you in and pick up the heartbeat to reassure you.

[dani76]

What was the heart rate? Did the dr. tell you it was low? I'm sure everything is fine. But I totally understand being worried. Can you call your dr. and see if they can fit you in?

[kathywiehl]

Everything looked fine, so I know in my head that I shouldn't be worrying, but I will always worry after having the loss. Funny how those things change your view of pg forever. I used to think a pos. hpt = baby- now I know different and every once in awhile these things creep up on me and I freak out.

Honestly, I'm afraid to call my OB. What am I going to say "I'm scared, can you do an ultrasound?" I'd feel like an idiot and they probably would just dismiss me. I have a doppler here, so if the hb could be picked up with a doppler then I would just do it myself. My old mw would have scheduled another us even though I just had one on 11/1. Somehow I don't think this doc will do that.

My mw is a lay midwife and she can't do us or I would call her.

[NiksMom]

I've noticed that my symptoms come in waves. I'll have 2-3 days of no nausea and then it will come back on full force. Same with how tired I am- some days I'm less tired and others I'm absolutely exhausted.
I understand your fear though- I wish I could take it away, but I know that's not possible.
I think after having a miscarriage (my first pregnancy was a miscarriage) there is always a little bit of heightened anxiety and awareness.
I would call your ob though- it's your peace of mind, kwim?

[Karennnnn]

I have this theory now that after multiple pregnancies some people may have a higher tolerance to symptoms and it may seem like you're not having any. Does that make any sense?
With my first two pregnancies I did experience almost everything you're "supposed" to. Then came the blighted ovum where I had the symptoms but no nausea but still had everything else. I figured that since it was a blighted ovum that even though I had the hormones going through me, my symptoms may have been different. But then comes this pregnancy and there IS a baby and I have the same symptoms as the bo pretty much. I was worried about the no nausea thing but now I'm thinking maybe I'm just USED to all of these hormones especially after nursing for 4 years straight. Not sure if that has anything to do with it but maybe?
Anyhow it's probably NOTHING. But.. if you ever have a gut feeling something is wrong, let the proper people know who can completely reassure you. I have heard ob's say that they always listen to the mom if SHE says something is wrong. I've never heard it personally, only on tv lmao!! But hopefully your ob is that way. If you have the feeling he's not maybe you can make up a story about spotting or something.
Good luck and let us know what happens.
Karen

[Pepper]

Kathy,

If it were me I would call and say that I need to come in and have an u/s because my symptoms have disappeared and I need reassurance. I have the attitude that they work for me, because well, they do. We pay them a lot of money and they are there to work for us. Seriously. If you have even a thought that something is out of the ordinary you absolutely have the right to go in and have it checked out.

Don't even give it a second thought that you might be perceived as paranoid. When you have lost a baby you know that things can go wrong and your peace of mind is imperative. I'm sure that you are just lucky and feeling well but please call and get it checked out.

It takes only a few minutes to do an u/s. Hugs to you and please keep us posted.

[geminimommy]

I don't think I'd worry too much. I was exhausted and suffering from all day m/s until this week and now I don't even feel pg. With my first 2, othering than the increased urinating, I had no typical pg symptoms other than tender breasts. I think a lot of opinion is the m/s and such goes away at the 2nd trimester, but for some it gets better a few weeks before that.

However, I agree with the other posters that said to not feel bad about calling your ob for peace of mind, you are paying them a large sum, they should earn their money and never make you feel bad for calling them.

[paniscus]

I just wanted to let you know that I have also been super paranoid about m/c and I haven't had hardly any sypmptoms. I have been keeping a pregnancy journal and at 8w5d I wrote that my breasts were less sore and my food cravings (mostly salty foods) seemed to be diminishing. At 9w2d I said that the sleepiness was getting easier to handle. 9w4d the sleepiness had returned. At 9w6d I had another u/s (because the mw couldn't hear the hb with the doppler and she knows how paranoid I am) and the babe is still there beating away. At 10w2d I thought I was totally back to normal - I felt so good but the sleepiness still came right on time and I am now 10w5d and am still dealing with sleepiness. So as you can see I had about a short week right around 9 weeks where the sleepiness (which at this point is my only symptom) had gotten a lot better and our little chickpea was still there. Now the sleepiness has returned and I have my reassurance from the u/s; however, to be totally honest, I still get paranoid.

[Mindy70]

Dear Kathy,

I feel like this all the time. I had a blighted ovum, and when I got pg that time, I was feeling overconfident- miscarriages and the like don't happen to MY body, oh no. Then it happened. Now I wonder every day if all is well, even though at 7 w 2 d I saw a fetus with a good heartbeat measuring right on track. I do feel nauseus and bloated and tiiiiiiired, but sometimes I just feel normal and think that something is wrong. I have this fear that I'll go and there will not be a heartbeat, the baby will stop developing, or something will be wrong, like downs, or what about all those horror storries you read....stillbirth...cord accident....SIDS....OMG!!! Stop!!!

We just have to take a deeep breath and take it one day at a time. I love and enjoy my dd, and can't let the worry impair my life with her and DH too much, have to stay in the moment. And if something were to go wrong, as it can, we just hope that we will be supported and held by our loved ones and get past it.

(SHHHHH....BUT SECRETLY I AM POSTPONING MY NEXT APPOINTMENT UNTIL LATER THAN I SHOULD BECAUSE I WANT TO HAVE THE BEST CHANCE OF HEARING THE HEART BEAT...LIKE AT 12 WEEKS.)

Anyhow, good luck, and let's be there for each other and all the ladies on this board, ok?

[aja-belly]

i just wanted to add that i am dues like a day before you i think, and my symptoms are gone almost completely. all i have left is sore boobs, but they are bigger and i am wearing crappy too small bras. lol

i have had losses, too, and i was scared before this last u/s (monday). if you are worried, call your doctor. they may be willing to do an us to ease your mind. it's just more money for them, ya know?

aja

[5kidsmama]

I'll be 10 weeks tomorrow, and my symptoms are starting to go away. I'm rarely sick, and I seem to be getting my energy back. I don't need a nap every day anymore!

I think right about now is when our symptoms start to fade. Stinks that it's before we can have something else (besides US) for reassurance.

[aja-belly]

i agree. we should get to keep the symptoms until we feel the baby moving (of course, we should feel the baby sooner rather than have sympoms longer).

i vote for that.

kathy - how are you doing?

aja

[Selissa]

no advice but many (((hugs)))

[Pepper]

Kathy, I've been thinking of you. How are you doing?

[kathywiehl]

Thanks so much ladies for all of the wonderfully supportive posts. You ladies are amazing and I feel that I have real friends here even though we don't know each other IRL and we don't even know each other very well here online.

I still don't have any symptoms, but I have been so busy working on stuff for my CBE course that finally just ended a few hours ago. That's why I haven't been here to post in awhile.

Since my last us was only 12 days ago, I still don't feel right calling the OB for another one. I know you all say not to feel silly about it, but as hard as I try, I just don't feel right. I'm in a new state with different practices when it comes to birth. This is a whole new territory for me. Back home with my old mw, I would have called her to talk about my fears, but I can't do that here.

Thanks so much for the reassurance. I just need to stock up on my ultrasound gel and start trying to find the baby's heart tones with the doppler. I bought one during my last pregnancy because of this paranoia.

Anyway, thanks so much to all of you for sharing your experiences and reassurance and for letting me know that if I decide to call the doc it will be okay.

[Ivarson]

I'm in the same boat. I had an u/s on 10/27 at 7 weeks 4 days and all is well...all looks normal and heartrate is 137. Then I had sex with my husband a week later and there was some blood (probably the position we did - lol) and it stopped completely right when we stopped. I know this is normal (happened a lot when I was pregnant with my first) but it still worried me and ever since I think I lost the baby. Well, if I would have really lost it, I would have continued to bleed and it would have been painful, and I had none of that. Just paranoid. I go back on 12/1 for a regular appt and I can't wait. I feel like I need to call the doc for another u/s! Ugh! I had a m/c on June 2 at 9 weeks and they saw no heartbeat on the u/s so I think that's why I was getting scared...getting to the 9 week mark when I started to worry. Now I'm 10 weeks.