adjusting to first grade dynamics

[fennelseed]

hello,

my daughter is in first grade and has had number of issues adjusting. she's incredibly sensitive about the social dynamics in the class. it seems like her biggest issue is the "troublemakers" in the class. she is repeatedly distressed about the kids who are loud or overly-active at times that they shouldn't be. we've already had her seat changed once, because the boy she was sitting next to was kicking her chair and saying things to her that were undermining her confidence. now the boy she sits next to is loud and is always getting pulled aside for time-outs. she says it gives her headaches and interferes with her concentration.

it is so sad to see her so distressed at such a young age. we just had a heart to heart about it (at her request) and she started rubbing her head saying she was getting a headache talking about it, and tears were streaming out of her eyes.

i just wish i had the words of wisdom to make it better, to make it less distressing and distracting for her, but i just find myself saying, "try not to let it get to you. try to ignore them." yea sure. i was able to do a visualization with her to get her to relax and let go, and i think that helped, but i can't be next to her at school to aid in that sort of way.

so does anyone else have any words of wisdom? good books that help a parent help their kid navigate the grades and the social dynamics there in?
thanks!

[mattemma04]

I just read a book you might find useful called: The Pressured Child
I forget the author,but will do a goggle search on it.This book talks about the social and education pressures children face in the school setting.Another book by the same author is: Help Mom they are teasing me. I know she is not being teased directly,but the tips provided might be useful. Is another class an option? Hope things reslove soon!
Here is a link to the book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...18464?v=glance

You could probably get it through a library interloan program
Sara

[stafl]

moving this to Learning at School forum

is homeschooling an option?

Do you think maybe the harsh chemicals they use to clean the floors and stuff at the school could be contributing to her headaches and concentration problems? Harsh cleansers have that effect on me, when I was in school Mondays were always the worst because they would wax the floors over the weekends.

[fennelseed]

homeschooling is not really an option for us, at least not at this time. nor is changing classrooms. she is in a waldorf school and there is only one first grade. also, i think that no matter what classroom she's in, there will always be the few kids who make life difficult for the others. she loved kindergarten at the same school and is generally a very social kid. overall we've been really happy with the school and feel like it's the next best thing to home.

thanks for the book tips. i'll look for them.

i have never noticed a chemical smell at the school. i think they are pretty conscientious about what they use. her room is very pleasant. the headaches are recent and i do think they are stress related and/or related to holding in her feelings. her troubles from the day usually come pouring out just before bed or at the dinnertable.

[lauren]

Would it help to talk to the teacher to find out how s/he is managing all the rambunctiousness of the more active students? It seems that if the teacher could be channeling some of that energy more productively it wouldn't be bothering your dd so much? Aren't there SOME quieter students she could be seated near? It just seems there must be a workable solution that the school could help you with.....

[LunaMom]

I agree with lauren's suggestion, though I hate to say this, but as a teacher myself, it CAN be hard to find a table with all "quieter" kids. That's because teachers tend to spread the troublemakers out around the room because if they sat together it would be awful! So if a teacher has five or six tables, there's likely to be one challenging kid at each table, KWIM? It certainly can't hurt to ask, though, and just explain that your daughter is sensitive and she would be able to focus and work better if she sat elsewhere.