need advice

[happymommy]

Hi! This is my first post here. I was referred here by a member of ProMom site. (it is a great site for bf moms). I am a single mom of my 11week old dd. I left my boyfriend a week or so before dd was born. Many reasons! He didn't want the baby- we had only known eachother a month when i got pregnant. That was a HUGE mistake on my part!! He partied and drank and drugged my whole pregnancy, while i took care of his 2 yearold that he has custody of (don't ask me how!!). It was a terrible enviornment for a chid to be around, so FINALLY, i decided to leave and move back with my parents. They are really supportive and i am so greatful!! My ex even walked out of the hospitol, wanting nothing to do with me and dd. I don't want him around her AT ALL!! He wants me back now and says he wants to be with dd alot, but i know how he is and how he treats his other daughter. I guess i am venting, but i really need advice on how to deal with this situation.

I talked to a lawyer and he said that he would probably get supervised visits, but i am not sure. Ex says he will lie in court and deny whatever i say. Even the lawyer asked if i had thought about leaving the state!!

Does anyone have any similar experiences? And any advice?

P.S. I know that the general opinion is that my dd should be able to have a relationship with her father and that it is important for her to know him. . . . . .
I guess, i just think that as her mother, it is my responsibility to keep her safe, and even though i made a mistake by having a child with a person like him, I am trying to turn my life back around and give us a good chance at a new and better life.

[Tori]

My situation is not exactly the same but I have a few simalarities. I married the father of my 2 children. He was/is a drunk, druggie. He left the state. If you aren't worried about your boyfriend kidnapping your dd etc. you may want to wait before you do something legally. He may sort of stop trying to see your dd once he realizes you don't want to be with him anymore and then the courts will be more in favor of you because he has not tried to see your dd. He should be paying child support though and if you want support then custody has to be established. I understand that you don't want him to have anything to do with your dd and it sounds like you did the right thing by leaving him. Good job!!! I know it was a hard thing to do.