Originally Posted by Faith
If I also have my neighbors two kids here during that time (cooking for them, listening to them, answering their big & little questions, reading to them, discplining them, helping them go potty, etc...), what am I doing? I call it helping raise them. I might even be doing *more* of it than their own parents are, by the time they get here to pick them up at six and have them in bed by nine.
I saw most of them way more than their own moms did. I kissed their boo-boos, held them, sung them to sleep.... *These two-year-olds were being raised, no matter who was there doing it!* Children are beng raised 24/7, and don't stop just because their mom isn't around.
All my OP was about was that IT IS OKAY to ONLY SAH!!!
Now that the OP has been so amazingly condescending and self-righteous I see that she has fled the building. Good for her that is OKAY to ONLY SAH...I guess tough $h!t for everyone else that she has decided that it isn't okay to do anything else. We better all hurry home so that we can be good moms like she is...I would hate to be letting someone else raise my child after all.
Of course, I haven't seen hide nor hair of the preschool teachers that are "raising" her for me when she is vomiting in the middle of the night, needs new shoes or clothes, is being taught a moral lesson of any kind, has a nightmare, or needs to be sat with so she can fall asleep at night. I also don't see them spending a lot of time worrying how their choices of discipline, health, and parenting will impact her future. I didn't see them in the room when I was giving birth. I haven't ever seen any of them feeding her from their own bodies. I didn't see them doing research about vaccinations, schooling, organic food, cloth diapers, or anything else for that matter. I don't see them planning how to impart the morals that will give her guidance in her later years. I don't see them planning family vacations to expose her to other cultures in the world. I don't see them lying awake at night planning potty training or birthday parties. I don't see them trying to keep her safe from media influences or violence. I don't see them spending a lot of time making sure that she has a balanced and nutritious diet. I don't see them disciplining her in a way that will truly teach her something as opposed to solving a problem in the short term. I don't see them teaching her what it means to be an open-minded, intelligent, and independent woman. I don't see them saving money for her college, choosing the best possible care for her when they can't be around, planning her schooling, taking her to museums, spending hours reading her stories, or even giving her their complete and undivided attention. I don't see their hearts break when she is sad or hurt.
I was a nanny for four children for three years. I was with them 4 days a week from 7am until their father got home at 6pm. At the time, before I had children, I thought that I spent so much time with them, that I was in effect raising them, that I loved them just as much as I would someday love my own children. Guess what? I was an idiot. When I got sick and stayed home it wasn't me who juggled their schedules around to be there. When they were sick it wasn't me who was up with them all night, or who was home with them mopping up vomit. When I got the chance to attend a good college on scholarship I just went. I didn't have to plan for the future of the children I had been watching. I wasn't their parent. I had my own life and it didn't involve raising or worrying about four children. Not once did I have to worry about how my actions today might impact the rest of their lives. And guess what? Even though their mother worked a lot of hours when she came home they ran through that house like crazy people to get to her. They loved her with a love that I never even came close to. And she loved them back. They never questioned who their mother was, who was raising them. And neither does our daughter. I guess that children are just smarter than most adults.
Well, seeing as I am ranting all over the place and am obviously too angry to respond as eloquently as others already have I suppose that for now I better away.
Sheer idiocy and ignorance. Few things piss me off more.