|"Mothering will never get the respect it deserves until all mothers learn to respect one another. It's a plain and simple fact."- Laura
I do not respect all mothers. Or fathers. Uncles, aunts, grandparents, sisters, brothers. Simply because someone has a child/got pregnant/adopted doesn't earn my respect. I don't respect all animals because they have offspring, either. Procreation doesn't make someone respect worthy.
There are many mothers who harm children and I do not respect those mothers. The mothers who follow Ezzo, spank, wash with soap, hot sauce, etc., no I do not respect those mothers. There is no nobility in whitewashing abuse so that all mothers are respected upon birthing/adopting. Children aren't respected in that equation either.
I'm not aiming to be respected. That is a waste of time and typically, lip service with no power (read: money) behind it. I am working (with money and time) toward a better system (in the US) for mothers (as Mothering Mag has talked about here and elsewhere).
Frankly, this bit about 'it's none of your business' gets old. A lot of griping about no 'village' to support moms and take the kids off her hands but not wanting any of the loss of privacy and intrusion that is a natural part of the village. If the village doesn't like your style of parenting or thinks that you aren't mothering in the right way, then you are going to hear about it. Don't want the up-for-comment life? Then don't romanticize the village.
I'm thrilled that it is more common to go it alone in terms of parenting. I never would want the village style, much too limiting and opressive for me. I'm glad to have solitude, privacy and yes, lots of time with my kids and no expectation to nurse or care for other kids in the neighborhood or extended family. I want to parent differently than extended family and the natural village in my world. Thank ghord I can without too much suffering. Living in Zimbabwe and having my one year old go to another mama to live if I were pregnant with another child - no thanks. But that's how it's done. Or in parts of Africa where hitting children is expected, normal, natural. No thanks. I'd much rather leave the community, parent alone. When moms or anyone else doesn't respect me, it makes no difference in my mothering or life vision. I see 'respect' for moms - have a Happy Mother's Day, get a special food rub, a box of chocolates, flowers for 'all her hard work' and doing The Most Important Job in the World. Feh.