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Why I love Being a Single Mother - Page 2

post #21 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlzmommy00
no dirty laundry on the floor

.
wow girlzmommy, How do you do it?
post #22 of 481
Well, it's piled up else where but not on the floor. I just remind everyone that laundry has 2 places, your dresser or the hamper. I think all the living with stbx & him dropping his laundry on the floor right next to the hamper just drove me insane. I eventually refused to wash anything that wasn't in the hamper and only things that were turned right side out.

Over the summer, he stopped by on a hot day and changed his shirt when he got here. He left the old one here. He keeps asking about that shirt and if I washed it. He really assumed that I'd just wash it. I said no and asked when he was going to be taking my laundry back to his parents to wash. He hasn't asked again.
post #23 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlzmommy00
-I can spend 3+ hours at the store with out feeling I need to rush home or explain myself
-Everyone is respected 100% of the time
-No being 1/2 asleep the next day after waiting up wondering if he will come home after the bar closes or if not, where he is
-If I go out, I can leave when ever I want (no waiting to have 50 more drinks)
-No one to put me down!!!

And my all time favorite....

-I do not have to be nice to MIL anymore!! I don't have to put up with her crap and can tell her to shove it if I want to! I don't have to go there ever again.
OMG! Girlzmommy00 - were we seeing the same guy?!?!?
post #24 of 481
Yay! I love this thread! Me too, me too, to practically everything!

And add these:

I have been able to have my 85 year old Mom come live with me.

I am in the process of becoming a foster/adoptive home. I have room for 4 more kids when there is one less man. Can't explain the math there!

When the Dumplings find a stray kitten, I can say "of course".

I can unschool the Dumplings without explaining/defending my ideas (except to Mom, but that's different).

I can paint my bedroom walls burgundy.

I can paint the kitchen walls salmon. I mean bright. Really bright.

I can dig up the lawn for a veggie garden, more each year.

I can have 2 pet chickens, unfenced, who poop on the front porch, but I love them anyway.

I can laugh when things go wrong, instead of going into panic mode.

The dog can get on the couch.

The Dumplings can sleep on the family room floor, my bed, or wherever they want.

8 YO son can dress however he wants, without being teased.

Oh, I could go on and on. Oh, I love being single!!
post #25 of 481
I love everything about being a single mama..... There is actually one thing that I miss and that is sex, but the best sex in the world couldn't make up for the bull of living with a male.

Some specifics that I love about being single is,

~having only to rely on myself, not needing to get angry because the trash still needs to be taken out, no resentfulness because I have to do all the cleaning and cooking.

Really the resentfulness is the only thing I geuss. I always found myself being resentful over everything. From playing to many video games, to not helping around the house.

Being a single mom is the best thing for me.
post #26 of 481
I love being able to have my own traditions.

I love being able to do fun things with the kids whenever I want

I love being able to go out for breakfast and dawdle over my coffee, because coffee is a ritual that should not be rushed

I love that we no longer have to give in to materialism, and that my children will growup understanding the principle of voluntary simplicity

I love having friends and not worrying that someone is jealous about it
post #27 of 481
all of these and can really relate to soo many. Although not officially a single mom yet but felt like I have been in so many ways, I am really looking forward to it and feel such a sense of peace whenever I am dreaming of it becoming a reality. For me the peace is a major factor. Thank you ladies I've had such fun reading all the wonderful comments.
post #28 of 481
hi everyone -
I just wanted to say thanks for all these wonderful posts! I am 25 wks pregnant with #1, and the father is not involved at all.. while the prospect of going it alone was scary at first, I have managed to stay pretty positive, and there really are soo many benefits to being a single mom! Thanks for adding to my list. It's hard sometimes with everyone around me acting disapproving and wishing that I "had a guy to take care of me", but frankly, it'd probably be more like a guy that I would have to take care of in addition to the baby, and go through for all my decisions (and he would probably veto all my decisions) for the baby. I'm so happy that I can make my own decisions about how to birth, care for, and raise this child.
post #29 of 481
i have nothing to add, but i am feeling almost everyhting said here!

yes i do being a single mom, i can't imagine doing it any other way!
post #30 of 481
Though I'm not a single mom anymore, my favorite part was mac 'n cheese for dinner at 1am on the couch in my underwear watching whatever the hell I wanted on TV. With the thermostat at whatever temp I wanted it to be!!!



Mel
post #31 of 481
Boy did I need this today!

I'm a single mom to a now 2-month-old baby girl, and Lilfaithy, it's worth the work! (if you need to chat, PM me!)

My struggle has been trying to create enough hours to work so that I can still pay those bills, but today's a new day. Maya's fussy (no coffee again. NEVER again while I'm bfing!), but still I'm getting more accomplished than I'd expected.

Anyway, I'd say YES! to most of those reasons posted. I love that if there's mess in the house, it's our mess. Well, or perhaps the dogs' mess.
post #32 of 481
allibabble, I can so relate to the fussy baby...I dont think Deek stopped crying for the first 2.5 months he was with me, amazingly he stopped fussing the day I decided that if I was going to be sleep deprived I *had* to have coffee. Not the recommended approach I am sure!! :

After talking to my ex this week about something I knew he wouldnt like
(his ex flame- the one he left me for- is getting married) I have another reason to add....I don't have to live with passive agressive behaviour nor do I have to put up with people being rude!
post #33 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by brusselsprout
I love being able to have my own traditions.
this is one of my top 3 favorite things about being a single mom.
post #34 of 481
Wow, this thread is awesome. So much of what's been posted hits home for me.

Here are four of my favorite things about being a single mom:

* I can shop when I want and get what I want without having anyone give me the silent third degree. My kids and I actually dress way nicer now and eat better than I did when I was married, even though our income is miniscule (especially compared to what my ex made).

* I can play whatever music I want as loud as I want. Even the "weird" stuff.

* This is probably the opposite for most of you, but... I can watch sports! Lots and lots of sports. And I can yell as loud as I want at the TV while doing so. My ex doesn't really understand sports and would look at me like I was completely insane while I watched football or basketball. Then he would try to talk sports and his comments made no sense whatsoever since he didn't know what the heck he was talking about--very distracting.

* I can cook whatever food me and the kids want. This is a biggie for me since my ex has totally opposite eating habits from me. Also I don't have to worry about what time he is coming home from work or IF he is coming home from work. We can just eat whenever.
post #35 of 481

Single Parenting is Fantastic!

Wow. I love this thread, and I never expected to see something like this here. I have one 16-year-old son and am pregnant with #2. I have always loved being a single parent.

1) The child I have is going to grow up and leave, so even if he continues to act like a child, it won't be my problem.

2) I get to make all my decisions.

3) I get to clean or not clean as I like, stay up as late as I want, or go to bed as early as I want.

4) We eat when we are hungry, not by somebody else's schedule, and we eat what WE want.

5) I make all my own decisions.

6) I don't have to argue or defend my behavior, my dress, my friends, or any other aspect of my life to anyone else.

7) I have much better self-esteem and I am showing my son that women can do anything that needs to be done. He is one of the most non-sexist people I know because he sees me doing what needs doing. Period.

8) I can wear my pajamas whenever I like without complaints from someone else.

9) My life is my own. No question about it. Everyone who knows me knows that and RESPECTS THAT. Not many other women I know get the respect I do for the way they live their lives.

10) My son and I have a great relationship and it isn't overshadowed or interfered with by someone else who might/would be jealous.

Thanks for this thread. It is so wonderful to see it and know that there are dozens of beautiful, intelligent, creative women out there who are living a similar lifestyle and loving it as much as I do.

Crescent
post #36 of 481
I wanted to add another reason.... We ( myself and my x) could never have been the parents we are today if we would have stayed together. For some reason we couldn't support each other ...we got in each other's way. Now that we're apart our kids have a great mom and a great dad who can focus on them instead of their messed up marriage.

This is a great thread. It celebrates the courage it takes to strike out and create a life of our own for ourselves and our children.

Amanda
post #37 of 481
Don't forget.....(imagine a whole lot of whining)....."But mom/dad said I could do/have that!!!"
post #38 of 481
the big big big big thing for me - and, i see, for many of you - is making the decisions. whether it's having the power to color-coordinate the kitchen, or to decide how long to bf, it's a wonderful luxury.

the 2nd biggest thing - as some of you have said - is that i only have one baby. i can't imagine being responsible for another person's emotions, not to mention his laundry, his meals, his social life, etc...

i just read a thread in TAO about the MIL from hell. whew, i am thankful i don't have one of those!
post #39 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by woo27ks
I wanted to add another reason.... We ( myself and my x) could never have been the parents we are today if we would have stayed together. For some reason we couldn't support each other ...we got in each other's way. Now that we're apart our kids have a great mom and a great dad who can focus on them instead of their messed up marriage.

This is a great thread. It celebrates the courage it takes to strike out and create a life of our own for ourselves and our children.

Amanda

Yes, ITA. We get along better, can support each other so much better now that we are apart. If we start arguing about something we can just walk away and not have it encompass our whole lives cause we live together. We can actually be around each other and do things as a whole family without problems. I think it is great for my kids to have cooperative parents to be around. Much better than fights every single day.
post #40 of 481
Girlzmommy00 wrote:

>>-I do not have to be nice to MIL anymore!! I don't have to put up with her crap and can tell her to shove it if I want to! I don't have to go there ever again.<<

BTDT, shudder!!! And every night I pray: Dear God, help me to be a *good* MIL when my time comes. When Baby Bear brings home *whom ever* he brings home, help me to see the good in them that he sees. Help me to accept them. And please bless me that I may love this person as my sweet son does, enriching my life. Amen.

I hope NO ONE ever has to go through in-law issues like I did.
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