Why I love Being a Single Mother - Page 12

[aprilbaby06]

Why I Love Being A Single Mom

I am not currently a single mom, but will be soon again. Life isn't working out with dh #2. This thread has reminded me sooo much about what I loved about being single that I had to post.

1.) The bills will be paid before the day things are getting turned off.
2.) I can plan fun family activities without fear of and argument between us messing up the good time.
3.) No more yelling and fighting in front of the kids.
4.) I can BF DD as long as I want without him telling me she is getting too big. (she is only 9 months):
5.) I can be crunchy and use cloth diapers and eat organic food without any comments.
6.)Any mess in the house is my mess.
7.) I don't dread coming home.
8.) His money problems will be just that HIS PROBLEMS, not ours. (LOOOOONG STORY)
9.) No more being lonley.
10.) No more 20 hr a day TV 7 days a week.
11.) No one yelling in my home.
12.)No more running late to everything.
13.) Less laundry.
14.) Cheaper water, power, and phone bills.


This post has motivated me to remember that I have done this once I can do it again.

[simplegirl]

You guys rock the house!! I am newly single myself and loving it! Everyone I run into tells me that there's another guy just around the corner for me and I reply "I hope not!".

My main reasons for loving being a single mother is being able to raise them however I want; being able to play my 'screaming lesbian' music as loud as I want and knowing that I am capable of taking care of my children without having to have a man around!

[yaM yaM]

I am thanking the Goddess for this thread.

[yaM yaM]

I love that my children have a predictable, stable emotional environment in which they can count on me (and each other) to be accountable for what we do and say.

I love that they are cherished equally in this house now instead of being favored or belittled.

I love that they are now thriving.

I love that they don't feel like they need to help mommy because she's sad.

I love that they don't live in fear of daddy's mood swings, anymore.

That they can just be kids.

That they know I am here for them no matter what and that I would do anything in the world for them. Anything.

[Blue Dragonfly]

I bought myself hot pink bed sheets for Valentine's day. They are hot. And beautiful.

I too love this thread.

[MamaDaednu]

Originally Posted by May May

I love that my children have a predictable, stable emotional environment in which they can count on me (and each other) to be accountable for what we do and say.

I love that they are cherished equally in this house now instead of being favored or belittled.

I love that they are now thriving.

I love that they don't feel like they need to help mommy because she's sad.

I love that they don't live in fear of daddy's mood swings, anymore.

That they can just be kids.

That they know I am here for them no matter what and that I would do anything in the world for them. Anything.

Wow wow wow.
I really hope I'll be writing that 2 months from now.
Roll on divorce and move!
Thank you for that little ray of light/peek into the near future.

[sequoiastar]

Hi, this is my first time on here. i've been a single mom since the beginning, dating only a few people for very short stints, and now my daugher's nealry 9. I've been reading mothering since she was an infant, but never thought of looking into this online world until today when i was feeling so tired with it all, searching for a clue. this thread has been ***wonderful***. Cheers to all you strong, wise single moms out there, appreciating the positives and standing tall! We need to remember that we are not alone. thanks to you all!!

[babibelli]

first of all,
sequoiastar!


i love this thread. whenever i feel "down" i come visit it and it lifts me up :

what i love about being a single mom:

-that i am empowered and my dreams are becoming a reality
-we get to live in a beautiful, family friendly colorado town (previously x had moved us to vegas..: )
-i know that there will be money for groceries and things we need..no more checks bouncing all over town
- i get to wear comfy white jammies to bed
-i can finally be the mom my dd's deserve and need because i am not stressed out over a bad marriage anymore
-everyone is loved and respected and listened to
-no more tv
- i have self esteem and i believe in myslef
-life no longer feels as though i am swimming upstream

[elliemae8]

Love being a SAHM but need ideas too

I absolutely agree with everything that has been said ESPECIALLY with the no snoring husband and noone to fight in front of baby! I noticed that a few of you say you work at home, and right now I am completely dependent upon ex financially with NO extra income (barely enough to make mortgage, insurance, car note, etc.).

What work-at-home business do you do at home to support yourself and your child(ren)? Any ideas for how I can support myself and my baby and NOT have to depend any more on an ex? Let me know if I need to be in another forum/thread...THANKS

[yaM yaM]

I love being a single mama because I get to experience the self-nurturing, self-support and self-understanding that I am proud to give myself. . . and that my home now consists of only those things and nothing that counters them.

Happy Mother's Day, angels.

[yaM yaM]

.

[xxxcloudxxx]

I love it because I love my kids and my life, if I weren't a single mother I would love that too.

[kvoynar]

Thank you for this wonderful thread! I've been using it as inspiration to make my own list, to keep my spirits up as I navigate moving four young kids 2,000 miles with limited help from STBX, who is too busy messing around with The Affair to actually think about his kids or helping us with this move.

The thing that struck me the most was about not feeling lonely anymore. I'm just now coming to terms with how terribly lonely I've been, being in a relationship with a man who spends more time on his computer IMing with other women than talking to his wife (and who, now, says that HE put everything he could into the relationshipt to make it work -- yeah, while pursuing emotional and physical affairs and ignoring his family, whatever).

Anyhow, here's my short list of what I'm looking forward to about our move and our path to our new life:

No more seeing the broken looks on my kids' faces when Daddy comes home and boots up his laptop before he even acknowledges them.

No more feeling angry because he never plays with the kids, does bedtime stories, takes them anywhere.

No more wondering who he's IMing with and what he's saying, and what he's planning behind my back this time.

I will be in control of the budget, and paying things on TIME! No more stress over late notices and threats of power being cut off. No more overspending on groceries to compensate for his poor childhood.

I can budget for household improvements I want -- new slipcovers for the couch and chair, new candles, new bedspreads, etc.

I can budget for stuff for the kids without him bitching about me spending on them (everything they own is second-hand, but he is STILL bitching to people about how I don't stay within budget -- while he goes out and drops $60 at a happy hour binge without a second thought).

I can decorate my house however I want.

I can soak in a late night candlelit bath with a good book, without worrying about what he's doing with whom.

I can spend all the time I want with my kids, without him whining about how I never put him first.

I can spend all the time I want with my mom and family.

My kids will finally get to meet my family members they've never even met.

We can have a family rule about no computers from 5PM - bedtime -- that will be REAL family time! With the kids actually getting attention and energy. With no tension or fighting. With no dealing with this Jekyll-Hyde mood swings.

We can have dinner at the dinner table every single night! With candles on Sundays and special occasions!

NO MORE CLUTTER!

I'm sure there are many more, but I'm looking forward to starting here and moving forward. Now, I must go pack. :-)

K.

[Metta&Karuna]

So far what I love about becoming a single mom is how it is acquainting me with my own capability, producing whole new heights of courage, new depths of love, and an ability to find joy amid the struggle. And I am learning to love and rely upon myself and my Higher Power and my community.

[EvolvingMama]

I am a single mom of a 2 month-old baby boy and an 11 year-old boy. I share custody with the dad of my older son, to whom I was married and, therefore, NOT single when E. was a baby. This time around, I am 11 years older, more stable financially and emotionally, and find mothering as a single parent easier in some ways than having a partner. I have been single for 5 years, so alot of what I enjoy about being a single parent is just what I enjoy about being on my own.

Today, I am simply LOVING that my baby boy can spend an entire day with JUST me, at exactly the pace that fits for him and for me. Today we just flowed. I made a commitment not to drive anywhere today, and we live in a very small town, so we did things like took a long walk, gardened, cooked, worked on a sewing project, and knitted...that is, when we weren't nursing. I love that I can meet all of his needs and follow his lead, and see him smile BIG at me and even get some of my own needs met in the bargain. It's amazing what good company we are for each other. This coming week is our week with his brother, which is a different kind of together time. I love that the baby and I have our private time alone to really get to know each other and develop my intuition for him and awareness of who he is. AND I love the time I spend with both of my boys together, and watching their relationship unfold.

I made a decision recently to take a road trip next month - from NE California to western Colorado - with my children to see old friends. We will have adventures along the way, take our time and not drive too much each day, and have time to bond bond bond as a new family. I love that I can make this choice all by myself for my children and me ---- it's empowering, and a little scary!

I appreciate this thread so much, especially on days when I haven't seen any friends or even other people besides my baby, and am feeling really tired from being "on" with the baby all the time. It's incredibly challenging AND therefore, so extremely rewarding and precious, to be an independent mommy.

Good night, mamas!

[yaM yaM]

That is just beautiful, Laurie. Thank you for sharing your experience, here.

[cwat]

Adding my 2 cents worth

Hi, I just had to add to this post. I love what everyone else has posted, and I just wanted to add my 2 cents.
I love that I can have all the kids in bed with me (yes, even the 14yo and the 13yo on occasion) and I don't have to listen to long suffering sighs or "aren't they too old for this?"
I love that I can watch t.v. and talk during it (especially now that everything is repeats) and not have to listen to "can't you guys just shut up and listen to the t.v."?
I love that I know everyone is loved and not being yelled at for whatever reason (usually stupid). I love that my 13yo can talk to me about anything(eek) and I can talk to him too.
Anyway, I just wanted to add my little bit.

[laylaybabymama]

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i love being a singel the fact that there is a place were singel moms can write this is awsome i want to say that being a singel mom is great i love that i dont have to answer to a man and that i can do what i please not worry about what he is going to do next like if i dont get house done in time or what time were eatingand i have to say thanks ladies

[Shylah]

I've been a single mama since the day my daughter was born; I don't know anything else. I do know, though, that since her father decided to be involved in her life, I bristle when he tries to exert any authority. I imagine it'd be even harder to deal with having to consult someone for everything.

Something I haven't seen mentioned (though I'll admit to not having read all 12 pages.. lol) is that I absolutely LOVE that I know where everything is. No one puts my colander in the wrong cabinet or puts my keys on the kitchen counter instead of the hook by the door where they belong. I'm not the neatest person in the world by any means, but there are some things I'm anal about. Everything in my kitchen has a place, and if you can't put it in that place, then just get out and let me do it.

(P.S. Kim, I am so proud of you for what you're doing. Keep up the great work, and know that there are so very many of us out there who love and support you.)

[sjbppd]

You get to shop until you drop with no one to answer to. No pressures of hiding gifts or ripping off tags immediately after purchase.

Boy do you have it made.